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Hi dloon! I can't talk long because I need to get ready for work. I sure don't envy your position with regards to your father's poopy stage. I dread it when I smell it from bedridden dad.

LadeeM, ouch on the back pain. I hope it doesn't carry on for several days like backpains usually do. Sleep. Then maybe try a very very hot shower.
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Love, hugs, chocolate and ICE CREAM! So sorry you are hurting.SLEEP!
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Sorry to hear about your pains!! I hope you are getting better soon... Ladee you ever use support belt for protecting your back? Myself off and on have a muscle aches, so I used BLUE EMU cream that makes me feel great...
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Oh Ladee, sorry to hear that! Take it easy an hope you feel better soon. It goes to show that this family needs a back up plan. Things are not always going to happen in the summer, when convenient for daughter.
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How am I today? In a lot of pain.... bent down to get a bottle of water last night, and OMG, that same place in my back went haywire..... was already at work, so I stayed.... big mistake..... can hardly walk and getting up from a setting position is almost impossible..... I have a good pain threshold.... this is kicking my *ss, excuse the pun.... sat on the toilet for 20 minutes because I couldn't get up.....and, and , and, I am out of minutes on my phone......!!!!! Needless to say, going to work tonight is out of the question......
The daughter is a teacher and she started work today.... she is not going to be happy.... but hey, neither am I...... and I sooooo can not afford to miss work..... going back to bed before I depress myself.... hugs to everyone.
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I can't put into words how grateful I am to have found this site. Just reading ten or so of the comments has given me hope that I can do this, and just an hour ago I was ready to find a nursing home for my Father. In less than twenty four hours he has had an *accident* five times, and I have cleaned him, his bed, and the bathroom each and every time. I now have a pile of sheets, towels, bed clothes, etc, all reeking of crap to launder, but I know I'll get thru it. Thank you all for sharing and giving me hope again.
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Hannah, I hope you're alright. I hope you listened to the good people here and got yourself to a hospital. Anytime someone throws up blood, it's time to see the doc. Imo, it's also time to think of alternative arrangements for your grandma. You're in over your head. Your grandma needs to be evaluated and probably medicated if she isn't already. Please let us know how you're doing.

Reading though your posts, everyone. It helps.

Have a great night, ya'll!
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24 long days until my eye surgery. The days are dragging..... Today was dark overcast all day and while I did accomplish some small tasks I call it my low vision day as my vision is noticeably
blurry. days like this my attention span is short.
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Hannah i truly hope you get to see these posts and find comfort that we really care and it gives you some strength to carry on. So please reach back out to us
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Thanks everyone. A little dancing went a long way! Even putting on music at home and knocking into your furniture is fun! As I experience my past hurts from this family I can feel my feelings. That's a real first for me I think. That's why being present in the body, fully, through dance, massage, a real hug, swimming, whatever you do, is so healing. With healing comes self acceptance, with self acceptance, comes a renewal in energy, with energy comes purpose and with purpose comes love and living in a deeper way.We all are moving through our journeys and hopefully we will raise our arms up in the air with joy and triumph.

I've come a long way, baby! And I sure have moments when I am very disturbed inside and wonder how can I ever get "home" to myself. Caregiving: you can run the whole gamut a few times in one day! Right?
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Hopefully she took everyone's suggestions and is in the hospital..... and finding a place for her parent.....
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Has anyone heard from Hannah from a few days ago? Or should I assume she is one of the "trolls" we hear about? I am a bit worried...
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Judda, the conductor Thomas Beecham (I've probably spelled that wrong) said testily to an interviewer: "you have to remember that Beethoven's later symphonies were written by a deaf man…" One gathered he didn't care for them.

Personally I love them, but I also love Gilbert & Sullivan and Tchaikovsky so you can't look to me for musical taste. And Abba. And Marvin Gaye. And Blondie…

I remember watching a Christmas revue on TV once, can't remember who the hosts were, this was back before The Flood, and the next scene came on of an idyllic Hawaiian beach. Palm fronds fanned. Maidens swayed. Waves lapped onto the sands, and on the seventh washed up a giant clam shell. Out of which burst Bette Midler launching raucously into "Oklahoma!"

I still think it was the funniest thing I've ever seen and I love her for it.

Book, I can't imagine anything more crushing than being told you sound terrible when you're singing. Having said that, my daughter sails round the house (just as I used to) accompanying her iPod at the top of her voice and it can get a bit migraine-inducing. But I wouldn't dream of inhibiting her. Singing is SO GOOD for you. It lifts the spirits and ventilates the blood stream. Turn your dad's tv volume up higher and sing away!

Remember: talent does what it can. Genius does what it must. Beethoven had to be turned round to see his audience after the first performance of the Choral because he couldn't hear the rapturous applause. Just because you'll never suffer that kind of pain doesn't mean you should deprive yourself of a God-given pleasure.
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Judda, you can't use Beethoven as an example of being tone deaf. He was a Genius. Born as one. I'm not even close to being a genius. Anyway, Beethoven may have been deaf, but he heard these music in his head. And he was able to compose those beautiful music using vibrations.
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Bookluvr: Beethoven was deaf and composed symphonies. I also saw a real life video on a guy in a nursing home and it showed how when he was handed headphones and the music he loved he came to life. It was incredible! You must have talents of some kind. Rely on them to give back to yourself and to feel gratitude for the gifts inside yourself that you have been given. No one can give you the full measure of joy and love that already resides in your soul. Sometimes when you get beat down from caregiving and other things, all it takes is to concentrate and indulge in that talent or interest. You don't even have to be specially talented: just paint, just dance, just walk, whatever it is. But I can't emphasize how much doing these things, even for 10 minutes, diffuses my dangerous anger and sadness that can take away my health.

Lately I am feeling incrediblly healthy! I also take the "super green drink powder" from Trader Joe's in juice and a with little flaxseed. The chlorella and other good things in it give me energy. I also had some mercury fillings removed and replaced with white fillings. Seems like days after that I felt better than I had in years.
Hope this all helps someone.

Hugs to you all.
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Arthur Bergeron is an expert elder lawyer and offers a free half hour consultation: maybe he'll do one on the phone. Look him up. He's in Marlborough, and also in Worcester, Mass and is with Merrick O'Connell Attorneys at Law. I did some video for him. Really great guy!
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My singing is worse. Because I don't hear the rhythm, I'm really really off-keyed in my singing. My dad finally put a stop to my impromptu singing. He said that I really sound awful. So, now I only sing in the car with just me and the radio and no passengers to torment within hearing distance.
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I love to dance..... afraid I will injure something now,,, but dance like a fool in the car....
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Book like you I am completely tone deaf so never could find the beat to dance. if i had a strong partner that lifted me off my feet I was OK but thinking for myself and remebering the steps no way. they there were those business dos where you were expected to dance with the bosses how I hated that.

Judda what a wonderful way to let your spirit soar.
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Assandace so sad for Mom but you have been a wonderful daughter. Rest now and face the new reality when you have had time to let it sink in. Hugs
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Judda rock on! Although i don't get to do it anymore, or at least right now, I love to dance. I lived thru you for the moment and so glad you enjoyed yourself. You deserve it.
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*card exchange*, not care exchange.... you know what I mean....
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Judda, I smiled reading your post and felt some freedom just knowing you were enjoying yourself...... happy you had a great time.... and let us know about the 'care exchange'.... hmmmm, never know....

Mom may not care that you had fun, but we do and are happy you got to 'fly' free for a little while...
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Judda, I typed your 5-letter word and the kindle auto changed it to Judea. I'm glad you enjoyed the concert. I envy anyone who can dance. I have no ears for hearing the music's beat. Found that out in middle school music class. Even tried to find it by reading the music's notes and still failed that. So, just remember that there are those who could have joined the fun but didn't have the courage and there are those who wished they could hear the beat and feel that freedom of letting go to the music. =)
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Judda! you go girl.. so glad you had fun!
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I rediscovered my favorite medicine for stress: dancing! The blues band in the town square was wonderful: top notch: James Montgomery Band. Many baby boomers were there. I was the only one at first who danced: all by myself, grooving and so happy! I felt like I was on a cloud of joy. Finally a few people danced and several young children bopped around: one baby kept crawling unto the stage! I got plenty of exerise and even had a nice conversation with a nice man who was also single. We exchanged cards.

I am realizing more and more that since my mom is more and more self centered she is no longer capable of being interested in me or my welfare, or my activities. She never asks me about anything and just yaks on and on non-stop about herself. It's so lonely to have to be with someone who constantly berates and puts you down in so many ways. I am torn between enjoying my freedom when I am not with her and wanting to be with a person whom I can have a real 2 way conversation with. It's so damaging to be with an aging parent who gets off on having to put me down so that she looks good. At least that is what she thinks.

At the outdoor concert, I was myself: totally giving myself permission to shine without disturbing the show or others. The band thanked the "beautiful dancers".
and people came up to me and said how much they enjoyed watching me dance.
Felt so good to shine in my own way, without fear and judging. I wish more people had had that courage. But they watched the band and me and the babies groove to the music and by the end of the concert, everyone looked happier and freer.
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Assandy, I'm so sorry. {{{HUGS}}}
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Mom's going to rehab on Monday.. No turning back.. This will be her new home..
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A&A, Sorry about your Mom, I have been through the unable to walk caused by a UTI. Hopefully they will get her on antibiotics that will take care of the problem. Or it could be that the UTI has caused secondary infections that will be more difficult to treat. Thinking of you and Mom.
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Brack, You need an attorney! Go to a site AVVO to tell your story. You may even be able to find an attorney that would do it pro bono, or wait until settlement. You should receive replies from a number of attorneys at no charge.
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