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Shilo, since I wasn't using the daily journal app in both the kindle and iPad, I deleted it from the devices. Fortunately, Amazon keeps the downloaded app in the cloud. So I just re-downloaded to the kindle. I'm a bit of an OCD. Therapist said try to find 5 things you're grateful daily. So I try to find 5 and then get frustrated when I can't. I will try your version - as in 1 thing a day, not 5. I'll give it a try.

FYI, fave sis has finally put aside this Saturday as our day together. I wonder if fave niece spilled the beans. I told niece that when I visit her mom, we just stay at home. I don't want to stay home on my few days off. All well, we will have breakfast at a restaurant. I'd much rather eat lunch at a restaurant. I'm craving salt and pepper pork chops. And beef broccoli. And fried rice.
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Onedoor, Hi! I can't believe it's still dragging this long! I thought it would be over by now, the court proceedings. Thanks for updating us. Sad that siblings would do that. We see it all the time here on AC. Too bad, because you have always been trying to do what's best for your mom.

I don't know why I thought my siblings would be the exception. I had a rude awakening when mom died. Felt betrayed. Still do at times.
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Court?! One door! Yes I know. Been there, and same story, I did all the work including keeping mom at home. Mom has assets, sibs did not want to pay me with their eyes on the inheritance prize. Court ordered I be paid, so the reason for the move, sibs had to sell the house to pay attorney, conservator and guardian fees. They should have to pay every bit back to my mom!
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glad, so sorry you are not in the loop. I tried to keep my siblings in the loop until my lawyers told me to stop...now I will be court demanded to communicate iwth them once a month. some very demeaning things will happen when our settlement is worked out but I couldnt fight it any more. I am angry that I am the one who is doing all the compromising and they are just sitting at home doing their own things and living the same life they have always lived. the only thing they want to have is my parents' money! I have my mom close by in a facility and it was her choice long ago never to live with me (we actually talked about it before she ever had dementia/alz). good luck with losing the habit..it is a mean thing!
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One door, I sort of remember. My mom was recently moved to a facility, poa decided it would be cheaper for mom there than at home. HA! But, it was time, after four years I was just plain tuckered out. Great that you are taking better care of yourself, hoping to lose the cigarette habit myself soon. And I too, when it is done, it is done, no reason to ever contact my siblings again. In fact we are nearly there now, as I am not kept in the loop at all with what is going on with mom.
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Book, have you considered beginning your gratitude list once a week maybe at the end of the week just to get yourself started. Once a day seems like much to do with your schedule. After you get it started you might find yourself picking it up just as easily as you do a reading book. Just a thought....
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hello all! I am not even going to guess how long I have been absent from here..a long time.... still dealing with same sibling issue that I had before...Book and Ladee Yall may remember....hopefully it is finally going to be over in a few months... I am worn out but still caring for my mom. She is doing well...still able to walk with a walker, still recognizes me and calls me by name when I walk in the door, still converses with me but doesnt remember the conversation 5 minutes later. She doesnt remember that one of my siblings came to visit her last weekend (first time in 5 months) and she doesnt recognize the other one...why would she, she doesnt come in town but once a year...maybe! anyway, we continue on with what we do, I am so blessed to have her nearby. I have started taking better care of myself in the last few months. I am walking 4 miles a day, eating better and slowly taking off some of the 50 pounds I need to lose. I have not had a cigarette in 2 years mid August. I am going to a monthly caregivers support group. My sisters are now my dear friends and sister in laws who have supported me thru my whole ordeal with my blood siblings. When my mother is finally gone, we will have no reason to speak to each other again and that will be a relief!!!
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Book, my gratitude list, if I were to try to put one together, would start with you and all of my AC friends, followed by my children and their families, my companion and shadow golden retreiver, then not sure where I would go from there. Probably even grateful that I am the sort of person that could provide the care for my mom for so long. Lord knows I would rather be one that can than one that cannot.
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No, I won't ask you. You, my former therapist and others encourage it. I even bought a notebook to write it down. That didn't work. So I went and downloaded a daily journal app. My problem is that I'm not grateful enough to come up with 5 things to be grateful for. After struggling a few nights, I gave up. I know it's a way of seeing things. The half empty or half full perspective.

