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Thank you Herbalizer... He has a degree, and we used to own a construction company. He retired from that several years ago and spent 2 years helping his parents sell a farm, etc... until he got bored and our daughter was about to start college. Then he got a job he enjoyed. It was sold a year ago to a big company. They agreed to keep all the employees on for a year... guess that time is up as several have left or been let go... My problem now is he wants to take a few weeks off ( he never took vacations or sick days) and do some things around the house.. regroup... We were OK before, and in better shape now ( some cash to carry us over for awhile) But my parents live here now.. mom is still sharp and she is in full "fix it" mode.. this morning (day 2 post layoff) she wants to know what we owe on everything.. what can get paid off.. This is stressing me more than Caregving!!!! I already put the part time CG on hold...at Moms request I know my hubs,,, the more you push him the more he wont do it! I can;t worry about this every second of every day.. and she is gonna make me crazy!! I've been panicy all day, and I don;t need to be! I have a decent job, and the folks will help... But I have a feeling Hubs will blow a gasket if she keeps harping in this! He has not even told his folks yet... more fun to come!
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I heard this story in the radio last week. As background information, our island is close to the equator, so it's always hot outside. Construction workers, roadside workers and maintenance workers cover up as much skin as possible. Long sleeves, long pants and a cloth wrapped around the face/neck.

An islander was at one of the hotel's swimming pool. She struck up a conversation with a visitor from the Mainland U.S. who is visiting our island for the first time. As they were talking, the woman suddenly became quiet and watched this man, covered all up except for his eyes showing, pass by the pool area.

She turned and whispered to the local, "Is he a terrorist?"
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Brandy - POA is pushing your buttons. It's very very important to not show POA that he/she has hit the mark. You know how POA was while growing up. Most important, POA's actions Today is reflecting that same character. Like someone one said (most likely therapists, too), don't take in their view of you - as your own. (Something like that.) Like Veronica said, remind yourself that how he/she's viewing you is the way he/she views self but subconsciously. POA may fool oneself in the conscious mind - but not the subconscious one. Don't let those barbed arrows hit their marks on you. Remind yourself how you were and are today. Remind yourself how POA was at childhood and Current actions. {{Hugs}}
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Brandywine dry your tears. Have you heard of "projection"? I suspect she is the one who is evil.
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Update: POA contacted me today and said some ultra nasty, mean, vile things. I have been crying all afternoon. Crying and crying. I just went to my psychotherapist on Thursday and I thought I was doing pretty well. Now this. POA said all these years since the day she was born I have been evil. She didn't want to say anything up until now but now she says this. She said I was evil even when I was a child. Come on. I was nice then and am still nice.
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So sorry to hear about your husband losing his job. How frightening especially the older we get. We went through that a time or two ourselves, my husband and I. One time, we worked at a place together--he got let go and on the same day I got a raise. (Awkward). I'm praying your husband will get another, better job. We both went back to school and got better jobs. Any way your husband could go back and get training or a degree in something he'd like, that has a high hiring rate?
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Brandy.... {{HUGS}}

Today, my car air con completely died - as in not even any air blowing in. Bro-in-law followed me to the air con shop that did his car. They only charged me $255.00. I say only - because the last time I had the air con fixed, the dealership said it was $1300-some. Fortunately I had extended warranty - which did not show in my record - until the guy scrolled and scrolled and found it. So, they ended up paying for that $1300-some repair. It seems that Corollas' air con switch tends to break easily. All my car needed was to replace the switch. The guy asked me if I thought that $255 was too much. In my head, I did. But I think $255 is much better than a $900 to $1300 repair bill. Ahem... every time I take the car in for air con repair it never ever is below $900. Fave sis says that the repair people see 'female' and then sock it to me with the cost. Hence Bro-in-law coming with me to the air con shop. He even came with me to pay for the repair. The guy gave him my car key so that Bro-in-law can inspect it. It sure helps a lot when a guy goes with you to the repair shop!!! Plus bro-in-law already inspected my car and he even told me what he thought it was the switch. The air con shop came up with the same diagnosis. =)

I'm so behind in the online dementia course. I haven't finished watching the videos from wk1 nor have I had time to read the reading materials.

I have soooo much more fun learning on that other course "learning how to learn." Such an interesting concept - Chunk and Chunking. I'm still struggling with the concept. But, man, from what I read from others, it seems that the business world talks about Chunks. And now they know what their colleagues are talking about! I've never heard of it until now.....
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I am having a lot of problems with the POA. I am sitting here very angry about her newest behavior. I think she is on AC so I can't go into details.
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Thank you all!
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Hi Pam.. losing a job is always very stressful. Finding another job is even more so. Yes, it's always good when there's other incomes that can help support the household until you find one. I, too, hope he's able to find another job. Or worse case scenario, to reinvent himself.
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Pam, I am so sorry. Your poor husband -- I know he feels terrible. We're pulling for the two of you. Some things just aren't fair. I hope he finds another job soon.
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Well, not my happiest day. Hubs lost his job today. We went through this a few years ago when he had a medical problem.. so we will get through it, and my folks live here now and will help.. but it sucks! Not gonna be so easy to find another at our age.. on the bright side.. Maybe some stuff will get done around here...LOL. Keeping the hopeful thoughts going.. have a few for us! we are gonna take a few weeks to regroup and figure things out...
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I forgot to add...this is the second night in a row in which I woke up to the smell of dad's poop wafting in the air. This usually means that he touched it and some of the poop is outside.
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Hi Jim. What your MIL(mother in law) is doing would drive me crazy. My dad says that I'm too picky. I can just see myself wiping down everything she touched with wipes, spray with Lysol, etc... I've slowed down a bit but not to extent like Jessiebelle. =)

On Thursday, I went to one of those evening business meetings. This time I sat on the table with funny people. The last time I sat with them, they spoke the whole time in their Filipino language. The whole time. I thought it was rude, being we're not in the Philippines and knowing I don't speak the language. That night, they slipped but still kept to English. The other table ordered a whole bottle of wine. Our table just had ice tea. And my table mates were hilarious. I have never laughed so hard in public. When I saw the camera man's camera right at my left side face, I immediately stopped laughing, turned to him and smiled. (Ahhhh.. I've seen him in action. He will be up close until you acknowledge the camera!) I had a great time.

Past few days, I've been so exhausted. Even putting the kindle off the bed at night, I'm still waking up tired. I don't think I'm doing that deep RAM sleep. Later...
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Jim, it is exasperating at times. I had to lower my idea of what I consider clean. My mother also has a haphazard way of washing dishes. She has gotten a little better. She used to consider rinsing the food off dishes as washing them. Now she does wash them in warm, soapy water, but she often misses food on them. If they are too bad, I put them back in for another wash. If they are not so bad, I just wipe them. I don't want to frustrate her when dishwashing is one of the things she can still do.

Bathrooms and the kitchen -- I used to like them clean. Now they are okay if they are clean enough. My mother can be like going behind Pig Pen of Snoopy, with little bits of trash and food here and there. I don't get upset with it anymore, but just try to keep things clean enough.

I would worry about her doing things like heading to the oven. Poor dear. I know she just wants to help. I am glad you were there to stop her before she burnt her hands.
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My wife and I are the care givers for her mother. All the things I am reading here are what goes on in our home. Many days the bathroom looks like a war zone . Hand washing has gone out the window and it's only done if we happen to be near. My mother in law is fixated with the kitchen. She wants to set the table and do dishes. We don't let her as her hands are not clean. This usually leads to anger on her part for not letting her do what she wants. If we turn our back for a moment she is at the sink. Her version of dish washing is to run the dirty stuff under water,rub at the food residue with her fingers and put it in the cabinet. We are stressed to the max. The hand washing or lack thereof and the kitchen consume our day. She paces from her room to the kitchen. My wife has given her little projects to do. She won't do them and always heads for the kitchen. Last night she overheard my wife on the phone talking to our daughter and my wife said I have to hang up to get something out of the oven. My mother in law comes flying into the kitchen ,opens the oven door and goes to take the item cooking out of the oven bare handed. Lucky I was there to stop her. It is exhausting.
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I have an observation upon hearing the latest news of this former NFL who was fishing by himself last week in Florida. He said that he fell off the boat and it took him 16 hours to swim to land. I've never been in Florida, in this time of the year. But here on island (near the equator - so our island's sun must be hotter than Florida?), even as a child who spent hours on the beach on holidays, we get sunburned just with 8 hours on the beach and/or under the shade. I have gotten sunburns that made me super red (heat emanating from my skin) and in a week, my skin would be peeling.

I watched this man in the news. He is white skin and I saw no red sunburn on him. Now, I know for a fact, that I have gotten sunburned while playing in the ocean waters (mistakenly thought the water would protect me from the sun - Nope!) And I'm talking about within 8 hours. This man was in the ocean for 16 hours.

I have seen lots of Japanese walking around with super red skin. Ouch!!! The front of them is super red (reminds me of lobsters) and their backside is their normal white skin. (Guess several someones fell asleep while tanning under the sun!) Maybe I missed something? Like this time of year, the sun is not as hot in Florida as here in the Pacific?
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Onedoor – I will also wait until ‘Still Alice’ book goes down to $0.01 + $3.99 shipping. I rarely buy books over $6.99. I can wait.

Glad, it shows that Julianne Moore may have did her part for the sake of acting. It did not reach her heart. I think if it had, she would have mentioned at least a teeny tiny bit on Alzheimer. Too bad. I was watching a documentary. One actor’s role involved a person dealing with the ghost/spirit of the Japanese samurai. He went to Japan and started researching it. He met a man who knew a lot about spirits. The Japanese man warned him before giving him information that by reading these materials, and hearing about it – he was going to be opening himself to the spirit world. He really wanted the info for his role, so he was given the materials. Sure enough, he got visited, etc…. He admitted that since then, he has been experience extra stuff that most people are not aware of. I wonder if he ever regretted it?
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48margee, my condolences on your mom. I’m so glad that when my mom passed away that all my siblings were home. Older sis and SIL did all the arrangements with mom’s funeral. My brothers cleared out mom’s stuff (oxygen machine, trache, suction machine, etc…) so that I didn’t have to do it. 2 years later and I still refuse to sleep on her hospital bed here in the livingroom. Fave sis doesn’t understand why. I just say it’s because she died on that bed. I just cannot lay on it. It’s sad that you don’t have someone to help you. {{Hugs}}

caroljean, sorry to hear about your husband. Yep, I can see how caregiving has aged my looks a lot. I used to get lots of compliment of being mistaken for a teenager. Now, I don’t. I guess all those crazy gray hair is a giveaway. And I’m not even yet age 50. Yes, it is time to take care of yourself. {{Hugs}}
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Thinking of Julianne Moore's acceptance speech at the Golden Globes last night for her portrayal of a 50 year old linguistics professor who is diagnosed with early onset. You know Julianne did noy even mention Alzheimer's in her acceptance speech?! So disappointed with that. I usually do not watch award shows, but, and this is very different for me, and I actually was rooting for a movie. Never did that. This year was different solely because of the public awareness opportunities that will be faised, then having an impact on research dollars.
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Book, when I went to visit my mom today, they had anannouncement sign for a book club...first book is to be "Still Alice"!!! I will keep you posted! And we got the results of culture today...mom definately has uti! Not sure how excited I am that I can recognize it so easily!ugh!using my kindle for this and i don't like to type on it! My kindle gets turnedoff at bedtime BUT not the tv! I know that's bad but its a habit!
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48margee, i am sorry for your loss. I also care for my mom and can't imagine what I will do when she is no longer here. But now, you need to do something for yourself. Give yourself permission to enjoy yourself some.
CarolJean, i am sorry for your loss also. I have a friend who lost her husband this summer. She is just a few years younger than you and took care of him at home and then in a care facility. She is now in the process of redining herself! Take up a hobby that has interested you, join a senior center, find a group who is involved in helping others (you already have experience there!) But begin by takingcare of yourself!
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I was a caregiver for my husband for about 1 1/2 yrs at home and also, when he was in a Care Center for 1 1/2 yrs. I spent every afternoon with him, taking him home when I could, then eating dinner with him at the Care Center. I never missed a day. I wanted to be there for him every day. He passed away 9/18/14 and I find that I've grown much older during those months and didn't realize it. I didn't have the time to think about. I miss him so much but know he's in a better place. Now I have to take care of myself. I'm learning that the age of 81 certainly has some limitations but life is for the living and we have to live it. God bless all of us.
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Not good here, lost Mom on Dec. 30th. Been very busy since, had to remove all of her belongings from her apt, close out her accounts and make arrangements. Not what i thought the New Year would be.
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Onedoor, I don't have the patience to watch a movie. I've been meaning to write that Alice title down and see if there's a book. I read the books when I'm eating meals, in line at the store or post office, etc... I do Not read before bedtime because it makes me more awake and can't put the book down. Or if I'm tired, what I read before sleeping - I have no memory of what I read the next day.

Mary Summer Rain - Love Never Sleeps, Living at Home with Alzheimer.

Another book recommended to me but I find a bit expensive, so I'm waiting for someone to sell their unwanted book in eBay or Amazon...book of illustrations..
Fox Chast- Can't We Talk about Something More Pleasant?

Can't stay long. Sleeping with the kindle off the bed, I feel more refresh when I woke up. Time to start my day....
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Book, I do the same thing. Wake up because I need to use the bathroom, then lay there just wanting to go back to sleep. Instead check out my tablet, then get going reading stories here. I have started to try to just get up, go to the bathroom, do not open the tablet, and am usually able to get back to sleep.
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Book (and everyone else!), since I am on here so little, I missed a conversation you must have had about books on alheimers or caregiving. I noticed you and ??? (someone else cant remember who), posted yesterday about some books to read. something about Rage, maybe? are there others that would be good. I have heard that the one that they made into the movie (Still Alice?) is good but havent ever gotten it.... should I?
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FYI, I have found that I sleep better without the kindle next to me. I've gotten into a bad habit of waking up and peeking on here to see what's up. Tonight, I will keep the kindle off the bed....
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I could only watch an 8minute video. couldn't even watch the 2nd one - 5 minutes. Too tired. It's not entering my brain.

Rereading a chapter does not impress the info in your head. Best to read all titles, subtitles, charts etc. l then highlight sparingly. One per paragraph. Read. Stop and look away, try to recall the main points. I've doing everything wrong. Time to sleep. Too tired. midnight..
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Had a pretty good last few days but had to miss dad's happy hour Friday due to a wedding. His AL has diarrhea going around but he was one of the lucky ones not to get it. Stopped in today to show him the pictures I took at the Packer game yesterday. The residents watch the gamesin the living room with a half time party!
Need to find some indoor places I can take dad on the weekends to give him a bit of change in his routine.
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