The Caregiver... How are YOU doing today?

I believe tylenol causes liver damage and ibuprofen causes kidney damage. Aspirin causes internal bleeding. Hard to keep it all straight. My husband can only take tylenol but has to be careful as it can cause liver damage

Veronica,

Thanks. I didn't know that.
Good to know this, too.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Busy the past couple days as I usually fill my clients containers after Thanksgiving but with our cold snap the fall plants are frozen in. Should be warmer tomorrow so I will cross my fingers and finish my corporate client tomorrow instead. My current employer (part time) likes the planters done before Thanksgiving so I chiseled the plants out yesterday and completed today. Plus helped hubby carry in about a full cord firewood into basement. About one cord left. Whew. Back is a bit stiff. Stopped briefly to see dad yesterday will try to stop in tomorrow as I want to figure out what he should wear for Thanksgiving. I have accomplished quite a bit the part two days. Now also to figure out what Medicare part D plan to enroll dad in as I am dropping his supplemental insurance as he is way overpaying for the amount that they pay. What a ripoff for him.

College, welcome to the club... weight gain here, too, and I can't keep my hands out of the bowl for the Hershey Almond Semi-Sweet. I, too, and dealing with kidney stones and keep putting off the surgery since I have no pain. I might kick myself later for dragging my feet on that.

I should be downstairs dusting the house as we will be doing Thanksgiving dinner on this Sunday. The grocery store did the cooking for me, and I picked up the box this afternoon along with all the heat-serve fixings. Oh well, my parent's eyesight isn't all that good, so it's a very quick dusting, they won't see the dust anyway :P

herbalizer 77, I have gained 18 pounds and I am also hooked on chocolate. The dr said my cholesterol is elevated. I also have diverticulitis and kidney stones. But try to keep it all under control until I have time for me. Who knows when that will be. I can't afford outside help and because we make a little bit too much money we can't get any help. If it ever got bad for me I could get the VA to take over, but I pray we can get thru this without that. GOD bless the caregivers! I feel better just reading all of the posts. We all have it rough. But we are survivor's right? My girls are all very busy working and trying to take care of their Families. We will get together for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but who has time to shop?

Margeuax, just one small correction Tylenol is the only OTC pain reliever that does not thin the blood and can be safely taken with blood thinners. However that being said exceeding the recommended daily dose will cause kidney damage and even death,
As always "read the label"

thanks so much 57twin, for your kind comments. Man, you sure have it rough too. We all do in one way or another. I don't take care of 11 of the cats, lol. My daughter does, but I take care of the oldest one since the others pick on her. She's neurotic and alot of work sometimes. Puppy goes without saying. It's so liberating to be able to say what you want and instead of being judged, everyone sympathizes and understands!While my husband is emotionally distant and ignores me unless he needs something, he is and was a good provider. Not so good with the kids but they seem to have resolved it and while better with grandkids still not there yet. I also have to say how much I appreciated his support when going back to school. I never would have made it without it. I sure didn't get any from my kids. I never like mentioning what I went to school for, because then everyone's opinion is that I should be able to handle all this caretaking--that it should be a breeze for me. However, with jobs, you can go home and be away from it for a day or two and when at work, it's only 8-12 hours. But with care taking, it's 24-7, 365 days a year with no time off for good behavior. I appreciated my husband's support but feel resentment over his disinterest in a companionship relationship and resent having to meet his needs when he refuses to meet my basic need of companionship. But it is what it is. I like reading books too because it's an escape from the world I'm in. sometimes I'm so depressed I have all I can do to get out of bed in the morning. I wish I could go crawl into a black hole and slam the door shut and lock it. I truly sympathize with those who feel suicidal and even had a plan in place. I know how that is. I'm glad no one has followed through with it. I've gained a ton of weight from self-medicating with food--chocolate being my biggest addiction of choice. I used to work out and walk but can't due to my knees. Been putting off going to the Dr to find out what's wrong with them and get care for a slue of other medical issues because if it isn't my daughter going to the dr or ER one month, it's my husband. Trying to get those paid off before I have to rack up more from me. I treat alot with herbs and grow/make some of my own. This site is God-sent! Nothing has changed, except I get to say anything I want about resentment,guilt and be heard without being shouted down or judged or criticized. How refreshing and uplifting! Thank you everyone!

Book,

I didn't read about you eating the ice cream. I hate to have to tell you this......
ice cream is one of the worst things one can be eating, especially if you have it every day, for any kind of sinus, stuffyness problems in the head. Lot's of sugar,
then well if you're saying you don't drink water whatsoever.........there you go,
you are setting yourself up to get the headaches. It sounds as if you may need to get in touch with your diet. Maybe if you become aware of what different foods do,
and the action it has on the body, you will be able to address your headache/siinus issues. I suffer from them tremendously, so I kind of know the drill.

Hope this helps, because it is miserable.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Book,

Also be aware that while I'm sure you're trying to address the headaches,
if you are taking medications such as Tylenol, Motrin, Aspirin.........this stuff is going to thin the blood. If your blood is thinned out......then you could possibly get the nose bleeds again.

I have a neighbor who has very bad varicose veins, and even had a couple procedures for it. She always overdoes house work, lifting and moving things.
So she ends up in pain from arthritis. Recently, she started to mention several times she was taking Aleve. Her varicose veins are actiing up, the very same ones she was operated for. They look terrible, and doctors do warn people such as her, to avoid taking these kinds of meds, because it could cause the bleeding.

Do make sure that you are hydrating, as I think it was Countrymouse who suggested this to you. Many of the meds, can also have the opposite effect, they get rid of the pain, however they also may act as a diuretic, which means it's super important to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. I am talking about water here, not sweetened beverages or anything of the sort.

I hope you feel better.

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux

I was suppose to drop by the pharmacy and got sidetracked. Fave niece gave birth this morning - to a girl. Now she has a boy and a girl. I spent my spare hours there. I can't believe for a newborn, that baby can cry! And Loud. By 2pm, I was ready to run away. Just the sound of a newborn's crying makes me cringe. I used to babysit my older siblings children when I was teenager. All 7 of them while trying to cram for the finals. Fave sis tried to keep longer but I was ready to flee by 2pm. Whew! Thank goodness we're not staying under the same roof. That baby can cry.

Just taking the antihistamine and the nasal spray, I didn't have a nosebleed today. Yippee!! I dread taking it tonight. I took a Tylenol today and it took a Long Time for it to kick in. I'm too scared to take Excedrin or Motrin because the asprin might make it bleed again.

Thanks for the advice about hydrating. I tend to forget to drink fluid daily. I usually just drink one small can of ice coffee in the morning. That's it. I don't drink anything for lunch or dinner. So, I do appreciate you reminding me that I need to hydrate while taking these stuff. Well... correction...does ice cream count as fluids? I've been eating ice cream daily.

Oohh. I just gave a big yawn. I can never stay too long on AC now. Oops. another big yawn. Yawn #3.... time to go. I'm going to keep yawning until I stop reading here on AC. Later. Yawn #4.... You all have a good day today. I'll sneak back here after I shower. Yawn #5. ....

gladimhere, that just reminded me, my Mom gets headaches when taking Claritin. I use Claritin, but the Children's Claritin, and sometimes I get a slight headache.

I have good luck with the very old tried and true Clora-trimanton (sp) anti-histamine, 4 mg. Yeah, they make me feel sleepy, but I can deal with that :)

bookluvr, wonder if anything you're taking has "codeine" in it? My Dad is allergic to codeine as it would cause a real head pounder of a headache for him. For me, it would feel like someone was standing on my lungs and I couldn't breathe. Codeine is also a pain killer.

Book, if I use nasal spray in the evening I have a hard time sleeping. My system is very sensitive to the non-drowsy cold meds and some of the nasal sprays contain the antihistamines that are in cold tablets. They make me feel absolutely awful pins and needles in my scalp, shaky, you name it, just plain WIRED! I don't take them and havent for years.

Book, I'm sorry but I've lost track of what kind of spray it was? But in any case, make sure you're drinking enough water - plain water, doesn't have to be anything fancy - so that you don't get dehydrated. It could be a weird and wonderful reaction, but it's worth checking the quick 'n' easy things first :)

You did get your ears checked at the same time? If the ringing gets worse, go back - could be an infection.

I haven't had a headache for several days. Not even the stress from work bring it on. Lastnight, I was able to finally get the nerve to use the spray and take the oral antihistamine. Antihistamine at dinner and spray before bedtime. I woke up this morning around 4am to a slight headache. If I go back to sleep, maybe the headache goes away. I woke up at 6am. Headache is getting worse and the ringing of my right ear which seems to be increasing. Doctor asked if I was allergic to anything, I said no. But I am sensitive to certain drugs.

Does anyone know if there's an ingredient in the nasal spray that is also in the after-surgery painkiller? I had noticed after surgery, that every time I I clicked the IV painkiller, I got this terrible headache. After the 3 3rd time, I decided that I can handle the surgical pain without having to use the drip IV painkiller. It's just that this headache feels different from my regular ones. When I get up, I'm going to Google for more info.

haven't seen dad as much as usual this week as with the holidays coming up I am working more plus I have my landscape clients holiday planters to create and we have to work on hauling firewood into basement for the winter.
Today though is their AL's Thanksgiving with staff and residents. Since I work at a bakery I am providing the rolls. Later this afternoon they are having a bell choir perform so no happy hour.

I agree Book rocks -I would be embarrassed to ask how to use nasal spray .

bookluvr, oh my gosh, all these years I have been using nose strays wrong... thanks so much for the tip... so smart of you to ask how to use it :)

Too right you're smart to ask. Too many people get it wrong and later say "I didn't like to ask because I didn't want to look stupid." Sorry, they *didn't* want to look stupid..?

Also, now you're nasal spray will work properly. What's dumb about that? :)

You're smart! Most people are too dumb to ask!

I met the new doctor today. She's very young. New. And has this habit of not listening to me. She has no patience to wait for me to finish talking. Several times, I've had to rudely interrupt her so that I can finish my thoughts. She kept asking several times when I'm seeing my previous doctor. I was confused. I finally told her that I like my current doctor, he's a good doctor, but I'm looking for a female doctor because I cannot be open to him. Back to the drawing board. Next week, I'm going to our insurance office and ask for a listing of doctors under their plan. I will need to try another clinic. The clinic I went to works like this. The primary doctors work from Monday-Fridays. Any visits in the weekends are considered Urgent Care. You go there, and then you need to do a follow up visit with your primary doctor. None of the primary doctors work in the weekend. So that means I have to take time off to go visit the clinic - that opens 7 days a week.

She got my history - very thorough person. Asked how many siblings I have, how many brothers, how many sisters, ask about my dad (his medical history), ask about my mom (when she died and her history), my medical history, etc... She was surprised that all these years of my headaches and I never ever saw a neurologist. I've had a catscan and an MRI for my headaches. She said that she prefers to send patients to a neurologist first before ordering those. And I never saw a neurologist? No....

I decided to concentrate on my nosebleed. Since my first nosebleed, it's been bleeding since then. Mostly when I blow my nose. Blood comes out instead of the normal stuff. Nice bright red blood. Lastnight, I did my usual gungho sneezing fit (that hurts my throat), and my nose got all stuffed up. So, I tried to Gently blow my nose because I couldn't breath. Out came this bright red thick bloody yuck. I stared at all that fresh bright red blood on the tissue.

She said that she wanted to check my ears. I said, "Oh, speaking of ears. My right ear sometimes the sound goes dull and I get this sharp inner pain. Inside the ear." She wants me to try a steroid nose spray and some pill antihistamine before referring me to the ENT.

I went to the pharmacy to pick up the nose spray. I asked the guy how do I use it since I've never used a nose spray before. So he called the pharmacist. She explained to me how to do it. She opened the box, told me that I need to pump it several times. I aimed the bottle straight up, and she said, "No, don't aim it to you or upwards - because it would spray into your face. Aim it away from you. Then pump it."

Then she showed how to close one side of the nostril with the opposite hand, lean a bit forward, stick the bottle up the nostril using the opposite side hand. She said that it's very important not to aim it straight up because it will shoot into the vessels - which would make it bleed. By using your opposite hand to insert it in, you're automatically angling the bottle away from the vessels. ... Ohhhhh. Smart!

When she was done, I thanked her very sincerely. She said that in all her years as a pharmacist, no one ever had asked her how to use the spray bottle...with so many questions. {{chuckling}} I'm her first. Don't know if I should be proud or feel insulted that I'm so dumb to have to ask How to do it. =/

Burned, I can just see your dad calling you for every single event happening there. You must be grateful that they’re there and not with you at home. Can you imagine if they still at your home, getting up at all hours – thinking it’s daytime – and trying to tell them it’s night time. Very frustrating. I tell my dad to look outside the window. If it’s dark – it’s night time. If he sees light outside – it’s daytime. He looks outside the window, looks at me with a blank face. It’s just no longer registering to him – dark is night, light is day. Lately, he would be talking or singing in the middle of the night. Trying to get me up to feed him because it’s past lunchtime. And that’s just my dad. You would have had to deal with both parents. I have a feeling you’re going to hate the sound of a ringing phone.

Goldengirl, I hate it when I go through depression. For the past few weeks, I’ve been struggling with mine. I’ve spent the past couple of weeks crawled up in my books, reading all the time. Books make me laugh and takes me away from my life here. I know that feeling of not wanting to go home…to face the reality. Don’t feel bad about not wanting to take care for your mother anymore. It’s called the caregiver’s guilt. We always find something that makes us feel guilty. It’s so hard to ignore it. {{HUGS}}

57twin, yes, it is sad, that you just saw your dad 3 hours ago, and he believes no one is visiting him. And will only be interested in his house when he’s dead. My dad is like that, too – about the house – and my brother wanting it when he dies.

Hi Herbalizer, Welcome to AC (AgingCare). You have a full house of caregiving recipients – your husband, daughter , puppy and needy cats. I do believe you have stretched yourself thin for everyone and no time-out for yourself. The real time-out…not doing the house chores while they’re away at the dentist. Don’t feel guilty if you use your free time Not doing housework. I know what you mean about no family support. It was just dad & I with caring for bedridden mom (bedridden over 13yrs). When he had a stroke (at age 84) and became bedridden, not one of my 7 siblings offered to help me care for Our TWO bedridden parents. Within a year of his stroke, I just couldn’t handle it anymore – and became seriously suicidal. I found this site about 3 days before my suicidal decision. This was the real deal. I had the when, how, and the exact date to implement my foolproof painless suicide. I came on here and asked for help. There were some very wonderful people who gave me such great advice, even when I didn’t want to accept it. I will be forever grateful to them and this site. Please don’t let the stress of caregiving get to you. It’s going to be sooo hard for you since you can’t find physical support groups or even a respite care. Asking family for help over and over - gets to the point that it just makes you more and more angry, bitter and resentful that you have to keep asking. I know what that’s like. I’m glad you found this site. It does help. A Lot.

@Herbalizer - what was the short-lived career you had to give up?

Check with your local hospitals for support groups also the Office of the Aging also some senior centers have adult day care for reasonable fees for a few hours each day and even have bus transportation .

Goldengirl, I am sorry you are feeling so depressed but it is perfectly normal under the circumstances. My mother is 93 with severe dementia and we almost put her in a nursing home but my brother decided to try and care for her. I am concerned that it will be too much for him but I guess he must try. This illness is terrible and even the professionals have a difficult time dealing with it, so please don't feel guilty. It is not easy no matter what you do. It is so degrading for our loved ones and we the caretakers and just overwhelmed. I hope you will be feeling better real soon. This is the time of year many people suffer from depression and I am fighting it myself. Best wishes, Happy Thanksgiving and Prayers.

Sunny

I understand veterans who were exposed to Agent Orange in Vietnam can't get any financial assistance. My husband flew a helicopter behind a plane spraying that chemical. V.A, says he can't get financial assistance, but if he develops prostate cancer he can. He has prostate problems, but not cancer..yet...He gets a little V.A. assistance due to ringing of the ears caused by the noise of the helicopter he flew during those early years of Vietnam. How can I pursue this? marymember

Thanks, Veronica91! :)

This website has been a store house of knowledge where I found I could learn more from those with life experiences than reading a book on any of the subject matters. Plus, I found some ah ha moments which have directed me into the right direction.

As for the trolls, after a while I see the same writing and answering patterns, and knew I had stuck my foot into some quick sand. Some of those writers need to write for Lifetime Movies :)

One really good thing about this site is that you feel free to express yourself without feeling someone is in the group judging you. Even if they don't speak up that look of disapproval can bore into you. When someone write something mean the whole group quickly points out what they have done. Naturally as in any group you find people you feel closer to and follow more closely. Others you sigh when you see their name and then there are the ocassional "Trolls" who give themselves away pretty quickly because like all liers they can't keep their stories straight. All in all I feel this is a very compassionate group and really reach out to help each other. You are very much welcome Herbalizer.