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I asked a qiestion about VA benefits on the VA forum. If anyone has time to check it out i could use any input. Thanks all.
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Thank you so much Ruth Ann, made me feel so good to read your words..... guess I just hesitate to share the rough days, as I have not always felt supported after I do.... but ,yes, we do have the same feelings.... one thing I am very aware of, is, I bring my own family dynamics in the door and sometimes have to work very hard for lines to not get blurred....especially if I am extra tired, or really in a lot of physical pain that day.... None of the people here now have ever even hinted that I was not supported... an awesome bunch of friends I have here on AC.... just feel uncomfortable sharing the really hard parts, as there is a distinciton between home care and paid care.... but no matter.. I truly appreciate your supportive words and can not believe you do both.... I can barley do my job and come home to a quite house..... Kudos to you RA...... extra prayers for an extra load .
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Ladee1, I personally can tell you from experience that paid or family, caregivers experience many of the same emotions. I do both, care for mom and clients. If you are with a family for sometime they can begin to take advantage of you, so do what you need to do. I know how attached you become to clients, i always do. I'm glad you are sharing here. Caregivers of all kinds deserve support!
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Sendme2help, Thank you for your kind words. My sister and I have been trying to care for her at home. We had a pretty good system worked out. She needs 24/7 supervision first 9 years she lived with me last 4 years she has been with sis. Not all those years were intense, but the last year has been. The crazy thing is she was sitting on her bed and just fell off. Went down on her knee and gashed it open. So after 12 stitches she cant move it much. Cant bring her home like this as now it takes 2 or more people to handle her. So off to rehab again. I just feel so bad for her shes been through so much this last year. But i know thats the nature of the game. Just wish like so many others that things were different. Thanks all for your support.
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I took an opportunity to tell the daughter that I am being taken advantage of and hopefully they will get someone PRN.....I had a major meltdown Fri evening.... did not share about it here, as history with that has not been good, no one wants to think a paid caregiver has their own moments...... so try to share positive outcomes......
So hopefully she heard me, and also the issue with too many people telling me what to do.... being pulled in too many ways.... and my primary concern is for H and J....can say this tho... having been thru too much in my years of caregiving, and will not bitch and complain about this situation like I have done in the past.... I will simply quit and deal with the guilt later.....that is what keeps me in situations way past my endurance, is getting attached to one of them..... so going to have to put my big granny panties on and follow thru if there are no changes......Just too old and burned out for chaos all the time....
Thanks for letting me share.... it feels so different here on AC than it did when I stopped posting about a year ago....
I feel a closeness and friendship, and honest support, that was not here then... and laughter.. so many of you have such a great sense of humor... and that gets us a long way on some days..... glad to be back... hugs across the miles and chocolate if you can get some..
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Ladee posts on previous page concerning V e r o n i c a's illness.
Still praying today too.
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Crowded, time to take care of your own medical concerns first. Do you have medical access for yourself, and for FIL's back? Get yourself in a healing environment, do you have a family member to stay with overnight, just so you can start to think this through? You have heard of 'respite' for caregivers?
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RuthAnn, so sorry your mom fell. Please do not spend even one moment of your time questioning yourself or having guilt. One could be walking holding on to the patient and they could fall. Are you okay? So glad you had your brother to help.
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My husband is main caregiver to his dad, me falling into immediate second. MY FIL was doing pretty good, then last week his back starts hurting. Just when we had him doing a little on his on. He is 82 and wants to live to 91. My husband and I are tired, feel like we are missing out on things as a couple and parents to our 3 year old. I hope things improve. I am still plagued by constant head pressure for about 18 months from a car accident, and it sure doesn't help the moods around here, but I manage. Worried about my husband.
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Sorry ya'll, no new updates on Victoria.... I have to believe no news is good news..... but soon as I hear something will post it right away...... hugs to you all.
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Thanks ladee1 I appreciate your kindness.
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Ruth Ann, so sorry to hear of latest setback..... and feeling all of the above and numb, that's normal..... at least you are going to get a small break, and I do not mean that in an ugly way, yes, you will have to advocate for her in rehab.... but you can also get some rest... regroup.....she will be ok, very happy no broken bones...... keep us updated and please try to get some rest..... hugs across the miles.
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Mom fell Saturday morning, so now life takes another huge detour on our journey. She did not break anything thankfully but she put a deep gash in her knee had to have 12 stitches and will now have to go to rehab for awhile as she will need two or three people to help her 24/7 My brother was here to spend time with her and spent most of the time in er. Not sure how things are going to play out, nervous, frustrated, anxious, tired, not sure how i feel right now, just numb i guess. Take care all. Ruth Anne
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Goodnight bookluvr, luckylu, falcon, gershen, garden artist, jessebelle, ladee, stacey, hope, jeanette, jeannegibbs, igloo, windyridge, and Veronica. And everyone else, too. Could never remember everyone like countrymouse does.
Good night CM and golden. Did anyone else change their screen name and avatar?
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Bookluvr, that is exactly right, we are here for Veronica, and hugs to you too, tonight.
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Veronica, we're all thinking of you, worried for you. Know that you mean so much to us. Just as you've been there for us, we're now there for you. Prayers to you. HUGS!!!!'
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What???? Nooooooo…!!!! Ladee M please send hugs and prayers to Veronica when you reply to her husband - he can tell her we really can't do without her.
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Prayers for Veronica...
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Ladee, you are doing a good thing. Thanks for updating everyone about Veronica.
You get some rest, well-deserved. How are you doing?
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Thank you Ladee1 we really appreciate it!
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Veronica is in very serious condition... they are going to insert a feeding tube today...... the gall bladder situation is under control.... but she is unable to eat due to swallowing issues..... I am so tired I somehow lost the email that her husband sent detailing her problems... as soon as I find it, i will try to copy and paste it here.......thank you everyone.... she needs our prayers and love.....
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Assandache...im sorry but that just made me laugh! I guess for those of us who know the caregiver life, it helps to at least try and have a sense of humor sometimes! It seems absolutely nothing is easy.
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My Mom was just trying to go to bed.. I told her she needed to eat supper.. So now she sitting here shoveling the food in her mouth.. If she chokes I want to say "serves you right"..
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My thoughts and prayers go out to Veronica. I went thru ruptured appendix in 2004. I was so sick, doc said I was a miracle I lved. I stayed in hospital for 8 days and IVs inboth arms. The pain was bad. It was a night mare. I;m so sorry she she is going thru this. I will keep on praying for healing. I never had sepsis, I don't know about that. It must be secondary infection from appendix. I got a bad kidney infection two weeks after I left the hospital, but that was all that I had from the rupture. The hospital let me lay for 24 hours and kept trying to say I had a UTI. Then they finally did the CT scan and got busy operating. Thank GOD the sergeon was at the hospital that night at 12 midnight. I was so blessed to be alive they say. Momma is stronger today, B12 shot worked. I will keep praying for Veronica. Hubby and I are better too! Hugs and prayers for all.
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Also praying for VERONICA with ruptured appendix and sepis.
Thank you Ladee for keeping us all together in community for our friend by posting updates!
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Stressed...... not sure why but it is becoming overwhelming..... pain in my shoulders, constantly doing things that are not in my best interest...over eating.... cocktails.... (not a lot).... not paying attention to my business.... getting distracted..... I am lucky at this point I don't have to do the dirty work... yet, (had to for a while) but I am sure it is coming. More than I bargained for.... Lucky I have an angel for a wife who listens to me....... Still harboring a lot of stress. How do others handle it. I know go to the gym etc..... sounds good but actually doing it is another story.
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thank you, Ladee. Updates would be very appreciated.
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I will be putting updates on this thread as I find out more about Veronica.... thanks to those who replied and I will make sure she gets all the well wishes and prayers sent...... she is one of us.... a very important part of our community..... hugs and gratitude to you all....
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Thanks, Glad for letting us know. I just got home and finished dinner, 8pm. I'll send Veronica an encouraging message and prayed to God to be with her in her time of need.
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All-
Prayers, notes and hugs to Veronica, she is quite ill appendix rupture and now sepsis
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