Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
I did something the other night I don't ordinarily do.... I am so tired of L being so hateful at times.... she is a little doll while the oldest daughter is there, not so much when we are alone.... after her snapping at me three different times.... I leaned over and told her I could ask her questions without having to be snapped at.... and walked out to smoke... shutting the door 'firmly'.... I am a 'door slammer'.... so I was quite proud of myself for not breaking the door off its hinges..... and she has been nothing but nice since... probably won't last, but the last two nights were descent.....I can tell when she is having one of her episodes or has had a TIA,,,, very different situations there..... that I can deal with.... but realizing she was doing it because she CAN???? Uh NO, you can't....!!!!!!

And simply ignoring her, tending to her needs, of course, but not being 'friendly' and trying to joke with her.....just being all business....and using my 'firm' voice with her..... I read on here all the time, people with their right mind being abusive , just because they can..... my dad was like that.... him, well, I never took any crap off that old man.....so, because I set that boundary, had an ok last few days.... she hasn't slept all week..... guess the lazy day lady lets her sleep so she doesn't have to be bothered..... don't know, don't care..... abuse is abuse, dress if up to look like an old lady and it's still abuse.....
She did flip out on the day lady yesterday.... made a huge mess in the kitchen...all because she didn't get her way about something.... and ya'll know I laughed out loud when I found out.... ohhhhh Karma, I love you sooooo.....
No more catheter for the day lady to b*tch about..... MrM can do it himself now.... after his last visit to the Dr.
I told the daughter what I said to L, she was ok with it..wouldn't have cared if she wasn't..... but that is bullsh*t to let someone abuse you..... a hundred years from now will it matter if you set a boundary..... NO......
Got a text from my Thurs night replacement... she will be at work tonight.... good thing,,, cause I ain't EVEN gonna be there......

Shilo... don't worry about it.... we have no Grammar Police here... we don't care about all that.... just happy you feel you have found a safe place to have your feelings.....

Going to go lay down and read..... why? Because I CAN.... hugs to all of you....
(5)
Report

My mother loves avocados and will eat them like candy if she has the chance. Since they are on the moderate list for cholesterol I only buy them once in a while for her. One word sums up what I think of them and that word is yuck.

Today mother said 'six of one, seven of another...no that's not right...(in thought)...six of one, half of something...half a dozen is that right?' Yes mom but I might like your seven of another better.

Thank you for another day.
(1)
Report

Sakura - I am sorry you are having such a rough time. My mom also did not want to associate with anyone either. But when people just dropped by she loved it. They know what's going on with themselves. I think that they might feel uncomfortable. But people who really care about her would look over that. Like others have said here. I would call the doctor especially if she is not eating. He might recommend hospice. Please take care of YOU and come back when you need us.
(0)
Report

Book, avacado with a squeeze of lemon? That is how I usually eat an avocado. Guacamole, I love it, but I would rather enjoy the avocado alone. Nothing like half an avocado with a squeeze of lemon and as dash of salt and pepper for lunch on a hot summer day.
(0)
Report

Hi Sakura, I’m sorry that your mother’s health is declining so fast. Are you just the only one caregiving your mom? Do you have some caregivers who come at least once a week to help relieve you? With you mom not eating/drinking, maybe you can ask her doctor if she qualifies for hospice service? If you need to just come on and vent with whatever is going on in your mind, please feel free to do so. I remember when my mom was struggling to breathe (close to the end), I was sooo stressed out, I wanted to so badly call 911 to have them come and help her. To help me deal with her struggling of breathing, I came on here and just posted and posted. {{HUGS}}

Congratulations, Lav!!! It’s all coming around for you. I’m glad for you.

