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Book, send that Brothers show an email. I am overwhelmed!
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Glad - I can understand why you're having problem sleeping. On top of caregiving, and your siblings, you're now worrying about your house. At first I didn't understand the seriousness this can cause. My brother's house next door - a bedroom - had a fire that started in the closet. The firemen used the hose to stop the fire. No structural damage. I just figured the same with yours. Except today, I just remembered that the houses in the states are mostly made of wood not cinderblocks. And I recall an episode on that Brothers renovation show, they discovered that the house had at one time had a fire. They immediately checked to see if the wiring and the structure was not damaged - not just be the fire but also the water. So, I'm really really hoping that you get good news with your house.

57twin - It's great news that both eyes' surgery is covered. I also hope the lasek surgeries come out successful.

DHil - thanks for the advice.

Ha! I caught dad digging his hand inside the pants. He snuck a look at me while digging in. I only looked up because I smell poop and looked up in time to see his hand inside.
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Great to hear some good news for a change 57twin... hope your surgeries go ok and not having to wear glasses. I can only dream..... that's cool that your dad was going to 'help'..... sounds like he enjoyed his outing with you..... let us know about your surgery.
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Hello all!
I had my cataract eye appt yesterday and both eyes qualify under insurance to get corrected. Whew I thought maybe only my left eye. My husband and I decided to spend the extra money for laser cataract surgery and I will also be spending more to have the astigmatism laser surgery with toric lenses. Included in this very costly surgery is a LASIK treatment to further tweak my vision after the cataract surgery. The doctor believes that I should be able to see long distance without glasses and perhaps OTC reading glasses. Tuesday is my exam for the laser measurements and I also need a physical within a week of surgery despite having one a month ago. Left eye surgery is 9/10.
I had been mentioning this to dad which I know he forgets but when I told him last night when I visited with him he volunteered his help like mowing the lawn or anything and then said he probably should stay where he is until all surgeries are done. funny guy!
I picked him up this morning and we ran some errands and stopped and bought him some new Green Bay Packer football clothes and had lunch which he had a couple beers before I bought him back to AL. He seems to be adjusting well there still only 2 men which I wish there was at least another. My bad move is I ran out of his checks so I have to go online to his bank account to figure out how to pay next months AL costs.
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Dear gladimhere + bookluvr --- Life does throw a lot of curves to navigate through, does it not…
In cruising thru your texts I can only say … you both ought to get medals… and thank you for sharing, …which makes one feel that " I am not alone "…, gives one ideas on " how to's " … and which gives one the strength to " keep navigating " and lastly gives one insight, as in : " Oh, here I thought I was just being silly, when that sound seemed so loud the other day that I stuck my fingers into my ears, getting some funny looks, as I walked out of that auditorium…yet no-one else seemed to be bothered by the sounds…??? " Maybe I too should see an ENT-specialist…!!!.... Maybe the dizziness I have experienced lately is related to the noise amplification, rather than to the Beta-blocker SEs [side-effects] I am on,… but that is the point… it takes a Doc to sort it out…!!! … Thanks for causing me to think a step further !!!...
Bookluvr… please also check the SEs of your medications online, if you are on a regularly taken med.… that sheet of paper the pharmacy sticks in your bag when you buy meds, is not always all there is to it… In researching my Beta-blocker which comes with a diuretic [HCTZ] I have found out that my B/P might be lowered by that med., but so is the function of my Kidneys due to long-term use of the HCTZ. … If I stop that diuretic [Doc tried to change meds once] I bloat and feel bad within a few days due to reduced kidney-function. And the SEs of Beta-blockers are unbelievable… There is an online blog about this med, based in the UK, which I follow…specifically aimed at "Bisoprolol-users".
…. So I suggest this self-research of your Meds in several sites...before you hit the Doc's office, and write down your symptoms and Q's, to expedite Q+As to the doc, and the understanding of what he answers…
There is another change that I find occurring now…
I have Advantage-type Health-insurance… and I have to ask them about which ENTs they are contracted with, and to choose . --- OR:… I I have to call that ENT I may choose and ask if they are contracted with my Insurance….. I do not need the extra $10.-- cost of a referral, by seeing my PCP beforehand…
My PCP does regular Lab-tests when I show up there, but an ENT will want those tests again. That means double the Lab-fees within a short time-span for me and the insurance - mostly hundreds of $ in total… I think that is one reason why Ins.Co.s have dropped the requirement of referrals… to cut cost of double-tests… as they know each Doc wants his own reliable tests…
I do wish you well and quick improvement …!!!
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Book, an ent sounds like a good idea. Several years ago, I had nearly a constant pain in the back of my head together with the sound of kettle drums in my ears. Testing showed that the sinuses in my head were completely blocked. At first I thought that I had developed am allergy to something and I haven't had allergy issues with anything. Testing determined that I had deviated septum making it impossible for my sinuses to drain. This required surgery to straighten out my sinuses and the healing took a long time, the bleeding was unbelievable and gross! Now, only occasionally, I haven't heard the kettle drums or had the headaches in almost two years.

So, yes you should see an ENT maybe you have a fixable problem.

Nearly 4 am here so going to try to get some more sleep, not sleeping well this week. Wondering where I go from here.
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I have a question to you all. Once in a while, sounds are so loud that it hurts my ears. As you know, I've been having headaches a lot from my neck/shoulder. But also, I've noticed that any pressure on the back of my head causes pain - so I cannot drive with my head leaning on the seat. I vacuum our office carpet every Saturday. Sometimes, the sound of the vacuum is soooo loud, I'm whimpering in pain. It really really hurts my head.

Yesterday, the maintenance man was bushcutting. When he saw me, he stopped as I passed him. When I was over 20 feet away, he started bushcutting. OMG! The sound was so loud, it was hurting my head and my ears. I fled up the stairs, even on the 2nd floor the sound was So LOUD, I was whimpering and hurting in my head. Even when I reached the 3rd floor, the sound was like a huge jackhammer inside my head. I arrived on the top with a pounding headache.

It's not all the time but once in a while these sounds are increased dramatically. Yes, I will need to bring this up on my upcoming doctor's appointment (along with not taking the Lipitor) in September. Maybe I will ask for a referral to see an ENT for this.
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As you all know, the elderlies (especially those bedridden ones who don't exercise to circulate their blood) tend to freeze. I used to put on and off and on his sweater. It got too tiring to keep doing this. Then when I change his clothes, his tshirt is soaking wet because he was sweating while wearing the jacket. Without the jacket, his arms were so cold. I then bought one of those sleeveless sleeves that you see sports people wear.

