This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
"International addresses are not allowed when there are digital item(s) in your cart."
Hello?!!! This is an EBOOK not a d*rn kindle, nook or some other electronic devices! Now I will have to call the 1800 number and see if I can Reason with them. {eyes rolling}
Praying Veronica heals more and more each day and feels back to her old self so soon.
Thank you Ladee for letting us know
Thinking of Veronica and wishing you a speedy recovery. Check in when you can.
Sis has been mentioning several times about finding replacements of her daughters on Saturdays with babysitting dad. Today, fave niece's husband's friend's girlfriend wants the position. They are trying to save money for a new home. She works for the gov't caregiver. I hesitated. I have explained to them that the last time I hired someone from the govt caregiver, dad complained about her to all her coworkers. He even said that she was trying to kill him. I was so stressed out that her work might fire her. Now, we have another one. I explained to niece that she must explain to hubby to tell the bf his gf of what happened to the first cg. We will see.... Oh, fave niece has a college class conflict on Saturdays. And her sister is pregnant and soon won't be able to babysit. And well, my sister doesn't want to babysit dad.
I looked at the video. Then I told my niece that they were afraid of their shadow but I made it into a game. I got up, and the ceiling light showed my shadow on the floor. I then said, "Don't you remember me doing this to your shadow and my shadow?" I then jumped on my shadow, and said, "Aha! I got you!" Then I continued stomping on my shadow. I then stopped and looked at her and asked her if she remembered us stomping on each other's shadows. And she remembered laughed and said, "Oh yeah! I remember that!"
It's been an exhausting week for me so i am sorry for not being in touch. I just finished a blog post on what we went through to get mom into rehab after a fall. It took a lot of juggling but she is finally settled and i can breath a bit today. I hope now that she is settled that i can go ahead and have my surgery, but we'll have to see how long she will be there. Posted all the details of our ordeal palcaregivers. Hope everyone takes a few moments before the day is done to remember those who have gone before us. Take care my friends. Ruth Anne
I had been finalizing my makeup and headed to work..on the way there, the second plane had struck. I felt like I went numb....by the time I got into my office at the DA's office, everyone was gathering in the conference room...no one could believe what was happening...soon after, the plane hit the Pentagon...
I remember watching the towers as the first one fell...everyone looked on in horror..some of us cried...me included...It felt like the world was ending...in fact I thought that was what could be happening...as the day wore on it just got worse and worse as we heard of the plane that had gone down in Pennsylvania....
Our office finally announced we were closing early and we were all informed we might ought to be sure we had plenty of gas as there had been reports that a lot of the transportation industry was going to be affected...and it was....I went ahead and filled up on the way home and remember the total silence ...that's one of the things I remember most...because all planes had been called in...nothing in the air...total and complete silence..people walking around looking like they were in shock...
I didn't know whether to go home to Mama's or what to do...I remember we all called each other and Mama told me to stay put, she didn't want me on the highway at a time like this...I remember we even made sure we told one another how much we loved each other...
You are right...how petty and ridiculous (and embarrassing to know that we seemingly have forgotten that horrible day) with all our current anger and hostility towards one another again...For a while after that awful day, everyone came together and became one...It frightens me to know that when we forget what happened, history tends to repeat itself....I pray that does not happen again..but I know we live in a troubled times and we need to never ever remember that day...for those who were not so fortunate, who walked out their doors to go to work or wherever and never came home again....all the first responders who were going up when those who could were coming down....and I will never forget that chaplain ...he was on a lot of the footage....even just moments before he lost his life ....stories of people holding hands and jumping to keep from burning....the horror of it all reminds me and hopefully everyone that we need to be mindful..and not forget and take what we have for granted...it can be gone in the blink of an eye......hugs to all of you today...and love...God Bless the United States of America....I love my country.
Take care,
Love, many prayers and a big cyber hug!
I have been looking for another place to live but he also closed out the account that I have been managing for the past 18 years to keep up a float.
I am lost & alone, I have contacted agencies in town with out any help.
He has become violent & has hurt me. I did call the police but he took off before they came. I do not want him in jail for it would server no one. I asked for Psychiatric care for him. I got no where.
I AM OPEN TO ANY ADVICE.
When the 1st year anniversary came, I watched all the documentaries on it. I cried a lot just watching it, seeing those who died, those who survived. Years went by. And the 1st responders were getting respiratory problems and cancer. And I couldn't believe the Red Tape the gov't stonewalled coverage - Denying that it was 9/11 that caused all these cancers/diseases. These firefighters and civilian volunteers ran towards danger to help so many. They all deserve bravery awards.
Recently, within the year, I found a video footage that I never saw before. It's the ships who came to help the fleeing people get off the island to the other side. Remember, at the time, all transportation stopped. I cried on that video, too. I posted the link on that thread I started for needing something funny in your life. It's Not funny - but it is a very touching video. Which I thought deserved to be mentioned - in case someone else was interested. I still watch that video once in a while. And I still cry when I watch it.
The one that causes me the saddest emotions - is the one where all the passengers realized what is happening via the plane phone, saying goodbyes to their family, and those who never got to reach their family and so left a message on the answering machine. How courageous they were - to bring the plane down before it did more harm to the people on the ground. This - I cannot watch. Too sad for me. You know, there was a family with their 2 kids who died on that plane.