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I am awed that you would take an elderly parent on a 2 week trip anywhere. Just getting my parents to the doctor or a restaurant is a major event. Thinking forward to the Holidays, makes my heartbeat skip - have no idea how I will handle getting them in the car, up my steps, fix dinner and try to keep them comfortable. You should consider writing a book about travelling with elderly parents. I can't even imagine it. 12 years ago, I moved from California to Florida and decided to drive across county to see places I hadn't seen. My mom asked if she could fly out and drive with me. She said it would be like Thelma and Louise ( it was like driving Ms. Daisy) - then my dad decided, that he wanted to come. My parents were 78 and 75 at the time. We took 2 weeks and had a great time ( a little craziness but not much). Today, if I drive them across town, I almost have an anxiety attack. I am impressed with your effort!
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Book, I had a car, can't remember what it was now, but the engine light came on even if there was a brake light out.
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Book when the engine check light comes on it is most often a faulty oxygen sensor
not worth destroying your wheel rims for
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Burnedout, you are exactly right - this is *nothing* like taking care of children. You get to experience the joy of your children growing and changing and learning, gaining their independence and becoming a person of their own. With an aging loved one or parent(s), you watch them slowly regress and slip away - at first it's just little things, like forgotten pills or a lapse in their driving skills. Then it becomes major things, like forgotten pills for a whole day or days, loss of hygiene skills, and inability to recognize people. It's so hard to watch them go downhill.

The only way I will say this is like caring for a baby is the fact that if you take your elder anywhere for a trip that involves an overnight - or longer - stay, you have to pack half the house, it seems! I'm still unpacking from our 2-week trip more than a week after returning home, and I have many things I can't find...feel like *I'm* the one starting to lose it a little....
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fligirl, I can't tell you how many times I've had to do just what you did - go to my room and cry.

After a long day of trying to work (I work from home), watching mom just sit in her chair in front of the tv because she won't do anything else - not even walk into the kitchen to get herself a drink or a snack (even though she's capable of doing so), listening to her repeat the same things over and over, reminding her to take her pills, reminding her to change her incontinence pad (and then doing the "bathroom dance" with her, because she forgets to do it, comes out, I ask about it and she goes back in, then come out again having STILL not done it), doing endless loads of laundry caused by her wetting her protective chair pad and bedding and clothing....

Trust me, I get it. Most of us here do. We completely understand, and any time you need to vent, you go right ahead and vent.
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Thanks burnedout. I needed to hear that.
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fligirl - unfortunately what you are feeling is entirely normal. I have been taking care of my parents for 5 years. It feels like an eternity. I have lost 5 years of my life. I moved 3,000 miles to be close to grandchildren and almost never see them. After moving my parents here almost 5 years ago, I have now given up every outside activity and almost all of my friends. I work and take care of my parents. I get into what I call "snits" about having no life. My parent say that they want me to take care of myself - because if I don't they won't have anyone to take care of them. Take care of myself? I am lucky to get 2 hours without a call, a request and a list of things that they are unhappy about and that I need to fix. Sometimes, I just lose it. I then try to remember that I, to am human and there is a limit to what one person can do. I now truly believe that my parents will outlive me. My dad was very angry one day and said "I know that sometimes you wish we were dead." He has it all wrong, sometimes I wish I were. This is hard work and it is not for the faint of heart. Take deep breaths and realize that most people would not even consider doing what you are doing.
This is why I love this site. When I read other people's experiences, I don't feel so isolated. People will say, oh this must be like taking care of small children. So wrong. When you raise children, it is like a seeing a sponge expand and grow. Taking care of elderly parents, is like seeing a sponge shrink and dry up.
Nothing like taking care of children. So much more difficult and many times very sad.
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Fligirl please do not be hard on yourself-you are doing an impossible job-it is hard not to verbalize our feelings -you are feeling very alone-elders do not come with instruction books.
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Susan, thanks for the tip about using either dried Eucalyptus or Vicks Vaporub. Veronica knows me well. As I was reading your words, I was trying to figure out which corner to put it - without putting it into anything. Uhm... I don't have common sense. I'm visual. If I read something, I follow it exactly.

