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Assa, I hope you are in bed resting and read this later... nothing you can do right now.... get some sleep, some alone time....let them know you can not bring her home until she can walk.... let them figure it out..... they will keep her for a least a day.... stand up and demand it...... you are worn out..... sending lots of hugs
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Brack, I'm so sorry. Did you already sign the house over? I really wish you hadn't. I know that they've put the pressure on you to do this. But if your mom did this while still in her right mind, it's yours. What I'm worried about is this. If you give the house back to your mom, they will get her to sign it over to them. They may either keep it or sell it and use the money for their own use and not your mom's. If you still have it, then when the time comes if and when your step siblings abandon her, you can move her back to her own Or you can sell it and use the money for her care.

If you're mom is not using the public defender, you can use one. You should be able to qualify for one. But if you're mom got to the public defender... you're in a very tough spot. Whatever happens, you NEED a lawyer. Because there's no guaranty that by giving the house back to your mom that your siblings would drop any of the charges. Please find a way. Here on island, families have been known to sign over their family land just to hire a lawyer for their family. I'm not saying that you should do that. I just don't know what else to say to you. I'm grasping at straws. And I'm worried that your step siblings may not be satisfied with just you signing over the house. They may try to accuse you of also stealing money from your mom. Hence, the need to hire a lawyer. {{Hugs}}
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Feeling used, unappreciated,lonely tired, betrayed by family and by my mom who has chosen to take me to court. I have sacrificed career I have had financial loss, no social life in
Order to care for her for almost most of her life and still her caretaker until
today.I do not have the money for a lawyer to fight in court to continue to
prove the false alligations against me
what she believes is right for her. I am
emotionally spent physically and
spiritually. My hands are tied. Now it's
about my siblings inheritance and they
have not been there every time she hasbeen sick. She has listened to those
that has not lifted a finger to help her
while they stand with her in the court
room. It all comes down to money and
not her care. I am still in shock and un
belief that it has come to this. My mom put her home in my name several years ago to make sure that she had a place
to live and to die in, and now my
siblings once they found out that the
home was in my name the fighting
began. My mom has mild dementia,
diabetes, heart problems etc.
I have moved out of the home for my
own sanity for the environment has
been toxic for some time. All I can do
at this point is to sign the home back to
her and my step siblings do what they
feel best for her. It is what it is. I have
Read suggestions how to handle
difficult parents. Put the truth of the
matter is you can love with all your
heart and yes it hurts when you have
sacrificed so much because of your
Iove for them but some things are out
of your control. You just pray, forgive
and keep loving them right where there
are until what is destined comes to
past.
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Assandy, fever - infection from somewhere. I hope they figure out what's causing it and have the means to deal with it. It's scary if she comes out of the hospital as no longer able to walk. They might try rehab. Or it could be temporary due to a possible UTI. Too many scenarios. So, just take it one day at a time until the doctor figures out what's wrong with your mom. {{HUGS}}
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AandA, sorry to hear what's happening. They'll keep her in until they get the results at the very least, won't they? Big hug to you. Can you get to bed and get some sleep? Nothing you can do at the moment until the medics know what's going on.
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Well brought Mom to ER twice this week. Yesterday she was admitted.

She was brought there for a suspected UTI. Put on meds brought home. She didn't improve. Yesterday she fell, so I had to call 911. She now has fever and is so weak she can't walk without assistance.. They are doing their tests...

If she can't walk, I just can't bring her home..

I am emotionally and physically exhausted.. Her dementia has advanced rapidly.

I'm so confused..
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Praying for you Hannah, please listen to everyone and call 911 right now. When you are at the hospital ask to talk to the social worker and tell her everything that has been happening with your situation. I don't get by here as often as I used to but I remember your earlier posts - no one should be in the position you are in. You deserve a shot at a decent life and there are other ways for your grandmother to have care without yours being destroyed. It's unfortunate that your mother is unable to take actions that would lift this from you, but if you get the hospital social worker involved the others can help. Wishing you well across the miles.
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Hannah, please listen to them. I know that you know that you're in deep medical trouble. Should I call or not? If I don't call, I get my wish (of death). Yet, there's another part of you that doesn't want to die. I know. I've been there. Do this for YOU, not for your mom or grandma.

If you call 911 and they take both of you, then when you're released, you can refuse to bring grandma home with you until they or your mom figure out what to do with her. Psyche evaluation, medication to control her violence.
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Hannah call 911 this very minute. You have a serious brain injury. Let the EMTs come and take you and grandma You can't manage her in the car alone plus it is not safe for you to drive you may loose consciousness or have a seizure.
you may have to file charges against grandma so the police take her for a psychiatric evaluation. Please do it now people here really care and don't want to see something bad happen to you. call 911
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Hannah, if you are vomiting blood call 911. And your Mother! If my daughter was as sick as you I;d want to know NOW! I agree, when you call tell them Gma can not be left alone and let it roll as it rolls. If you pass out you are no good to Gma. Can anyone come and help? How old are you?
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Hannah, you need to get yourself to the ER. Take grandma with you tell them about the outburst and tell them you cannot care for her any longer.

A story, a neighbor, young, probably in her 40's is diabetic. A couple of years ago her blood sugar got extremely low. She fell down four steps, knocked her head just wrong. Now she is in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. At least you can get yourself to the ER, if you can't call 911 for both of you!
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I'm not doing well... I'm all alone with my grandmother, she attacked me earlier and I couldn't defend myself, I fell and hit the back of my head pretty hard. I can't explain this, she looks so fragile but when she gets aggresive she has so much strength no one can get a hold of her. My mother is so fed up from all this that she left with a relative a couple of days ago, she's supposed to be gone for a week. We were about to move but I got really sick, I've been in a lot of pain and throwing up blood, I don't really know what's wrong, I just feel so sick. Thirty minutes ago I was near the train tracks waiting for the train, I had decided to end this suffering that has been going on for so long but when I saw the train I just froze... Now I'm back to this madhouse, my grandmother is screaming attrocities non stop and there's nothing I can do, I'm also having auditory hallucinations, I don't even know what's worse, her screams or my hallucinations. I'm not sure if I'm going to survive to this night. I'm really sorry for this horribly negative message, I just need to get all this out, I feel like I'm going to explode.
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Well, I am beat!! today Mom and I started to clean out and organize my strorage room ( Big house, no basement, just a big storage room Hubs put shelves and a work bench in.) Holy crap she worked me under the table, and she is 84!! Took a load to Goodwill, pile for auction (maybe) and some stuff Hubs needs to look through. And only 1/3 done. But the done part is looking good, and smells better. We had a mouse infestation a few years ago, and some of the storage room never got washed down. I am dreading getting to the Christmas section...LOL So the Rec Room is a disaster now, but it will all get done... in one day if Mom had her energizer bunny way! However, it took until 11 to get Dad out of his PJs.....
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Before I leave to get ready for my day, you know how it's becoming popular to do that ice bucket challenge? I hope all these people have a healthy heart. I wonder how many would suffer a stroke or heart attack from the sudden onset of icy cold water that you dumped on yourself?????
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FYI, the following week when I placed dad's order, I ordered another set of pills from that same company. That 2nd order came a week later after I placed the order.
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Ladee, I did Hear what you and the others said. But I need to learn things on my own. This way, what I have experienced,will make me very firm in No Longer taking it. I can look the doc in the eyes and say, "NO, I will Not take it. You can prescribe it but I won't pick it up." I'm timid. So, it's very easy to persuade me to do this or that by persuasion, logic or guilt. But if I have suffered from something, it makes me so firm that nobody can make me change my mind. I've had severe tiredness that is very unusual for me. I have high metabolism. To be so exhausted even just for one morning shopping at the mall for the rest of the day AND the next day is very very unusual for me.

It's just that this past week, I noticed how bad my Thinking ability have been skewed. What I Thought I booked his flights, I find I did not. It was such a struggle to do his reservation which shouldn't have taken me all afternoon to do. It was like my brain was sluggish.

What's worse, my dad's order came in and I remember receiving it and even telling him how fast it came. And I cannot find the box or his herbal pills in it!!!! Now, because of this false memories, I'm even doubting if it came in. It's driving me nuts searching and searching for the box - and I can't find it. Did it or did it not come in?
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Book, I had shared with you about the same things happening to me when I was taking Lipitor.......get off of it now, like you said.... you will be amazed that in a few days you start to feel better and better... I also had major muscle cramps while taking that poison....Hope you start to see a difference soon..
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Book, have you considered that it is the stress? You do so much for your dad then continue to work as well.

I have asked docs about the lipitor and dementia. It is a risk benefit comparison. Taking the lipitor will help to prevent strokes, which I agree is a preferable way to die compared with dementia. Strokes can occur as minis and gradually take your brain, and they can be massive then kill immediately. It is those that do not kill quickly that I am afraid of. They will also cause dementia to come on bit by bit. Not much different than developing the disease as my mom has. She has never taken lipitor or anything like that. She is a fairly healthy old broad. I really think that her inactivity through the years, her addiction to sugar, and an indicator gene that did it to her.

L takes Lipitor and has had TIA's in spite of it. He takes Aggrenox in place of a low dose aspirin now.
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Hi Everyone. pamzim - glad that you all had a fun time.

I've decided to quit taking my Lipitor. OMG, this whole week, I've been making some major mistakes at work. I read one thing, but my brain translated it differently. But the worst is NUMBERS. It's such a struggle to understand TIMES. I see 22SEP UA 1082 departs at 1050a, arrival 110pm. And I book these flights and it's not flowing. I even totally did a customer's schedule SKIPPING his home visit and booked him to return home right after the conference. Today, a customer emailed for a flight from Manila to here. I booked it the Opposite way.

And several times, since my doc upped the Lipitor, I was budgeting the cash on separate piles, and the next day, I realized at work that I completely don't know what I did with dad's $300.00! I called sis. No, I only gave her $60. Another time, I put his money with mine. Then the next day, I was so surprised to see that I had more cash than I should have.

I can't even remember that one incident when I completely forgot how to do something. I just stood there staring and trying so hard to remember How to do it. I have to stop taking Lipitor. I don't want to be laid off. And if my potential employer calls my boss for reference about my job with him, I don't want him to say that he had to lay me off because I was forgetful and making serious mistakes. My boss has no problem in telling the truth. He won't whitewash anything.

I was talking to a client today. When I described all this, she gasped and said that she also used to take Lipitor. The same thing that I'm going through, she went thru. she just thought it was old age. Now, as I described what I'm going through, she also went through. I'm quitting it. I'm just going to have to make a point to use the bathroom every hour so that I can climb the stairs up and down several times a day. I'd rather have a heart attack or stroke than to have dementia. OMG, in all my 24 years of caregiving, my 7 siblings were NO help at all - and that's with their own mother and now their own father.
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I am in the middle of a 7 day off spell.. loving it! today I took the parents and friend for me to the casino.. we all had fun, no one lost more than $15 in 5 hours and we had a nice lunch. Mom and dad used to go to AC once a month and stay for a few days.. all compt so not losing the "rent money", they budgeted for it. They used to travel the world , and this is what they can do now. So when Mom wants to go.. we go. Have a nice big casino about 45 minutes away, and I can stand it every month or so! Then a stop for thier ciggies in a cheaper state on the way home.. and a great day for all!! So for today.. I am content
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Ash, I have some neighbors that are always acquiring new things also... but pretty sure they are drug dealers..... not religious zealots !!!!! lol
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Neighbours across the road (only house for a mile) are religious crackpots. I tell people I live on Dingbat Lane. They often unload brand new appliances and furniture - I don't spy on therm but my littlest dog screams out the window at anything that moves. Where do they get the stuff? "Oh, (some big store) was throwing them out"/ Umm, really?
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Windy, your brother is an opportunist who uses religion to get what he wants - freebies as much as possible. A "Good" Christian would... this or that... {rolling my eyes}.

Never heard 'hairy eyeball'. I was visualizing it- literally.
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Finally back on here...got the brother and sis in law break I've pleaded for so long.

Kids, it isn't worth it, if your family is so diametrically opposed as mine is.

My bro and his wife are hyper religious and he's writing a book, so they NEVER leave except to visit mom for two hours. They are camped out in the middle of our home, won't get out of the way to use my office space which I have suggested a 'million' times. Close the doors...gaaah...get out of my space.

Now he's invited some people from Michigan to visit which I put a nix on. At first it's a guy and now three kids and maybe two other people visiting from Africa.

WHAT THE H E DOUBLE toothpicks!!!

Do we have a tent????

We literally just got home from our first time away (three days) in five years and he's parking people here??? And tells me good Christians take people in they have never known because that is what they do.

I've had a ten day break, sort of.

All the relaxation I felt, is gone.

Slap me silly, a-hole!

I'm having a very stiff Brandy trying to deal with this stuff. I got away, and it was great, but, geeesh.

My brother thinks his brand of religion will cure us all. I'm not buying.
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A&A,
So you are telling me we need a new abbreviation on the GOAT thread?

DHEB - Double hairy eye ball.
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Assa, so there IS a word for that look I give... see, this forum goes beyond anything we ever dreamed of LOL.....
I look over the top of my glasses in the situations you described.... or when some one is being rude to me.... they don't know I can't see sh*t , but it gets their attention.....

Well the huge moon took it's toll on Cujo, she slept like a baby last night... guess moving all that stuff from the 'barn' wore her out......

I forgot to tell ya'll, her daughter took her to get a pedi.... she picked neon green polish... !!!!! That's my girl !!!!! She shows them to me about 500 times... she is so proud...

Hope everyone found one thing to be grateful for today... love, hugs, angels and chocolate.
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Glad it's scrunching your forehead and eyebrows together! Without using the words "Huh, what you talking about" but being sarcastic...
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Hairy Eyeball?! Never heard that before. LOL! Great you are on the same page. The doc probably felt he had to suggest it, and was probably on the same page all along. The surgery alone would probably kill her. Then what would people think?
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Took Mom to her cardiologist check up today. I told him her breathing has been heavy, which is from lack of physical movement... He said her pacemaker is working 99% of the time and said that she probably could use an additional one....

I just gave with the "hairy eyeball" and he said "OK I understand", make an appt for 6 months. if she doesn't want to come out in the cold winter, no problem..! He is highly respected in the cardiologist circles, he just understands where I'm coming from with her advanced dementia..

I'm glad we're on the same page...
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Hi Zoie, can you give us more information about you and your father? How old is he? Whose home are living in? Does he have medical insurance? Depending on his age, if he’s considered a senior citizen, you can contact your senior citizen office there. They can help you – with caregiver respite, meals-on-wheels, etc…

Red – ouch! I sure hope this doesn’t mean that your shoulder can pop any time like it did with your therapy. Otherwise, your husband is going to have to learn how to do this. If the therapist is willing, she can come back when hubby is home (or a close neighbor?) to show you how to do it. I’d use your smartphone to videotape the instructions, then google in YouTube just to reinforce this knowledge.
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