Then his hands were freezing. I bought one of those construction workers gloves that comes as a set. Perfect fit. Now, he's complaining that his ears are freezing. We live in a Pacific island. Where am I going to buy those winter caps? So, I bought a set of 3 defective beanie fleece winter cap for $13.00 in Ebay. I'm hoping it will fit his head and that it won't be too hot for him. If it is, back to searching Ebay and Amazon for an alternative. I have feeling that once we solve the freezing ears, he's going to say that now his nose freezing!
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Jenni - how you feel about your mom is the same how my siblings (and I - once upon a time) feel about our dad. We had a very very dysfunctional childhood - which I'm so surprised that we all grew up intact and not into drugs or crime. My siblings only have bitter memories of the abuses our parents dished out to us while growing up. No love, affections, or hugs. Just ruled by fear. {shrug} It is what it is.
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Oh what a mess this all is - thank you Book and Gladimhere for the comments and suggestions. I'm two states away from mom. She has no one close by and I do all of my 'caring' remotely which means it takes five times as long to go over things over the phone. Been trying to line up low cost resources to help on her end, but it's hilarious - every place I call just offers another list of resources. I just keep getting kicked down the street. I am doing my best to set things up so she can live and care for herself knowing that eventually 'something will happen' and she will no longer be in that gray area, but will be someone that will be declared incompetent who must live in some skilled facility.
I feel sad and tired. I say she is my 'mom' (and she is), but it doesn't feel that way. She is someone that burned her bridges with everyone else in life and at this point, I'm just helping someone who doesn't have anyone else.
Sad truth - I lost respect for her so many years ago, didn't like who she was long before any 'diagnosis', and frankly - can't feel any love for her. This feels like a sick nightmare that I can't wake from.
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Well, I took my folks to a friends picnic today, at a beautiful lake. Mom was going to the car when she tripped and fell. We took to a trip to urgent care.. it;s broken with possible tendon damage, So to the Ortho tomorrow, luckily they could see her so fast! And all my friends are so great! One fixed her glasses,, we got her up, stopped another from calling 911! (Mom would have cussed them out.. she was saying "no 911"..) She is a bit sore, but other than the finger she is OK. It could have been so much worse
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Sitting here reading the posts, listening to my mom sigh on the baby monitor, and I'm still wondering after all this time why my sister, who lives 5 minutes away, never calls or visits....now a groan over the monitor....she's waiting for her dinner....it's groundhog day...
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Hi Jenni, with my dad, I would find it frustrating when I tell him why his monthly income is gone. He just doesn't understand that he makes this much, but he overspent. I can show him the receipts and he would have this blank look. I've learned to just say that he has no money - until next month's paycheck. He no longer understands the concept of spending within his paycheck. All he knows is that he makes this much, and it shouldn't be gone. We just continue to do what we need to do or it ends up much worse if we don't.
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Book I know it's too late for this episode but for future reference a lot of undertakers use Vicks vapor rub under their noses to help block bad smells...I don't know what all you're allergic to, but if Vicks isn't on your list you might try it next time your faced with a big clean up...hang in there. I know you've been at this a lot longer than I did it for MIL...Hugs.
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Cujo was bouncing off the walls last night... and no, no full moon.... just her being her... after the fourth time she stripped her bed and threw everything in the living room... I almost lost it... I put the bedding back on, and shook my finger at her, and in my " you really don't want to f*ck with me" voice... told her DO NOT take that bed apart again...... she didn't.... but she kept pulling Mr.M's blankets off HIS bed !!!! Just about the time I would get her settled, she was up and getting into something else and not using her walker... !!!!! She was still at it when I left this morning.... good thing I don't have to go in tonight, because I wouldn't... I'd quit first... !!!! So after venting about this... it's out of my mind..... am going to enjoy my days off, and if I go back and she is still like this, me and the daughter are going to have a come to Jesus meeting about changing her meds.... or finding someone else.... for what they are paying me.... I DONT THINK SO !!!!!!
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Jenni, so sorry to hear about your mom and it is extremely stressful when our folks get to this point. It sounds as if your Mom is still fairly early stages since she has the financial mess and the ability to figure out how much of her medications she can take without raising red flags to her docs. The drug issue may not last long because one day she will not be able to remember how much she has taken. Mom needs more help especially to keep her meds in a place where she will not be able to take too much. How certain are you that she is somehow controlling how much she takes. This is not typical of the disease and I suspect that Mom really does not understand how to take her meds. It is difficult for most people taking meds to remember if they have taken them or not.

There are pill reminders that are electronic that will dispense the meds at the appropriate time. Medicare will cover for a nurse to come in and setup the meds for her each week. Your Mom needs more help. Check to see what her insurance will cover and get that setup for her. She obviously needs a higher level of care now.
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Ladee, I dread the day when dad reaches that stage where Cujo's in. I can just see him trying to get off the bed - forgetting that he cannot walk. I watched in YouTube some of the sundownings. The person does it over and over, shuffling and shuffling. All night. Just reading your night makes me more exhausted.

If dad can just sleep a little, I can do a switcharoo on his bottle. Darn, he's putting on his sun glasses. I won't be able to see if he's awake or not. 9pm and I'm soooo tired.

