This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Get going on that probiotic, what a difference in my mom! Incredible!
I hope things improve, you need to take care of yourself..
VOILA! The frequency much reduced and at times somewhat normal. We also eliminated real butter, don't know if that has anything to do with it, but I'm not even going to try it. She is back on a normal diet.
The women looks up at me and says "I understand my FIL is 95"!
Last night..... then sleep, glorious sleep.... love ya'll... later, when I have a rested brain cell....
Like you, I was mulling siblings and the unanswerable question of WHY they're like they are. Thinking I should write to brother before it's too late, the time will have gone, and I'll never have tried to change things. But on the other hand…
Goodness, isn't it discouraging??! Well. Getting it off your chest helps a bit. Hope you have a better day today.
Tex - I understand about the doctor visit. I am sorry you have to go so far. My mom loved walmart. Even though she was in a electric cart she wanted to go down every isle. She would ask what is this and what is that. This was always after work. It would take a couple of hours. It was always hard to find a cart too. Oh well, she did not get out a lot so this was her social time. She always was grateful that we went shopping. Take care of YOU!!!!
Pam - So sorry about the wreck. I hope it all turns out well. So glad that your mom is in such good health. Take care of YOU!!!!!
LadeeM - I am sorry your disappointed. It will get better. I agree with you about not work for the other girl. It would set a precedent. She will want you to do it more. At least she is a good caregiver. You care so much that your lady does not have her schedule changed. You are a winder. Take care of YOU!!!
H there - We had a open house on Sunday and apparently someone liked it so much they wanted to see again this afternoon. I am trying not to get my hopes up. The house has been listed in one of the for sale magazines. On line you can click on the house and get a video showing it. This is so great!! I guess it is the time of year. Job hunt is going well. I am working with a employment specialist for the state who is helping me. I will meet with her again tomorrow. I hope to get one soon. Money is really getting low. I do not know how I will pay the bills. So good news and bad. A friend and I went out to lunch and had a good time. You all take care okay.
the girl hired to work for me on Thurs nights has already asked for the 15th and the 22nd off, both Thurs.... hmmmm... not helping me any... said she would work that Wed night... uh no..... I'll do it....too many changes for Lorene and she is doing so well, we are not going to upset the schedule... sure wish the girl had told the daughter this BEFORE she hired her... so right now... I am a little angry, disappointed....so, so much for Ladee getting a turn.... I'll do the self pity thing for a little while this evening... get over myself.... and go do my job....
If we do this now with the new girl, it will set a precedent.... and I am not willing.... I have worked with her in the past, she is an excellent cg.... but am feeling taken advantage of.... so, nope, I'll work, get some extra cash, so when I have my exhausted nervous breakdown.... I'll be able to pay for it.... lol.... love and hugs to all of you..... Red, happy to hear you will be sleeping in your own room tomorrow night..... I know you are looking forward to it.....
Sue, sorry to hear about your friend....things happen so quickly sometimes.... so important to not take much for granted..... and have no regrets....
So, heading toward the future.... hugs to you all..
If so, it sounds as if it's the civil engineers who are to blame! That junction needs a better layout and better signposting. But if you were also turning right and he still managed to hit you then yes it was his fault, unless you were coming up fast on the inside (unlikely, I'd have thought!). You're right - let your insurers fight it out between them.
At least you found a helpful person - gosh! - and had good news from your mother's doctor. Wish you a better week ahead.
Today moms doctor said she is in excellent health.
Sorry to hear so many are having such a rough time..... Hope it's just a "Monday Thing" and things get better for all of you... Hugs..