This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
To be fully seen by somebody, and then loved anyhow - that is a human offering that can border on miraculous.... by Elizabeth Gilbert.
Glad - hi there I have not been on the site lately because I really don't have anything to write about. Take care of YOU!!!
Book - Good to see you too. I have never heard of anti-virus for a tablet before. Mine runs so slow sometimes. Take care of YOU!!!
Hi everyone - Well, I feel like I have dropped of the face of the earth. Everything is still the same - no job yet but very hopeful about a couple of them. The economy here is still in the toilet. I am thinking of coloring my hair because it is now white. I used to be pre-maturely grey but now I am pre-maturely white haired. I have however gotten the senior discount at most fast food restaurants. LOL Well, you all take care of yourselves.
My new tablet Lenovo charges very quickly (about an hour if completely drained) maybe there is a super duper charger that will work faster?
Yes, I will definitely need to tell my doc about the mold. Now, I cannot get the smell of mold off my nose. I hope it's not because the mold is now clinging to my body while I slept. I'm going to use the wipes to wipe my legs and arms down. The smell is bugging me like crazy.
Now if you're thinking about cleaning your mom's home, heck NO!!! I'd rather stand by and watch you do it - as in show me the ropes. I'll take notes so I know just how you like things done. =)
My challenge is trying to figure out how to reach the top walls. I will need to find a sturdy chair to stand on. I'm afraid of heights. I cannot step on the 2nd rung of a ladder. Just stepping on the first step, and my legs start shaking. So, I'm still brainstorming. BUT, This morning, I finally realized that I'm going to have to Pay one of my numerous nieces or nephews to do it. With my fear of heights and my neck pain, there's no way I can do this without ending up with severe neck pain and hence severe headache. So, that is my game plan on attacking the mold - buy gloves and mop, pay someone to do the work.