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Red I am so sorry your shoulder is not behaving itself .I am afraid surgery may be in your future. they will be able to repair and shorten ligaments and tendons that have been streched or torn.
Not a nice prospect but realistically once you have recovered from the initial assult you will be feeling a lot better and be more functional than the same period doing what you are doing now. At least they will be doing it under anesthetic.
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Austin the site does seem to have changed and notifications are not reaching me so I have to come to my news feed and find all kinds of things I have missed
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Wanting, did you ever leave a little kid some where like a new preschool and they screamed when you left. Mom may be doing the same thing, check with the nurses to see how she is once you have left. if she continues with the same behaviour for say more than half an hour as them to get a sedative ordered. often family are advised not to visit a newly admitted elder in a nursing home for maybe 2 weeks to give them time to settle in. Please don't feel guilty you would not have done this if she had been safe and happy in your home.
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Wanting -you did what had to be done-keeping her home in an unsafe environment would have been the wrong thing to do-do not feel -I am wrong I can not tell you how to feel-but know you did not do anything wrong-I practically lives in NH's -my husband was in 15 times the last years and I never say a resident crying because they were there after a few days-they adjust quickly and you know they are being cared for-the next time you visit she will feel differently-think about how many parents want to send their kids off to kindergarten but they have to. We know when it is time for a NH-my late husband said at the time-I do not want to be in a NH - I told him this time it was not his decision to make-he had refused adult day care and I let him but down the road he could not refuse-it was what it was-the right decision-you will still be a big part of her life overseeing her care-give it time.
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Wanting, it was not a mistake otherwise she would not be there. Her doctor had to agree with the placement. Most will have a difficult time adjusting. Give it time and allow yourself time to make the adjustment by staying away for awhile, two weeks is what many facilities request. Allow them to get to know your Mom and provide for her needs. Hopefully next time you see her she would have started to make the adjustment and doing well. No reason for you to feel guilty. And when my turn comes I will read my own words and feel good about the amount of care that I was able to provide for my Mom.

Relax and find something fun to do today that you couldn't have done before.
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I made the biggest mistake of my life. I feel like I have aged a hundred years. The guilt is CRUSHING. Yesterday I left Mom at the nursing home. She cried, screamed and begged us not to leave her there.
What am I going to do? Will this nightmare ever end? Or does it just get worse and worse til I die of a stroke?
I want to go get her and bring her HOME. I know it's wrong and it's not safe for her to be here and she wasn't happy at all here...but at least she was with me!
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I have noticed a change on AC since coming back from vacation last month-I heard AC wants us to stay on topic but good grief we talk about our lives as caregivers-it isn't pretty but it is our lives untarnished and real. Book I agree changing your position at work would help and get up and walk around at least once an hour.
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Ha! Glad. I had to do that with the DYS thread. I didn't know how long it got since I last read there. It was 450am, couldn't sleep. So I figured it's a good time to read DYS. I think it was 550am when I realized I still have more to read and I didn't fall asleep like I usually do - because the emotions from the posts I was reading was affecting me. So, I purposely put the kindle down, turned my back on it, and finally fell asleep until my alarm went off at 610am.

I've been restless lately. This site is not holding my attention like it used to. My book is not holding my attention, either. Been channel surfing lately. I think I'm getting shopaholic withdrawals. Last night, I spent hours window shopping on Amazon for books. I have my to-buy list but... realistically I cannot afford to spend regular book prices. It's more like Wish List. sigh.. anyway, I have lots of unread paperback, hardcover and ebooks to read. A Lot!!!

Red - I hope that your shoulder problem is not permanent. That would really limit what you can do - or make you think ahead before doing something that would make it pop out.
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Book, how in the world did I miss the whole hair coloring thing? Asleep at the switch, I guess. You have a hairdresser in Colorado? Let me know next Tim you come in for one is those appointments, I will pick you up at the airport! I really would like to meet a hairdresser that is worth traveling that far for!

I was your niece is your hairdresser? LOL!

Just had to let you know how very lost I am on this thread right now, and I don't know why, that is the scary part.

I even missed the comment Dr. Gladimhere!

Thank you very much. Have reading to catch up with, I guess.
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Checking in..... the back pain is moving around like a demon possessed with fire....... now in my hip and back....... I absolutely do not have time for this...... glad I am off for a few days, and I can get sick of my grumpiness and change my sucky attitude......
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Book, can you lay your hands on a bar stool? One of the high ones, with a footrest? Or failing that discreetly remind someone in charge at work that repetitive strain injury and back pain cost companies SUCH a lot of money in compensation…

Seriously, it is only reasonable to expect to be comfortably seated at work. Hope you can get something done about it. Hugs.
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Guess I will go in to work tonight..... Dr gave me some powerful pain meds so I was able to relax my back and actually get up without scaring my cat ..... slept good last night... so onward on the CG trail... short check, but hey, had no choice but to take care of myself...

Hope everyone had a good weekend and had some quite time to drink a cup of coffee without hearing noise...... hugs and chocolate to you all.
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Book, I also have "tinsel" so I get highlights and they grow out less noticable for about 3 months, and my hair grows fast. Good luck, and too bad its not a work related tax deduction...LOL
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Hi!!! I'm back. Feeling tired. Dealing with my Dad who wants to go home. I can't convince him that he is at home. He says I'm not telling the truth. It' s not easy. Today is the fourth day telling me the same thing. He's also asking for his mom. He wants a kiss from her. I told him she's not here, but I could give him the kiss. He agreed. Last week I had to take a short vacation with the family. He was asking when was I coming back. I didn't know Alzheimer was so terrible. The stress is horrible. I feel the one with Alzheimer is me. Forgetting everything, loosing things.
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Red, hate to hear this may not be the end of your shoulder problems... please let us know what happens.... and I hate it for you that you want to be busy and can't do the things you want.....

My doctor agrees that I need more exercise to strengthen those muscles.... when I can walk more than ten feet without wanting to just lay down on the floor, I will try to find some entry level exercise to do.... can't afford for this to keep happening...

Have some good pain meds so will be able to go back to work tomorrow..... waaa.....
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Last round of physical therapy today...with instructions to see the doctor about getting an MRI...she said my shoulder is extremely unstable (no joke, since it popped back out of place during my last therapy session)...she said that should not be the case with all of the exercises I've done and the time that has passed...I have most of the range of motion back...some with a little pain but at one point the stupid thing just pops out (with a lot of PAIN) I have to push on a ball from 6 different positions 30 times each and then lift 5 pound hand weights in 3 different positions 30 times each, twice a day...I was finally able to raise my hand over my head and use both of them to do my hair 2 days ago...I've done the exercises faithfully, I'm tired, cranky, going nuts because I can't get all the stuff done that I need to do...Everyone...take care and hugs...I'm so grateful this happed now instead of when MIL was depending on me to care for her...LadeeM hope the doctor appointment goes well and he can help you find some relief...being in pain is no way to have to spend your time.
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Book I do not think the home coloring kits are too harsh thousands of women use them -I think I would go with highlights -less expensive and usually look nice.
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Book, for being my age, I have very few gray hairs...... but Im not going to color my hair...... I've earned the right to glow in the dark !!!!

yes about the exercise..... just stretching now helps....and we never give our self time to heal or we just don't get the luxury of time to heal....I know that missing work is stressing me out.... what a vicious cycle I put myself in at times.....the more stressed I get, the more I tense up.....some days I just want off this roller coaster... it's not fun anymore...
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Oops... my hairdresser Niece... I don't have a hairdresser in Colorado. Boy, that would be like spending $2000.00 airfare just to have my hair done! =)
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Since my last business luncheon meeting with fellow business associates, several of them asked me if I ever thought of dying my hair. Yes, I have lots of gray hair. And it's not the pretty gray color. Now I guess I'm going to have to do something about it - work wise situation. Gosh, to just have my hair professionally partial highlights is going to cost me about $50-$60! I know that we can buy the hair color solution at the store but I understand from my hairdresser in Colorado that those solutions are harsh. She refuses to let her mom use those. Depressing to spend so much money just so that my grays are not obvious. What a waste...
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Yes, Dr. Gladimhere! I will google and find Simple exercises to strengthen the back. Now, the question is - do I have the Will Power to continue to do it?

I have an idea of what's straining my back. When I lean over the shower to get the warm water for dad's pamper changing. When I sleep on my side - in fetal condition. When I shave my leg trying to shave behind the legs. For sitting hours at the office - hunched over position with my head angled up to the computer. (If I lean back, my legs would be dangling from the office chair and my hands would barely be touching the keyboard. If I lower the chair so that I can touch the floor, my head would be more angled up to look at the computer.) And the bending over as I change dad's pamper - tugging and pulling.

It's only 10:20pm and I'm sooo tired. I rushed my work because my 2 bosses will be on vacation for the next 9 days. I will be manning the office alone. This means leaving the office late - like 7pm. I'm going to be very exhausted and stressed. and grouchy. Boss said that if the airline's flight back home is on time, I can get next Friday off - so that I can have a long 4-day weekend. I will Pretend to go to work on Friday, so that I don't have to stay home and babysit dad. Since Monday is a legal holiday, oldest sis is off and I'm covering for her. So, it's just really a 3-day weekend for me.
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Be careful shaving those legs, Book!

