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Jam....i jst love u, n i wish we lived closer,bcuz Lily is a professional fly catcher.She jst snaps them out of existence in mid-flight!!! All i say is..."Lily, get the fly"....n she takes care of business...no need for a fly swatter in this house...Hugs, my friend
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Congratulations beck......I think you should also opt for the diamond....) Sounds like you're going to have a very wonderful weekend. Tilapia is one of my favorites....mahi mahi is also good. I found a frozen tilapia at Walmart that is parmesan encrusted and when I'm too lazy to make homemade, that cooks up so well in the oven or better in the deep fryer.....and is yummy.
Welcome to our new posters......ibelieve.....I wish you luck with trying to get more help from your sister, but as you have learned that isn't an easy thing to do. Yes, it's selfish and wouldn't it be nice to be able to take a vacation yourself without having to take Mom or worry about her? Is that possible? Plan a vacation to Fla and drop Mom off at sis's house, then go enjoy yourself! Do you have other family members who might pitch in and give you a break? In the meantime, are there activities at a senior center or other elderly day care in your area that Mom could go to a few days a week to give you a break? Come back and visit and fill us in a little more and others here will come up with some ideas to help you.
RlZsmith.......18 years is a long time to be care giving and you deserve a medal for that! It's heartbreaking to see our loved one reach that stage in their life cycle of not knowing where they are or who their family is. I've often wondered when both the short and long term memory goes, if that also causes the fear and doubts of those losses to go........the brain with dementia is fascinating to me. You have my heartfelt sympathy for undergoing the hyperactivity with your mother....is she on medication? If not, I would say it's time....if she is, then perhaps it needs to be tweaked. Is there anyone else who can stay with her sometimes to give you a break? There is nothing wrong with wanting a life of your own.....after all isn't that what was supposed to happen when we left home? I often told my husband, when his mother was acting like a wild woman, that I don't remember saying "I do" to her!!!! Is placing Mom in a facility completely out of the question? If not, it may be time to do that as she may require more and more assistance. If it is, then what about hiring someone to come in and give you a break? Sometimes just getting away from the behavior for a short while will rejuvenate us for another round. So often we feel guilty because when we have to make other arrangements, we feel like we have failed our loved one. On the contrary.....we are only proving just how much we love them for wanting the best possible care that we can give them.

Still on the hunt for flies today.....the dogs and I have been in and out several times....but I'm making sure they're all inside today!!!!

Love and Hugz to all of you today!
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Morning, ladies.....jst a quick drive by for now.....Been busy cooking for the parentals n keeping them from killing each other. God....they r a handful.....I made dinner for them last nite....tilapia, a very mild white fish....NO bones......I made 8 fillets.......Dad ate 7!!!!! So....guess that home cooking is a definite must.....He wants me to make more for him today, so thats my plan...Looking forward to the weekend. Bill n I r celebrating 30 yrs of wedded bliss..lol...We're going to spend the day in Old town Sacramento, n check out all the little shops. They even have a shop that makes gourmet pet food.....so.....instead of a diamond, i'm getting a gourmet dog bone for Lily.....Have a good day, all....ttyl....hugs
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We had a couple of tough days. My mom has dementia and has almost no short or long term memory. She gets hyper for a few days, doesn't sleep much, walks back and forth around the house, wants to go home (she's lived with me for 18 years- last 6-7 years have gotten harder and harder), asks for her mother.... After a few days of being hyper, she's exhausted and I get a breather... But it's the constant emotional drain and not being able to leave her alone at all that is so hard. She doesn't know I'm her daughter most of the time. Her brain has mixed up so many memories/facts- one day I'm her friend, sometimes her daughter, sometimes her mother... I want a life of my own and feel guilty for thinking that way...
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I somehow got the job of care giving for my mom when my father passed away in 1991. I'm thankful for being able to help but lately I'm exhausted. I also have undergone changesmyself. I went through a divorce thus having a lot more responsibility with owning my own house, yard work, and makIng ends meet. My mother calls me about 5 times a day with new demands. I would like for my sister to take her home with her to Fl, and let her stay for the winter but her reply is "Oh, I don't think mom and I would do very well together", as she continues to plan vacations for her and her husband.I think it's very selfish of her to just look the other way and not step up to help. Help.....how can I get more help from family members?
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Ladee, I think you're right. It's only 915pm and I'm already getting dizziness. Really tired and hard to think. I will close now and go do caregiving duties. Sleep early tonight. Later, all!
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I am picturing this little old lady with white hair wearing her birthday hat, eyes big and smiling from ear to ear! Glad to hear she and everyone else had a great time.
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Book, just say what you want to say.... you know I'll be ok with it.... hugs to you today... try to get some rest, think of you often and pray for you....
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Jam, that was funny. I was actually laughing because I've done that too!

Ladee, glad that you and all CG and M enjoyed her celebration. .....I keep adding more words about M and then I keep erasing it.....Sorry, Ladee, I will leave this "as is" sigh....I'm just glad that she really enjoyed it.
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Notlike, I was meaning to comment on your earlier post from 33hrs ago about you bumping the patients when wheeling them. When I was at Pre-Op on my very first major stomach surgery about 5 yrs ago, I watched a hospital employee (let's call him 'Intern' for short) open the door, push the empty bed and bumped the door's jamb. Pushed and it hit the door. Pushed and it hit the table where the TV was situated. Well, my surgery came and went. I woke up in the recovery with the nurse calling my name to wake me up.....I woke up, mumbled, then went back to sleep. She kept calling me until I finally stayed awake. As I looked at her, she was instructing THAT SAME INTERN on where to transfer me. I reached out and grabbed his hand. I startled both of them because they jumped. ;)

Anyway, I remember HIM! So, I said to him, "Drive carefully. My back is killing me." Then I let go and closed my eyes. So, now he's wheeling me on the bed. Every bump (like the doorway) he would stop and warn me so that I can prepare for the pain. Then, at the elevator, he warned me that we will be going inside the elevator and there will be a slight jerking motion. I opened my eyes, and everyone was just staring at me. Soooo embarrassed, I closed it quickly and absolutely refused to open it after that. We get to the room. He says that he needs to transfer me from that bed to the real bed. I opened my eyes, looked at the 2 beds side-by-side, and asked him if he wanted me to Scoot over. He looked at me with aghast (horror?) and said, "No! No! No! Let me go find someone to help me lift you to the other bed." Okay, no problem.......Anyway, I tell my brother what happened. He started laughing and was Wondering Why the Intern was soooo gentle with me.

I thought you would like that story. So, Notlike, nothing against you, but talking from the patient's point-of-view: Thank Goodness You're NOT pushing any patients!! :)
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No Sharyn, she was at Bible Study....far be if for me to judge that, so I'll just leave that alone.... but sure hope there's some cake left this morning....just sayin...
But it was so good to see M having a good time... she said she didn't want to go to the table, so I said, ok, then we're bringing the party to you.... so we put up card tables and chairs in the living room! You could tell how much she enjoyed that and we were all laughing and talking... I know she couldn't really hear us, she is very hard of hearing...but she had a smile on her face....and she ate all her dinner AND a peice of cake.....so if it was the last one for her, then it was something she was happy about....
It has been a long time since I was in a social situation that others were drinking and 'insisting' that I have a beer with my meal... oh, no thanks, my tea is fine... didn't think it was appropriate that then was the time I announced anything about my recovery....it was more awkward for them than me... I'm used to it... but we all had a great time... and M got to forget about things , just for a little space in time....
So, prayers please for M as she approaches this next stage of her life, that she finds peace with her choices and knows S will be taken care of...knows she is loved, and in the end, isn't that all that really matters....

Love ya'll, thought about ya'll and different things that happened , and was sharing in my head with ya'll.... I am never alone, no matter where I am, ya'll are always with me..... thanks for being here for me, for providing a safe place for me to land at any time I need ya'll.... lots of hugs, angels, but sorry, keeping the chocolate for myself this time.... !!!
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It sounds like Thang knows her place after all. Glad all went all Ladee!!
I can relate to trying to kill flies on the outside of the window...how funny is that!! I can see myself swatting the window only to discover the fly is outside.
A broken toe is painful. I broke the toe next to the big toe on my daughters wedding day, LOL!! By the end of the day it was bright purple and swollen. I taped it to the next toe down the line. Take care everyone!!
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Take care of yourself, Wanda and stay in touch. We miss you. Hope everyone is feeling better. Love, Cat
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Cat, Thanks. Broken toes are no fun. This is my big toe the break and laceration are at the base of the toenail. Bone infection lots of fun. I was stuck in post op. boot and wheelchair. While son was in ICU. The hospital is so large that I could not walk the distance because of arthritis in hips. Then also had to find people to stay with hubby. My son is not married so had to take care of things for him. Work and medical stuff for him. Medical stuff for myself and hubby. LOL!!!
Man I need another weekend at the lake. Hugs Wanda
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Burnwajaco: Good to hear from you. Sounds like you have had a very tough couple of months. Hope your son is better and same for you. I've had a couple broken toes before, little fall on the stairs, and there's nothing to be done but heal. Sending you love and white light, Cattails.
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Okay, I have to tell on myself tonight.....see you guys aren't the only ones to do silly things....:) My son came today to help me do some things around the house and outside.....it's nice when he is here without his wife because he is more talkative and she isn't whining about everything....so with going in out and all day and letting the dogs in and out, some flies decided they wanted to move in. So I'm armed with the fly swatter and doing a fine job of eliminating the fly population...Target is on the computer and son and he are talking about something and I see a fly that is about to meet his Maker on the window....so I hit him, he flies away, I hit him again, and dammit why isn't the little sucker dying? I finally stop and realize.....the fly is on the OUTSIDE of the window.....so I've been whacking away wondering why this Super Fly won't die......and before I know it my son, who is laughing his ass off, has his cell phone whipped out and all of FB now knows I'm trying to kill flies that are outside! As I told him...pay backs are hell!

Hope everyone has a good night filled with peaceful dreams......sending hugs!
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Austin, you want to be like me when you grow up... are you sure about that, and all this time I thought you were making progress... lol... but seriously, thank you for the compliment.... that makes me feel good coming from you... thanks again...

Well everyone, we had a great time tonight at M's.... THANG didn't come, boo f**king hoo, we ate some great home maked enchaladas, salad , chocolate cake... and laughed and had a good time... we even sang happy birthday to M... she was laughing and having a good time....
earlier in the day she started this new cycle she is on... feeling weak, then getting cold, she is warm to the touch, throwing up, and a fever... two tylenol and withing an hour she is feeling better.... this is the second time in 6 days, she usually does this after a transfusion.... when I told her happy bday this morning, she said, ' I know this is the last one'... and she seemed releived... so to make long story short , we talked about end of life choices, alot of reassureance that S would be taken care of.... so I feel like she felt better after sharing it....
I have been up since :4:30 this morning, wiped out, ttyl... love and hugs...
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Well, Dad has agreed to take an antidepressant so I emailed the doc tonight asking for the prescription. Dad had two episodes today where he didn't make it the 15 feet to the bathroom in time. He has lost 7 lbs in the last two weeks, on top of what he's lost since July.
He and Mom went with their church group on a tour of a stained glass factory today. He forgot his cane, and it was all standing and walking. When he got too tired and wanted to leave, she yelled at him for embarrassing her by wanting to leave the group early. And he didn't want me to email the doctor tonight because they have no money until the next SS check and he can't afford a new prescription. If I pay for it, which I offered to do until he has money, then Mom gives him a hard time. But she is going to buy stuff for her sewing tomorrow, and bought bakery yesterday. I don't know which is worse - being mad at her for how she treats him or watching him decline.
Not sure how I would pay for his med anyway. I'm broke. I'm glad they're eating better because they eat with us for dinner, but there's been no offer of paying for groceries. Feeding two more people for dinner every night is expensive. They make as much in SS as I do working every month. They pay no rent and very little utilities. I've been buying cigs by the pack this week because I don't have enough for a carton.
This is ruining my sunny disposition LOL
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Lildeb, My son is Type 1 Diabetic. He was on a trip and on his way home when he got a virus. He turned DKA pretty fast. He made it to Jackson, Ga. where we picked him up. We rushed him to hospital. He is Ok now though still a little weak.
I fell in the bathroom. Landed wrong I guess. We have slate tiles in bathroom. The rug slipped and so did I. I was able to wear shoes today for the first time in 1 1/2 months. Hubby is ok considering everything.
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Bookworm, well said about how several people will offer advice then & there... Because some of us are jumping around on this site with different needs with different situations n only so many can catch it on this site for we ALL are only HUMAN. It is nice to hear advice back sometimes from others for you never know what may had worked for you & your situation may or may not work for one of us. At least we get a chance to try for those that do share their experience good or bad. It all a learning phase to me when it comes to Alzheimers.
Book, I am so glad to hear your voice on here for I was worried about you for a little while n it so nice to see you posting n helping as well. You go girl!! You may procrastinate or as Ladee mentin, 'you perservere, you rest, think about things, feel your feelings, then you pick up and go again." Either way you do bounce right back n join the crowd.
Jam, mnl here at least likes to shop but for anything else is very hard to get her interested. It's either I don't feel like it, I am too old, you don't know how I feel, bla.bla. Hey, at least I can get her out sometimes even though I get the go-to-hell look sometimes. My mnl can watch local weather on the 8 all freaking day n that is why she has her a tv in her room.
Wanda, welcome back n it does seem like you have a lot going on with the WHOLE family. wow! Were they able to do something for a broken toe n how in world did you break it in order to get it infected? Hopefully, when hubby gets his 2 stents he will be able to breathe a lot easier. Why was your son in the ICU of course if that is too personal don't answer. I hope he is alright? I know you have been extremely busy running around keeping up with everyone n including yourself. I hope you n your toe get to feeling better real soon.
Anyone that I may have missed, it is not intentionally for this AC has grown a lot since I have been here.
This month makes a whole year the mnl has been living with us, woo-hoo! Were still going strong. She has an appointment with butt dr tomorrow n for some reason when I mention it to her, she would say, "I don't have that problem anymore." Well, why would she tell me 3x's plus on way to respite care that she wished she had put some of the ointment on her rear? I told her we are going no matter what for dr needs to check in case she needs antibiotics. I had bought her small tube of prep-H. I did take a peek back at her rear but I saw no no hemorrhoids so she may have them inside or something else. Speaking of those hemorrhoids, I have been told by two different dr's about getting surgery done when I get ready. How in world do you get ready for something like that? It sounds painful just thinking about it. I am using a prescription cream but because of my anti-reject meds, my bowel r little loose so i am not sure if the operation would help. Besides, I heard they could come back n if that happens then that would be a royal pain in the ass! couldn't help myself. Everyone have a great day.
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Hello everyone, Sorry I haven't been around lately. Things have been really crazy here. I broke my toe and cut it to the bone .I got stitches, took antibiotics but it still got infected. Hubby has been having lots of doctor appointments. Son just got out of hospital. Was in ICU for a full week. Now hubby gets a Heart Cath. on the 10th of Oct. 2 steints for sure and maybe other stuff going on with heart. We really don't know for sure yet. Hubby really does not understand fully. What gets me is the people at V.A. keep calling him and telling me things that just gets him upset because he can't remember what is going on. LOL Like I said it is crazy around here. Hugs Wanda
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Ladee....encheeeelada's. Mmmm. Hope they're good. You'll have to keep your back turned to Thang so you can enjoy them.
Lisa ....I wish you were local... I could get into having some shellfish for dinner. You and Ladee get to have all the fun. I had to laugh when I read that the seafood truck was coming into the neighborhood as you were going out. I'm scraping up leftovers for lunch. So sad.
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Thank you June for your compliment, it truly means a lot to me....and thank you for sharing your friend. It makes a friendship so much more meaningful when there is the kind of closeness that you have with yours. I had a friend like that when we were both around 13, but after high school I moved to CA and we lost track of each other. She found me about 5 years ago, but I find that it's been hard to try and pick up where we left off. So many different things have happened in our lives. But I stay in contact as best as I can.
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Ladee and Jam you both are amazing womwn and of course many others also -but you two come to mind when I think who I want to be when i grow up. My friend Ursula is CEO of my favorite people she is in her ealy 30's and went back to college in her 40's and her husband was like mine womem belonged in the work force and in the kitchen not doing folish things like getting an education-she became a special ed. teacher for 25 years and has mentored countless women-not getting or asking for any recogniziton doing it one women at a time. When it was time to leave her daughter's home and go into AL she did it graciously and within days had 100's of new friends while staying in touch with her former friends-I have learned so much from her in the few years I have known her -her daughter calls us partners in crime-I can not imagine why she say that. LOL-we do tend to make things interesting. She is close enough for me to visit often and I keep her informed of all the drama at our senior center. I just wanted you to know my special friend.
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Morning all............yes, ladee I DO whine when things get complicated.....I figure at this point in my life why can't things just be simple? But NOOOOOOOO, it's always something, but there was a huge breakthrough here yesterday.....TARGET WALKED TO THE MAILBOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When he told me that was what he was doing, well you could have knocked me over with a feather! There's hope for him yet, or maybe me. I'm going out of town for 4 days the middle of Oct so he'd better be learning how to fend for himself now or he will be lost. Actually the food is not the problem, it's the walking over to the counter and laying a plate, etc on top instead of opening the dishwasher and placing them there.....too difficult I guess.
Pondscum.........welcome and you must be my twin!!!! I spent 25 yrs as a medic and retired with a medical disability. Because of that I could no longer care for my mil so we had to place her in a NH. She never had hobbies either, unless you count shopping as a hobby. Anything I suggested was out, she wouldn't even read a book or a magazine. All she wanted to do was go "shoppy-shoppy"...I detest malls and won't go myself, but every week we took her to Walmart and every month I would go through her fridge throwing out moldy food that she just had to have and then wouldn't eat. And then there was the fight because she liked to collect full bottles of gin and see how fast she could empty them! So I gave up trying to figure out something....she would sit and watch CNN all day.

Sending love and hugs to all of you today!!!!!!!
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Book, I think my point was, that you perservere, you rest, think about things, feel your feelings, then you pick up and go again.... that is what I am hoping Burned learns from you... yes it's hard, yes, it hurts, yes it's scairy and paralyzing at time , but...... you may take a break, but you do not stop.... and it doesnt' matter how long it takes for change, as long as you feel satisified you are still on the journey.... and when you are feeling defeated and not at your best, you come here and share, you allow us to care about you... and on some level you trust a bunch of people you've never met... you do see that maybe, just maybe, we know what we are talking about, you do recognize that we have some experiance in pain, in change, and in healing.... so, Yes, Burned has a lot to learn from you... about the journey, not the specifics of being a mom or wife... but of trying to do some things different so as to have a more joyful life..... and I feel that anyone that knows you from the begining of your posts, has seen an awesome, strong woman, put one foot in front of the other, especially when you didn't want to, or felt you had the energy to,,,, as I've told you before, I'm not blowing smoke here, I don't tell people what they want to hear just to make them feel better.... I, and many others here truly admire and respect you and the journey you are on.... you are always on my 'gratitude list'.... love and hugs... and at least you were only 'squirming' with the praise, and not flat out denying it... so more progress..... keep on keepin' on....
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Ladee, I appreciate your praises (squirming with that word) of my progression. But I think you have the wrong idea of my personality. I am a PROCRASTINATOR. When I found this site, I was jumping all over for about an hour before I found Lisa’s thread. Although it didn’t apply to me, I was fascinated. I have always meant to go from dial-up connection to wireless but never got around to it. You see how long Lisa’s thread was? Every time I hit ENTER, my laptop took 5 seconds to go to the next page, then it said it couldn’t find it. So, I hit backspace, hit ENTER – another 5 seconds. Between that, my laptop kept disconnecting so I had to re-connect, find the last page on Lisa’s thread…So Frustrating! So, I went and got a wireless connection.

Then, as I was reading Lisa’s thread, I saw how her and Doug took action whenever someone would give an advice. So, as I’m reading her thread, this is what I’m comprehending. So, when it was my turn to ask for help, and I really really was resisting the advices, I still did it. Because I saw Lisa/Doug doing this and getting results. But, I tell you, I’m still a procrastinator but not when it comes to this site.

So, Burn and all others, I am not a super person. Perhaps if you go to Lisa’s thread, “Two Years this July…” and read from the start, you will see the benefits of applying the advices. Because several people will offer advice then and there, so it’s still fresh in your life and you have the emotional support of the group to DO IT. If you fail, then the group can give you an alternate option – Then and There. Just saying…
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Good grief Liagrant, it sounds like your dad just loves to buy anything he can get his paws on. Hopefully, their won't be a freezer full of frozen seafood. Of course, if u do see a load of seafood u can just invite all of us caregivers over for a seafood festival. Fresh salmon sounds pretty good. mmm-good. ; )
I hope everyone is able to have a peace n restful night.
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Burned, I thought we all have been pretty good in responding to some of your post with either advice or sympathy of your situations. I hope you are able to see that you have friends here n that maybe you were just in one of those black-hole pit moments n that is why you felt the way you do about people here. I hope you can lift yourself up n come join everyone back here on the post n hope on the raft.

Cat, I like to jump on that raft n go camping for I love the great outdoors n Mother Nature stuff. Why do we have to have a destination yet instead we can follow the stars until we fall alseep. zzz I can just feel the cool breeze flowing in my face as we all get a little wet from the water tubing as we flow down the creek under the stars. Of course, I am not good with making a camp fire so someone needs to step in n make one so that we can roasted marshmellows.
Ladee n Rioblu, jump on the float n go for a ride of your life n breathe the fresh air at the camp.
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You ladies just make my day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I am having one of those CRSdays. (can't remember sh--)
Dad decided he would sign up for a new cell phone on his own today. We are already on a plan with ATT.
Seems he got a packet in the mail from AARP and this is the best of the best in plans.
It really is a good plan $$$$$ but i reminded him that we are being held hostage to ATT until Jan 2013. Then we can change over.
For those of you not aware of Consumer Cellular check them out.
I called customer service I explained the situation and they were great. Return no cost to me....................We will be newcustomerscome January....
I passed the Quality Seafood truck entering my subdivision on my why out tonight and dad is home alone. I am sure the freezer will be full when I get back home..........He keeps me on my toes. Have a great evening to all.
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