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They are releasing her today, I just found out... and no, I'm still leaving... just need to wait and see what is going on.... Daughter said they could find nothing wrong with her heart.... so follow up with Dr's.... so still don't know my own status.... and no I won't choose her over me, but at the same time, depending on what is going on, I will choose H if he can not find help..... but they have a lot of options....so, it's till a 'go', just not sure when... and it won't be a month from now either..... I swear, I wanted to slap the oldest daughter she was firing so many questions at me.I simply go into 'caregiver mode' and tend to what all needs tending to....I had already done everything she was asking me about, the thing was, she wouldn't give me a chance to answer...... Lord , hang tight to me until I can out of there...
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Ladee, good call. I would never have guessed she was suffering a heart attack just based on that. Why is your retirement on hold? I hope you just meant - until they find the paid caregiver who is familiar with her health issues. May I remind you what I went through when dad had his stroke and became bedridden? He wanted us to fetch this and that, verbally abusive because we guessed wrong on what he was pointing at, and wanted me to do him first before mom. The list goes on.....Do you think that by suffering a heart attack, J will have an epiphany and realize her selfish and lying behaviors must cease. And become a docile and appreciative patient? Beware of those heartstrings and guilty conscience - they're sneaky. You do what you need to do. As usual, do it with open eyes and set a new limit. {{{HUGS}}}
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Ladee, start making good choices early to strengthen your resolve. Would you choose (J)'s heart over your own heart health?
Maybe you could advocate for temporary placement for your former client.
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Ladee, good call, but we are having your retirement party with or without you!
Dressing up for it is another unsolved mystery.
Do you think Jeanne will bake a cake?
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Oh, by the way, not a bad call for a caregiver that doesn't know what the h*ll she doing... right??
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Well, Ya'll, don't get dressed up for my retirement party just yet... J had a heart attack at the breakfast table this morning...
She got up, was find, half way thru her breakfast she said her shoulder hurt, she was getting pale, I started asking all the mandantory questions, and asked her to show me where all she was hurting....she went from her shoulder to her back... I told H to call 911, of course he got rattled, but I quickly told him women present different than men when having a heart attack... long story short, she is on her way to Austin , her heart dr is there, by ambulance of course.... so, everything is on hold until I know what is going on....
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....sorry, the cursor was on "POST COMMENT" and I accidentally hit Enter... and it Entered.

2. The FIRST word you see describes YOU! .... HAPPY
.......................
I don't think this is accurate because being a voracious reader, I always read from left to right, from top to bottom. The first line has no word spelled out. The 2nd line has the word "happy". Jump to the 5th line which has Genuine, etc...
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On FB, they have this Search Word grid.
1. What did you see FIRST? What are you attracting right now?
(On the very first line: CSWISELOVETOUGH)
- I saw LOVE.

2
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When someone asks....

"What do you do"?

Just answer...

" Whatever it takes"!!
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We're suppose to turn in our timesheet to the outsource payroll company on Mondays. The last 2 paydays, I would remind the boss on Tuesday about payroll. He would respond sarcastically, or angrily, "I know it's payroll!" Both times, he said it meanly. So, I decided to not remind him anymore.

Today's Tuesday. Tomorrow is Wednesday, a Federal holiday with the banks being closed. I did Not remind him that it's payroll. He finally remembered when it was 5pm. All well... we won't get paid on time. That's okay. He didn't like me reminding him about payroll - suffer the consequences, then. I still won't remind him anymore. I can always transfer cash from my savings to my checking if I need to pay something ASAP...
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Power of Positivity:

The more you are thankful, the more you attract things to be thankful for.

-------------------
Comments from other posters regarding the above...

* I'm always grateful that money always finds its way to me and my needs are always met.

* I can't believe I am saying this, but I am thankful for all the people who screwed me over, walked out on me, who put me down to ground zero... Because of you people, I am standing tall from fighting the right. And I am ROARING. I am the winner, you people are the losers. Thanks for making me who I am today.

* I am thankful that I've grown to love myself.

