This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Don't get too impressed yet, not until I find a job! Just really bummed today! I may end up being a bum.
I really want to get far from the maddening crowd. Austin has some positions I am well qualified for if they could just get past my last four years and realize what a difficult job it was! And I completed my Master's degree through it.
Without thinking, I pushed the seat down quickly, and slam! Could have broken it!
Why am I telling you this? Because it is a sign of cognitive decline, if one doesn't get out more, you won't remember how to use a public toilet!
Told the folks today I would gone this weekend... didn't ask, told....No problems.... they were glad I was getting to get away for two days.... but the ocean is not my thing.... after living on the coast most of my life, well, our beaches are not pretty like in Fla.... but there are tons of shops all over that island..... so you know I will be coming home with something..... lol...
Glad, have you ever thought about moving to Austin, Tx.... the job market there is unbelievable.....I don't like Houston, that 's why I didn't suggest it... Austin is beautiful, so much to do, awesome people... and you would be close to me..... think of the 'girls night outs' we could have.... something for you to think about and we have winter, sort of.... we are sitll wearing shorts and capri's at Christmas......
The best news.... J walked to the breakfast table this morning !!!! Her choice, which made it even more of an accomplishment... should have seen H's face... he got tears in his eyes....first time in over 6 months that she has walked to the table..... tears of joy.... she even got a little emotional herself...... so maybe, by God's Grace she is on the uphill climb with positive results.......
Dr's appt today for her, so off early.... need to get my stuff ready for my weekend away...... have not had any time away in almost 10 years.... wonder if I will know how to act in social situations and not be up and helping elders eat and go to the bathroom if I am in a restaurant ..... !!!!!
Love and hugs to you all.... find one thing to be grateful for today....
I was wondering about the PT coming to visit J even when she wasn't progressing. I think with my dad, the home PT came for a set number of times that is required by Medicare. When dad refused to do his exercises and to even Try To Walk with the therapist, at the end of the term, they discontinued. It's good that you mentioned this to H because I'm sure he would prefer her walking than him constantly at her beck-and-call. If she can be as independent as possible, the easier it is for everyone.
Great, you're going away for the weekend! One thing good about leaving your client - is that you Know that H can put his wife to bed. If she can walk - like you just mentioned, then he can definitely handle it by himself - with wife helping him. You all enjoy yourself. Remember to turn on your weather APP and keep track of the weather. Don't want to be caught with your shorts down. Or was that 'your pants down'..... Have fun!!! And I hope you find some great rocks, too.
So I am so sorry I haven't been on but what with having to redo everything for the solicitors etc it has been a tad manic this side of the pond xxxxx
What do you need to know recipe wise hun I will do my best
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Have you seen Hope's donkey is back?
And thank you for passing on wonderful news about Veronica! I think of her often.
My husband and I are still praying for your husband and you V.
So pleased that you are getting a room soon. Every improvement is such a milestone, you might be able to post here soon, no pressure, just get well!
Reminds me of the search for just one more hour of sleep way back when my son was born. Now, I get tired but that sleepy sleepiness even when enough sleep does not happen. Go look in the mirror, pull down your lower eyelids, are they pale? This is the old doc's test for anemia. If you cannot eat liver, go to doctor for a B-12 injection & iron. You've been so tired, for so long, maybe it is not just Dad's schedule? Let me know how you tested.
Had to get rid of the sad cow's eye, it was just a quick joke anyway.
Really like that , is it laughing at us?
Today, I did something I have been thinking about for awhile now... J will not cooperate about walking or doing any exercise.... the PT has gone out of his way to give her a few more weeks of therapy..... so today, after asking her if she wanted to walk some... and of course her answer was, not right now.... I waited until I could H alone, and told him she is never going to walk again, and if she does not start to comply with doing things when the PT isn't here, he is going to drop her... just something for you to think about... and went on about my business..... about 20 minutes later, he walked in the living room and said, 'Come on J, you are going to walk....".... she was pouty, but she did it... and then he suggested she walk every time she had to go to the bathroom and to set down for lunch... ect... so no more rides in the wheel chair today... and she was in a better mood, felt better physically, mentally more alert.... hmmm, amazing...
Will tell them tomorrow I am going out of town this weekend, getting to go meet a friend in Galveston, and guess they will have to figure out who is going to put her to bed those nights.... can't be taken advantage of if I don't them... right? Right! I sooo need a weekend away, like all of you.... will walk the beach and say prayers for all my caregiving friends.....and have you in my heart..... hugs, love, angels, and chocolate....