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Has she been diagnosed with dementia?
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tHAnk you for the encouragement, ramiller. My mother's words about how she 'could live to be 100' because it runs in her family are with me every day. If she lives to 100, I will be almost 80-- too old and probably crazy from all of the abuse. Apologies for being so down. If only she would take a pill. So simple. But I guess she would rather torture me. I do not understand this at all.
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Anon55, I am so sorry for all you have lost, to much in such a short time. Although it may not feel like it now, remember nothing lasts forever. Sharing your feelings is a start.
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I was searching this morning for media to back up my computer and ran across hundreds of old pphotos from when my brother was alive and his son, my nephew was alive, and my nephew and brother both had motorcycles and miles and miles of open country to ride their motorbikes, and my dad was handsome and spraying his rose garden; my mother was beautiful and this was only a few years ago. My brother died in 2009. My nephew, my parents' only grandson who lived near enough to visit regularly was killed in a (new birthday present) bicycle accident in 2013. I was forced out of my job in 2013. My mother had emergency surgery in 2014 and my dad and I nursed her back to health for seven months. My dad was released from chemo in June 2015; my mother fell and broke her hip in August 2015. I was my dad's hospice caregiver, along with the rare REAL hospice visits and resented the fact that I was expected to be responsible for my dying father beyond my knowledge and experience. Now ther is just my mom and me. My mom screams at me every day. She has taken to running at me and hitting me. and kicking me if I am nearby. There is nothing I can do. No recourse. No help. No one. Nothing can be done. All of the beautiful days have turned into nightmarish hate and there are no more good days for my mom and me. No recess.
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Saw mom at the AFH today. Its been almost a week. She loves the people there but asks me when can she go home. It tears my heart out when she asks. I wish i knew what to say. Sadness has been my companion for weeks now.
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I've had that happen so many times...and it is so frustrating...because I usually forget half of what I wrote...but these days, especially if I got too wordy, I TRY to copy everything I typed before I hit "post comment" and then when I do actually hit post I hold my breath and don't move until it actually posts...sometimes it has disappeared...then I paste it and do it again and then it usually goes...It almost seems like, especially with the long winded post (of which yes I know I'm quite guilty) those many times just disappear...
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Looks like we all have had the same "NO!" experience with the comment box.
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Not an expert here at all, but color only between the lines rules apply here. If we don't stay in the box and complete our 'post comment', any backspaces or mis-type, wrong button, and our thoughts are gone!
Since I cannot easily recall what I wanted to say, that is why my posts are so short.
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I have learned - whether on the laptop, kindle and iPad, that I have to tap this box to start my post. When I do this, I Forget to move the cursor Out of the Comment box. I'm typing away and then suddenly, I must have hit the wrong key because it erases everything up to the cursor. All the sentences Before the cursor is still there. So, to avoid frustrations, move the cursor out of the box area. Also don't put the cursor on the X to close the window (yes, I've done that, too). I even once moved the cursor to those ads you see on the right of this page? And guess what? I hit the wrong key, and the cursor hit the ad, and the page goes to the ad. I scream NO - but it's too late. I hit the Backspace - and all my comments are gone.
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Hmmm, book, I wonder if that is what I do when I lose something completely. One second all I have typed is there then Voila! Tgen it is gone. And that is not a good Voila.
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I just learned something that I can do on this laptop. I was commenting on another thread and wanted to backspace/delete. I happened to double/triple tap the last word I typed and my finger slipped and dragged to the left. It Highlighted the area where my finger slipped past! Wow, that's like using the iPad. Now I don't have to keep hitting the backspace to to delete words/sentence. I can just double tap the last word and then drag my finger to the left to highlight the areas to be deleted. =)
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Thanks. I noticed my laptop is very sluggish when using Internet Explorer. I now mainly use Google Chrome. I really do appreciate the tips, JessieBelle.

I sometimes feel so sorry for my dad. I have noticed that no one talks to him for the sake of conversation. All the babysitters- sis, nieces. I sometimes wonder if that's why dad softened a bit towards me. We talk (lately he sometimes doesn't make sense) and I joke or tease him (which sometimes backfire if he forgets we're joking).
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BTW, you can transfer huge amounts of data and images to cloud drives when you first sign up. It will take a long time to complete the transfer, but you can open a second browser and stay online while the drive loads in the background. I wouldn't try video streaming while I was doing it, though. It would slow it down too much.
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Yes, copying to a cloud drive is as easy as copying to your computer. The great thing is you can download from the cloud if you buy a new computer. You don't have to spend hours transferring photos, etc., from one to another. I think about all the things lost each time I upgraded, mainly because it was too hard to transfer between systems. Now no problem as long as the cloud drives don't change in some way.
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JessieBelle, really? I never really thought of that. That's why I download onto both CD and flash drive. I once stored data in the flash drive, hooked it up the computer and discovered it was corrupted. I lost all that data. I didn't back it up with a 2nd device.