Talking about your care receivers, I couldn't help couldn't help compare with dad. He had a stroke, too. He keeps calling sis to do his every bidding. Recently, if he's left alone, he will keep calling out for someone. When I pop in to ask what he wants, nothing. I go back to the kitchen to continue my meal. He goes back to calling.

Sun rise changed position. 6:30 am and it's getting bright in here. No more late mornings pretending to be sleeping.
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CM, without a doubt, there is more anxiety..... as she is not able to always speak plainly about what she wants or needs.... tho I have been with her long enough to get the idea.... but I really think she has always been this way with her husband....she can be so demanding, like if I am trying to tell him or ask him something..... everything must come to a stop until she is addressed by her husband... guess part of my issue with it, is seeing how worn out he is.... and how his own health concerns get lost in the cracks because of her constant demands..I did encourage him today to tell one of his daughters about a health issue he is having..... he just looked surprised, and said, think I should say something? He is so used to her always being front and center, he neglects his own health... story of the life of a spouse caregiver.... he had been her 'caregiver' until her stroke.....
And besides CM, you know I have to find something to b*tch about.... lol.... but I do encourage him to go play dominoes with his friends... she is like your mom.... always asking.... but I try to get her sidetracked and busy with something else to think about....

Book, now ask me if I am surprised you have not started that gratitude list....???

Ok, got off half a day and need to go do laundry..... hugs to everyone....
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Ladee M, I wonder if there's a heightened sense of fear that goes with all the post-stroke upset? I used to overhear my mother continually asking the caregivers where I was - they came in for an hour at suppertime to help her eat and give me a break to cook our evening meal. The experienced professionals (like you) would reassure her and carry on, but there were others who - d*mn and blast it - would come and get me every time, which kind of defeated the entire object of their being there when it was for only one hour.
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Ha! Since you last left here, I was still promising myself to start that Grateful list at the end of my day. I still haven't done that. Not even mentally. I lie down, and conk out. I can try to do one tonight. I'm grateful that I still have my health - mentally and physically.

We have a new program that is about the cancer Survivor's stories. I finally saw the show last night - Episode 3. I was torn about watching it. I'd much rather not think about cancer. Two of the guys are young. Younger than me. One of them had severe stomach pains for months. His doctor just couldn't find what was causing the pain. As a last resort, the doctor referred him for a colonoscopy. He has cancer.

At the end of the show, they brought up the statistics. The cancer rate in the US mainland is going down. The cancer rate on this tiny island (you can driver 40mph around the island within 1 hour without stopping at the scenic views or the beaches) has gone up. Last year, it was a person dying of cancer every 3 days. This year, it's now one person dying every 2 1/2 days.

Cancer is the 2nd leading cause of death on this island. Of the cancer, the top 3 culprits is: Liver, Lung (we have a higher rate of smokers per capita than the Mainland) and Colorectal.

And now I know why my doctor told me that next year I'm going to have a colonoscopy. I said, "Nope, I'm not." She said that I have until next year before we have a discussion on this. Now I know why she insists.

