Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Judy, I'm laughing with you... found out something interesting today... THANG cleans house for the daughters dil, hmmmm , no wonder the daughter isn't really listening to me about THANG... but I did call her this morning and told her that THANG did not do as she was told... no sweeping, no mopping, and no dusting....she said she would handle it, so will wait and see if it is done in the morning, if not, well, then it's on to greener pastures fo me... I WILL NOT be taken advantage of by a twit.... and now that I know THANG is working for another family member, well, that just puts a whole new spin on things doesn't it....sorry ya'll, i am not a vengful person. but I will be laughing when the daughter is taken advantage of by THANG, because it is going to happen.... more later, going to lay my aching body down....
(5)
Report

Ladee, I'm glad M liked the whistle idea, but I wasn't trying to be funny - I'm dead serious about the whistle. If M can't wake Thang up, the whistle will startle the crap out of her. What if she was having an emergency or something and Thang just snored through it? I did get silly when I suggested a few Halloween sound effect things though, but wouldn't it just be hilarious to get one of those evil laugh sounds and set it off in the monitor at 3am for Thang to wake up to? I'm laughing here all by myself.
(2)
Report

Burned - was it a scorpion, you think? It feels like someone plunges one of those bamboo skewers into you, and then, when the pain dies down a bit, the area gets numb, like pins and needles feeling. You'd have numbness today still and maybe tomorrow. And, I think getting away from the house would be good for you, but how can you do that and leave your husband?
(1)
Report

Well we see hubby's primary doc on the 17th and on the 20th go to see his pain specialist and maybe he will be on different pain medication...then there is seeing a neurologist and pulmongist if i spell that right. I am on the other hand just wishing things would slow down but things are meant to happen at a certain speed. I am tired of waking up and doing the same thing over and over again it gets so tedious n repetitive makes one want to take a leap off the tallest building and pray that you have real wings similar to angel on a prayer card. Hubby on the other hand is losing some more of his memory...confusing facts with fiction...I have a question to ask of ya all...should I go and do more caregiver hrs since I am not getting my second job that would help me out of the house more or just stay at home getting paid to work with my husband. I am tired of the financial downwind spiraling but I am doing the best i can at the same time. lol first time ever I got stunged by some bug last night and it hurt like the dickens.
(1)
Report

Love ya Book, hope ya find your tea and hope your dizzy spells end soon.... hugs
(0)
Report

Ladee, I have absolutely no time to make tea in the morning. Plus, I need my Mr Brown Ice Coffee in the mornings. I'm the only one who comes to the caregiver respite monthly meetings with my can of ice coffee and straw. They serve hot coffee but I like mine cold.

When I made the green tea the 1st time, I found out that it tastes good even without sugar or honey. It warmed up my body. And when I woke up in the morning, I had more oomph in me. So, I think it must do something healthy inside while I'm sleeping. I will check the herbal store for a decaffeinated one. Or order it online.

I wonder if Jam is in the flooded part of Las Vegas. Most people there didn't have flood insurance because they rarely get floods. So sorry for them.
(0)
Report

I think I'm going to have to re-do my priority when reviewing the threads at the end of the day. I always save my favorites for last: GROSS, DYSFUNCTION, How are YOU and Lisa's Threads. By the time I get to these, I'm too tired to remember who said what or even comment to others. ...FYI, I've been getting dizzy spells all day today. Maybe need to see doc...Unfortunately, about once a year, I get these really bad dizzy spells for several weeks. In the past, I would be sitting and then slowly feel myself tilting! Doctors can't figure it out... It started in my early 20's...
But I will make an appointment.
(1)
Report

xo Ladee
(1)
Report

Notlike, guess you are the official 'poopscooper', and ya I have a coworker like that, if it weren't for her always talking about how wonderful she is, maybe she could get some work done.... and am very happy to say, had a long talk with daughter last night... I thought to hell with this, she needs to know what is going on.... also talked to her about her OWN burnout... and hopefully she will learn to delegate... or let me do it.... told her the other three would be ok with that, but she would have to talk to THANG... also told her M has had a hard time getting her awake some nights...she was going to 'text' her about turning the volume up on the monitor....she said she wasn't going to call, she didn't feel like listening to "goosey Lucy", yep, that's what she called THANG...!!!!!!
Judy, told M about the whistle in the monitor, she rarely laughs out loud but she did then !!!!!!! Then she totally surprised me and said, 'sounds like you have some great friends'.... I said 'Yes Ma'm the best in the world..... couldn't get up in the morning without knowing they are in my life'... she smiled again.....
Poor Jam, she's in Vegas and heard they are having horrible weather, guess that's a good excuse to hunker down with a good hand of Black Jack.... Or a high pay off slot machine... if she wins big, she'll never tell us, she knows I'd expect her to share....

M making small improvements daily getting her strength back, still not eating very well, but supplimenting with Ensure, S is wanting to sleep all the time... in good health otherwise, so am just keeping an eye on him... his little world has been turned upside down... and ya'll think about it... he is surrounded by women all the time... only time he gets a break from us is when his son is in town... bless his heart, in a good way....

Book, thank goodness for some respite, loved what you said about it not being a nervous breakdown... and I know all of us have been wondering how you have managed to do this as long as you have without help..... so let us know how things go..... love ya.... and sorry your body is paying the consequences for all the stress, we all understand that too... some days my back hurts so bad that when I first get up, I walk bent over the first few steps...
And I know here in the states you can get green tea supplements... and I drink citrus green tea, but it does have a tiny bit of caffeine... not much tho, as I have to watch my caffeine intake.... and it never bothers me... so hope you find something soon....

I know I haven't touched on everyones name... can barely remember my own...

And Candy, we all relate to your post... come back and visit... if nothing else you'll get a laugh now and then....
Need to go to bed.... alot to do tomorrow... how did I do all this before all these others came in to help???? I amaze myself.... ya, uh huh, uh huh..... love ya'll, sending angels to each of you....
(3)
Report

Todays a rough one.... just when you think you might have figured it out..or could find some peace..wham!!!! Here it comes again. God help us all.
(1)
Report

It does sound like a good day, Book. I love Macy's. Have you just tried drinking your tea earlier in the day? I can't drink caffeine at night or I can't sleep either. You should be able to get decaffienated green tea somewhere, you thnk? I can get it here (you want me to send some?). Don't drink Celestial Seasons Sleepy Time Tea - it has chammomile in it. That's a bummer you can't have chammomile. I love it.
(1)
Report

Book-Sounds like a perfect day...support group then shopping "therapy". :) The meal sounds great too - you deserve someone else to make you all a meal once in awhile. If you could get a nap in, so much the better! Ah dreams, right?
(2)
Report

P.S...their lunch is Never Finger Food! It's a full meal with rice, meat, salad, fruits, soda, etc...Then we take home the leftovers...
(1)
Report

I received an email from the caregiver respite program. 'm so glad that the caregiving monthly meeting for this month has changed from next week Saturday (I work) to this coming Saturday (I'm off.) I was torn between spending time with sis/kids vs. caregiver support. I've made up my mind. I need the caregiver support. Sigh... I sent replied text to sis (informing me of Macy's sale this Sat). She said no problem. Whew! The meeting always includes breakfast and lunch. So, I will text sis that we can still shop after lunch. See, kill 2 birds with one stone..
(2)
Report

Nah, can't be nervous breakdown. I don't have time for one. Must be exhaustion...
(4)
Report

Since my meltdown, I haven't been able to get back my regular strength. Stress is bringing back my GERD (acid reflux). Well, I hope it's GERD and not serious chest pains. Since it's a moving pain, upper left close to center was yesterday, today is on the right side....sounds like GERD. Back spasm, etc...Stress....I know I always say I'm exhausted but this is...different. It's only 930pm, I'm sitting here typing, and then everything started spinning. I need to research/Google on nervous breakdown. Never had one but I'm thinking if I'm getting past exhasution, what is the next step? Nervous breakdown? So, maybe I research it tomorrow. Tonight - do parents' pampers/trache, write check payments on stack of bills...

By the way, I read somewhere that Green tea is great for your health and is antioxidant. I tried to find one without caffeine but couldn't find any at the grocery store. So I bought the Stash brand. I've taken it twice - at nights - and I woke up feeling rested. The problem is that ...I am so used to my head touching the pillow - I get knocked out instantly. Now, after taking the tea, I'm tossing and turning and can't sleep. It's the caffeine. So, in the weekend, I go check out the herbal stores for a caffeine free brand. Sure hope I don't have to order it. But any of you have a recommendation on teas that helps you? By the way, I bought chamomile tea for night sleeping -I had an allergic reaction. (Freshly mowed grass can close up my throat and I struggle to breathe. Same applies to a smoker's smoke. Not asthmatic but very very sensitive to pollen/pollutants.) ...
Dizziness. Must be exhaustion. Gotta go. Need change pampers, etc...
(1)
Report

Beck-sounds like a very rough day. Sending you strength for today's adventure.
Seemee-Love those puppies! So cute!
Judy and Sharyn-My Mom doesn't like to have anything serious wrong with her. But she will invent problems just for the sake of causing trouble. Her new one is not letting Dad drive alone. He didn't have a close call or anything, but read an AARP article about elders turing left at stop lights rather than uncontrolled intersections. It's easier for him to do the stop light thing, so now she's decided to go with him everywhere because he must be having trouble driving. Yelling at him to slow down, watch out, and not drive near anything is her idea of helping. They will probably get in an accident from her distracting him! I don't know how he takes it.
Yesterday morning I cleaned up Dad's poop trail from the bathroom to his bedroom. He was still so tired, he didn't realize he was leaking. Then I cleaned up dog poop outside. Went to work and cleaned up all day after the nurse I work with, who is so busy showing off she doesn't finish anything she starts. She is her own kind of Miss Thang. Cleaning up after others seems like my daily To Do. No wonder I don't have time to dust or fold my own laundry.
Dad had another X-ray. No bowel blockage. More fiber, and we meet with dietitian this morning. Doctor and I started talking to him about being depressed. It wil take time for him to admit to it.
Going to try again to make it to the gym after work. Haven't been there in 2 weeks. My ass will fit in nicely with the rest of the day-glo Halloween partiers! Maybe tonight Mom won't be standing in the kitchen when I get home, waiting for me to make her dinner, before I can even put my purse down. Yeah, right.
(2)
Report

LindaMS, all I can say is THANK YOU for putting things in perspective for me !!!! And that sums it up.... nailing jello to a tree... thanks for sharing that, I will go to work today with a different attitude... amazing how our solutions come in the fewest words... thanks again... felt my brain 'unclog' after I laughed out loud....
(1)
Report

Judy...thanku so much for ur kind , encouraging words.....ur right....there r many positives in my situation with dad....i need to change my focus...i love ya
(0)
Report

It is sad, Beck. I don't have much feeling for my dad, but I do feel for him as one person for another, if that makes any sense. I see my dad trying so hard to understand what's going on around him, he's so deaf and easily confused, and I think it must be so frustrating and scary for him. And, the choking - I'm a mental case when it comes to the choking thing. I panic. It terrifies me. So, anyway, I get how heavy hearted you must feel tonight. Today was hard work and a hard reality for you. But, not to sound like Polly Anna, my brother (the disabled one) always says to look for the positives in things, and if you can't find anything positive in it, then know it could've been worse. So, the positives - your dad appreciated being with you, your mom appreciated the break, Dad didn't choke to death at dinner, and you're a sweetheart of a daughter for having your dad out for 6 hours, and you'll be doing the sweetheart daughter routine again tomorrow. And, I have much respect. xxxoo.
(7)
Report

Feeling heavy hearted....Jst got dad home,after spending 6 hrs with him...We had to attend a funeral, then visited his sister, then went out to dinner with family...Mom stayed home, so she could get a, much needed, break..Poor dad...he was really struggling tonite, being around so many people...He was terribly confused n couldnt follow the conversations that were happening around him...then, at dinner, he had a terrible choking episode , n it scared me to death...We got thru the day, but, it was, definately, too many hours away...I'll never do that again...It was very stressful n i jst feel very sad for him....Anyway....we're at it again 2moro, with dr appts. I'm jst glad this day is over....love u all
(2)
Report

Cara, 43 yrs is a lot of investment. You seem very overwhemled with the caregiving n it seems you get no help with your husband too. Been their n done that with my hubby n his mom with AD. Of course, your situation is a bit further into the AD stage where my mnl is only in moderate stage. I have step on n touch n cleaned small poo but not litterly a pile, you poor thing. You are a very strong woman n don't let anyone tell you different.
Maybe you need to take a mini-vacation on your own n leave hubby with the mess n then maybe he will realize what all you do day-in n day-out. That is what I done a couple of times and if you do decide to take a mini don't stock the house nor frig with food. Let him experinece how tough it can be on some days. then maybe he will start helping or get someonw to come out to help you,.
As for your marriage, you are the only one that knows if it just the stress from caregiving or the marriage or both. However, I do wish you at least wait n make a decision when you are not so stressed out. Please keep us posted.
(2)
Report

Well, I will sum it up this way... "dealing with some people is like trying to nail jello to a tree". nuff said.
(6)
Report

THANG update,,, she has to mop on Wednesdays and dust I am a happy happy camper.... no wonder she barely spoke to me this morning.... what ever it takes to get her to simply tell me how the night went for M and S... and we have a notebook we make notes in for all shifts to read so everyone knows what is going on...
Had a good talk with the daughter tonight... started it by saying it was not my responsibilty to keep the lid on all this mess... by the way, she even calls THANG, 'Goosy Lucy".... told her some of what has been going on... she needed to know... I get it that the lady is stressed out of her mind... and she admitted she does't make a very good boss.... so I told her to delegate... again, I'm not very good at that, alrighty then... LET ME DO IT..... and to especilally let THANG know not to challenge everything.... the others will do what is neccessary, no stupid power plays between the rest of us.... so we'll see what happens next....
I ALREADY wish it was Friday....

Judy, it amazes me your mom is not in pain... but I understand because M is ADDICTED to being in pain.... we can't tell half the time what is real and what is drama as you said.... so we just give her as much positive attention as we can , not let her take something if it's not time yet, we dispense the meds.... but she is very much in her right mind.....and with the blood disease she has, we really don't know how much pain she may be in... just a crap shoot at any given time....

And you better know I am going to tell M tomorrow about the whistle idea, she will love it..... but I think it should be a recording that says, " you don't know sh*t", I know she'd hit the floor then... did tell the daughter that M has had a few occasions of not being able to wake her up.....that was going to be addressed as soon as we got off the phone......
Since she likes to keep making comments about my AGE, I will show what an old lady that is light years wiser than her can do....

Seeme, I loved the pics of my niece and nephew.... they take up that whole bed... do they get to sleep in my room upstairs, and I'll have to sleep in the kitchen in the kennel???

I HAVE got to go to bed..... love ya'll
(3)
Report

Ladee, my mother had some bad pain in her leg last week. Honestly, I can never tell if its really bad or she's saying its really bad for dramatics. The emergency room couldn't find anything wrong with her leg last week, so they said it was probably muscle spasms. So, I guess the pain precedes the bumps, from what the doctor said today, so that leg pain drama was probably the shingles thing starting up. He knew exactly what it was. Mom's bumps don't hurt her unless she presses them. She's got one on the bottom of her foot that hurts when she walks, but we still went to 3 stores after the urgent care, so it can't hurt that badly. I've heard that shingles are intensely painful, so I was really confused by this. I think you should get M a whistle - a big, loud, coach's sort of whistle so she can blow it at night, close to the monitor, to wake Thang up - scare the shit out of her. Actually, it'd be really funny to get a different sort of noise maker for each night. There are probably some Halloween things that scream and moan and do that evil mooohahahaha laugh. Take that, Thang, you lazy ass!
Sharyn - my mother is the same way - she's disappointed to be healthy. She tells me all of the time how "the end" is near for her. I commented here or another thread a while back how a few xmas's ago, she held her glass up at xmas eve dinner and thanked everyone for coming to her "last xmas". We rolled our eyes and carried on. She was so involved in her own hollywood drama moment that she never even noticed that we never skipped a beat. We turned, listened and went back to talking to each other. Ugh. Her mother was the same way. I told my daughter to hand me a loaded gun if I ever get like that.
(3)
Report

Damn, Ladee....wish Thang didn't have it so easy. She probably convinced Daughter that she had too much to do overnight.....those kinds of people can make the littlest things take forever.
(3)
Report

Judy, mom isn't in pain???? I had shingles a few years back, ran from the inside corner of my left eybrow up about three inches into my hair and across my forehead... I thought i was going to die it hurt so bad... have blinding pain to this day along that nerve when my stress level is thru the roof... and she's happy??? What a sick puppy.... and your mom too Sharyn......

Well, I would love to report that THANG had to mop, but for some reason, the daughter had the 6 to 10 shift do it... why the hell did she ask me if she was going to do what she wanted.... P (6 to 10) told me daughter was on a rampage when she came in last night...I had called her from my Son's Dr's office to tell her I didn't have time to get M's chair moved in the living room.... and I could tell she was pissed... the original order was for the weekend shift to move the f*cking chair.... so I don't know what is going on.... but am telling ya'll now.... I am too tired, too old and just getting to where I don't give a big happy damn.... Texted her to call me, I'll see what's going on... I know she is a typical caregiver herself. pissed most of the time that the brother never helps out... ya'll know that drill..... But P was upset because M ended up crying, apparently the daughter was screaming at her that she could go to a damned Nursing Home if all she wanted to do was set.....must have gotten pretty ugly for M to cry... but told P we stay out of the family dynamics.... just take care of M and S...She did open up about how THANG is stressing HER... she doesn't know all the other crap, because I do not talk to my coworkers about THANG.... that's what I have ya'll for....

So, hope I don't go to bed before she decides to call back.... ya'll know how sometimes you can walk into someplace or meet someone and you just get this 'feellig', like evil or rotteness... that's the feelig of M's since THANG has come to work there , OH WAIT, I meant come to SLEEP there..... M' has told a few of us she can't her wake sometimes unless she hollers 5 or 6 times... we have a monitor.... it sets right by the where THANG sleeps....but apparently she is not telling the daughter... Lord, I am smooth tired of the mess, this job is hard enough without all this crap.....
Thanks for letting me vent.... nothing changes until something changes.... hmmm, I may have to get myself geared up for a great new adventure.....love ya'll
(5)
Report

Judy~Sounds like my mother exactly and when she gets a good bill of health from the dr. she is clearly disappointed and doesn't believe it, Lol!!
(4)
Report

Back from the asylum. Mom's leg looked worse today, so I took her to urgent care. I thought for sure she had some kind of bites that she's been messing with. She has about 10 bumps on her calf. Nope. Doctor said its shingles. I can't even begin to explain how happy my mother is with this. She says she's just happy to know what the problem is. HA! She just loves the she's got a real problem. That woman enjoys poor health. She smiled more today than she has this past month.
(4)
Report

Thank you, thank you....*bowing*. I know they are beautiful (as if I gave birth to them!) They are both big enough to get paws and head on the kitchen counters, which they do if I don't catch them first. At least the island is big enough to push all the crap to the center and it is safe. Dyna could probably get to 90 lbs. Harley maybe 80 lbs. They will be 16 weeks old tomorrow. Adults are about 2 yrs. Next week they get the last shots and I will give you a weight update. No puppy teeth are missing yet!
(1)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter