This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
I have, ever, had results from leaving my contact number and asking in my nicest and sweetest voice if the doctor could possibly give me a ring 'when he's not too busy.' It varies, of course. With some of them it'd be easier to get hold of the Dalai Lama.
57twin, the little girl your father recognises is still you. He's just gone back a bit. Would it help to think of him as he was then, too? It is sad, hugs.
Her medications can be given with food which will make them easier to swallow. Have her take a mouthful of soft food and add a couple of pills and have her swallow. make sure she always has a drink available when she eats.
She can be easily investigated for any swallowing difficulties it is just a question of swallowing a little barium while they watch it on x-ray. They can also give her diferent textures of food and watch again on x-ray as it is swallowed. very simple painless proceedures absolutely nothing to worry about and yes I have had them done myself.
My Mom is from the old school "a little bit won't hurt".... ah, yes, Mom, a little bit WILL hurt. She cannot connect the lines, whenever Dad eats this stuff, he has to make a run for the bathroom, and sometimes he doesn't make it in time... oops.
I have gotten Dad lactose free ice cream, as Gladimhere had mentioned above, the coconut ice cream, especially with almonds, is sooooo good :) But my parents don't want to pay the higher price for that type of ice cream. Where's my helmet?
The sad thing is...fave sis asked me when's my next week off. I said first week of December. She said good, she would be back at work. I can help with the baby. {Gulp} Uhm..I don't want to spend my vacation week with a high pitched crier who would learn by that time, that crying gets results: food, pamper change and to be carried.
Veronica, I've been meaning to do that. Ever since my complication hysterectomy, it has affected me. Before the surgery, I was struggling to do#2. After the surgery, if I don't go immediately to do#2 (at work or changing dad's pampers), I get severe abdominal pain. And the pain increases until I "go".
Night. I'm tired and still need to spray the nostrils.
Pamzit.... I chuckled. All best laid plans tend to go wrong. I hope you were able to persuade them to go to sleep in their usual time.
I wrote a long long post after the first paragraph. But I keep deleting it. In the end, I've decided to keep it to myself. To see it written, makes me seem so paranoid. Or real. I'm going to have to do more thinking on this.
Sorbet is awful! I tried it. Verrrrrry Sweeeeet. {{shudder}} That sugar might tip the scale and I end up diabetic. Whatever is happening, the food that I used to love eating, I can't stand it. The food I avoid, I find delicious. I think, on Wednesday, I'm half day.... I'm going to treat myself to Tony Roma's. Well, I will do take out, and bring lunch to fave sis and her daughter and new born. Spend the afternoon with them. Or maybe not. I don't feel like being with people. Maybe I eat at the restaurant by myself, then go to the Mall, sit at the food court and read. It will be much more relaxing than being with sis. I need to hibernate from social niceties. If I can just find a good humorous book.....
In the sweets and chocolate aisle, say to yourself "you'll be sorry. Put them back!"
In the cakes and cookies aisle, try reading the label. By the time you've digested words such as "di-glyceride" and "ammonium phosphate" they look a lot less appetising. Hydrogenated fats? Eeeuw! Added to this, I tell myself "if you want cake, make a cake." I then happily go home and can't be bothered to bake. It really helps!
It's hard when you have to keep things in the house because somebody else enjoys them. You could try labelling the tub with your father's ice cream in it with a big bold sign saying "Dad's - KEEP OFF!" Then at the very least you'd have to get past that to eat it. I find that the slight hint that I'm actually stealing food from my mother keeps me out of the packet as long as I'm concentrating.
On the other hand. There is no reason on earth why you shouldn't have the occasional ice cream if you enjoy it. If you're lactose intolerant, what about sorbets? If they're properly made, they can be lovely and creamy-feeling, if not creamy-tasting; plus you're getting all that fresh fruit which is actively good for you. So then all you have to worry about is the sugar content, which I agree is not great. Oh dear. I'm not sure we can win this one, sigh...
I've been so tired today. I don't know why. I took about.... 3 mini naps today. I don't know why I'm so tired. I thought it was just only when I come on AC. But today, I didn't even get on the computer. And I had to take a nap at 9am, 11am, 3pm. I was exhausted again at 5pm but I fought it. Too close to night time. I don't want to take a nap and then cannot sleep tonight.
All well.. I've been reading my ebooks. The current new series I started is not as attention-grabbing as the other 2 series I finished. It's slow going with lots of skipping. Really. For a mystery book, that female main character spent most of her time fascinating on the handsome main character and his 'attributes.' Really had to do a lot of skipping. Even looked at the cover to make sure it's a Mystery and not a lousy Romance. When I'm fighting depression, romance stories make me more depress. So, I've finished book 1 with lots of skipping. Hopefully, book 2 is Not the same vein.
With sinus, colds, any head stuffiness avoid dairy. Try to give ice cream a rest for a week to see if it helps. Maybe switch to the frozen coconut milk treats or sorbet which is dairy free. Do you have Trader Joes there? They are supposed to have some excellent non dairy frozen desserts.