OK, I will tell you a story.

About six years ago I herniated a couple of disks in my back while getting a 30 pack of beer out of the cooler at the liquor store. I have never been in that kind of pain before of since. Even having children was not that bad, at least that had a definite end. But the back thing went on forever, it seemed.

Every once in awhile, I reinjure my back in the area of these disks. The last time was a result of twisting just wrong while shaving my legs. Once a person injures their back they have to be very careful, work to strengthen it or it will continue to happen.
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Thanks Book, have been doing some stretching too, not helping much.... am going to the Dr today.....when you can't set, stand or lay without pain, time to get something done.....

I think one thing that is contributing is the fact that I have always been a hands on caregiver, up, moving, lifting, in other words.... working..... not setting....I come home after that 12 hours and go straight to bed....get up and do it again.... not getting enough exercise for sure....probably need a new mattress too..... I just know that I do not have time to be taking off work for this.... but can't tend to Cujo if I can't get out of the chair without screaming, and I sure can't stand for all those hours.... so to the Dr. it is...... d*mn it... can think of so many places that money can go..... oh well, just life on life's terms I guess....

Hugs to all of you today.... for whatever you are going thru, know I am thinking of you and prayers for all..... love and hugs, and while I'm out today, getting some chocolate...... !!!!!!!
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I've been waking up with back pains lately - from sleeping on my sides. I never had this problem before. But now it's happening every night. I now have to do some very light stretching exercises using the 2 lbs weights. Every morning, as I do the arm lifts, the row boat strokes, the bending down and then up, etc... my bones from all over from the elbow, to the shoulders to the back bones are all clicking and popping. Just yesterday, my dad heard it and exclaimed, "what is that?!" I told him it's my bones popping - from arthritis. You should have seen me last night trying to shave my right leg while showering. I had absolutely no problem on the left leg. Right leg was a totally different story - severe sharp back pain. I kept trying to find a way to shave the leg without triggering the pain. Finally succeeded in shaving it. When I got dressed, I did more stretching exercises since my bones are acting up again.

Ladee, you and I and all caregivers, need to make time to de-stress our body from the stress of caregiving/work. I guess for me, reading is not enough as a de-stresser. I hope you're feeling better - as in less pain today than yesterday.
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Thanks Jessie...... laying around and reading till my eyes bulge is already getting old... but like you said... time...... hugs to ya !!!
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This is terrible, ladeeM. The only thing I know that helps the hurt back is time. I hope it gets better fast. Until then, lots of healing vibes are coming your way.
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Thanks ya'll..... I hate having to depend on anyone to help me..... I am going to be some poor caregivers nightmare one day....bless her heart.....

The drive home this morning was hard, getting out of the car a show of pure will and determination to get in the house...... so strange... been lifting and transferring for years.... and bottle of water kicked my *ss !!!!

Just staying in bed,using Theragesic and taking something for pain.... I also realize I have got to start walking and getting some exercise..... I am not used to all this setting....... so that is on my 'to do list' when I can walk again without sounding like a wounded animal...

No hot water bottle CM, but do have a heating pad.... will do the visualization MsV and I do not smoke in bed... like you said, no hot shower, but getting in and out of a shower sounds painful....

Daughter called to check on me.... ya sure, and did get someone to fill in... amazing what she can do when she is put on the spot.... I don't feel a bit guilty.... when people do not have a back up plan, it is none of my business....

So, just wanted to check in and tell ya'll thanks for the concern.... will be sleeping here any time now..... and then hoping I don't have to go to the bathroom...... instead of 'I've fallen and I can't get up', its more like "I'm on the toilet and I can't get up"..... I would die there as opposed to calling my son or 911,,,,,, lol.....

Hope everyone is ok and had a good day.... love and hugs..... and I'll send son out tomorrow for my chocolate fix......
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Oh Ladee M not again. I am sending you a soothing massage. Imagine soft hands
rubbing warm oil into those tense muscles. Then watch the cloud of pain leave your body and gently drift out of the door to be blown away in the evening breeze.
Refil CMs hot water bottle and get some sleep.

The hot shower is a good idea Book but Ladee does not have running water!

Hershey's kisses tonight Ladee. Don't smoke in bed
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Big hug Ladee M. Have you got a hot water bottle to hold against your back? Soothing if not a cure. Wish you better x
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Hi AS... sorry really running late.
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