########
One day, with that 2nd comment above, I will be able to appreciate that my past childhood and dysfunction and all the people who have hurt me, used me, took advantage of my good nature, etc... that I will learn to stand up and look them in the eyes and say; "NO, I will not do that anymore."

I included the last comment - because that touched me. One day.. I hope to love myself...
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Ladee, you did it!!! Two weeks to go and no more of J to make your life miserable. Too bad you couldn’t be truthful. Yeah, yeah, I wouldn’t have been truthful either. Good to fantasize about it…

Alreme, I’m glad that today’s a good day. We take what we can and enjoy it while we can.
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Send, I would not go willingly to Funafuti, Nadi, Suva, Fiji, etc… I once traveled by myself for 1 week to Bali, Indonesia. This was over 10 years ago. It was a place that was not as ‘modern’ as my little island. We live in concrete homes. These people live in tiny wooden houses. The children can be found along the road, picking coffee seeds (?) off the bushes/trees. An elderly woman was in the river, just standing there. Our guide says that they uhm… ‘use the restroom’ in the river. This is the one day road trip up to the mountain tour. I learned real quickly that using the bathroom at a small restaurant – is not like using a ‘modern’ bathroom. I was not about to complain. Option is to Use it or wet myself. I used it. =) After this trip,I have decided that I would rather not visit ‘poor’ countries. It’s very depressing.

Reverse – Most people complain but they don’t see it as complaining. But, when they see someone ‘complaining’ they criticize you. My family was like that years ago. Until I found this website. Non-Caregivers do not understand what we’re going through. I read a lot of Reader’s Digest for years. There were 2 stories that stood out to me. Both were doctors who became very sick, and had to be hospitalized. After their got well, both doctors learned what it’s like to be the sick person, the uncertainties, etc… They both have admitted that their near-death experiences now makes them better doctors. So you know what? I’d continue what I’m doing. The next time he complains, be truthful and tell him that he does the same. And then tell him that he’s doing a double standard. And until he stops complaining about his ob, you will continue to complain about caregiving. And it’s true. When he stops, you just come back here on AC and purge yourself. =)

Pam, good for you to actually find a way to get leave so that you can relax with your mom. Hope the drive wasn’t as bad as you thought. Did you bring a little pillow to put behind your back – as a support for that long drive?
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Today was another good day. It was sunny and mild so we sat outside for an hour and a half. Afterwards we had sandwiches and lemonade.
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Whew !!!! All went well, at least with H. I knew he would understand, not so much with J.... we had to explain to her 15 times it was because of my health... because she had worked herself into a tizzy wondering what H and I were talking about.... so angry that her face was red.... ohhh, I am going to miss her so... NOT !!!!
So, if things go according to plan,I should be out of there in less than two weeks... if they try to drag it out further than that..... too bad....
My plans are to have no plans for a little while, gonna feel so strange... and hopefully I can detox my body from so much stress of keeping my mouth shut for so long. lol..... I can't believe I am finally here ya'll. Feels somewhat surreal... but have been doing some deep cleansing breaths.... I am so ready. Thanks for all those that have supported me..... love, hugs, angels, and chocolate.
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Well I am supposed to go on an overnight girls trip tomorrow with my daugher and my best friend who is going through some rough stuff medically. BF found this place, it's a 3 hour drive ( which I will share with daughter) I took off today as I fried my back at work last week, and kept on working 3 more days! But I looked at the workload today, and who I would be working with.. and just said Heck NO way!! I have fmla for my back.. never use it.. but I did today! Mom and I watched Poldark on the DVD, and I took it very easy. So wish me luck! If the drive dosen't kill me the place looks like alot of fun. Peddlars Village near Philly in Pa.
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I dont remember seeing this post but today my adult son told me all I do in complain about caregiving, ripped my heart out. He complains about his ob, so why cant I ? sure doesnt mean I dont love my Mom because I do but dont we all look forward to life after caregiving? Argh horrible day.Guess I need to shut up and change my habit too!
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Going to change my avatar back to Baccarat Crystal vase, any minute now.
Love the islands.
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Tuvalu islands...?
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Hope, it is the perfect time of year for tree trimming!
Book, enjoyed the travel stories..fun-a-what-i??? Maybe we all should resign today, and go to funafuti on vacation.
Glad, I am going to google that too. Never heard of it.
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break the habit...talk about your joys....Book, I love that...I am trying to do that as well.