A client's runner dropped of a check in our office. As he was walking out, he stopped and said that I lost some weight. I know for a fact that I've not because I'm consistently either 100 lbs or 104 lbs. I have been struggling with the midnight 'snacks' which is in actuality another full dinner meal (not a snack.) Before my trip, my stomach was growing - that I looked pregnant. After my trip, my tummy went down. So, when he said that I lost weight, I looked at my body. I then looked up and said, "It's my stomache, isn't it?" He looked at me sheepishly - and nodded. And did a quick exit. {{chuckling}}
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I have always worked with folks with Alz.... am now working with a lady who has had a stroke... personally, I would rather work with someone with Alz....She is making amazing progress with the aphasia and her body strength, but here comes the 'bitching' part.... this lady is sooooo needy.... not with me, at times she resents my very presence in her home, but with her poor husband..... poor guy is exhausted from having to be present for her......I am a strong independent woman, so this neediness is sucking the life out of me.....but then those that know me, know I didn't really want to be doing this again... if not for such a great family, I know I would just pick up my purse and walk out the door....
For the most part, I like this job.... the family is great....lots of laughter and no squabbling among the sibs....they hug and kiss each other... I know folks, these families REALLY do exist..... I finally get to see one in action....Mr H is wonderful.... 90 yrs old and from strong German stock... looks 70, and has pep in his step..... but am learning to deal with J...... walking out of the room works for me...... she gets it and calms down..... the family is really good to me, and vice versa, and of course I am good to J, I can get her to laugh when she untightens her butt hole...Life is too short to be upset all the time... I am going to be dead longer than I will be alive, so making the best of it is what I am doing.... have missed ya'll, but needed a respite from all the sadness on here... had a bucket of my own..... Love ya Ms V.... !!!!! Hope everyone finds one tiny thing to be grateful for today.... love, hugs, angels and chocolate.
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CM damson gin is easy to make - damson gin sugar lay on side and turn daily till sugar is absorbed drink damson gin make a very exciting crumble with damsons - sorted!
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TG I grow basil to sell and have lots so I make basil salt. I think it's a food network recipe. I also julienne but in ice cube trays with olive oil and freeze so I have some handy to add to sauces.
My dad always has a ton of napkins in his room as he must take them when he is done eating.
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TG, he's not going to turn into a Domestic God overnight, you know. Hee. I remember my father claiming that damson wine was easy to make and delicious. It's certainly an interesting colour, but not necessarily one you'd want to decorate your kitchen with.

It's just a thought. Know of any single ladies he could learn to impress the socks off, so to speak? It would give him a motive to don apron and rubber gloves and become a genuine master chef instead of all talk.
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Frustrated! Dad moved in a year ago, it has been an adjustment for all of us. My beautiful wife has been so good about this. Lately he has been getting better, so much so he is getting more comfortable. Mom and he used to can tomatoes, jelly fruit etc... He would grow the tomatoes and she would can, they would pick fruit and she would can.... get the jist?

So I poo pooed the idea of the garden in my new yard this year. It would cost me financially to put it in (Wood, dirt, fertilizer, fence to keep the deer out, me weeding, tilling, watering..... but he would grow the tomatoes.... then we would can them.... (Oh his "we" is "me and my wife"). So I nixed that one.
He loves to drive to go no where or just drive 20 miles to get fruit then say "its not as good as home" (or insert anywhere else in the world)....
My wife is making jelly today, something she has not done before but wanted to try some basil jelly since we have a lot of basil in our container herb garden. So dad comes right out to the kitchen and asks"if I pick blueberries will you make me jelly?" My wife diplomatically refrains and changes the subject.... but dad says "mom and I used to can all the time, its easy"..... Yeah by meaning mom used to do it while he watched TV.....
Last night I am making roasted chicken for dinner... "Oh. you read my mind, I wanted chicken with stuffing".... I replied, "I made with without stuffing". It was dinner for us not dinner for him...
I get it he is lonely but no where does he lend a hand except he will help clear the dishes from the dinner table. He can cook quiet well but wont because my rule in my kitchen is you make it you clean it up.....
I love my dad but he loves to be catered to. We will be glad to make him something he likes but he loves to say "I really could go for an apple pie", promptly buys the apples, sits them on the counter and waits for us to make him a pie... aarraagghhhhh!
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Jude That is your first wish aye? Thought is might be something like that! Of course, Mr. Genie will be all those things if you so desire. If he is like my brother - mark the bottle with a circle, put an X through it and send it out to sea or down a never ending pit. You know one of those poison markings.
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If he happens to be tall male strong loving sensitive in a masculine way and very protective then send him over - if he resembles Jeannettes brother - put the cork back in quick! Oh and good looking and a lover of fat people would help! Single would be good too!
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Jude hang in there. I know lately you have had some long difficult days and nights. I am sending you your own genie in a bottle. Use your imagination when it arrives!!!
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Thought I was on the ever valuable WHINE THREAD. How am I doing?
"Awfully fine for the state I'm in.
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Sadness and then light, welcome back Ladee.
Reminders everywhere of parents who passed long ago, my own anger has kept the sadness at bay, lost track of how long ago that 1971 and 1988 was. I too, loved my Dad, my always absent Dad. Maybe I never gave Mom enough credit for the frustration she went through, but tried to console myself with the thought: She did the best she could with who she was at the time.
Even sadder, that consolation has worn out, and I now understand narcissists better.
Jude, sorry , my Dad died of C also, so did Mom. Thanks for sharing.
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Sad to say that about this time 17 years ago Dad passed away, finally losing his battle with the Big C. It's a long time but I still miss him like yesterday just now I think of him only with love not the anger that he left me - he didn't of course but it felt like that. I still miss him terribly but no grief just absolute adoration for a wonderful man. If you're looking down Dad ....just want to say I'm coping hun xxxxx
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You wouldn't have been intruding but that was very thoughtful of you....ya, Texas has has it's share of bad news this year... the floods were horrible... they are still cleaning up... and the Biker thing....we still aren't getting a clear picture of what happened...... but since I rode Harleys for over 20 years, I find it hard to believe that those groups got together with the intention of it ending the way it did...... we may never know......
Thanks for all the wonderful hugs, and sending them back to you..... with love, angels, and you know, the requisite chocolate..... !!!!
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Ladee Caught that with one hand tied behind my back. It is much needed and appreciated...THANK YOU! I should have already started looking for work myself but have only started practicing my typing...lost my speed. I hate the thought of interviews and cover letters, etc. The thought of going through that again just makes me want to go back to sleep. Anyway, I missed giving you some hugs this past year trying to respect your privacy and all. Even when Texas had the problem with the biker gangs I thought of reaching out to say hello but thought better of it. So here's a few hugs... {{{{{{{{LadeeM}}}}}}}}
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Shilo... ha.... have to be an 'old timer' to get the 'chocolate' reference !!!! Ya, I really really did not want to still be caregiving but here I am.....I think God knew this family needed to be exceptional for me to do it again and HE delivered...... pay is decent, hours are long, but it is what it is.....so, will be checking in once in awhile.... surely I can find something to bitch about here soon !!! and lots of CHOCOLATE to ya !!!!
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Good to hear from you Ladee! I commented on the "whine" thread about missing chocolate but no one really understood what I was saying. Then most started discussing all the different chocolates...funny. I thought some would get it because they post on this thread too. I was going through too much and never got to explain but everyone was having fun with it. You Ladee are such a good caregiver. They are difficult to find but they are out there. That family is blessed to have you.
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Book, sorry to hear nothing has changed.... did you cut your hair??? Been in a bad depression myself for a few months , so I understand....know you are loved and thought about sweetie.... lots of love and hugs
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I miss you, too, Ladee. I've been thinking of you off and on. I figured you will come back when you're good and ready. Every time I read about rain storms and flooding, I think of you. I'm so glad to hear from you. {{{{HUGS}}}

Same old stuff. Strange, I haven't been posting much until recently. I was mostly reading. Just a few days ago, I started posting. It has to do with depression. Tired. Midnight. My short hair is still wet. So, I'm going to my bedroom, sit in front of the fan to help dry it faster. Night.
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Hey everyone.... haven't checking in a long time.... just came out of a deep depression and did not want to do caregiving again...... too much loss...my last client was such an awesome, beautiful lady.... love her very much and didn't get enough time with her....but am caregiving again, and have a great family and am just doing what I do.....
Book, have missed you so much..... happy to see you are still here.... many new folks here.... hello to you all.....
Hang in there, we are members of a club we never wanted to join, but at least we have each other.... love, hugs, angels and chocolate.
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