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SA, Read about Caucasian shepherd, may attack your sons when they get obnoxious. But then maybe it would help straighten them out.
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SA, like windy said. A dog may be just the ticket for you! We adopted a 6 year old golden retriever from Golden Retriever Rescue last July. What a blessing that dog has been for all of us! And adopting an older dog of the mellow, friendly variety has been wonderful for all of us. We never would have thought about a puppy, too many training issues than with an older dog. Then when the older dog, that will provide hours of companionship and comfort, settles in, then think whether you want to consider adding a puppy to the mix.

Check out Foothills Golden Retriever Rescue, they are also looking for foster placements. You could try before you make the commitment. They have some nice looking dogs on their website.
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norest, I had a Newfoundland/Lab mix dog that was 150 lbs. and he liked to cuddle! I don't think he ever realized he wasn't a little puppy anymore. Sure miss the big guy and it's been 17 years since he died. I've lost two other dogs and two cats in that timeframe. Life sure does go fast.

You had me LOL about the face mask. My little Jack Russell would probably bark himself silly if I wore one. For now, he just tolerates me plucking my chin hairs. :) What's up with those darn things??? Dread the day I'm blind and they grow a foot long! Might have to pay the neighbor girl to keep me beard free. LOL

SA, a dog might be just the thing for you right now, even if you think it might be too much. They ask for so little compared to the love and comfort they give, pure unrequited love. It might do your poor, beat up heart some good. I mean that in a good way, I hope you know. I think you would make a fantastic mom for a little pup. Take my 2 cents as you will. :)
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Norest...LMAO! I just had this image of the dogs face pop into my mind... I love it! XD

Anyone heard of a Caucasian Shepherd? I'm thinking of getting one. I'd like to have a dog for protection. I just don't know if I'm ready for all the time and training at this point. Too much on my plate already. But I do miss having a big dog around... Maybe down the road.
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We have a 115 lb St. Bernard/ Golden mix. His routine is he will come up on bed at night and lay his head on me while I scratch his head. After 10 minutes he usually jumps down and sleeps on his blanket (Thank goodness as he's huge!) Last night, I had a facial mask on. It is a prepackaged white paper- like mask with holes in where the eyes, nose and mouth would be. When he jumped up on the bed to get his loving.... he looked at me with a horrified look on his face....came over sniffed the facial mask and abruptly turned around and jumped off the bed! It was so funny! Poor baby!
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SA its ok if you are quiet..... no doubt someone who likes to talk alot will enjoy that! I hope you have a good day.
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Thank God for spring! We've had so much rain lately. I'm ready for some warm, sunny days at last!

Lav, glad you're getting out and about! Don't blame you about the cell phone!

God, I wish I could go out and enjoy it. A friend of mine, Odetta, asked me to go to a hockey game with a bunch of her co-workers. The thought of being surrounded by strangers, required to make endless, polite conversation and small talk... **twitch** No. No can do. I couldn't pretend to be perky and bubbly...which isn't me to begin with and takes work to fake it...lol....if my life depended on it right now.

My neighbor wants me to go to church today. I told her I would, but I'm not. I intended to go, yesterday. But this morning the thought of being around the masses just raises my anxiety level. It's not that I'm avoiding God, I'm just avoiding people in general. God I can handle. People in their hundreds I can't.

I used to think I'd be a lot less stressed when my mom was gone and in a way that's very true. On some levels, I AM a lot less stressed. But I have an entire host of new issues to deal with, mostly the fallout of being in the care giver role so long, the white hot burn of the pain of so much anger and hate...and regret... for so many years with my mom, so many suppressed emotions demanding attention....trying to act 'normal' around others when I feel like a full blown loon just isn't possible anymore. How the hell do you explain that to people?

You don't. So, I just tend to disappear and avoid everyone...or at least, avoid pressure :/
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Glad - I hope your sister comes around. My brother feels really guilty right now because he was not there for our mom. He said that he did the best he could which was BS. SInce I was there he did not bother with her. I do know that he really regrets it. Take care of YOU!!!
Red - You are in my thoughts and prayers as you are going through this. Just know that we are all here for you. It is the hardest part. take care of YOU!!!
Book - I hope your father will become more cooperative with you. Take care of YOU!!!!

Hi there everyone - Spring is here. I hope everyone else is getting better weather. I attended a crawfish festival today and had a great time. I purposely left my phone at my friends house when we went because I had spent over three years tied to my phone in case my mom needed me. Before we left for the fest I called my brother that I would be gone for the day. Yesterday we had the first potential buyer go through the house. These people want to see the house again tomorrow. My bro is not paying his share of the bills for the house. Everytime I talk to him he tells me how much money he owes. Well that is not my fault. He and his wifey go out to eat twice a week. I told him that he needed to help me pay the home insurance. He complained the whole conversation. I am keeping track of what I pay for everything. The resentment is building again. My problems seem so small for what you all are going through. Please take care of yourselves.
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Laura, thank you, there are so many siblings this way. I also think by placing blame on us it gives them a certain amount of satisfaction because they think they will somehow not be held accountable. Blaming me didn't work, I'm much stronger than that so pick on the weak one that would not understand any of this if she knew it or wouldn't remember if she was told anything about it. They are absolutely unbelieveable. As long as they can blame someone, or something else they do not need to feel guilty about their selfishness and narcissistic behavior. Just make it about them and their problems.
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Book... I spent a LOT of time distracting mother because she forgot she had just eaten... sometimes (even though it makes us feel guilty)... its just best to leave the room... If we aren't in close proximity, they forget the things they INSIST they need... :P... and if he's yelling into the other room for you... go outside... spring is in the air! :)

Glad... I'm sorry your sister is blaming you for HER shortcomings! I've heard it all! My brother blamed me for him not coming to see mother. It was because I had it all under control and didn't need him! HAH! I asked... nay I BEGGED him to come sit with her occasionally so I could work... out of a week... he came ONCE! Guess that was my fault too... :P

Red... This will be the hardest thing you do in your life. My thoughts are with you.

I hope all of you have a GREAT evening!
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Glad as you know this is the hardest part of caregiving and everyone has you in their thoughts and prayers. At this time check to see which medications are essential and ask if you can stop things like statins and B/P meds, they no longer matter. Pain and anxiety are the things to control. Diuretics may no longer control the terminal secretions but are worth continuing. Morphine may be given to stop her feeling the shortness of breath. Sometimes the sounds of the struggling breathing can be quietened by turning the patient on their side. Many hugs to you and hopes that MIL passes soon and peacefully.Blessings
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I just spent 30 minutes googling Puddles the sad clown. While changing dad's pampers, I saw him sing on CNN. The song Royal sounded soooo familiar. I wanted to hear the original singer and then HIS version of the song ...of course in his version as a sad clown. I got distracted and clicked several of his rendition of other songs.

First, I watched in YouTube the original song "Royal" by Lorde. I love those female voices sing the chorus line. Then, I went to watch Puddles rendition - choosing the YouTube video with two women in black clothing and Puddles the Tall white clown. I like his version best!!! ..... Google: Puddles Pity Party Royal

FYI, since you already have the google opened to him, also click on his rendition of : "That'll be the Day." I laughed on that one.
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Reddog we're here for you.. I hope hospice helps to keep her comfortable. They were a god send for my MIL..
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Thanks, SA. When these old resentments came out from our third party last week, my jaw must have hit the floor! For 2.5 years now sis has been blaming me for her complete and utter lack of interest in mom. I always suspected something in this counselor sister of mine kept her out of the picture, but to finally hear it is solely her dysfunctional mind was such a surprise!
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Oops, I should proof read before I hit send! Well, I guess that was worth repeating.
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Reddog and Book, I'm really sorry for both of you guys, and your charges.

This was a very sad time for me personally. It's never easy having to watch someone start to die, or to decline and suffer for it.. It's... heavy. I hope you guys take the time to get some rest when you can. And yeah, Hospice is great. It helps knowing you're not having to face such a difficult time alone.

And never take anything for granted. I don't know how many times I thought to myself, 'She's not going to survive this, there's no way....' but she did. The elderly can, and do, bounce back from so many really critical health issues that come up. When I think about it, it's pretty amazing...

Glad, grudges don't hurt the deceased. I hope your sister doesn't allow another 40 years to go by feeling the weight of them...

Hope everyone has a great day.

Glad, grudges don't hurt the deceased.
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Last year in June, when father ended up in the hospital because his left lung was almost filled with fluid, he left the hospital refusing any more xrays to find where the fluid was coming from. He is now coughing that heavy cough and spitting out phlegm. Here we go again.... I'm already warning my siblings here that we need to prepare for another bout of pneumonia. He won't go to the clinic unless he's forced to - like the last time....when he can no longer breathe because it's too painful.

He's forgetting my name. I'm "girl". Most of the time, he calls oldest sis name. He's forgetting that he just ate and wants to eat again. I tried distraction, I tried giving him his other favorites but... he wanted his nutrient drink. Those drinks are so expensive. 1 case (24 count) cost $66.00. And he's gaining weight. We're struggling now with his turning but... soon , sis will have to be helping me with him. Have to go. Time to feed him.
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Red, we're here for you. If you feel the need to update us on MIL's condition, we will be with you every step of the way. When we were struggling to get mom hospice service, I turned to here for encouragement or to express my thoughts (that I would never do with my siblings.) You, MIL and your hubby will be in my thoughts. {{Hugs}}
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Prayers for you Red and your family.... this is the hard part... and no, we are never really prepared to say goodbye.... you are in my heart..... and give your hubby a big hug from all of us...
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Reddog... my heart goes out to you. Having gone through this just a few months ago, I can wholeheartedly agree with you that knowing what is coming doesn't make it any easier. Hospice can be a Godsend!

Book... sure sounds like boils to me. I've missed you greatly my friend. It sounds as if your father isn't fighting you as much as he was before. For that I am thankful. You are a good daughter.

Have a GREAT evening!
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Reddog, I am thinking of you. What a hard time for you, dreading my turn, I just hope one sister that wants nothing to do with my mom will find a way to heal the deep seated resentments of 40 years ago and be able to forgive, love and be there for our mom.
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Butterflykisses...her breathing has already changed...even though she's on oxygen 24/7 she sounds like she's gasping for air but says she doesn't feel short of breath...and her oxygen level will be sometimes 96 other times will test in the mid 80's she's been exhibiting signs for a while now. I held my mother and brother and a couple of friends and an aunt as they drew their last breath so I know what's coming and can't say that knowing makes it any easier. Once that rattle sets in and all you can do is wait it out it's a pretty helpless feeling. With all I've witnessed I'm not sure how my husband has managed to not be there...he was in Viet Nam but that is different than a family member. Tonight she was able to swallow her pills fine but only wanted 3 bites of a pot pie (used to be her favorite) and half of an Ensure no ice cream. I know what's coming...just don't want it.
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Red: I'm so glad you've contacted Hospice. They will help you with meds, will come when you call or at best they will return your call if you don't get a nurse right away. Caution on the meds in capsule form - some of them are not to be taken apart and sprinkled - check with the pharmacist before you do anything and also the crushed ones too. Water is the best for the syringe, as juices or milk can interact with some meds and they become toxic or ineffective, depending on what you're diluting with - not always, but be sure about that.
The swallowing and refusing ice cream are signs of the beginning of the shut down. Her breathing will also change; I will be praying for you all, as I've gone through this and it can be a long time, or as in our case, a little over 3 months. I encourage you to lean on the Hospice team, as they will help you keep her comfortable to the end. Blessings and ooo's and xxx's.
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Thanks for the hints...spoke with MIL doctor today and he is putting in an order for Hospice care...we've put this off for a long time but want the care team in place so that it won't be a huge change for MIL when it gets to the point that there is no choice. Today she's had an Ensure for breakfast...actually drank the whole thing which is not the norm now...half of one for lunch w 3 small shrimp...half of one with dinner and 3 bites of a pot pie has been refusing her ice cream which is almost unheard of...she's getting weaker by the day...now takes both of us to get her transferred from bed to wheelchair...she's afraid to sit in her recliner because we had so much trouble getting her out of it. Transferring her wears her out for several hours. She keeps saying it feels like there is something in her throat because she keeps getting choked which is the Parkinson's...anyway Hospice is supposed to evaluate her by the beginning of next week...she can't tell if she's in bed or in her chair...thinks there is something wrong with her T.V. every time a commercial comes on...wants me to come fix it. This could go on for quite a while or it could end quickly...we understand that and have tried to mentally prepare ourlselves
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Red before you grind up pills check with the pharmacist to see if any of them are long acting. You can also pull the capsules apart and sprinkle the contents. Mix everything with a small amount of something tasty then follow with a treat. Some meds are very bitter so best not to mix with a whole pudding. Down the road if worse comes to worse mix with some liquid and use a syring without a needle and squirt slowly into her mouth. a 5 or 10 ml syringe shoud do.
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Book it does sound as though your dad has boils and applying a very hot washcloth several times a day will help bring it to a head. he may need an antibiotic too so check with his Dr
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She loves ice cream so that may be the answer if she'll swallow it without sucking on it till it dissolves in her mouth...thanks...
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Reddog, yeah, what BK said. Putting pills into some pudding or yogurt was a go with my mom. She didn't even realize she was taking them, I got a job done with minimal hassles and she got to enjoy a healthy snack. I like the 'ice cream chaser' idea, too. Whatever works!
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Red: have you tried putting the capsule in her favorite pudding or cottage cheese, yogurt, ice cream? It might work depending on how her swallowing is in general. Don't open the capsule tho'. Maybe she could get along without that particular med? Getting our loved one to take meds when the swallowing is difficult can be so challenging. I used a pill crusher with a little water, a plastic medicine syringe, then gave my husband ice cream for a "chaser" as my daughter put it. It worked because he never refused ice cream, bless his soul. You'll get really creative; bless you for taking such good care of her. xxxooo
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Book...my MIL insists on wearing pajama bottoms...a nurse friend of mine told me to split the back of them so I can pull them up and down to cover her legs without having to get them under her backside. She hates them because they are not regular ones but I told her it's to save my back or she won't get to wear them at all... I split the from the back waist band to the crotch...the kind with some stretch and give to the fabric are better and they don't fray like regular woven fabric. they can also wear them sitting in a wheelchair (just put a blanket in the chair to cover the backside)..don't know if will help with your dad or not...good luck
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