I will need to come back and continue reading. It's 920pm and time to change dad's pampers and then go shower.

Stressing. My car's engine light came on this morning. Then, because I was stressing that it would cost over $1300 (engine problem!??), I hit the curb while turning and dented my hubcaps hard into the rim. Now, when I'm driving, my car seems to shake sideways a lot. I will need to find a car repair to see if I just messed up the alignment (hopefully it's just the alignment and not... a damaged rim or something.)
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I am so depressed and overwhelmed today and have been for the last 5 days. It comes and it goes. I told my mom today that I was overwhelmed and she got hurt and I feel like shit. She said just leave and I will be able to live on my own. My sister says that mom needs help showering and that sis just does it. Excuse me, you were here one day and she was done showering so she helped her get dressed. My mom could have had a shower person come in and she forbid it and she refuses to let me help. So mom can do it on her own. I said to mom look at it from my perspective. That I have to watch her 24/7 and now she is going to start a powerful pain med which means I cannot sneak out in the morning while she is sleeping because I don't know how she will react. I know what I said was wrong and I do not like hurting my mom because she is such a nice person. I keep thinking of my future, yeah what future? and its making me worse. I know all you know this feeling that its like groundhog day, the same day over and over and over. I apologized to mom and told her its not her its the disease but she is sad. I am such an idiot for saying anything. Why can't I keep my big mouth shut. I am going to my room and just cry.
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taking care of my 84 Mother who insist she does not need help but wants us to help her get things at the store. Do some things for her but gets mad and wants us to go home. She does not want to hear any suggestions to help her from us or her doctor's. She is getting worse but no is paying attention because she does not allow them to help her and feel frustration in dealing with her. That leads to our frustration.
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update on my broken arm...nothing they can do but wait for it to heal...hanging here in this sling thing...said will work on the frozen shoulder after the bone heals...still don't have full range of motion in the other shoulder that I dislocated 2 months ago...husband has been great...he installed a swoosh seat for me yesterday...not sure if to save what little dignity I have left or save himself from a fate worse than he wants to deal with...he should be on here now instead of me...anyway the swoosh is a toilet seat with a built in bidet...you have no idea how humiliating it is to not be able to use the bathroom by yourself until you've been there. Maybe it is a blessing in disguise that some of the mind usually goes before we get to that point. Any way this thing works great and I at least have some of my dignity restored...he still has to put me in the sower and scrub me down...but I'll take whatever progress is offered...
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I am glad that my parents still recognize me. I am sure that it is coming. It must be hard to have parents who don't know who you are. Last year, some friend from my parents' old home town came to visit. These folks are a very close friends of my parents. After they left, my mom said it was nice meeting new people and asked again, who were those people. I mention friends and family that they have known for 70 years. They have know idea who I am talking about. Many times I leave in tears. It is very difficult to watch my parents lose touch with those who care most about them.
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My mom also loves a blanket or towel right out of the dryer..And I bought a shoulder wrap that goes in the microwave and stays hot for a good while.
today I took my folks to a local Amish farmers market..about 30 minutes from our house. they are from Lancaster Pa. They loved it!! Made them feel like "home" for a bit We took a friend of mine and her older hubs.. we all really enjoyed ourselves, and had lunch out. Got Dad some exercise this way too! And they both got to visit with someone.. they are pretty isolated here, away from all thier friends. And I feel for you Burnedout,, Dad keeps asking where their car went.. we tell him his granddaughter is using it until her car gets fixed ( she hit a deer).. He keeps saying "I don;t know who that is.." She stopped by tonight for dinner.. he has no clue who she is. Upsets her, but I remind her he has no idea who we are either!
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Can't wait to see what happens tonight at my parents' place. It is always an adventure of sorts. Last night, when I walked in my mom told me that there was some confusion about glasses when she got her hair done. Another woman insisted that mom had taken her glasses. The drama lasted all day. She told the beautician that she knew someone that would know if the glasses she had on were hers or not and when I got there I would make the decision. I felt like Solomon or Judge Judy. She told me she thought they weren't her glasses because she could not see with them on. After thoroughly examining the glasses ( she would have it no other way). I determined they were her glasses. All of the sudden she could see again. Twenty minutes later, my dad said - someone stole you mom's glasses today. So, I had to go through the whole experience with reviewing the glasses, etc. again. I believe that there are lessons that we are supposed to learn in life. My lesson is patience. I am not a patient person,but after 5 years of these experiences - I am sure that I am almost as patient as Job - life lesson learned - can I please move onto another life lesson? Perhaps one that is a little easier?
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Sounds like you have a good handle on things, College. It's not always easy for us to cherish the tough days, but it's important to try. When we have to vent, this is the place to do it.

Mom's not had a great week, memory-wise, and I've been doing more laundry than normal because of that. (She forgets to take care of certain personal hygiene items and then has accidents...we do the "bathroom dance" all day, with me reminding her and her going in and then forgetting and coming out, and having to go back in, then I finally go and watch her do it...) So I'm trying to make the best of it and keep her involved in things, but she's slowly slipping down that slope towards incapacity, despite my best efforts. Unfortunately, that's inevitable.

College, can you warm up a heavy blanket and wrap it around Mom's shoulders and legs? My mom loves it when I bring her freshly-washed and dried sweater or a blanket directly to her out of the dryer, nice and warm, and put it around her shoulders. Might help alleviate the "cold" feeling a little.
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That is sweet, you had a good day even with the cold symptoms. My momma is sad today. She is always cold and her bones hurt her so much. Since her slip 2 weeks ago she has slowed down even more. She is so blessed that she didn't brake anything, just bruised her foot a bit. Makes me sad, she sleeps too much too. But we try to keep her happy and comfortable, so if she wants to go to bed early we let her. She can't get up our three steps anymore so we put in a ramp for her wheel chair. She thinks that is fun. I'll take her a ride tomorrow and get her a Happy Meal at Mc Donald's. She likes that. I cherish each day. Sending you all love & hugs.
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Finally getting back up to speed after our 2-week absence from the house so the floors could be refinished. Feeling under the weather today but trying to power through it. No time to deal with cold symptoms!

I put up our Halloween decor today, stickies on the windows and dressed up the seagull statue I bought Mom this summer - I made him a little ghost costume out of a white floursack towel, complete with hole cut out for his beak. LOL Hilariously cute. Added some mini pumpkins and gourds around the base of his stand and ta-da! Instant Halloween decor. Need to see if I can make a turkey outfit for him or a pilgrim suit for Thanksgiving - ha! I've already got his Santa suit for Christmas - the stores sell wine bottle slipcovers for the holidays - one of them fits the seagull perfectly, complete with hat. I'm probably putting too much into this, but it entertains Mom and adds a little something to the house to have decor outside.

Had Mom put together the treat boxes for the Trick or Treaters coming tomorrow. We don't get many kids here for Halloween, so I splurged a little bit and bought treat boxes to fill with candy and small (cheap) party favors. I think the kids will love it. :-) Mom liked filling the boxes (and ate a decent amount of candy along the way, couldn't exacty tell her she couldn't have any with it sitting in front of her) - but a telling moment was when she tried to assemble the little treat boxes. They are just simple boxes that have to be folded a few times to be assembled, and a couple of tabs put into slots to hold them together - but she took one look at them and asked if I would put them together for her. Kind of sad, but I had a feeling it would happen. So I assembled the boxes and she filled them. I think it made her feel good to have something to do.
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Well no, of course you don't want that all over the shower floor - I should have said to put it in a container of some sort.
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Good idea Susan but I would first melt it in a pan of boiling water and put that in the shower. You don't want petrolium jelly all over the shower floor. Book already has brittle bones she ddoes not need a fracture on top.
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Book, I think you can use dried eucalyptus (make sure it's not coated with anything to keep it shiny, like shellac or varnish - you want NATURAL eucalyptus here). You can order it online, I'm sure. If you can't get it for some reason, I'm not sure if you have Vicks VapoRub in your area - it's a strongly eucalyptus-scented petroleum jelly type product - used to relieve chest congestion. Put a glob in the corner of your shower on the floor where the hot water will melt it - it will fill the shower with eucalyptus scent. :-)
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Too bad we don't have a eucalyptus tree. I'd rather hang a branch in my shower than try to get up the nerve to do the sinus rinse. I think I will google more info on this. I love hot showers. I come out and the mirror is all fogged up. It would be perfect for me- I think. I'm not the only one sniffling and blowing one's nose here on island. Our weather is off and on rain, muggy, hot sun, sudden rain, muggy, then hot sun. It's playing havoc with our sinuses. Plus lately, my darn nose is so itchy.
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Yup, that one is true, Book. I don't know about it being good for the skin, but it's good for the sinuses and lungs - clears things up.
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Just a little tidbit that I'm reading from my mystery book. I don't know how true it is or not. The main character was strolling in the campus. She gathered some eucalyptus branches - planning to hang it in her shower. The aroma released from the steam is great for one's skin and lungs.
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getnstrong, that was such a strange story. I never really realized such an obvious contrast it is and how important the environment is - for one to remember who you are. Such a big difference in how you were treated. I'd be torn, too. But, I would do most of my visiting where she's friendly. Then, when I start to miss the old mom who is abusive, I'd go up and visit her in her room - for old time's sake. Anyway, if you avoid visiting her in her room, she will be telling everyone how bad a daughter you are - for not visiting her. Because in her mind, you did not. =)
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getnstrong, that's a good ah ha moment, about if an elder is in their own home they are more apt to recognize you, then outside of their home element. Learned something new today :)

One thing I have noticed was years ago my elderly Aunt knew who I was whenever she telephoned me... but if I called her, she didn't know who I was even with a lot of prompting. I am being to notice that a wee bit with my ex-mother-in-law.
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Getnstrong, well there's your answer! Always go in disguise to visit your mother and you'll both have a lovely time :)

On a softer note, I'm so sorry for how you must feel about her losing these connections. Very hard. Hugs.
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Burned you may just have to tell Dad you are going to one store-my MIL had me going all over town to 3 different food store to save a penny on soda-the husbands said no one tore and she had to live with that or go without her grocies -she learned to live with that.
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Yesterday I visited Mom and found her in the dining room. I said "there you are!", and pulled up a chair to join her. She began a pleasant conversation, and I soon realized that she had no idea who I was. Began talking about her daughter (me) and her grandkids, etc. At one point I tried to get through and said, "MOM, It's ME, Sherry". Either she didn't hear me (very deaf), or was just in her own place and it didn't register. Point is, we had such a nice pleasant conversation with her talking about her family of origin, etc. and how she and her husband used to take vacations, etc.
I had often wondered how I'd feel if she didn't recognize me, as she always said it made her cry when her mother was in a nursing home and didn't know her. Instead, I felt relief!!! She spoke to me like a civil human being. I found myself wishing she would stay in that state, so I could just be a friend who came to visit, and not the daughter she projects all her anger upon.
At one point a CNA who used to work for me came up and said "HI, Boss!" and we chatted a bit. Later I pulled her aside and told her that Mom didn't know me, and I wanted her advice about how to handle the situation. She suggested that I let her go to her apartment, and then knock on the door and perhaps in her own environment, she'd recognize me. I followed that advice, and sure enough I was met with a sarcastic "Well, this is an unexpected surprise." Later she said, "oh, I had dinner with a woman, who knows that CNA that you are friends with."
Honestly, I like being a stranger she will be pleasant to, better than being her daughter upon whom she projects all her anger, blame, frustration, etc.
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November is caregiver's month. Our monthly group meeting will be celebrating this at a hotel with a light breakfast and real lunch food. I work that Saturday morning. I went last year. Too bad that I can't this year. We can bring 1 guest. I really would like to go. But, I've been slacking off at work - no show on Monday when I had my major depression. Then last week, I took 1 week off. Now, I have a dental appt on the 10th. Too bad....
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