While I know that a lot of things we cannot control, we can control how we react and respond to them...and I'm going to choose to be happy...This morning Mama is feeling better, and she is resting well and the hospice team said she has returned to all her normal vitals and so this day I am going to be happy and positive..Filling this home with as much love and joy as I can cram in here....Have started doing my holiday cleaning and may even go out and rake a while...it's drizzling rain but I kind of like raking in the rain...I can work out a lot when I'm raking...I know the leaf sucker man is coming soon and I want to get as many of the leaves to the curb as I can....soooo happy for the leaf sucker man...we have composted so many leaves and such I have no real area to do it now....Also some huge oaks and hickories that if I don't have them pruned back are becoming a risk to our home, so that will need to be tended to soon... I hope everyone is having a good morning...Ladee, hope all goes well for you ...Book, thanks again for the reminder...
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LOL, Book! I will have to google Funafuti and Suva.
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P.S... I spent like 2 hours on the phone making long distance phone calls trying to put back a client's Hawaiian Airlines flight cancellations. United INSISTED that the travel agent cancelled it. I said no, I came in this morning and it was already cancelled. He was friendly in the beginning. But the more I insisted that I didn't cancel it, and he insisted that we did, he became not so friendly. We hung up. I called our computer Help Desk who was able to read our client's reservation history. She said that United cancelled the flights. So, I then called Hawaiian Airlines. The agent said that the SYSTEM cancelled it - she cannot tell who. But that she cannot reinstate it - only UA can reinstate it since it's UA's ticket. In frustration, I emailed our local UA agent and asked if they can re-instate HA flights. And he did. FYI, I did go to our local UA agent but she said that HA cancelled it!

After this, I got a call from another large client, that I need to get his employee to Funafuti by Saturday! Have any of you know how hard it is to get anyone to Funafuti? There's only one way to get there - via Nadi (Fiji) and then fly to Suva and then Funafuti. The problem is the Suva-Funafuti is almost always sold out! The best that I can do - is for the employee to arrive there next week on Thursday! I finally left work at 6:45pm - and it was dark outside. This time, I brought my flashlight and basically ran in the dark parking lot to my car. Quickly looked in to make sure no one was hiding in the backseat.

My brain is exhausted....
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I've been reading a lot of self-help books, ex-therapy and Ladee with the running theme of 'gratefulness.'

I read daily the 'power of positive' quotes. Today, it's:
Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction.
Break the habit.
Talk about your joys. (by Rita Schiano)

Joys? I'm not sure what joy is. But something happened today that made me feel good. Remember that big client company I'm handling? They're suppose to rotate on travel agencies - every 3 months. October was our last month. November - they're suppose to go to the next travel agency on their list. One of the department actually called us and asked if it was okay if they came to us. I said yes (because my boss already chewed me out last week when I told the same coordinator that they're doing the agency rotation and November is the new agency.).

It's funny, but when I first started handling them 3 months ago, I had to 'educate' almost all of them about making reservations. I don't know how the other agencies used to do it. But I tell the clients up front that what I quote to them is always subject to change unless they purchase the ticket. They always seem surprise when I tell them that I cannot reserve the airline reservation without a name. What's worse, they wanted me to put a fictitious name and then do a name change. I refuse. I tell them that as soon as they give me the traveler's names, I will book it. When finalized, I assign seats. According to the airline, a lot of the travel agents don't assign seats for their clients. They even call the airline to assign it for them! {{shaking my head.}}

Conclusion, my services these past 3 months must be exceptional enough that that one department coordinator prefers to come to me to book her VIP bookings around Thanksgiving. So, that is my 'joy' for today. That a client would still prefer to come to me to do her department's VIP bookings instead of the next travel agent. =)
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Ladee, {{{Hugs}}} of support!
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Ok ya'll, wish me luck giving my resignation tomorrow......... hope there isn't a lot of drama, and will simply tell them my body can no longer do this. That is true. Will not go into all the other stuff.. it's done and over with. Will let them know I will try to stay until they find someone else... if it takes too long, well, I am leaving anyway.
I have felt more like myself today than I have in a very long time.... I think it's called 'happiness', hmmm, not sure, been so long... hugs to all of you and thanks for listening to me...
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Thanks, Send. I usually prefer to buy brand new when it comes to electronics. Which I tried with Amazon directly but they won't send it. So, the only other way to get the Kindle is via the USED option. Each individual seller decides if they want to sell only to domestic or international buyers. It's difficult to find sellers willing to send to international. This seller has a one-time used - compared to the other seller who had to Replace the screen! I want to try the one-time used Kindle. If it try it, and it doesn't work as I think it should for a one-time used, then I will request for refund.

Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Walmart - no longer sends electronic devices overseas to our area. Due to the USPS that no lithium be sent by mail. They have decided to not send Anything with lithium batteries in it. I have asked the USPS about this rule. They said that the rule is against sending Just Lithium batteries...Not Lithium batteries in cell phones, ereaders, etc...

This is from the USPS website:
Lithium Batteries Collapse FAQ question
Only lithium cells and batteries that are properly installed in the equipment they are intended to operate may be sent internationally or to APO/FPO/DPO locations if not restricted or prohibited by the destination country. Lithium batteries packed with, but not installed in, equipment and lithium batteries sent separate from equipment are prohibited. Damaged or recalled batteries are prohibited and may not be mailed internationally under any circumstances.

According their website and the USPS I spoke to, you can send an electronic device with lithium because the Device itself is keeping the lithium battery stable. The agent said that the lithium batteries are unstable when it's Not installed in a device. But try telling this to Amazon, BN and Walmart.

I don't want to do a factory reset on my kindle. I have too many notes on my notebook. And I've downloaded so many books NOT from Amazon. (Sideloaded some ebooks.) I have notes on all these books. I will continue to use the kindle until it dies... I want another kindle to start transferring stuff from the old to the 'new' one with the notes (medical history, car repair history, ebooks read and love the authors, etc...).
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Book, try "some kind of a hard reset, restoring factory settings with your old kindle." At least try telling this to your computer fixer, if you have one.
Asking my husband seems to bother him, but other times he is so sweet and generous about my questions for others. Private message me anytime and I will try to get some helpful answers for you., from this geek computer expert of mine.
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Bookluvr, cannot quite understand the international address dilemma. Can you shop from International sellers? Or, would a pre-paid credit card help in some way? My husband say to find someone with an APO address (military/gov't) and have your stuff sent there. He also advises to buy a new kindle, and stop shopping from private sellers who know nothing about international addresses vs. U.S. territories.
Of course, all this is over my head. Sorry you cannot get good stuff mailed to you.
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I spent several hours this morning trying to find a Kindle. I tried to order a brand new one with Amazon. Of course, I knew they won't mail it to me. International address. I finally found a Used Kindle, year 2013, for under $100.00. One time used (supposedly.) My kindle, 2012, is dimming. And freezing. I do believe it's giving signs of the death throes of an electronic device. I fervently hope that the seller is an Honest seller.

I could have ordered from Amazon and have it mailed to my sibs in the states. When I was in VA, bro offered for me to pack my stuff and his GF will mail it to me. She did not automatically second his offer. So, I got the Hint. I packed as much as I could on my 1 suitcase, and threw away all excess. Why give her my excess when she obviously didn't want to mail my stuff back? I may not say much, but I am observant. Hence I'm so torn about going next year to visit bro and GF.

Although I had so much fun, the 'dynamics' between her, bro and me is just very uncomfortable. Although, I will admit that that alone makes me want to go visit them next year! Knowing that she hates it when bro and I are close and can enjoy ourselves without her around. BUT, I want to really enjoy my vacation - and don't feel like between torn between them.

This morning, I reminded myself to Google on things to do in Colorado Springs area and Norfolk. This time, next year, I will have some goals - if they're willing - on some Free stuff one can do. Later! I have sooo much to do today...
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