Pami, my older brother, visiting from the states, came home. He just had to tell me how I should change my bedridden mother’s pamper. I stopped immediately, turned to him and asked him if he wanted to take over. He shook his head. And never offered any caregiving advice. If someone wants to tell me how to do things, they can darn well take over! As if !!!!
(2)
Report

Wantingtime, {{HUGS}} With regards to DVDS, have you checked if your library also has this. Our small library has one. I cannot guaranty if it’s modern movies but.. it does loan out DVDs. As for meals, do you think you or mom would qualify for the Meals-on-Wheels? They provide this for the care-receiver Monday-Fridays – lunch. The food sucks but you can try jazzing it up with spices. I’ve several times took dad’s lunch and made it into soup. His side vegetables went into the pot. And it was now a chicken soup with veggies. FYI, there’s nothing wrong with your mom helping with the expenses. If you both eat, you both share the cost of buying the grocery. Since my father doesn’t eat ‘normal’ food, all the food I buy comes out of my paycheck. I don’t think it’s right for him to pay his portion of a food that he doesn’t eat. (I giggled when I read your words “Stiffen that upper lip and ONWARD!!!”)

CM – unfortunately, our avocado trees grow Tall. You need to get this metal stick with a hook or a metal cradle to “pick” the avocado off the tree. If you pick the ones that fall, most times it’s too ripe. And bruised up from the fall. Fave sis gave me 3 avocados. After I read your post, I went out to see if any of our lemon trees have lemon. Hmmm. We no longer have a lemon tree. Now I’m curious on how avocados would taste with a squeeze of lemon.

Veronica, it’s shrimp that I’m deadly allergic to. Darn thing makes me itch all over, and my tongue to feel “funny” and my lips. It’s the mango trees that causes me severe sinus/allergy. I tried eating fresh mango and broke out with big rashes and diarrhea. But I can eat the Dried mango with no problem. Go figure!
(0)
Report

CM - Wasn't it about WWII. Elsa Lancaster right. They were trying to defeat the germans. Lancaster was trying to be a witch. Take care of YOU!!!!
(1)
Report

Ka rule number 1 do not host company, we have enough to do. I have been there with my sister being here and telling me what to do. You are not ready for company. Tell them to go stay somewhere , but not at your house.
(2)
Report

Take it as a compliment Ladee M.You are a much better caregiver than the day lady.
is it empty when your shift starts?
(0)
Report

Bedknobs and Broomsticks. I saw it when I was 10, and I remember a long sequence that I thought was the funniest thing I'd ever seen in my life - but I can't for the life of me remember what the film was about.
(0)
Report

LadeeM - wasn't there a movie or show with some family riding in the sky on a bed? Yes, I found several things to be grateful for today.
(0)
Report

WOOT WOOT Lav !!!!! And yes, YOU sold the house.... fantastic..... so happy for you..... hope bro does not complicate the h*ll out of this.....

Ya L is strong all right....I did realize the other night, what the 'knot' in my stomach is when she gets like that..... It is an unconscious flash back to when R broke my leg !!!!! Her tone of voice, and how there is violence right under the surface......

Shilo, not quitting, I wish, just getting my days off..... and then someone else can stop her from moving the bed to the hiway!!!! Or where ever she was moving it to..... just want to be away from there for awhile.....

Was told by MrM last night I needed to empty the catheter bag before the day lady comes on shift so he doesn't have to hear her complain that I left it for her to do.... just ask me how p*ssed I got..... I empty it at 5am.... how much could be in there for the stupid day lady..... so instead of telling the day lady that is part of her job.... I get told..... ya'll..... my attitude already sucks...... so it took it all for me to keep my mouth shut last night..... maybe my 'six month plan' will be moved up to two !!!!!!!!
(0)
Report

Congrats Lav!

LadeeM ha the freezer! I hope you get to relax on your off days or I should say your weekend! Hugs..
(1)
Report

Ladee M stop giving L spinach before she goes to bed.
(1)
Report

Well done Lav. Don't you mean YOU sold the house?
(2)
Report

Yeah!!! to you Lav!

Yeah! to you LadeeM. What are you going to do with your spare time?
(1)
Report

LadeeM - L must be very strong. LOL Was she going to put the bed in the freezer? Take care of YOU!!!!
WE SOLD THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!
(3)
Report

Lav, CONGRATS on the house !!! And I laughed when I realized that bro had to come to the house because he couldn't get you on the phone.... no matter what, that dude is going to be angry and rude..... with his little bridezilla at his side..... hope you get what you are asking for in negotiations...... then the job will be next.... you just trust in that..... hugs

To the new folks.... this is the place to come and share what is going on.... not just once, but to help you find friends that truly understand and don't judge....

Last night,or should I say at 5am, I hear L in the bedroom, go check, and she has her bed pulled almost out the door....she was mumbling something about a 'freezer'.... took me awhile to get her to let go of it, move the bed back and get her back in bed..... tonight is my last night.... thank God.....

Hope you all found something to be grateful for today....
(0)
Report

CM - That made me think of my mother and her baseball team. She has been a fan for over 50 years. Her team is in the basement right now and she says "they can't get any worse they can only improve."

Book - I use to worry about getting diabetes too. Now I try to eat better, test my sugar once in a while and not worry so much. If it is in the genes I can't stop it from happening. I don't have a problem pricking my mother's finger to test sugar but I'm a baby when it comes to sticking my finger. OUCH! I also faint at the sight of my own blood, not anyone elses, just mine.
(2)
Report

Bless you, wanting. We're all allowed some time surely to stamp around in the house in a beetle-browed mood and kick the cushions. Glad you're making plans to get a handle on it, though. Nowhere to go but up..? (I hate it when people say that to me!)
(2)
Report

I am sorry, AGAIN, for my 'why me' attitude last night. I seem to be having trouble with that lately. I think it's because I dont' have anyone in my life to talk to so it just bounces around in my head til it spills out here. I have an appointment tomorrow with my doc to get some meds...and an official diagnosis. It's out of my control...now that I've had three days of whoa is me, it's time to get to work to take care of it. In addition, I am going to have to start letting mother cover more of the house expenses for a while til I get caught back up.

Stiffen that upper lip and ONWARD!!!
(3)
Report

Wanting - Are you on medicine (insulin or oral pills) or diet to control your diabetes? Yes, as another said it is life changing to develop diabetes. It can be managed and depending on your situation you still maybe able to have that Coke. What you are going through is difficult. There are other things that alter your blood sugars that we forget at times. Some of them are stress, worrying (like worrying about not having money) and not eating. It may seem like a death sentence but my mother has been living with it for more than 40 years and is still kicking. I'll have to share her story a little later when I have more time. But she loves her jelly beans and although I have to count them out and only give her a few of them once in a while she does have them. Shhh! Don't tell any of her kids because they have never understood being diabetic does not mean NEVER, EVER it means moderation, adjustment and alteration. You have many adjustments to go through in the next few months but you will make it. Hang in there!
(2)
Report

Hello,

My 86 yo mother began having issues about a year ago. So incredibly sad as she chose to isolate herself to any outside associations and only rely on family. She never has driven a car so we would transport her to shopping, eating out, etc. she also lived alone.
About a year ago depression , delirium, maybe psychotic issues began creeping in. Her appetite decreased immensely and she had outbursts and stories were going on inside her head. We tried having caregivers come to assist her since my brother and I work full time and she would run outside screaming help! Call the police!
To make a long story short, she was hospitalized as a UTI was found and a pressure sore on her bottom from sitting too much. Her health went down, down and since she has been home I am her daughter taking FMLA from my job to care for her. She is steadily going down. Now she refuses any food or drink and I know her body wants to move on.
I have been beyond frustration as I would fix her many small portions of food rather than big meals and she would refuse it all.
I am trying my best to accept the process and not stress out so much because I must also take care of myself, yet it is sooooo difficult especially with my brother working out of the country for 2 weeks, I am afraid she will pass before he returns.

Sad in Houston
(0)
Report

Hello,

My 86 yo mother began having issues about a year ago. So incredibly sad as she chose to isolate herself to any outside associations and only rely on family. She never has driven a car so we would transport her to shopping, eating out, etc. she also lived alone.
About a year ago depression , delirium, maybe psychotic issues began creeping in. Her appetite decreased immensely and she had outbursts and stories were going on inside her head. We tried having caregivers come to assist her since my brother and I work full time and she would run outside screaming help! Call the police!
To make a long story short, she was hospitalized as a UTI was found and a pressure sore on her bottom from sitting too much. Her health went down, down and since she has been home I am her daughter taking FMLA from my job to care for her. She is steadily going down. Now she refuses any food or drink and I know her body wants to move on.
I have been beyond frustration as I would fix her many small portions of food rather than big meals and she would refuse it all.
I am trying my best to accept the process and not stress out so much because I must also take care of myself, yet it is sooooo difficult especially with my brother working out of the country for 2 weeks, I am afraid she will pass before he returns.

Sad in Houston
(1)
Report

Sorry Book I am fresh out of examples but you have got the meaning.
Why not try another anti cholesterol drug. It does not have to be Crestor. I took Lovastatin for years and that did not give me any side effects and it is really CHEAP.
They stopped mine saying I was too old to need it
Bull s**t I am going to live to be 100 now. Having passed 70 by which time all my female relatives had died I am in for the long haul. I do follow Drs orders though but if I disagree they usually back off. Cos when I say no I really mean it
By the way i hate avocados. i thought you were deadly allergic to them. hope you are having a good night.
(1)
Report

Hi Veronica you have given such good advice!
(1)
Report

Oh book, imagine just picking an avocado ripe off the tree… oh wow. Round here you have to get them rock hard at the supermarket then cradle them next to a bunch of bananas in the fruit bowl or let them spend the night in the airing cupboard before they'll ripen. Still lovely, though. Nice with a squeeze of lemon, too. Yum.
(1)
Report

Oh! Is that what they meant as 'older woman'? I still have 20 more years to go. Getting tired. I will copy and paste your good rule on "Act don't react." Can you give more examples? They both sound the same to me. Act is just pro-active, and react is waiting for the event and then act when it's done.

As for the Lipitor, I try to take it because I'm afraid the doc would figure it's not working and prescribe a larger dosage or another drug like Crestor. Unfortunately, when I take Lipitor daily, I get headaches and ringing of the ears and the sniffles. Nothing major. I just have to skip the next day. Then go back to it the following day. Thanks.....

Lav, I really do hope that your house sells for what you're hoping for.

Yay! It's avocado season. Now if I can find someone who has a tree... I love avocado so much, I eat it just plain. Not in soy sauce or milk or sugar. When I eat it, I want to Taste the avocado. Oopss... 1235am.
(0)
Report

lol Lav, I hope that venting made you feel better. If he apologizes (fat chance) you can stick your nose up in the air at him. My comment about it being a phone service provider problem was just sarcasm. I am told I have such a straight face people can't tell when I am joking. It must carry over in text as well. I knew you blocked his number, thought it was funny and gave you a thumbs up. I wish they let you give more than one thumbs up cuz you would have receive more on that one from me. What perfect timing to have it occur right when he really needed to get through to you about a bid on the house too!
(2)
Report

Book I have another rule "'Act don't react" This takes a lot of practice in that you have to watch carefully and learn how to interpret behaviour to " head off the enemy at the pass" this was a technique I had to use with my third child who was very bright but extremely self will and active. At 3 she was asked to discontinue her attendance at ballet. At four pre-school said she could only attend if I came with her. When we went shopping I had to clamp her between my legs while I locked the car or she was gone. When she started school the bus driver slowed down and looked to see which bush she was hiding behind that morning. At a parent conference the teacher was listing her transgressions, then she sighed and said "But you know that"
As far as father playing in the poop. I don't think it is the poop he is playing with that is just a side effect!
Now Book older women are usually thought of as around 70. you are only just approaching middle age and are definitely not over weight so your risk is probably not that high as long as YOU FOLLOW DRS ORDERS. stop worrying about things that may never happen. Even if you do get diabetes it is often controlled with meds and diet. If you could not face needles there are insulin pumps that are permanently attached. Afraid you will still need to prick your finger. Anyway you have and are facing challenges much bigger challenges than a little needle prick
(2)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter