This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
H2H, my dad has his favorites also... so I understand how you feel too...another one that nothing made him happy... thank God I got some help to understand all that, and was able to let go long before he died....so praying somewhere you find a life line to hang onto..... no one is worth giving up our life for.... prayers sent your way.......hang in there and let us know of your progress, because you will make progress because you have asked for help.... we are here for you and Lav and everyone else..... be glad when this day is over personally....
hugs, love, angels and chocolate to all of you...
Happy mothers day everyone. Is it mothers day in Canada or do you keep mothering Sunday during Lent as in the UK. not in any way commercialized there well not in the late 70s when we left. it is probably different now. We used to pick bunches of wild flowers usually primroses and blue bells and take them home to Mum. Oh the good old days ( when there were no vacines and we got TB from the cows milk)
I appreciate every one of you... for all you do and all you miss out on..... sending lots of chocolate to all of you today....and lots and lots of hugs..
Never heard of doozycards
tips: anyone use website: doozycards for greeting cards? I love it!
Also, remember, Glad to listen to the weather channel. There was a tornado near Denver. A tornado! Stay safe and make sure you have all your emergency supplies handy - in case the power goes out.
I remember when we were kids Mother's Day we would go to church, stop at the nursery to buy plants for the gardens. Not a chance on a day like this!
Later you guys!
Book - I agree with Veronica, hide the pills from your sister. Maybe hide them with the cleaning supplies she would never find them there. Also, make her take care of your Dad's hives for a while.Take care of YOU!!!!
Anne - I know it is hard to have a sibling like your sister who does not do anything and you do everything. Sorry about the lesions it must be hard on you. It is possible for you to remind your father about other times in his life. I would do that with my mom and it seemed a light came on somewhere and she remembered. Take care of YOU!!!!
Wandakay- Sorry to hear that your mom is not doing well. My mom would tell people not to come over either. However, when people did just drop by she was happy because people remembered her. I think that maybe she would like your siblings to just drop by. Maybe that is something you should try. I hope she feels better. There is no other place on earth that I have found that understood what I was going through other than this site. Please come in and sit awhile. This place is great therapy. Take care of YOU!!!
Susan - it sure is the little things that helps us through the day. Take care of YOU!!!
Hi all - I just spent a good part of the day with my brother. We are getting along right now. I do not think I am passed all the resentment though but it is better. I have not heard about the painting yet. I have been busy working on getting a job. I wish that the house would sell. I am rally getting anxious about it. Will we ever sell it. I am tired of spinning my wheels. I get hopeful when someone comes and then nothing happens. We had one couple that came twice but had not had an offer. I try to remember to pray to St. Joseph every day for financial help. I am hoping this month will be it. The insurance comes due in July and we need to be out of here be then. Well. you all take care of YOU!!!
Money and also too see if. I coud be. Moms poa,but she didnt understand it completely. So now we go to a lawyer ndnhave him talk to her. Anyway the bank told me and my mother no more giving out money. They are looking out forher interest. My sister isnt. Looking aat thelarger picture. At least I am. At least I dont have to worryt about her health. Going in may to my doctor for blood test, since I have high blood pressure and hypertension and iam onmeds for it also seizure medicine , but my neurolgist is taking me off it. It seems like we all have health problems one way or the other. My doctor who is her doctpor said she bwill probably live. To be a hundred. Help! Pami