Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
And YAAAAAY we rounded off the evening watching the Eurovision Song Contest, an annual event unique of its kind. I consider it a sort of patriotic duty to watch and cheer, and a moral duty to vote for the song I genuinely like best regardless of its country of origin. This year the contest's winner was Chicita Wurst, an Austrian lady with a full beard, singing a disturbing song about someone having hurt her very badly but, like the Phoenix, she planned to rise again despite that person whom she saw as her metaphorical fire. One wonders if she had anyone in particular in mind, or if it was a generalised grievance. She seemed to be a popular winner, receiving the maximum score from many countries including quite a few you wouldn't expect to be accepting of a transsexual with an unusual reluctance to sacrifice facial hair.

Actually, there is no way of explaining Eurovision to anyone who hasn't seen it. Watch footage by all means, if you're interested, but you have to bear in mind that ONLY Eurocrats steeped in federal ideology actually believe that this is a genuine cultural event. Every normal person knows it's a robo-festival dreamed up and funded by civil servants and has zero to do with music.On the other hand, it's often hysterically funny, and sometimes punctuated by one or two seriously good acts that have been chosen almost accidentally by their respective countries.

The UK came 17th. Alas. I would say why this was terribly unfair to our lovely singer, except I am having trouble remembering which one she was. But they were all pretty good this year so I'm not being rude to her.

Mother sat through this thing and then said she wanted to go back to the news channel. The news was that Chicita Wurst had won the Eurovision Song Contest...
(2)
Report

Reddog I agree about the way they usually keep silent - all I heard from my son about Afghanistan was "oh nothing happened, boredom was the biggest challenge."

I. Don't. Think. So. But if he wasn't telling who was I to ask?

There were commemorations of the D Day landings a few years back on the BBC, and an excitable children's t.v. programme took a few elderly veterans back to the beaches for their unique perspective on the battle. Some misguided producer had set up a machine gun emplacement for the old men to relive their youth. One of the veterans did take a turn at firing. The young presenter was enthusiastic until the solemn-faced veteran explained that he was remembering what he'd seen, and the penny dropped. Old soldiers know that war is not entertaining.

But the comradeship away from theatre, that's another thing altogether. My FIL, who was only in the forces for the war and left straight after; and my BIL, who was in the Navy but didn't see official action; both hugely valued the lifelong friendships they made. I suppose there's never anything quite like it again.
(2)
Report

Things seem to be better for my mom. She has had less falls. Having attitude problems when its time for daycare center. But I guess at least we are both sleeping now. She used to have the attitude fits/tantrums at night but now she is sleeping. Brother is having to "help" more and i know he is hating it. He still needs to know how to talk with her but at least im getting help i guess. Brother and I are taking mom out for the day to meet sister for a nice family lunch...hope all goes well. Happy Mothers to everyone
(3)
Report

annecurrey...I'm surprised your dad talks about WWII...My step dad stormed Normandy, my father-n-law was at Pearl Harbor the day it was attacked, and my husbands uncle was at Omaha Beach...their memories were so painful and they all seemed to feel like no one would understand who was not there and none of them would talk about it...my uncles were all over the Pacific...same thing...very rarely they would mention something in passing but most of the time you would never have known they were there...My husband was in Viet Nam for a year and our son served 2 tours in Afghanistan...same thing...never talk about it or if they do it's some kind of funny incident to make a point...I guess what I'm trying to say is your dad's fixation on it is really unusual...where was he stationed or what theater did he fight in??? Did he ever seek any kind of help after he came back???? Hope your situation gets better...would someone from your church sit with your dad a while to give you a break...when MIL was alive there were people who were willing to volunteer to sit with her but she would have had a fit...didn't want anything to do with our "church people" or anyone else for that matter...was to proud to be seen in public in a wheel chair...only place she was willing to go for a year and a half was to the doctors office and back...my husband and I had to take turns leaving the house...hope your sister steps up to the plate...my husband was raised an only child so there were no siblings to resent...best of luck
Ladee M so glad your test results came back ok, and that it was not what you were fearing...
everyone take care of yourselves...I'm trying to get ready for a garage sale so we can get back to a normal routine and take some time to just spoil each other, and enjoy life inside the house again...LOL
(2)
Report

OH, Anne, you have a therapist sister too? Lucky you! Why is it that they are so equipped to be able to counsel other people, but cannot provide hands on assistance with their own family? They would rather diagnose all of us. My sympathies to you surely. I know exactly what you are talking about. They also seem to be the most narcissistic ones.
(1)
Report

Oh Anne...I wish I could give you the big hug you need right now! {{{HUGS}}}

I am counting my blessings today. I took the 2 zebra finch babies from my male/female pair's last clutch of eggs to the pet store today, and earned $10 from that. Not much, but it's $10 I didn't have before. Then I had to turn around and spend that $10 on yard waste bags, but hey - easy come, easy go, right?

Mom is smelling particularly unpleasant today, but - surprise, surprise - she just went into the bathroom and I hear water running in the shower! Glory hallelujah, and angels singing! LOL I only had to ask once this time. :-)

It's the little things...never thought I'd see the day when getting my elderly mother to take a shower so the house doesn't smell bad would be something that made me so happy ....
(2)
Report

Nice vent, Anne C. - it's good to see some uninhibited steam coming out!

Wanda - I LOVE spellcheck. The image of somebody "posh-poshing the idea" is delightful :) - almost onomatopoeic! But what's less delightful is people who ARE NOT THERE dismissing the much better-informed sense of there being something wrong from the person who is there. If you are worried that your mother is becoming ill with depression, don't wait for permission or consensus - tell her doctor what you've observed.

Bronchitis does take it out of a body, it's true. Are things picking up with the longer hours of daylight and warmer weather? I know it sounds like a cliché but it's still true - a bright sunny day can do a lot to lift the spirits.

Don't be alone - we're only virtually in your home, but we are real. Big hug.
(2)
Report

Some days are good and I have a great time with mom. But most of the time she is really moody - like this past week. She has been sick with bronchitis and it is almost like she is dying - she has isolated herself from everyone and I fear she is depressed but other siblings posh posh the idea. How am I doing? not good. I have no one to talk to who can or will try to relate. My friends put their parents in nursing homes so they don't feel the pain of dealing with their parents. My siblings only see the days that they are here -which most of the times are good days. My concern is my mom isolating herself from everyone - even her children. They call to say they are coming over and she tells them not to - that she is not feeling well. This has been going on for almost 2 months now. I am the only one here.
(2)
Report

CM, not to worry.... I have not one regret staying for Stu and Gene...not one....cherished memories of both.... and in the end , that's all any of us have.

Anne..... the gentleman that I take care of does the same thing about his time in the service.... he never saw action, of any sort, but to hear him tell it , he was on the front lines.... I have learned to 'uh huh, oh really' at all the right times and couldn't tell you a thing he said....sorry you sister is a dolt and won't help.... but that is the main song sung on this site...... pay that 'fortune' and get out when you can.... it's only money, and sanity is scarce.
(1)
Report

How am I today? I can honestly say that I deeply resent my deadbeat sister who would rather see OUR old father in a nursing home than pitch in. Oh yes, she takes him to his blood draws once a month and arrives with bells and whistles. Weekends? I haven't been to a movie in two years or else I have to pay a a sitter a fortune to come in. Yesterday he had (yet again) another skin lesion removal procedure. Here we go, days of twice a day dressing changes, etc.
Our pastor came to visit and yay, it was a chance for the dissertation on WW11 for an hour before I left the room. You tell me folks, how is it that a 90 year spent 4 years in the military and that was the highlight of his life. How about the other 86 years if his life. This WW11 crap was shoved down my throat since I was 3. I am sick of hearing about some by-gone era, I am sick of not having my own life and I absolutely despise my dumb sister who, by the way is a therapist who can't get a job. Funny thing about therapists. Many if them go into that field to address their own problems and find that they are at home in a therapist's office even though they are on the other side if the desk. Pack of nuts.
(2)
Report

Ladee M Gene's family's approach was sickening. Not actually evil. Feckless, callous, deluded and all dumped on you. It was horrible, and I wasn't even there to witness it. No wonder it's weighing on you. But listen, you were the bright spot in his care, you did everything that was humanly possible and more on top. Be sad for him, but no regrets now.
(1)
Report

Veronica... whew !!! At least one thing is normal about me, !!!! LOL... thanks everyone for your support and kind words.... Onedoor, my plans are to get out of caregiving for good here soon..... I am being flexible but at the same time will not be 'guilted' into continuing to ruin my health.... the stress part.... it amazes me that all my numbers came back good.... but that doesn't change the fact that my nerves are shot.... and I am getting so resentful and starting to think very unprofessional..... so far it hasn't come out of my mouth... on the family members, not my charges....

And I truly appreciate all the support... and ya'll helping me to keep believing in myself..... it's not that so much, as I am simply tired, Apparently I am not making myself clear, about what working for C did to me... what I allowed to transpire.....and my heart has not been the same.... the straw that broke the camel's back????? I own that I stayed too long at that job... but on the other side of that coin.... I do not regret one second with Gene and Stu..... so, since life in general is a balancing act..... that's what I did.... it was selfishness I guess... not wanting to loose any time with either one of them..... and in a matter of months Gene died.... I have such strong feelings about what happened and tho 'hate' is not what I feel.... I don't 'hate' anyone.... but from pure neglect and C's family absolutely aware she could not care for Gene... I will always believe the man died from neglect..... but I had to leave that job.... and I am tired of 'leaving'..... tired of the stupid hassles with family members just to get to do my damned job !!!!! I know I am not conveying how much I need a break from all this.... too many of you know exactly what I am talking about....many of the feelings are the same, paid or not.....but just can't seem to regroup after C..... and the bottom line, I don't have to... it is what it is.... I'll grow wherever I am planted .... and I know a vacation would not help.... ahhh, I'm tired of thinking about it.... going to go make some clay dentures now... lol... love ya'll, and my gratitude for all of you never changes.... and that is a good thing for me..... love, hugs, angels and chocolate....
(2)
Report

Ladee M congratulations on being normal - well as far as the blood tests are concerned anyway. At least thats a good start. maybe sculpting dentures is in your future after all.

Book can you hide dads's pills in the fridge or freezer. put it is a food box of something sis would never touch.
(1)
Report

LadeeM, you have had more than your share...but I wonder how many families are in denial or just feel superior...there r so many people out there who think everything is owed to them...those attitudes are the ones that ruin so much. Oh my, i could get on my most recent soapbox of ungratefulness!!! From what I have learned of you, you r the good one, the one who will give, give, give. Thepeople who take, take, take will use and abuse you. Somewhere out there, is the family who loves and cherishes...hopefully they will find you soon and lift your spirits!!
(1)
Report

Ladee, I'm so glad your test resort came out okay!! Hanging there !!
(1)
Report

Pami, great to hear !!!! one less thing to worry about...

Onedoor, ya, you know if I had one bad family, well that is to be expected every now and then... but for me to fall off into one after the other... I just have to question what part I play in it all... my attitude? My tone of voice? something.... or as I choose to see it... it is God telling me.... give it up... let it go... just be the princess you were meant to be. LOL
(1)
Report

Good news my mom blood test came back great! Yay! Pami
(5)
Report

hmmm, typed something here but when I had to login to send it, it seems to have disappeared... well *(&($^& darn!
LadeeM- you are not jinxed, but you have had some pretty bad runs, haven't you? (with clients' families, I mean!) I didnt read back to see what the problem is right now but I know you will work something out. Just make sure you take care of you! I have been pretty lucky with the people who work with my mom but then I am a pretty understanding person anyway.... Too bad you cant come to where i live and help me with my mom!
Book , so sorry you not only have to battle your father but your sister too! Does she just not get it???? or is she too intimidated by your dad? want us to come over there and knock some sense in to her??? wish we could! we would probably form a very long line to take turns!!!
(2)
Report

WOO HOO !!! LadeeM.....
(1)
Report

CM, I just came from my room. The puzzles are store bought and I counted 60 pieces.
(1)
Report

CM, I like puzzles but I do not have the patience to do 100 pieces. I bought for my my nieces when they were around 4 those big cut puzzles of 10 pieces and each one was a nursery rhyme theme. All were colorful. Lady who lived in the shoe and the kids all over the shoes. Little miss muffett and a spider dangling above.... Why don't you try those first and then work your way up to difficult? Because those puzzles can get so expensive, I also found some great pictures, glued it to cardboard formerly a box, then cut out the shapes. Hough, maybe that was where the nursery rhyme puzzles came from. Children's books are just soooo expensive. I may have ended up making it. It's proudly hanging in my bedroom wall.

It's morning, time to get up. He is pissed off. He just discovered the pill bottle missing.
(1)
Report

The puzzle is for age 4 upwards, I honestly thought she'd find it easy. Thank you, both - I suppose we've all got to take mistakes in our stride, haven't we?

Book, would there be any mileage in telling every pharmacist and health food store you know your father goes to that he is allergic to these products and if they sell to him they are risking his health? You've got to cut off supply without its being your fault, somehow. Goodness it must be frustrating.

Just supper to get out of the way (and bath, and t.v., and late snacks, and eye drops, and meds, and the rest… but you know what I mean) and today will be done. "Come what come may, time and the hour run through the roughest day." I wouldn't mind but it started so well.
(2)
Report

Countrymouse... it had nothing to do with you.... you did great and picked the perfect puzzle.... maybe it was meant for YOU to begin with.... she will be alright... enjoy the puzzle...!!!