Veronica, my nose doesn't work well. I can only smell something when it gets really stinky. So I was eating but didn't smell it. Only about 5 minutes after I was done, did I smell it so strong. From how hard it was for me to scrub his fingernails, it seems he has touched his poop for a while now. Guess it wasn't sis job to clean him up. Wait for me to get home, find and cook my own dinner. Wash the dishes in the sink, then change his pamper. sigh.....
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Poor ladee another restless night.
Could you take Cujo out and walk her up and down the road to tire her out. tell her the cows are out and you need to go find them. Make her use her walker and you use a cane other wise you will be the one picked up by the paramedicsit isn't time for the full moon again is it?
Today is the begining of your respit so sleep and enjoy.
Work on the plans for your new home nothing like looking forward to something to take your mind off the present.
Hugs - no chocolate for you today - you thought too many bad words you didn't call Cujo the past few nights.
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Book that's horrible but at least he was touching his ears not yours.
Can you wear a mask and sprinkle something like lavender water on it.
How on earth could you even eat with that smell wafting around the house?
If he keeps this up you will have to buy a hazmat suit!!!!!
Hugs.
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ayayayay book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dab some nice-smelling hand cream under your nose before you begin? xxx
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OMG!!! He's touching his poopy fingers into both of his ears!!!!
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Just got home late from work - 730pm. Just finished eating dinner. And dad just finished touching his poop - fingers and clothes. Smell Galore!!!! I just finished stuffing my stomache. I RARELY change messy poop after eating. I've always been smart enough to wait until AFTER I change him. I soooo hope I don't throw up. Time to go and change his whole bedding, blankets, clothes and wipe down the railings,......
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Hmmmm... How am I the 'caregiver' ding today?...I took the day off from work today to work 7 hours straight on mom's financial mess. I followed that up with a call to mom ... from her voice, it was obvious that she was being 'recreational' with her medications again. Nice. Nice to know that while I spend my time working for her life, she continues to make really bad decisions. At least if she ends up in some crappy nursing home at the end of this I will know I did everything I could to steer her elsewhere.
(Oh, and yes, the doctors know she does this at times with her meds, but she's smart enough to stay in the 'gray' area where she can't be declared incompetent)
So - today I'm frustrated and at the end of my rope (still).
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Ladee, send Cujo to my house, there is plenty that she could do there!
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Cujo has not slept for three nights in a row....an hour after she goes to bed, she gets up, gets dressed, If I take her clothes out of the bedroom she goes to the closet and gets more, and then proceeds to b*tch and moan if I don't go wake up MrM....... keeping her quite and babysitting her for 12 hours is getting old.... all I could think about last night was all of you who do this all day long, and then all night long...... If ya'll ever think for one moment that I don't think about ya'll while I am getting to drive off and go home, you would be wrong...... I could not do what you 24/7/365 caregivers do......such respect I have for each of you.... !!!!!!!!
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Glad, what a terrible thing to happen. I am so sorry. I do think it is time for your friend to stop smoking!
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Tonight, we just had a power outage. Fortunately, I was on the laptop. So when the whole house went completely black, I had only 3 minutes to get to my flashlight. My laptop battery can only last 3 minutes. Then I turned on all the lanterns. I have like 5 of them strategically placed - 3 in the livingroom, 1 in the hallway and 1 in the bathroom. I was so disappointed on how dim they all were (except bathroom was burned out) since I wanted to change dad's pamper. I could barely see him.

I am now searching on Ebay and Amazon for a very bright emergency light that turns on when the power goes off. I'm also looking for hanging lanterns that is Bright, which I can hang on dad's trapeze bar to light his area while changing his pamper.
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Glad, I'm so sorry about the house. It's great that your son and friends can help you with the house.

I would criticize your friend for doing that except... I think I was just as bad as him. Let's just say that bedridden mom needed that large oxygen machine 24/7. Every time the power went out, I would like candles with matches and place it strategically around the livingroom. We had a generator that was only used for her suction and oxygen machine. I never connected the icon of the NO SMOKING with lighting a candle using matches. // Just reading what happened to your friend and your house - made me realize how very very lucky dad, mom and I were. We could have caused a fire.

I hope all goes well with you and yours, Glad.
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Oh Glad, I am so sorry to hear about your home... I have had a house fire and it is a horrible thing...... I am grateful no one was hurt, and pray your insurance is going to be able to get things back to normal for you.... sending you hugs of comfort this morning.... please keep us updated.....
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OH Glad I'm so sorry to hear about that...do hope that your insurance can restore it to it's former glory, and that your friend now believes all the warnings about any kind of open flame around oxygen...we have a friend that was a fireman for years and he says that even getting a high concentration of oxygen in the bedding is dangerous and you should never use any kind of Vaseline product near the face of someone on oxygen because it can ignite...
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