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Red, I need a new mattress period... but can try that in the mean time... will get my neighbor to come help me.... good idea, and nope LadeeC , don't even have room for a lawn chair...I have my computer chair which sets at the end of the little table.... kills my back to set on the cushions to the table... when I say a tiny living space.... it really is....

It used to be a dream of mine to have something I could travel around in, go visit some of you and help out, give ya some respite.... didn't know my own caregiving would suck the life and spontaneity right out of me....

Was thinking about this this morning.... how old I feel... the constant negative environment, the stress,the resentment over such low wages..... and here I set, doing nothing to change my situation..... and the truth be known.... my loyalty is all one sided..... only two families do I still stay in contact with... one of the daughters I am very close to.....so am going to have to really take a good look at this.... what? I am still going to be bitching about this a year from now, because I have fear of finanacilly being able to live.....staying in a miserable comfort zone.... what the hell is wrong with me..... it is up to ME to change this..... what am I waiting for???? I make myself so tired....back and forth, back and forth...... something has happened to my faith in all of this... my brain is so clouded with fatigue and depression. I used to live my life on taking risks, what I called, " letting go of the rope'.... and knowing I would land on my feet.... where did all this fear come in???? Need to get committed to finding my answers, I am wasting precious time.....ahhh, pay not attention to me, just searching for my own answers.... love and hugs to all of you...
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{{{chuckling}}} Your smart. I wasn't. I had ordered someing in Amazon. I got an email from Amazon a few days later saying that there was a problem with my payment. I clicked on the link, it opened to the Amazon FOP page. I typed in my name and mailing info and then the credit card info. Hit submit. It wouldn't finalize my payment. I tried several times. FInally in frustration, thinkin there was something wrong my card, I called the them. Boy, did the friendly man's voice became sharp and a bit rude. He lectured me. By the time he was done, I felt soooo stupid. Someone out there has all my info...
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Bookluvr, thank goodness, I didn't click on anything.
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You still need to call your credit card company if you clicked on the link in the e-mail. Explain what happened and let them decide to leave things as is or issue you a new card. If it is phishing, they now have your sign in and password. I'd immediately change your password.
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Glad, I did mark it as 'spam', so that couldn't hurt.
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Loo,
There should be a way to report it as a phishing scam through your e-mail provider.
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Yeee gads! So, I'm at work, doing a bunch of things for my boss, and while I'm waiting for my documents to print out, I check my personal email. There's an alert, SUPPOSEDLY from my mother's credit card company, saying that there has been unauthorized attempts to log on, etc., and I needed to change my profile immediately, or else, blah blah blah. There were no spelling errors or awkward English -- it looked legit enough to make me panic. I logged on to the credit card site w/no problem, everything is fine, and after re-reading the email a few times, it was obvious that it was a phishing thing. Sigh of relief that nothing bad happened, and doubly relieved that my mother is no longer using the internet! It's hard enough when you haven't lost all your marbles to not get conned, but when you're mentally frail, it's just terrible how vulnerable you are.
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LadeeM...used to live in a small mobile home so realize the space restrictions...could you put something under your regular mattress to raise the head of the bed and also something under the knee area to form a shaped surface to sleep on? The new bed we bought when we moved back into the house is adjustable...mattress on top is basic...the thing that adjusts it is underneath...would suggest you have someone help you set it up if you decide to try it because lifting a mattress around with a bad back would only make things worse...mom had a wedge shaped pillow for years...said it was the only thing she could sleep on...maybe something like that with a pillow under your knees...
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I should clarify: my 'recliner' is of the lawn chair variety, so takes up very little room
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I agree a recliner is the way to go. I had a bad back since I was 12 years old Iam 69.
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No room in the Grapes of Wrath wagon for a recliner, but that does sound like a great sleeping arrangement.....
Good to see you Ladee C ! I missed ya !!

Didn't have to hurt anyone last night... but after the daughter sucked all the air out of the room telling me how Cujo hasn't slept in three night.... and on and on that I wasn't listening to..... oh, and she was so solicitous to my poor aching back while she had an audience.... I didn't realize I was holding my breath until she left and let out a deep sigh.... woman makes my head hurt....
Cujo slept fine..... she did get up at 4:30 needing to make plans for Thanksgiving.....!!! finally told her maybe she could just say a prayer of Thanksgiving since it was so early in the morning, and she could make her plans later..... she did say a prayer..... a long one....but went back to bed and was still asleep when I left this morning....
Daughter did tell me to call her if someone fell, and to not pick up anyone..... I just blinked at her really slowly.... ya know, because I am sooo Tooopid !!!

Are some of you thinking how grateful you are that I am not YOUR paid caregiver !!!!!! LOL

Slept as long as I could... need to get ready to go make the big bucks...
Love, hugs, prayers and chocolate to all of you !!!!
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LadeeM I do the same as LadeeC and sleep in a recliner.
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LadeeM .. my back is now to the point where sleeping in a bed is not an option, if I want to walk the next day. My solution is a $45 reclining lounge chair (from WalMart). I can sleep in it, because it relieves the pressure in all the right places, keeping my back and legs at the correct angles to each other. The only thing I have to be careful of is keeping my feet elevated enough. Enter helpful pillow under the calves. It's my saving grace. Hope you feel better soon!! *hugs*

The other
LadeeC
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Don't worry Ms.V, the only thing I am going to do is set in the chair with my phone in my hand... if someone falls, 911 will be called...I went and got some 'heat wraps'..... they work good and am really feeling better today....but will lay down on the floor if it starts hurting at work...so, on the hiway to h*ll later this evening.... I'll let ya'll know if I had to hurt the daughter.... lol..... love and hugs
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LadeeM take it easy tonight, NO lifting people off the floor!

DH. Hospice is giving you all the right advice. Give him all the morphine he needs and don't worry about the whisky What is the worse that can happen? As long as he is comfortable and free of anxiety that is all that matters. At this stage he probably will need the Prednisone for the duration the only problem with tat is it gives viscious indigestion. You are in a good place and hospice nurse is on the ball. Dad's happy you can't ask for anything more. Doing things that are "good" for him stopped a long time ago. Blessings
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Glad, now I have bon bon envy on top of a hurting back !!! that's just wrong... lol
Ya, think I will start using the pillow more often....feels more like 'normal' hurting today, not 'I can't set' hurting.... why do we just not take care of our self??? oh well, the daughter can get her panties out of knot, I'll go to work tonight.... wish we had a puking emoticon !!!! Love and hugs and thanks for the feedback.....
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LadeeM from a childhood accident I've had a number of hip surgeries and have a wonky back as a result. I've slept with a pillow between my knees for years and it does seem to help.
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DH13, my husband has moderate to severe COPD. When his breathing has been really bad the doctor puts him on a regimen (10 days tapering dose) of prednisone. It does have a positive impact on his breathing, his activity level and his mood that disappears soon after he's off it. When his oxygen levels drop his feet and hands also become purple from lack of sufficient oxygen. He now has difficulty walking from weakness in his legs. It's all part of the disease. If your Dad is enjoying himself thanks to the morphine and prednisone...Bless him!
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Ladee, meant to say I have had trouble with my back nearly all my life. About seven years ago I herniated a couple of discs in my lower back. That was absolutely excruciating pain. The only thing that helped me was time and twice a week visits to the chiropractor. Hope you feel better. I'll be thinking of you when I eat my bedtime bon bon.
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Ladee, she should have a back up plan. When caring for folks I think there should be at least Plan A through Plan D. She should have an agency on retainer for when these things happen and they will. And she could do it herself it doesn't happen that often. But she is hard enough to deal with, what if she didn't get her beauty sleep?
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I see what you are saying Book, and guess I didn't call her yesterday when it happened , thinking it would get better.... but she doesn't work in the summer.... it's not like she would have to do a night shift and go to work.....but, I have also suggested, time and again, to have a back up.... that part is not my responsibility....... if people are going to hire someone and expect us to be professional at all times under all circumstances.... then run it like a business, and have a contingency plan in place....where we must always stay professional, the family can act any way they choose.... that's BS !!!! If I got killed in a car wreck, she would have to figure it out !!!! I'm not mad at you Book, I'm mad at her..... like I said , she loves being the martyr when it suits her..... but apparently I didn't read the rule book !!! lol love ya Book !!!
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Lunchtime. LadeeM, when I had hired the caregiver, I hated it when she would tell me last minute that she had a workshop that Saturday - calling me Friday night! I had to frantically call around relatives to see who had No plans for Saturday. But her case was different. It was a Workshop. This is all planned ahead of time by her work. She could have told me way ahead of time.

There were times, when she called me on Saturday morning, to tell me that she couldn't make it. But, she had found someone to cover for her. I hated this too, because this was accepting a total stranger last minute - into our home.

Did I expect her to find a replacement for her when she couldn't make it? No. But I did want her to tell me the earliest possible if she could not - and not call me on the day she was suppose to show up.
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Thanks Ms. V, ya, she will have to suck it up..... and she will be told to not take it out on me....I don't play this, yes ma'm stuff anymore..... she needs me, I don't need her......I have been in caregiving in one form or another for the past 17 years.... it's not like I am clueless or a fool..... yep, loyalty be damned... figure it out.....

And i'll hold off on getting like Tex with the pain meds..... I'm not a nurse, so I know better !!! See Tex, I told you nurses were the worst patients... my best friend down home is a nurse...it amazes me the things she would do and have a fit if a patient did the same thing.....

Granddaughter has left already... she let me know she didn't like my job, we hardly got to see each other..... but had fun what time I did get to spend with her.... has lightened my mood considerably.....

Already doing the pillow under the legs.... and just trying to rest as much as I can..... already have major back problems and just the way I bent down and stood back up, threw something into limbo..... just one of those random things that our bodies do to let us know... ENOUGH ALREADY, take a break.....

And wish I did have some chocolate...... ya know. lady of leisure, laying in bed eating bon bons....... pfttttttt !!!!!
Hugs to you all..... going back to bed.....
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Countrymouse, thank you for your comment and I know prednisone is steroid...its to help with his breathing which at this point there is no helping it. The only thing keeping him breathing is the 4L of 02 he wears 24/7 and that isn't considered "artificial" means of support so he can be on it for months and his health will still dwindle at a fast rate but be held in "limbo" due to 02 use. We do have a DNR in effect since May of this year so that helps when the going will get tougher. I just don't like seeing him with this memory loss, the not remembering how to do simple things and such. He thinks he's fine but his voice is gone, he forgets what we do or talk about within minutes and asks me the same thing every 1/2 hour because he isn't sure if he thought it or said it. I say put down the whiskey with the morphine and maybe?? Doubtful. Hospice says let him be "comfortable" and "do what he wants". Understandable. The Lasix helps the Atrial Fibralation so the other diuretic may not be as helpful. Just a matter of time as to which organ goes first, the heart or lungs. He loses too much 02 w/o his oxygen for even 10 minutes so that puts a strain on his heart. So, basically it's a crapshoot as to when it happens and what goes first. Either way, I'm prepared for both...
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Oh ladeeM poor you. I know that back is an ongoing problem and is probably going to need a few days in bed to rest it. Do you have acess to ice? can your grandaughter beg some for you.
In your shoes you are quite right to be pissed. It is not as though you wanted the night off to go out on the town. You are sick, injured, whatever you hurt she is responsible for her parents welfare not you. she should have plans for such an emergency. She is going to have to suck it up tonight and get someone from an agency tomorrow because you WON'T be back till next Sunday at the earliest. a pillow under the knees is a good idea as long as you are moving those legs the last thing we want to hear is a DVT. I'd pop over and give you some TLC but you will be better before I can drive there, probably take me three days.
This is my honest feed back you are right and your current employer has just lost your loyalty. Now rest and take your hydrocodone and don't forget some senna with that. You know what Tex did to herself. Don't fall asleep with a ciggy in your hand - don't want to BBQ the cat. You will get through this you always do. Trouble is no one appreciates the good ones. Hugs and love your way old friend and one of those huge chocolate bunnys.
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ladeeM see if you can lay in bed with a pillow under your knees to take some pressure off your lower back. Gentle stretching may help too.
When I joined my gym last fall I specifically asked the trainer to give me weight lifting exercises as I knew I was going to assist my parents and didn't want to injure my back. Now that mom has died and dad in assisted living I can go back to the gym and start again ( and keep on working on those core muscles).
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Watch NBC Nightly News tonight on the underreporting of Alzheimer's deaths on death certificates. The immediate cause is what is normally listed. Pushing for more information on death certificates in order to increase research funding for Alzheimer's.
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I'll email you Ms.V.....

I have a question for everyone....and please be honest..

In some random accident yesterday, I hurt my back...can't sit for any length of time... or stand and can barely walk... have been treating it with Theragisic and taking hydrocodone..... I am in pain... a lot of pain....
I called the daughter to tell her I can't come in tonight, and told her why...keep in mind I have worked here for over six months....never late. always work my full 12 hour shift, have worked extra when she has called me.

She got so angry.... I already am feeling guilty because I know it was her weekend with them....asked me if I had called the girl that works on Fri. nights, told her yes, but no reply yet.... she asked if I would call her again... by this time I am getting angry myself.... not my damned job to get someone to fill in.... something I have ASKED FOR since I started working there....told her no, I haven't.....
I get it that she is tired, but she loves playing the martyr when it makes her look good.... so my question is... those of you who have hired help... would you have taken one second to reassure the paid caregiver it wasn't her you were upset with..... ya know, the hard to find, dedicated, experienced caregiver that you are barely paying above minimum wage??????

I have never called in sick before..... I do my job... ect.... and yes, If I wasn't feeling bad myself I wouldn't have taken it personal.....but I did..... I have told ya'll a million times, the reason I am so burned out is not because of my clients, but the damned families.....
I would appreciate honest feedback... and keep in mind I gave her plenty of time to find someone else..... it's not like I called ten minutes before I was due at work....she is off for the whole summer... It's not like she has to work tomorrow......and it's NOT my family !!!!!

As you can see, I am pissed.... but ya know what.... I'm taking the damned night off because I am in PAIN....no job is worth causing even more damage to an already messed up back from being LOYAL !!!!
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LadeeM I know little about the 'church' except what I read in the press and hearsay. I am an Anglo-Saxon Protestant. Maybe you can enlighten me sometime. I do not usually answer the door when that pair of clean cut polite young men call
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Ya I know, but her and I have had talks about the church before... she knows what I am sharing with her about..... and the spirits go after her because she is vulnerable.... sorry Book, don't mean to talk about you like you aren't here.... love you girl.....you know what to do and will do it in regard to the spirits....
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