My test results came back.... I am perfect.... all my numbers are as they should be..... my bad cholesterol is only one point above what it should be.... so not to bad for a fat woman who loves chocolate, but lets stress do her in..... hmmmmm.
(6)
Report

Countrymouse please don't get to down or be to hard on yourself you try to help her with the puzzle is wonderful seriously your a good daughter and loving person please think that you absolutely didn't inadvertently depressed her. Sending lots of love.
(2)
Report

Feeling deeply demoralised. Mother had a cataract removed from her left eye a week ago; so what with wanting to get her using that eye, and the general presumption that mental stimulation is good for her, and that her fine motor skills could do with a bit of a work out, I've been searching high and low for a jigsaw puzzle. Very picky about specifications. It had to be interesting but not difficult. Colourful but not garish. Large pieces but not for babies. Anyway… thought I'd found the perfect one: 100 pieces, a range of sizes, and the picture is a map of the British Isles - I thought it would make it easier for her, because she should know the rough layout anyhow.

Only she doesn't. She's forgotten it. So that was a bit depressing. Daughter and I sat and encouraged her without actually cheating, and eventually she got the corners and edges sorted out. Then it ground to a halt. And she can't remember anywhere she's lived. Or where we born. Or when. Or when she was born. And I'm not sure if she REALLY can't remember or if I've just inadvertently depressed her and put her into a negative tailspin.

Oh well. Might as well go and finish it myself. At least it'll keep me out of mischief for five minutes, me and my bright ideas… :(
(3)
Report

My dad accuses us of taking/stealing his stuff by saying, "SOMEBODY is taking my so-and-so. They better return it. Stupid, taking from a sick person." etc....
(2)
Report

As I type I'm ignoring the jabber about how "someone keeps moving my stuff when I'm not here"..

I wonder how that happens when you never leave your house without me!!!
(3)
Report

He tells her to jump, she doesn't even ask how high. She just jumps.

I just hate to hide the pills in the bedroom. The only room in the house with air con is the livingroom, where father is with the hospital bed. My room is so hot, it's stuffy. I don't even stay in it too long because I start sweating immediately - even with the fan on. When I touch the prostate bottle, it's hot. And the pills are not suppose to be in a hot room. So, I keep putting it back in the air con room, then sis does this, and then I'm forced to hide it again. Yeah, same crap - different day. It's like the mice chasing it's tail. Or was that the dog chasing it's tail?
(2)
Report

Book ugh! Same crap different day! This battles seems to never end.
(0)
Report

Father takes his herbal supplement pills 4 x day. I noticed that when he takes it, he breaks out bad in hives. So I hid the opened bottle and dispense 3 a day. One in the morning, 2 in the evening. This stopped the hives and it went away. We are constantly fighting over this. Father would get so angry, that he would try to hit/kick me when I go near him. But I was firm.

Now, sis keeps commenting how forgetful he is. And every time I come home from work, he would ask for his 2 pills - but it's no longer in the dispenser. So I always verify with sis if she gave it to him for dinner. She said yes. So she KNOWS how forgetful he is.

Then one night, I saw him pick up a bottle by his table, opened it, and took pills out. I was shocked and then angry when I saw it was the prostate bottle. Sis gave him the whole bottle! Now he's taking it whenever he thinks it's night time (after he wakes from a short nap.) I took the bottle away and hid in the bedroom. I knew that sis would just go to the cabinet, open a New bottle and give it to him. So, I confiscated all 4 unopened bottles and hid those, too. Terrible arguments from that night on because he wanted that bottle. He was also so mad when sis told him that I also took the bottles in the cabine. He demanded for it. I said no. I will give it to him daily.

So every day, I put aside 2 for dinner. For the past 3 or 4 days, I noticed that the pills remained in the dispenser pill box. I just figured sis did not give it to him for dinner and he 'forgot' to take it.

Tonight, as I was changing his pampers and his shirt, he was scratching himself like crazy. I looked at his back. From this morning to tonight, he has broken out in very bad rashes/hives! I KNEW that he was overusing pills again. I turned to his table by his bed. There! On the table, was a prostate pill bottle! I am just so angry and Disgusted with sis. I can't believe it. I'm tired of all this b.s. I try not to interfere. But if I don't, these pills can damage his insides and then I will have more work to do. Not sis. Me.

She can be eating dinner right here in the livingroom. When I walk in from work at 7pm, father would immediately ask me what's for dinner. Me! So, now I have to find soft food for him, and meat/rice for me. Sis finishes her meal. Does she offer to get him dinner so that I can get mine? No. Instead, she said to just give him banana cake! {{imaginary thunking of my head against the wall}}. I gave him the microwavable Lean Cuisine noodle. He ate all the food from his plate. I don't know anymore. Yep, I did confiscate that other prostate pill bottle. I can't wait until tomorrow when father notices it's missing from his table. Not!!!!
(0)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter