This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Hugs to all !!!
L and I do great... I can usually help her out of her 'moods', getting to where I just ignore Mr.M and make 'uh huh' noises to make him think I am listening to his stories... or his negativity.... thank God they got to bed early.... listening to him would cause me to do some serious meds after awhile....
So, starting the job search... AGAIN..... why can't I find a family like some of YOU?????
Poor Book can you take some vacation or family leave?
I emailed customers their eticketed itinerary - and their ticket wasn't even issued! I'm going to have to remember to buy chamomile tea and somehow persuade father to drink it before bedtime. I need my rest. Or I will end up losing my job sooner than later. It's 8pm and I was hopping around AC and my mind is like water-logged, bogged-down, etc... I would take the tea but I've found out that I'm allergic to it.
Easter? Family was here and I already wanted them all to be gone 2 hours later...at 4pm. It was too hot to remain outside on the front porch. But atleast it was very windy. I hope you all enjoyed your family and grands.
Off to volunteer at the Boston Marathon.. This will be my 8th year and we will take back Marathon Monday.
I'm just fooling myself into thinking that it's only the Jumbo shrimp that I'm allergic to. Hence the experiments. But, deep down, with the seafood spaghetti lastnight, I am beginning to see the 'writing in the wall'. My allergy may be spreading from shrimp to all seafood. But, I need to test this to make sure. Fortunately, the only time I eat seafood is when someone is paying for it. So, it will be a while before I have another taste of seafood. I will do my best, then, to avoid shrimp...even the tiny ones.
Heart try not to be upset about Mom's remarks in church. I was shocked when I first came to the US that people felt free to converse normally while waiting in a church for a service to begin. Mom was merely having her mind go back to her youth and those old memories stirred annoyance at people seemingly being irreverent in a holy place. You of course were embarressed and maybe you could have spoken to those present that with her dementia Mom frequently thinks things should be as they were decades ago and was not being disrespectful to those present. Remember sisters are people too . They may be married to the church but they do know how the world works too. Enjoy that beautiful lily and rejoice tomorrow. The Lord is risen so pray for peace on earth and sing loudly to drown out those annoying little remarks beside you. Fuss with mom's dress and put on your prettiest bonnett. Happy Easter.
Just a side note on that Korean ferry sinking which was filled with high school kids going to the island for a 4 days weekend. I was surprised when I found out that the captain and at least 2 of his workers were on the first and only lifeboat released from the sinking ferry. When land radio asked questions about the sinking ferry, he gave such vague info. Then he had it announced several times to not move, not leave your rooms, stay put. The kids listened. Yet, this captain and his men went and released Only One lifeboat - which they got in. I'm not sure if you all keep track of the news. But this has been happening more often. So many cruise ships and others in which the captain and the crew abandoned ship Without telling the passengers. The vice president of one of the school, who coordinated the trip, committed suicide. He was on the ferry, was able to escape. I guess he just couldn't take the guilt of surviving and yet Most of his students were trapped inside the ferry. One teacher, despite the announcement saying to stay put, had texted to his students to put on their life jackets and get out. .... Then there's the story of the 7 year old's older brother (of not much years from her) gave her his life jacket and stayed behind with their parents. The girl survived but the 3 did not.
Fave sis and I have not had me-time together in a long time. Today we finally did get to have lunch - at Cappriociosa. I had a free seafood spaghetti coupon. I stuffed myself on it (no shrimp in it.) I brought home the leftovers. And I just ate it for dinner. 2 hours later - and I'm itching all over. Is my allergy from shrimp now spreading to clams (or is that oyster?) and octopus? As soon as I hit Submit, I'm going to take my allergy pill. The itchiness was only on my upper thigh. Now it's spreading on my arms and my lower legs. Just now, I started scratching my forehead. Gotta do it now, my face is beginning to itch. Later...