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Thanks Lav and Book....i started this job as part time last july and just happened to turn into fulltime which is a good thing. Mom is at daycare all day anyway and caregiver or another family member picks her up. Its best for her to rely on someone else anyway. Its hard adjusting to more hours but its making me happier. When I was working fulltime before it was hard it was second shift, had basically no homecare and only daycare. I have to fight and beg my brother that lives near by but i told him he is helping. Mom is sleeping better, but crankier in the morning but still just trying to control her pain. She stopped tearing at the blanket now just throws pillows at me. Hugs to everyone...thanks for all the support
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Thanks Austin..... ya, we both knew what our bond was.... and as far as the family.... well, there is Karma and then the fact that they are stuck with Carolyn.... sooooo, sorry, that part makes me smile......
And Gene is with Stu,, and they are both at peace and perfect and no longer suffering any of our earthbound bs....... so I have my memories.... and they are priceless.... and for that I am grateful....

Lav, same thing happened to me with some jewelry I made, with gemstones, no less, and put on consignment.... they never did find that woman.... but , again. there is Karma.....so... it's out of my hands.... all the things going on around me right now.... out of my hands.....

love and hugs to all of you... and LadeeC, thanks for the CHOCOLATE !!!!
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Ladee I am so sorry about Gene-I know he knew how much you loved and am so sorry they did not give you a chance to say good-by to him-his heart was happy for all you did for him-his life was good because of you and you know he felt your love.
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Red - We are trying to track down our stuff. Believe me I am more than angry, I am out for revenge. I really have no idea how much the painting is worth. He was my great-grandfather and was the painter for the Court of Austria. There are at least 7 people on our list of people that want their stuff back. I am following up this morning. I have to go back to the place and make a complaint with the police. I hate to go all the way downtown but I am on a mission from Mom. Take care of YOU!!!
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It's mango season. Major sinus/allergy acting up. Doesn't help this house is surrounded by mango trees. Everyone seems to be suffering with sinuses. I told them it's mango season. Some did not connect mango to sinus. Yep, my doc was the one who made the connection for me. Anyway, tired of taking Tylenol then Mortrin trying to get rid of the headaches but not the stuffed face. Then take the sinus pill which causes my stomach to hurt.

So, this morning, I woke up with a stuffed face. I had enough time to open a new 16oz bottled water. I made a mix of 1/4 Cup organic apple cider vinegar plus 1 tablespoon of honey. Poured it into my bottled water. I sipped it throughout work today. Wow! NO stuffy face. NO headache. But, my stomach didn't like it - too acidic. It's 910pm, and I'm still sipping it. I can breathe thru both sides of my nose. Darn! That means I will be able to smell father's poop better, too.

I just came from a dinner function by an airline. Most of the "meat" was shrimp. And the only real meat was so hard and too many chewy fats, I gave up trying to eat it. Everyone was raving how delicious the shrimp shumai and the shrimp sushi was. sniff. sniff. And I couldn't eat it. It's awful to eat a FREE dinner at a hotel and Not be able to eat all that seafood. I think they added that beef as an afterthought. And I'm a meat eater. All well.. they had delicious cheesecake and chocolate mousse cake. Yum!!! I love eating it together. Everyone was stuffed..except me. Being allergic to shrimp in an island surrounded by the ocean sure sucks!!!
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Lavender...our daughter bought a coffee table at a local furniture store and paid for it in advance...they did the same thing and closed up shop and left town...I found out the name of the owner of the building and tracked them down...he had a store in another town...she did get her coffee table...
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I have set a goal for 6 months to get out of caregiving...... God knows my heart is not in this anymore, and I'm tired of grief..... and being treated 'less than'..... so, doors will open, and I will keep an open mind...... and what ever happens, happens.... I would rather live in a cardboard box under a bridge than to continue to compromise my integrity...... at least I would be free....

Love and hugs to all of you, prayers for the hard times you are experiencing....and deep heartfelt gratitude to all my awesome friends that have my back....
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Oh LAV auto correct!!
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Lab what the heck? That's terrible that the shop took your painting and ran.. File that complaint, maybe someone knows where they went..
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Red - I am so glad that you are returning to normal (whatever that is). It will take time to adjust to MIL not being there. It took some times for me too. It is great that you got to relax for Easter. Take care of YOU!!
Chrissy - Great news about the job and someone taking the load off of you a little. I hope the chiropractor helps you. Take care of YOU!!!!!
Book - Shame on you for reporting Glad. LOL I hope you will get relief for your pain soon. Take care of YOU!!!!
Assand - It is great that you were able to get out. I had to wait for the right moment to tell mom about Dr. too. Take care of YOU!!!
Monday - A terrific thing to do for your mom. It was so good that you were doing something positive for yourself. How was the Zoo? Take care of YOU!!!
LadeeM - So sorry about Gene. At least he knew you cared for him and have some wonderful memories. They should have told you. I hope the job situation gets better. Tale care of YOU!!!
Hi everyone - I've been looking for a job but it is hard to get back to that. I am soooo lazy. A month ago I brought a painting that was painted by my Great- grandfather and put it on consignment with a antique place downtown. I was on consignment for another month. I called them yesterday and the phone was disconnected. OH NO!!! I went down there and it is closed and the place is cleaned out. While I was there another person had the same problem. Apparently, I am not alone there were numbers listed of other people in the same situation. I will be going down there again tomorrow and file a complaint. This ain't to go away. Don't mess with the potato lady's daughter. I will have to tell you that story another time. Take care YOU ALL!!!
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Thank you, Book - the house is up for sale and if we get any offers we'll sell; but we're not exactly having to beat back the crowds… I'm just wondering what happens to that plan, though, if he does get ill. It's not like I don't care about him any more.

Tell you what, I'll worry about it if it happens and not before.
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Thank you all for the love and support... I am so heartbroken that I did not get to tell him bye and how much I loved him.... but in my heart, I know he knew... that will have to do I guess..... I wrote in my journal right after I quit out there... that I gave them two months before they managed to kill him with neglect... and so it came to pass , two months later.....

He is with Stu and that makes my heart rejoice for both of them.... he had no quality of life anymore.... so God blessed him and took him.....

It took everything I had to suck it up and go to work last night.... and of course L had a rough night.... didn't sleep..... just one of those things that life throws at you to see what you are all about.....

And ya'll know how I feel about the family, so no need to beat that dead horse.... so typical... doesn't mean it didn't hurt and make me angry..... but all things happen for a reason..... I have to keep telling myself that....

I appreciate all of you..... and it makes me feel like I 'belong' somewhere being here with all of you..... my heart hurts......
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Oh LadeeM I so sorry about Gene.. I know you cared for him deeply.. An email? So sad no one cared enough to let you know where he was staying.. Again I'm sorry about Gene.. Hugs
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Ladee, So, sorry for your loss, you seemed to enjoy Gene so much and did a wonderful job caring for him.

You know his family probably thought they should let you know about the NH. Hope that the current situation straightens out for you.
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LadeeM, I am so sorry to hear about Gene! And I know you are hurting! So sad his family didn't consider your feelings about him! But be comforted to.know he knew you cared while ypu were there and he knows now! Now you have 2 guardian angels watching over you!
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CM, sorry to hear about the ex having prostate cancer. That seems to increase as men get older (like women get breast cancer as they pass menopause.) You all might be left dangling until they figure out what kind of prostate cancer he has. And what stage it's in. Will this affect you adversely with your portion of the house? Maybe not - if he is willing to settle the sale before his children decide they want it? Please keep us updated.
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Worrying a bit. Just for background: my partner and I aren't partners any more, we're selling our jointly-owned house, I'll move with my mother and he will be free to do as he pleases. That's the plan, anyway.

Then yesterday he's diagnosed with prostate cancer. Of course we need a lot more information than that, fortunately the health services in this area are pretty good so they won't keep him waiting around too long; but… ah. Not sure what this will do to his plans or mine.

At least his kids are being sweet to him for a change.

Well, fingers crossed it'll be the slow never-need-to-know-it's-there kind. Toes crossed too.
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Oh, People..! Why won't they THINK? I'm so sorry, LadeeM, both for Gene and for you. I'm sad to think that it's a reflection of the way that family behaved that it never crossed their little minds to tell you what was going on.

I heard this the other day, I've found it comforting: "don't be sad that it's over, be glad that it happened." Be glad you were there for Gene for all that time. Feel better soon xxx
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LadeeM, I'm so sorry. Gene has a piece of your heart. You were a lifesaver for him because you brought conversations and laughter in his life. He was able to talk about all his travels. And you Listened. {{{HUGS}}}
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So sorry LadeeM...Hugs
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Awwwwwwww, LadeeM ... As I read your words about Gene, I choked a tear. *sighs* So very sorry for that loss. It never matters that we know it's coming. It just hurts. *sending warm hugs and chocolate*

LadeeC
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Monday, what a beautiful tribute to your mom.... you have given me some ideas for the anniversary of my moms passing.... thank you for sharing this with us.... and sending hugs to your hurting heart.... I do understand...

Glad, why would I scare your mom??? Seriously, may be something I need to look at....hugs and thanks for the positive response.... I am so lost right now about this whole care giving thing....

Assa, ya, this was supposed to be 'temporary'...... and as I just shared, I am just lost right now... got an email that Gene passed away Sunday.... no one bothered to let me know he was in a local NH, where I could have gone and told him how much I loved him..... and tell him goodbye....my heart hurts.... and I'm tired.... just tired of all of it....
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Monday,
You sound as if you are getting there. What a great idea to celebrate your mom today!
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April 22. My mom's birthday. On April 22, 2008 she had a massive stroke while sitting at our dining room table celebrating her birthday with all our family. Last year I wrote on facebook that APRIL 22, 2013 was "the best day ever". I wrote that because everything I had read about strokes over the years kept saying that stroke survivors barely make it to 5 years after their stroke. I was so relieved and so happy and so grateful that my mom was not one of those statistics. As always, we had a big birthday party celebration for her. This year, I ordered a birthday cake again for her from our favorite bakery. Yesterday I drove to pick it up. When the baker showed me the cake I couldn't stop crying; I told them that my mom recently died but that I wanted to get her a birthday cake to celebrate her life.

My mom was very creative; she played the piano, created songs, painted, and wrote.

I took one of the pieces she wrote and had it printed on a big postcard-sized magnet.

I bought different-colored mason jars and put little white battery-operated twinkling lights in each them. I wrapped different-colored ribbon around the top of each mason jar and got little silver hearts and crosses to attach to the ribbon. I designed a little card with her pic in it and dried flowers glued to the front of the little card; I attached the card to the ribbon, too.

I finally finished a 90-minute video/movie maker with pics of my mom and our family and friends and background music of everyone from Sinatra, Bone Thugs 'N Harmony, and Rod Steward to The Piano Guys.

I put the CDs, the big magnets, and the glass jars with their lights and batteries in gift boxes and then wrapped the boxes and made big bows for all of them. I then mailed nearly 50 of these gifts - in celebration of my mom's birthday - to family and friends.

In a few minutes I am on my way to our awesome, pristine ZOO - where my mom and I ventured to once a week for years. Just thinking of going to all our special spots at the ZOO alone, today, is unbearable. I don't know how I'll make it through.

I celebrate the day my mom was born.
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Book YOU reported my post?!! (*^*&&^$%^$^

LOL! I've done it by mistake as well.
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LadeeM what the heck? $8... That's below minimum wage here in MA.. I would ask for a raise, that's if you really want to continue working there..

Yes I was at the Marathon last year, it was frightening to say the least.. We had a long but rewarding day yesterday, now I can move past last year and look for to the next...I meet many runners from all over the world, young and old, famous and regular Joe's like us and that day their all just runner's....

But man I'm pooped, you'd think I ran LOL.. Day started at 3am and I got home at 9pm.. My daughter stayed with Mom and she's a bit "off" today.. We'll get back on schedule today I hope.. I was nervous about leaving for so long, but volunteering for the Marathon is something I look forward to and I do not want to give it up. Mom will survive.. Wait till she finds out she has a Dr's appointment today!!!
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LadeeM, do what you need to do. Too bad that they don't keep to their words. They'll just have to learn the hard way.

I had a luncheon function. We took a tour of the LSG Sky Chef facility. Security lockdown, cameras, super hygienic protocols (dealing with food that is served on the airlines - cannot afford food poisoning), etc... They served one of the best strawberry cakes I have eaten in a long time. Delicious!!! We were invited to a meal taste from one of the airlines. I had the choice of omelets or pasta. I chose omelets. There was a side dish of beef and some kind of pickled food. Well, an hour later, I got this really bad pounding headache. I recognize the sudden pounding. I only get this when I've eaten ajijimoto (msg - monosodium glutamate). I grabbed my purse, and found only 1 allergy pill. I took the other pill at a restaurant and forgot to replenish it. The pill had expired since October 2013 - last year. I was desperate. I took it. Whew! that did the trick with the pounding headache. It was still there but at least it wasn't pounding. I'm Now Replenishing my supply that I keep in my purse.
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Book, I have 16 years experinace, I think a tad more money is in order... the deal was, I was 'temporary' until they saw if the other lady was coming back.... so it was ok for awhile..... but I have been at this too long, and I know when someone thinks they can keep piling sh*t on my 'job description' and think they don't have to pay for it.... and the night caregivers here make $12 to $15 an hour.... and I took a cut in pay with this job..... h**l, I'm tired of thinking about it... going to bed.... hugs to everyone...
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Glad, I just accidentally Reported your post. Darn cursor was on top of it when I was trying to scroll up. Sorry...

LadeeM, I used to pay my nieces and the former caregiver $10/hour. Then, I got a pay cut, and could no longer pay for them. So, fave sis pays her daughters about $50 for them to babysit their grandfather from 830am-300pm.

Judda, I hope I'm able to follow through with the book on pain. I'm so tired of this daily neck pain. It never goes away. It's my sleeping position and the wrong pillow. It would be perfect if I can sleep flat but due to my acid reflux, I need to sleep elevated. And it's a terrible position that's lousy for your neck when sleeping. I have tried a real foam neck brace, doesn't work. U-shape gel pillow from Macys, didn't work. Hopefully....the book will help.

Chrissy, great that you're now working full-time. It sure does help a lot when it comes to relieving caregiving stress. Very bad when the work stress Adds on to the caregiving stress. But in the long run, it's so worth it.

Rodney, thanks for the info....
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Taking care of older adults is challenging, will test your patience and can lead to stress. The task itself is overwhelming even if you're doing this because you really love that person or you really care for that person. Family caregiving can eventually take a toll on your health, which can affect your efficiency as a caregiver. In order to avoid stress, you should consider joining support groups or talk to someone just to release the stress you're feeling. Keeping everything to yourself is not a good idea. Share your caregiving experience to others as a way to vent what you're feeling and also to give pointers to others who have taken the responsibility of providing care to their loved ones.
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