This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Glad, when the Japanese invaded our island, they enforced a 'Japanese' speaking only. From what I understand, if you don't want to be punished, you'd better learn their language fast. My mom never spoke of those hard times. But I heard from a relative that she was slapped several times. My dad one time mentioned our people digging the hole, then told to kneel in front of the hole, and then have their heads chopped off with the machete. My dad also spoke of the time when the Americans were bombing the island, to take it back from the Japanese. He said that our people were marched from the concentration camp to isolated areas. When our people realized what was going to happen, they decided that trying to escape was a better chance of survival than following to the end - which was a sure death. My dad was one of those who realized this, as a teen, and fled into the jungle. He said that he thought one of his friends who also fled was hit by a bullet and must have died. Oops.... sorry... getting off topic here... What I was trying to say is that, after being freed from the Japanese, the Americans took over. All the schools - were mandatory English only. I guess our parents carried over this discipline in the home.
In my case, I would like to learn the language of my ancestors, but that is going back 125 years to when they immigrated to this country. It was one of the top priorities of my great grandparents to speak English in the home; their children to grow up in an English speaking home. I have only one relative that knows the language of Norway and that is only because she took many, many college level classes to learn it.
Times sure have changed!
The rule for autos is that when your repairs cost more than the payments for a new car it is time to get a new one.
Okay, due to the auto expense of last year and my tires, I have spent $1200.00. I've had to touch my emergency savings. Thinking long and hard, making a decision - which resulted in my feeling very depress today, I have decided that I cannot go on a trip this summer. My tax refund will replenish what I've touched.
Last week, a client came in, and started to talking to my boss' wife and me in our native language. I like 10% understand what he's saying. In the past months, so many have been speaking to me in our native language. And I was too ashamed to tell them that i don't understand. I've had - in the past - Several people tell me, "Shame on you! For not knowing your language! No Excuse that your parents never taught you. No Excuse." Unfortunately, growing up, we always knew when our parents were really angry - was when they started to cuss in our language. other than that, it was English only household.
I've been searching our local bookstores looking for CDs or DVDs on learning our language. Tonight, I was watching our local channel, when they had a show teaching us the language. Except, they spoke sooo fast, I got lost fast. So, I googled it. Previously, I googled using 'CD or DVD'. Tonight, I just googled without it. Bingo!!!
I have watched 2 YouTube videos. Speaking our language is like speaking in tongue twisters. My tongue just cannot roll the 'r's or multiple pronunciation of one word. I have replayed the video over and over, even in slow motion. finally gave up, and asked sis. She told me - so fast for my ears - I asked her to write it down. Even reading it - is so difficult for me to pronounce it. "Kumekelekna". I gave up..
and went to counting up to 20. So easy. Uno, dos, tres, kuatro, singko, sais, siette, ocho, nuebi, Dies, Onse, dosse, tresse katotse, Kinse, disisais, disisiete, disiocho, disinuebi and bente. sigh... But counting isn't much for learning one's language. So, I will now go change dad's pamper, and google some more....
FYI, after I posted in that spam thread, I reported myself...so that admin will know it's spam.
It's great that you and your father can still chuckle over things like wearing the shirt inside out. It does sound like pretty soon your father is going to need someone to be there with him. Either that, he's so stressed out, that he's forgetful. // I'm also sorry about your mom. And most of all, I am soooo glad that your siblings are helping out. That's so rare to read here on Agingcare. Kudos to you and your siblings.
They are rather predictable since they don't tend to come out until after 12 am eastern standard daylight savings time. Well, I see it is time for another night for fighting the spammers!
We have enough to deal with apart from these spammers.
The property we bought next door has water in the garage not all from melting snow. Grrrr"........
My father came down at night with his shirt both inside out and backwards, this got us both laughing. The next night he came down with only one slipper on. When he spilled the lemonade he used the foot without the slipper to wipe it up with the paper towel. It was midnight or so at that time and I had just finished cleaning the kitchen and putting out the trash a few minutes before. The night and day before the talking fire alarm went off numerous times until my father finally pulled it off the wall. All this while my bedridden mother tried to sleep through the noise in the room next to the kitchen and tell me that I could just sleep in her bed if I was too tired to go upstairs. I had to smile at her kindness as she also invited all of the care takers that stopped in during the storm to stay over as well.
My mother is on hospice and my father is her primary care giver. I stay over at their home 4 nights per week, my sister stays twice, and my brother once. My father's desire to provide for my mother and his desire to not burden myself and his other kids far outweighs his ability to fulfill that desire and at times he doesn't recognize that. He therefore does more than he should and then later pays the price in pain and lost sleep. It is bitter sweet as I watch at times with frustration and at times with sadness the decline that is happening before my eyes.
One spammer who had posted two threads of spam tried to claim one of them was not spam.. Not!
I haven't been on here much lately and I won't be rushing back. Who has time to weed though all the spam?
Another airline got fined by DOT for not being transparency. They must include itemize the exact cost of the tickets, how much luggage permitted and any cost for checked baggage.
We also received email alert from one airline warning about electronic devices being properly charged, especially when going through TSA. From the national news, terrorist will try to smuggle bomb on-board through their electronic devices. They advised the public to ensure it's charged.....
Whatever... I will follow the wife's instruction. Repeatedly, She is the one who told me to stop putting in our itinerary the penalty info, the checked baggage dimensions and weight restriction and cost per bag. I felt bad when a client came back from travel and complained that I was Not Specific on how much the checked baggage would cost. From here to west coast, she paid $70. Few days later, she flew to DCA, paid $30 for first bag and$25 for 2nd bag, etc... by the time she completed her trip, she had paid a lot on checked baggage..which her company did Not include in her per diem of travel cost for hotel, meals, etc... whatever... it's their business, their livelihood.
Thank you Karma...
Is your sister that disconnected from real life....that she'd take out 5 liners from the trash bag? Have you told her you intend to do this?
When you've written about "devices being charged," are you talking about
cell phones? In any case........even though your bosses don't sound like they're
easy people to work for, giving notice of this does sound like when you've said too much. Telling people about a penalty, in terms of the way people look at advertising could be looked at in a negative way, In other words, your place of business is supposing the worst. If you as an employee are doing this, for people who don't like that style it could also drive away business from bosses travel agency. Even if you don't agree with them, also remember they are your boses.
I want you to keep your job. That's all.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
didn't have enough of them, so added some fresh mango. It came out pretty good for my first attempt!
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
But that does sound yummy.