This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Maybe you could advocate for temporary placement for your former client.
Dressing up for it is another unsolved mystery.
Do you think Jeanne will bake a cake?
She got up, was find, half way thru her breakfast she said her shoulder hurt, she was getting pale, I started asking all the mandantory questions, and asked her to show me where all she was hurting....she went from her shoulder to her back... I told H to call 911, of course he got rattled, but I quickly told him women present different than men when having a heart attack... long story short, she is on her way to Austin , her heart dr is there, by ambulance of course.... so, everything is on hold until I know what is going on....
2. The FIRST word you see describes YOU! .... HAPPY
.......................
I don't think this is accurate because being a voracious reader, I always read from left to right, from top to bottom. The first line has no word spelled out. The 2nd line has the word "happy". Jump to the 5th line which has Genuine, etc...
1. What did you see FIRST? What are you attracting right now?
(On the very first line: CSWISELOVETOUGH)
- I saw LOVE.
2
"What do you do"?
Just answer...
" Whatever it takes"!!
Today's Tuesday. Tomorrow is Wednesday, a Federal holiday with the banks being closed. I did Not remind him that it's payroll. He finally remembered when it was 5pm. All well... we won't get paid on time. That's okay. He didn't like me reminding him about payroll - suffer the consequences, then. I still won't remind him anymore. I can always transfer cash from my savings to my checking if I need to pay something ASAP...
The more you are thankful, the more you attract things to be thankful for.
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Comments from other posters regarding the above...
* I'm always grateful that money always finds its way to me and my needs are always met.
* I can't believe I am saying this, but I am thankful for all the people who screwed me over, walked out on me, who put me down to ground zero... Because of you people, I am standing tall from fighting the right. And I am ROARING. I am the winner, you people are the losers. Thanks for making me who I am today.
* I am thankful that I've grown to love myself.
########
One day, with that 2nd comment above, I will be able to appreciate that my past childhood and dysfunction and all the people who have hurt me, used me, took advantage of my good nature, etc... that I will learn to stand up and look them in the eyes and say; "NO, I will not do that anymore."
I included the last comment - because that touched me. One day.. I hope to love myself...
Alreme, I’m glad that today’s a good day. We take what we can and enjoy it while we can.
Reverse – Most people complain but they don’t see it as complaining. But, when they see someone ‘complaining’ they criticize you. My family was like that years ago. Until I found this website. Non-Caregivers do not understand what we’re going through. I read a lot of Reader’s Digest for years. There were 2 stories that stood out to me. Both were doctors who became very sick, and had to be hospitalized. After their got well, both doctors learned what it’s like to be the sick person, the uncertainties, etc… They both have admitted that their near-death experiences now makes them better doctors. So you know what? I’d continue what I’m doing. The next time he complains, be truthful and tell him that he does the same. And then tell him that he’s doing a double standard. And until he stops complaining about his ob, you will continue to complain about caregiving. And it’s true. When he stops, you just come back here on AC and purge yourself. =)
Pam, good for you to actually find a way to get leave so that you can relax with your mom. Hope the drive wasn’t as bad as you thought. Did you bring a little pillow to put behind your back – as a support for that long drive?
So, if things go according to plan,I should be out of there in less than two weeks... if they try to drag it out further than that..... too bad....
My plans are to have no plans for a little while, gonna feel so strange... and hopefully I can detox my body from so much stress of keeping my mouth shut for so long. lol..... I can't believe I am finally here ya'll. Feels somewhat surreal... but have been doing some deep cleansing breaths.... I am so ready. Thanks for all those that have supported me..... love, hugs, angels, and chocolate.
Love the islands.
Book, enjoyed the travel stories..fun-a-what-i??? Maybe we all should resign today, and go to funafuti on vacation.
Glad, I am going to google that too. Never heard of it.
While I know that a lot of things we cannot control, we can control how we react and respond to them...and I'm going to choose to be happy...This morning Mama is feeling better, and she is resting well and the hospice team said she has returned to all her normal vitals and so this day I am going to be happy and positive..Filling this home with as much love and joy as I can cram in here....Have started doing my holiday cleaning and may even go out and rake a while...it's drizzling rain but I kind of like raking in the rain...I can work out a lot when I'm raking...I know the leaf sucker man is coming soon and I want to get as many of the leaves to the curb as I can....soooo happy for the leaf sucker man...we have composted so many leaves and such I have no real area to do it now....Also some huge oaks and hickories that if I don't have them pruned back are becoming a risk to our home, so that will need to be tended to soon... I hope everyone is having a good morning...Ladee, hope all goes well for you ...Book, thanks again for the reminder...
After this, I got a call from another large client, that I need to get his employee to Funafuti by Saturday! Have any of you know how hard it is to get anyone to Funafuti? There's only one way to get there - via Nadi (Fiji) and then fly to Suva and then Funafuti. The problem is the Suva-Funafuti is almost always sold out! The best that I can do - is for the employee to arrive there next week on Thursday! I finally left work at 6:45pm - and it was dark outside. This time, I brought my flashlight and basically ran in the dark parking lot to my car. Quickly looked in to make sure no one was hiding in the backseat.
My brain is exhausted....
I read daily the 'power of positive' quotes. Today, it's:
Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction.
Break the habit.
Talk about your joys. (by Rita Schiano)
Joys? I'm not sure what joy is. But something happened today that made me feel good. Remember that big client company I'm handling? They're suppose to rotate on travel agencies - every 3 months. October was our last month. November - they're suppose to go to the next travel agency on their list. One of the department actually called us and asked if it was okay if they came to us. I said yes (because my boss already chewed me out last week when I told the same coordinator that they're doing the agency rotation and November is the new agency.).
It's funny, but when I first started handling them 3 months ago, I had to 'educate' almost all of them about making reservations. I don't know how the other agencies used to do it. But I tell the clients up front that what I quote to them is always subject to change unless they purchase the ticket. They always seem surprise when I tell them that I cannot reserve the airline reservation without a name. What's worse, they wanted me to put a fictitious name and then do a name change. I refuse. I tell them that as soon as they give me the traveler's names, I will book it. When finalized, I assign seats. According to the airline, a lot of the travel agents don't assign seats for their clients. They even call the airline to assign it for them! {{shaking my head.}}
Conclusion, my services these past 3 months must be exceptional enough that that one department coordinator prefers to come to me to book her VIP bookings around Thanksgiving. So, that is my 'joy' for today. That a client would still prefer to come to me to do her department's VIP bookings instead of the next travel agent. =)
I have felt more like myself today than I have in a very long time.... I think it's called 'happiness', hmmm, not sure, been so long... hugs to all of you and thanks for listening to me...
Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Walmart - no longer sends electronic devices overseas to our area. Due to the USPS that no lithium be sent by mail. They have decided to not send Anything with lithium batteries in it. I have asked the USPS about this rule. They said that the rule is against sending Just Lithium batteries...Not Lithium batteries in cell phones, ereaders, etc...
This is from the USPS website:
Lithium Batteries Collapse FAQ question
Only lithium cells and batteries that are properly installed in the equipment they are intended to operate may be sent internationally or to APO/FPO/DPO locations if not restricted or prohibited by the destination country. Lithium batteries packed with, but not installed in, equipment and lithium batteries sent separate from equipment are prohibited. Damaged or recalled batteries are prohibited and may not be mailed internationally under any circumstances.
According their website and the USPS I spoke to, you can send an electronic device with lithium because the Device itself is keeping the lithium battery stable. The agent said that the lithium batteries are unstable when it's Not installed in a device. But try telling this to Amazon, BN and Walmart.
I don't want to do a factory reset on my kindle. I have too many notes on my notebook. And I've downloaded so many books NOT from Amazon. (Sideloaded some ebooks.) I have notes on all these books. I will continue to use the kindle until it dies... I want another kindle to start transferring stuff from the old to the 'new' one with the notes (medical history, car repair history, ebooks read and love the authors, etc...).
Asking my husband seems to bother him, but other times he is so sweet and generous about my questions for others. Private message me anytime and I will try to get some helpful answers for you., from this geek computer expert of mine.
Of course, all this is over my head. Sorry you cannot get good stuff mailed to you.
I could have ordered from Amazon and have it mailed to my sibs in the states. When I was in VA, bro offered for me to pack my stuff and his GF will mail it to me. She did not automatically second his offer. So, I got the Hint. I packed as much as I could on my 1 suitcase, and threw away all excess. Why give her my excess when she obviously didn't want to mail my stuff back? I may not say much, but I am observant. Hence I'm so torn about going next year to visit bro and GF.
Although I had so much fun, the 'dynamics' between her, bro and me is just very uncomfortable. Although, I will admit that that alone makes me want to go visit them next year! Knowing that she hates it when bro and I are close and can enjoy ourselves without her around. BUT, I want to really enjoy my vacation - and don't feel like between torn between them.
This morning, I reminded myself to Google on things to do in Colorado Springs area and Norfolk. This time, next year, I will have some goals - if they're willing - on some Free stuff one can do. Later! I have sooo much to do today...