This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Margeaux
You post about indulgence was excellent.
The goats milk yogurt.......I buy this. It's great.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
We had a good day. Took Mom and dad to casino for a few hours, even came home with money ! OK, Only 5 dollar profit but still!! it was her birthday present...LOL tomorrow we go back to Dr about her broken finger. Hopefully only 2 more weeks of splint. She is in a better mood and getting used to the splint
Never mind fluttering your eyes as CM sugests i suspect that would not work in your culture. this is where dad's tax money should be spent.
Book, surely this is the kind of major project where it's appropriate to bat your eyelashes and get a brother-and-his-buddies involved? They want to strip the walls, get everything completely dry, and then redecorate with a paint that allows the wall to breathe. Tell them how wonderful and strong and clever they are, poor little you could never manage all that… flattery will get you everywhere.
There is a bomb for mold, treats up to 2800 square feet in one application. Set it, leave, and forget it. I do question whether this would actually work though. But might be worth checking into.
I've got everthing now for the sinus rinse. I just have to figure out when to use it since when I blow my nose, I'm spotting blood. I've read enough online to know that I shouldn't do the rinse if there's bleeding.
I had a terrible sinus-allergy this morning. Fave niece dropped off ribs from Chili's. It was the dry rub ribs. I took one bite, tasted the different herbs and knew that one of it would trigger my sinus. It did. Plus, I've also noted that when I take my daily handful of walnuts and almonds in the evenings, I wake up with sinus. The thing is... if I keep avoiding everything that causes me sinus - dairy, nuts, garlic, curry, italian seasonings, nuts, etc.... what do I have left to eat?
I tell you this, those handful of nuts a day sure make me very regular in the BM daily. But the ice cream - I've been good for the past few days. Although my mind keeps telling me to go get some.
Boss and I have been sniffling all morning today at work. I'm going to take the RX Motrin prescribed by doc. Maybe it will ease the pounding of my stuffed up head. My nose is not stuffed up, nor am I draining out (as in blowing my nose). Lunchtime now. I'm taking the Motrin and then off to work.
Thanks for tips.
FYI, I will admit that I haven't mopped the moldy wall in the bathroom because I'm so scared of inhaling it. I can already smell the mold when I walk in. Imagine when I'm cleaning it. I'm thinking of getting another pail to use to rinse off the mop every time I swipe. This way it doesn't go into the treated water. I'm still trying to figure it out. I've got all the cleaning supplies for it, too.
Suggestions about the mold are great.
It is a known fact that mold does cause many health problems.
I'm a sinus sufferer also. I've been doing the sinus rinses for some time now.
They have helped me very much. So don't be afraid to do them. Of course it will feel uncomfortable at first, but the relief that can be felt outweighs this. You will get accustomed to it.
The other thing though........I have read about how you like ice cream.
Believe it or not, ice cream can really provoke sinuses. It happens to me.
I'm not a big ice cream eater, but my husband likes it. I have to keep reminding him not to over do it because he has high cholesterol, so that isn't good for him.
This summer was very hot, so I did eat more ice cream than I usually do, which wasn't even that much. Oh boy, was I sorry a day after, and two I'd eaten it.
Try to take note of what you have been eating, prior to a sinus flare up.
Another thing.......ice cream being dairy, will cause phlegm, hence the stuffy nose.
Oh yes, when you have sinus problems you have to become a detective w/diet,
and environment.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
And Austin, yes...walking on eggshells is about right. And I'm about sick of being required to tip toe through 100,000 different tulip fields. The world just seems so ass backward to me.
When they started giving out trophies for 20th place, patting those kids on the head and sending the message that no, they really didn't have to do shit but breath to be considered wonderful, special little snowflakes entitled to praise for zero effort, the gates of hell cracked open, imo. lol
I'm driving down to the beach tomorrow. Sun, wind, waves, salt and gulls...ahhhh...can't wait!
As much as I like to vent, and believe me I do when it is safe and might be constructive, I find that my venting is like a boomerang and it hits me in the heart after too much indulgence! When you find others back away from you, I think it could be a sign, you've overindulged and there might be a better way to find your way back to your own inner wisdom and inner peace. I have a sense that you have tons of strength! Letting others get our goat, steal our inner peace, and not being able to be loving and open to others is something I am working on every day.
Many, many days, (mostly when I am with my Mom for a few hours), I notice my body undergoing negativity and my health is immediately effected.
Just treated myself to a yoga class for one month. Learning how to WATCH my reactions, note them, but not trade them in for my inner joy.
Do what's right for you, but I do think eventually you realize the place we all must end up is where we resist the most! And those moments when we arrive in understanding and let go of all that anger, that's when we feel a rush of joy and peace.
I think God has a good set up for us. Might as well keep on that road and see how much of Him I can reflect...got a lonnnnnnnnnnng way to go!
I have same problem. Headaches and other issues. I found out this can be controlled. Buy an air purifyer: found one for about $50: even if you move it to room to room or buy a big one for more $, the health benefits are worth it! Walmart has one and the reviews look fine. So that's my one plan.
Thank God the landlord had to replace the old toilet which was real mold farm, but it's still in the air, so more cleaning effort and air purifyer will help a lot. Today I'll clean the AC and windows with white vinegar, baking solda, or peroxide. Read the article on it. All very helpful. Best luck! Don't delay: mold is serious business.
Interesting comments about the other websites. I hate these political correct things. That's why the world is so messed up. Too much babying people, and not enough 'tough love' or 'straight talks'.
ISIL, also known as I.S., at least until we all think up a more censorious name for them, is the Iraq and Syria Islamic something-or-other - it's a populist terrorist movement which has succeeded in occupying an alarmingly large swathe of territory straddling the (extremely extensive) border between Northern Syria and Western Iraq. Hobbies include bravely beheading Western captives on incensingly spurious grounds, raping women and murdering anyone who doesn't cheer when they pass by and sign up for an Islamic Caliphate (a more extreme version of what they set up in Iran). Unfortunately we have been accidentally arming them in recent months. Oops. The newly elected Iraqi government has asked the US to provide air support to help deal with them before they get to Baghdad. It's complicated. Somebody's got to.The Saudi government has an enormous armed air fleet but apparently - don't swallow this whole - its pilots lack combat training and experience so they're not coming, they're just waving hankies to wish us luck. Turkey is a highly advanced military power, and a member of NATO what's more, but they're probably not keen on assisting the Kurds (whom they've been suppressing, not without reason to be fair, for many many decades), and probably even less keen on pissing off the Russians.
I can't go on. It is a right buggers' muddle, which would have hilarious Keystone Cops overtones if people weren't being horribly killed in horribly large numbers and in horrible, horrible ways. We should all be screaming.
I expect someone's already explained ISIL. Anyway, it's lovely to hear from you! Keep on annoying 'em ;)
On that same forum, some 25 year old, still living at home, not working, not doing squat, the parents paying all their bills and supporting them 100% financially and providing them with a roof, was complaining and 'poor me'ing' about how 'lousy' their life was, how 'wrong' and shitty in a 100 ways the parents were for not buying them a car and 'verbally abusing' them by calling them a 'lazy ass' and how none of it was at all 'fair.
I almost spewed my coffee all over the computer.
I mentioned some different options for getting them on their feet....and ended up with my post deleted and a warning for 'disrespecting someone's feelings' and was also informed that it was 'inappropriate' to tell someone that they were wrong.
O_O
Seriously?
I like being alone for a reason. The less contact with humanity the better.
I
comonsense is sadly lacking in this world and people fail to see that failing to act will condem us to being ruled by insane psychopaths.
Why not start a blog to relieve you feelings. Some people make a career of being outraged, it makes them feel important rather than putting the effort into something where they can influence for the good.
