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STP, it has been so good to see you posting here recently.... and it is addicting in the sense that we make friends and want to know how everyone is..... so , happy you are joining us.... some really awesome women on this thread and all over AC !!! hugs

Ok,yall have to get on the 'hiway to hell', see ya'll in the morning..... love and chocolate..

Red, hope your sale is a success and bless you for keeping the dog that has driven you insane.....hugs
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twocents, LoL!! I don't call elderly for old cow...but it was funny, lol again!! My client is same way. She doesn't want wash and use a little tiny bit of toilet paper .... I put a little sign ( picture frame) said "please wash your hands".....
She said water is too cold, I said have a wipe....she said makes my hands feel wet???? ladeeM, I 'm always reading your post and tell you what this AC site is causing me very addictive..LOL take care!!
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Get some hand sanitizer, put your gloves on.... and wash her hands FOR HER!!! If she gets mad, at least you wont be contaminated.... some old folks can be nasty for sure.... good luck
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good Lord my mom is naaasty.
I have gotten over my second bout with some enteric bug of some sort. Lost work days each time.
Caught the old cow coming out of bathroom and I know she didn't wash her d*mn hands.
Looked her right in eye when she was out at the table waiting for breakfast and asked 'how often do you wash your hands???'. Not one bloody answer. Usually she gets all huffy and does her little narcissism dance but there was absolutely nothing.
Now, how the h*ll do I protect myself against her?

two cents ¢¢
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Finally have everything ready for the garage sale this Fri and Sat...will probably donate everything but the collectables if they don't sell. just to get it out of here...Mil passed 5 weeks ago today...we almost have everything back to normal...have to take her dog to the vet today so we can get needles for his insulin injections...I think he is determined to live forever...at least he has stopped peeing in here if we get him outside on schedule...little beast is 15 years old, diabetic and blind as a bat, and can find his way around the house and yard as well as I can.
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ROFL ( rolling on floor laughing)
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Thanks ya'll... and Boni... remember... don't use abbreviations... it's against 'business protocol"...... lol... wtf?... pftt and any thing else I can think of... I rarely answer really stupid posts, but I did that one..... (on another thread !)....... I bet we could post with nothing but abbreviations and most of us would get it !!!!

Ya Shilo, that's what I will do , go to the library if it takes too long... but so far, I am up and running today WOOT WOOT
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Don't be gone too long TOB. Get some rest and remember your own words.... " my epiphany...... not my problem...". Love and chocolate!
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LadeeM Hopefully there will not be any problems with getting your new service provider started. If it takes longer than you can handle though, think about stopping by a library to connect with your friends here. It sounds like you will be missed if you are gone long.
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LadeeM I hope the internet switch goes quick, I'll be lonely without you😅.. Hope your night goes better than the last..
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will be without the internet for awhile... I am changing servers... and of course it's going to be a clusterf**k..... nothing simple in a caregivers life.... so will stay in contact until then.... and then see ya'll later until I get the new one installed... love ya'll.
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Not sure what was going on with L right before I left this morning... TIA? Just the nature of LBD? A bad dream? But she can be one hateful little lady when she is like she was this morning.... my epiphany...... not my problem.... let the day lady handle it..... I am a little conflicted with my feelings or lack of.... I am not in denial about my own burn out..15 years of being 'abused' by those with Alz, well, I just feel that my skin is so thick now.... the compassion and empathy is buried too deep.... I always have flashbacks of another client acting like L this morning.... got a broken leg out of that one.... so ya, I walked out and let the day lady have her 'turn' and never looked back..... I can't MAKE myself feel something I don't feel... I still use care and concern, patience, that is so thin I question what it is going to take to break that thin little membrane.... I only know after I left, all I could think about was getting home and going to bed.... I never ever saw myself here with these feelings, or lack of.... disheartening in some ways....that I have allowed this job to change me in such fundamental ways....

I read about this all the time on here, have for years, and now I am there myself.... Guess I will have to get in touch with the daughter for using the 'magic pill' tonight..... I absolutely DREAD going to work..... that is my vent for today.....
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you are welcome, Shilo, I'm happy I had a suggestion that may offer you another avenue.
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He was in the service years ago. He passed away in 79' when he was 45. I wasn't aware they had a program like that but I will research and see if we would qualify. Thanks for the suggestion.
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Shilo-
I know exactly what you mean. Was your dad in the service? Have you checked their Aid and Attendance program?
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Gladimhere - I hope you are successful in getting paid through the medicaid attendant program. Some states call it 'cash and counseling'. If you work with a case worker for your family member they maybe able to help you apply.
My turn to vent. I have tried for 2 years now to get paid through this program but I'm not eligible bc I am also my mother's representative. You can't be an attendant and a representative in SC. I do not know of anyone willing to 'volunteer' to be her representative so I can be paid to be her attendant. Her case manager can give me a list of people to call and ask if they want to be my mother's attendant but why would I want to take the time to do that? Only to have someone else be paid to do what I still have to do the rest of the time the attendant is not there, no thank you. Talk about resentment. When you don't have any income at all even alittle bit would help. I have no health insurance and not eligible for help either. Can't even afford to have any needed tests done. So not to be eligible to be paid to be the attendant bc of a technicality really burns. Sorry I have vented but I spent the past couple months writing letters to the state rep's and senate on this issue.
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I found a great website this morning when searching for states that permit family caregivers being paid. This link will take you to a document that provides contacts within states that permit the payment for family caregivers.

http://www.pascenter.org/documents/paid_family_caregiver_programs.pdf
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Just venting. Just feeling so inadequate this am.No longer able to let mother be as independent with her meds and had to remove all meds ,even OTC drugs from her room.Needless to say she isn't happy with me. She is currently postop day 24 after a bunionectomy and hasn't been able to go shopping. That is her big complaint.She has no idea how well off she is. She actually gets to go shopping today after the doctor said she could. But now because I no longer leave her pain meds or any others in her room her AM back pain has suddenly become worse, this AM she acted like she was going to need an ambulance because I won't leave the pain med in her room .Both my husband and I immediately get it for her when she calls for it at 0500, he gets the coffee and I get the pill.However, she has still found the strength to get makeup on,get herself dressed and made a list for Costco even though she literally said " I am only making it minute to minute." Sure looked good for someone that was dying.Also got an email from an old friend that may possibly had terminal breast cancer. I just have compassion burnout.There isn't enough of me to go around. I have a 56 yr, old friend that could still have many years and a 78yr,old that wants to live to 1,000, and probably will because she is killing me with all the guilt. It can just be overwhelming.This week alone I will be taking my mother to various MDs 3 days, at 80 miles a round trip.This is mostly for followup on her foot surgery which went well and just a dermatology check up. But this morning she is just acting like poor her but still going shopping. She has osteoarthritis and I know she is in pain but she is on quite a lot of morphine a day and also has steroid injections about every 3 months. I feel bad for her but I have seen so many other people so much worse off.Just burnout with her this morning.
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Book I've seen people wear dressy black slacks to some pretty formal occasions...
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ladeeM, yes I know about Grandma! Congrats again!! So exciting!
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Aww hell Assa, take some of moms meds and call it an evening !!!! L is not sleeping either, she's not nuts this time, so that is a good thing, as MrM's new catheter has to be emptied EVERY hour.... where the hell did they find this bag?? At the DollHouse Supply Store ????? But hey, Im just the stupid paid caregiver, far be if for me to make a suggestion that might WORK.... and L, bless her heart, is 'helping' empty the bag... so wet sheets, thank God I had on gloves.... but MrM had to have a pad under it for the rest of the night... but I have news for them , that bag is being hung on the side of the bed tonight...... this way is unnecessary and messy....he insists we leave it strapped to his leg....

And Ladybelle, kudos to you for knowing you were in over your head.... working with Alz/dementia is like Dante's Inferno of Alz.... so many levels its daunting....that's why I am so burned out I can only talk to you like YOU are the one with Alz....If I didn't come here, I would not know how to talk to people at all......

Did I tell ya'll I'm gonna be a grandma???? OH Yes, I sure did, but I am sure I will repeat myself again and again and again as this is the environment I am in all the time..... lol.... love and hugs to all of you....
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Venting:
It's bewitching hour.. "You have no sympathy for me" "as long as I'm quiet", " there's no one here " blah, blah, blah...
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wantingtime - There are different stages of dementia and medicines and infections such as UTI's can make them worse at times. I hate when that happens.
Assisted living is not as fully staffed as a NH. It is for someone that needs little supervision. Most places have websites were you can gather information before you visit. Type in assisted living or nh in (your area) and see what is available. You don't have to commit to any of them even if you visit.
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Ladybelle...I thought dementia meant their memory was gone...not that she'd be fine in the morning and a terror at night. She can remember her brother died five years ago but insists her mother, who died 20 years ago, is alive. Its so random..
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I don't understand what assisted living is, and I don't know how to get her INTO assisted living. Can anyone tell me about it?
Shilo8 I think that's a pretty good idea. I know I was appalled when I toured what my sister (the nurse that has dealt with them) termed 'the best she knows of' and found the bed they were offering my mother has sheets on it covered in fecal stains....this is their 'selling' bed? they couldn't find a clean sheet? I don't want my mother in that situation.
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Two years ago I took my mother for a visit to a couple NH's so she could pick out which one she wanted to stay at if we decided to use respite service. I told her if she wasn't receiving in home care that medicare would pay for 5 days a month respite care in a NH. We left one NH and my mother said "don't leave me here". My mother hasn't used that line about rather living in a NH since. Maybe a visit to a NH or two could be like a kind of shock treatment for your mother.
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If I knew then what I know now....
I completely misunderstood dementia when I was thrusted into the role of caregiver. Not really seeking to be caregiver, but felt obligated as a daughter. I thought dementia meant loss of memory, and not able to recognize places or people or lack of understanding and physical limitations due to aging. I did not know it came with behavior issues too, such as resisting care, verbal abuse, unjustified complaining , paranoia, delusions, and hitting. I've experienced it all with two parents. Sometimes both going on at the same time. As much as I wanted to be helpful, loving, understanding, I realized that I was way, waaaaaay over my head and need professional assistance. They are both in assisted living. They are angry about it, but it's saving my sanity...Thanks for listening...just needed to vent.
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I gave the phone to her and told her to call the perfect sister and have HER take care of everything since everything I do is wrong....she threw the phone at me. HARD...she was trying to hit me and cause pain.
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Feeling ashamed, wore out and angry. Mother is throwing a fit about the home health people coming...calling them the 'n' word, saying she doesnt' want one of 'them' bathing her..I told her she has two options, let the home health people come three hours a day M-F or the nursing home, which is it? She said "truthfully, the nursing home!"

Like 'they' won't be in the nursing home...like she's gonna be SOOO much better off there than with me. She won't be eating what she wants, having her own private room or hoarding money in the damn nursing home. Nor will she have her doctors.

I blew up at her...screamed and yelled and cried. Told her she has never loved me and of course she'd rather have strangers take care of her than me...

it's not been good.
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Austin - I am so sorry about your cat I know how precious they are. All I can say is to remember the good times and know that you did the right thing for him. God Bless and take care of YOU!!!!
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