Austin, it was scary because he said it's very important to follow his instructions. If I deleted the wrong file in "regedit", I would wipe out my data and most likely will have to take it to the computer tech. I need to access mine and dad's budget worksheet and see what needs to be paid. Desperation overcame my fear and I did it very carefully. Yes, you're right. It felt so good that I did it. =)
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Book good for you fixing it yourself-I tend to wait for others to help me but have started to look things up and sometimes can actually understand the instructions and fix something myself-it is a good feeling.
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Or you can set yourself up a cloud drive online, bookluvr. Google will give you a plenty of storage space for no cost. There are other companies, e.g. Microsoft, that also give free cloud storage, but I use Google. You can get to them by typing "drive dot google dot com" and, of course, replacing the word dot with a period. It's easy to upload things into the clouds and you can reach these things with you different computers. No more having to copy from the old to the new computer. Yea!
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I DID IT !!!! I got fed up waiting for nephew to try to fix my computer. Like I mentioned earlier, I googled several websites on the iPad and found a very good YouTube instruction by Chrislenk. I'm going to email that website to myself for easy finding. Since it seems from my google search, that for some people they had this happen like 4 x in one year!

So, I replayed the YouTube several times (like 5 times) taking notes. Then another 5 times watching how he clicked this/that. So, today, I did it - using my notes and his YouTube with lots of 'pause' while I follow his instruction. And it WORKED!!!

I'm now using my laptop. From now on, I'm going to be emailing my important notes to as a protection in case this old laptop crashes. I need to also transfer my families' old photos to both the flash drive and CD. I will do that tonight.
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Pam, I remember when I first saw Princess Bride, I laughed so hard. I don't know why, but I no longer like that show. But I still remember the first time I watched it. It was just soooo funny. I'm glad that your mom can still appreciate watching a show and laugh.

Sheryl, just remember that if mom moves in with you, you will need to figure out how to discourage your mom from just walking out the door. She will most likely want to go home, day/night. Also know that she will continue to need more and more hands on help. Figure out how you're going to deal with it. Hire outside help or into an assisted living place. You know what I mean - since you're a regular now on this site. Just keep some plans B, C.

Pam, what a set up. Defeats the purpose of BIL and SIL doing their part.
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Stacy.. I am taking full advantage of this! So thank you, I know I am lucky RIGHT NOW.. but I don;t expect it last, nor does hubs. We had not had a break since mom and dad moved in , until he passed. And then we felt guilty. But Mom is perking up and my Aunt is still able, so off we go. Now if we can get back on the pass off the visiting we are good to go until one of them gets worse, and I know they will. So sometimes we take them with us.. still a bit of a break. And hubs is willing to step up when I go away, so he can go hunting. And stay "retired" But his parents are also getting worse. Even though they moved into a house they bought for BIL and SIL, hubs still gets tons of calls. tomorrow he is taking FIL to a funeral and will be gone all day... Why can't BIL do this.. he is getting a free house out of this deal! Oh yeah.. because hubs is dads fav, and BIL is moms! So I tell everyone.. get any breaks you can while you can! Take advantage of any offers out there, even it is just for a few hours!
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Today I was 'testing' moms long term memory by ralking about a trip our family went on to Destin when my sisters and I were children. Its a trip we have laughed about many times over the years because we went crab hunting on the beach at night with flashlights and of course there was lots of laughing and screaming between mom and us 3 girls! Mom didnt really remember we were in Destin...and said she thought it was New Orleans. So I know that her long term memory is starting to be affected now. I think ive got maybe a year before i either bring her to live with me, or make a decision on assisted living place which is a put a mile from me. Still not sure i could live with the guilt if i dont bring her to my house, but ill wait to make that decision once i see how she is in another 6 months. She has quite a temper now!
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pamz and 57twin, i'm so happy to finally hear that you both got a little break to recharge your batteries! You two are the 1st in a long time since I've heard anybody actually get away for a bit, so Yea!, it can be done!!!!!
Stellach, My FIL has lived with us for 11 years now, and Not once, has his other Son or Daughter ever even come to see him since their Mother funeral. but they do call, once and a while, and it always tends to stir things between my FIL and my husband who of course bears the brunt of all the care, the burden and the burnout. it always amazes me just how much chaos they can cause, with these stupid calls, as they always bring up a host of animosity, as to my husband, their calls seem to only be about "checking to really see just how close to death, their father truly is" according to my husband. so therefore, will they be receiving anything moneywise, when he does indeed pass. FIL is nearly 86, has age related decline, Diabetes, and Mantel Cell Lymphoma, which is in a wait and watch status post treatment 10 years ago, and he is a huge fall risk, to the point that he cannot be left alone for more than an hour or two. Yes, my husband is extremely bitter, but what can you do? nothing is ever going to change in regards to his siblings ever being more involved in his care, and at this point, I would feel Completely uncomfortable with either of them ever even entering my home, as I don't trust either of them, and fear they would attempt to rob us blind, they are that creepy. This dysfunction is nothing new, in the 31 years that I have been with my husband, he was the only one of the tree kids to Ever have a normal relationship with his parents, and the other two have only ever caused them pain and havoc.
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My daughter came over today and we watched the film Princess Bride with my mom.. she loved it! And we all three had a good time. A nice lazy day. And I saw the eye dr this morning.. my glaucoma is stable!
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Ladee, I changed the rooster avatar. Every time I saw it, I thought it was YOU posting! I was getting confused by my own Rooster avatar!
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Hi Sandra, it does get frustrating when they don't know what they want, but expect you to mindread the answer. My dad's appetite changes a lot. One day, he likes the Ensure milk, the next day, it's very very sweet. He can drink the Special K chocolate milk for weeks. Then one day, it's too sweet. Most recently, he accused us of doing something to the small box of milk - because it has NO taste. I figured out why it has no taste. He just finished eating a sweet banana. So of course, the milk will taste bland after that.

PCVS, I hope it's nothing serious about the blurry vision. Maybe just fatigue eyes that need a little pampering.
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Well both mom and my hubs are playing casino games on their tablets/phones... Cheaper than the casino! And I got new tires on my truck today!! All good.. except I spent what they are saving...LOL
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I was driving home after taking care of some of Dad's stuff and saw a bumpersticker:

"Have you ever stopped to think ...
... and then forgotten to start again."
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Things got really hectic. They still are but I'm feeling that at least I'm gaining some rudimentary control over some of it.

I'm also in the throes of figuring out why I am seeing double out of each eye separately.

Sigh
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sandra, it's so easy to figure out what kids want and need. We went through all the things they are going through. We can figure out what they're thinking and know what to do. But we've never been really old before. We can guess what it must be like, but since we haven't gone through the experience, we can only use our best judgment for what will help. We don't have a timeline like we do with kids. Kids wake up at a certain time and go to school. Life goes along on a certain schedule through graduation. Then it's time to wave good-bye to them as they start a new life. We don't have this with older people. Will they be here tomorrow? or ten years from now? What will they need and how will we provide it?

Oh, no. Now I've depressed myself. :(
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The answer to this question changes daily, but at this moment i am lethargic. I'm struggling to find the motivation and positive attitude I need to get back into providing the care I was giving my parents and the care they very much need. It's been a bit of a rough patch lately with some other personal issues that pulled me away for some weeks and now I'm finding it very hard to get back in my rhythm with my parents care. Even tho its so obvious the last couple times I've seen them the impact it's had on them by not being around as much. My dad is more negative and is drinking more, my mom is more confused and seems to have lost even more cognitive abilities related to eating and feeding especially. So I know how important it is to be there for them and get back on track with them but it's just sooo hard to find the drive to just do it. It's so overwhelming. I'm still sort of new at this. So often I feel helpless to do anything for them anyway. They make me want to pull my hair out. The frustration is as much for myself as them. I want to know the answers to my questions. Being a mom was so much easier. Knowing instinctively what my children needed or what was best came so naturally. There was no confusion what my role was in their life. I felt like I was right where I was meant to be at that time of my life. And during moments of exasperation my parents had my back. I don't feel any of that comfort or assurance right now caring for them. At all. Idk what my parents need and neither do they. They always knew what I needed when I went to them. Now they are looking to me and I'm letting them down.
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