Your opinion is your opinion just that, you are entitled to that as are others to theirs. If someone chooses to take offence that is their problem not yours. Correcting a mistake or offering helpful suggestions serves a far better purpose. Keep on speaking up SA at least it wakes a few people up and maybe just maybe makes them think a tiny bit.
Well, after all those years caring for my mom and now facing the real world, I've come to the conclusion that I'm doomed.
This is the only site on line that I'm on where I'm not in trouble. It seems that I'm always shocking and outraging people and pissing them off. These people are anywhere from 20-something to their 70's. It confounds me every time I'm confronted with yet another person whose feelings I've somehow hurt, or the angry comments back to me after a post about how 'mean' I am. O_O
Ahhh, the good old days...where you could call a spade a spade and not get reamed for being insensitive. I've been slapped with so many labels I've lost count.
I got jumped on yesterday because of a comment I made in a discussion. Evidently, I'm 'mean' and 'heartless' because I couldn't seem to dredge up any sympathy for the rabid human monsters sitting on death row. The question was whether or not it's morally right to stoop to the level of a killer by killing them.
I don't see a problem with that.
People put down rabid dogs. If someone is a DNA proven beyond ANY doubt, to be a slavering, insane killing machine, put him in front of a firing squad for all I care.
I asked if a killer had tried to rip off the face of a loved one, would they be so quick to have compassion and sympathy?
One woman jumped in there, and she's in her 70's and said that of COURSE she would! Hate and vengeance were corrosive.
I said in my neck of the woods, if someone tried to torture me and mine and harm us, hate and vengeance would feel pretty damn good.
I'm mean because I'm not showing enough understanding toward monsters. And I got that from quite a few people.
Yup. Doomed.
Ahhh, feels better to get out a little of that frustration. In this world, except here, I'm just going to keep my mouth shut. If I open it, it's a sure fire guaran-damn-tee that I'll be offending someone.
Well, after all those years caring for my mom and now facing the real world, I've come to the conclusion that I'm doomed.
This is the only site on line that I'm on where I'm not in trouble. It seems that I'm always shocking and outraging people and pissing them off. These people are anywhere from 20-something to their 70's. It confounds me every time I'm confronted with yet another person whose feelings I've somehow hurt, or the angry comments back to me after a post about how 'mean' I am. O_O
Ahhh, the good old days...where you could call a spade a spade and not get reamed for being insensitive. I've been slapped with so many labels I've lost count.
I got jumped on yesterday because of a comment I made in a discussion. Evidently, I'm 'mean' and 'heartless' because I couldn't seem to dredge up any sympathy for the rabid human monsters sitting on death row. The question was whether or not it's morally right to stoop to the level of a killer by killing them.
I don't see a problem with that.
People put down rabid dogs. If someone is a DNA proven beyond ANY doubt, to be a slavering, insane killing machine, put him in front of a firing squad for all I care.
I asked if a killer had tried to rip off the face of a loved one, would they be so quick to have compassion and sympathy?
One woman jumped in there, and she's in her 70's and said that of COURSE she would! Hate and vengeance were corrosive.
I said in my neck of the woods, if someone tried to torture me and mine and harm us, hate and vengeance would feel pretty damn good.
I'm mean because I'm not showing enough understanding toward monsters. And I got that from quite a few people.
Yup. Doomed.
Ahhh, feels better to get out a little of that frustration. In this world, except here, I'm just going to keep my mouth shut. If I open it, it's a sure fire guaran-damn-tee that I'll be offending someone.
I was going to say something and got distracted with the mold. Oh, yeah, update on dad. He is now - like almost daily - complaining that someone is taking his money. His tax refund. Which came in, I showed it to him (because he kept asking if it came in), then told him that I was going to deposit it. He doesn't remember and wants his money now. I really don't want to withdraw the $1,000 so that he gives to everyone who asks for money. Oldest sis is NOT filling out the receipt book when dad gives out money. Even though I told her how important it is to keep track of all his money. That what I give him, she's responsible to track because when questioned, she needs back-up. It's not working.
Tamma and Joe, welcome to this great site. :) Post away! That's what it's here for.