This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
They r beautiful...thanx for the update pic....
Seeme - Thanks for the picture - puppies look HUGE. How big do those dogs get?
Been finding excuses to avoid leaving for my mother's house this morning, but it really is time to go fire up the truck now and drive slowly to the asylum. Ugh.
Beck- Lord, don't put your face on a milk carton cause your family might FIND YOU!!!! Stay in Hiding!!!!! LOL.
Judy- Thanks we had a good time in hiding. Love ya'll girls. Hugs stormyy.
TAKE CARE OF THEM BUTT'S YA'LL!!!!! LOL
Love you all, Cat
Beck - Cat must be crazy. We don't need to be fit for a pumpkin assing. I think the more dimples on the ass we have, just means more reflective surfaces for the glow in the dark paint, thus making the mission even more successful. I'll probably blind Cat's sister with the wide beacon of light glaring off my ass end. And, Book can't be our getaway driver if she can't see at night, so, Book, you're signed on for mooning. You can do this.
Mom is driving me INSANE today. The health issues that she can dream up. Last week, one patch of her scalp hurt, intensely, so she says, and she wouldn't shut up about it. Today, she's got bites on her leg that, in her mind, aren't bites. She thinks they must be a manifestation of a knee pain that she's had. Off to an urgent care this afternoon so that they can tell mom that she's got mosquito bites and not a spreading, terminal cancer. I'm turning into Nurse Ratchet, but I suppose that's better than Lizzie Borden.
Stormy....GOOD for u!! I love the idea of the witness protection program.......Personally....i would like to b on a milk carton right about now!
Judy.....How old r we????? From the dimples on my ass....definately, over 50....my behavior.......about 13!!!!!.........I mean, seriously.......Wat "ADULT" puts a weave on a poor, helpless, animal????? I am, without a doubt, A MESS......
Ladee.......LYL....Whip a twit 2day....jst for sh*t n giggles!!!!
Well, connor and i were in the witness protection program yesterday in other words we were in hiding. I had my cell phone off and my house phone unplugged. So if anybody tried getting up with me yesterday they were going to have to come to my house. Told sis that connor had another birthday party to go to yesterday which he did but we didnt' go to it just stayed at home, went swimming, colored some pictures, played some games, watched tv, and finished his homework. I suppose i will find out today if sis or anybody else tried getting a hold of me. OH WELL........ Ya'll have fun today. Love and hugs stormyy
We've got to get into training. No partying. Beck you too. Give me 20 both of you. No whining or being pitiful and overwhelmed. I'm giving me 20 right now.
Bookworm: You can give us 20 too and join us. Bring some of your scary dolls. We'll give my sis something to remember.
Love you guys, Cat.
How old are we? Not old enough, obviously. Thank God, cause I love you guys and how you make me laugh. Check your ass tonight, Judy. You too Beck. If it isn't glowing in the dark, then we need to do some gloss if we are going to haunt windows.
Freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love you, Cat.
I'm heading to bed before I get really silly. I'm sitting here laughing all by myself about baring our asses to your sister. How old are we? Not too old to be ridiculous, and it feels good! Goodnight!
Judy.....u make me laugh......thanku....hugs
Judy, your rambling emails are my narvana. Thanks for hanging in there with me during such a difficult time. I will email you my sisters address. I will even go with you, but I will have to wear a mask, not on my ass on my face. We can give her two blue moons on the same night. Bwhahahahaha. Take that sista.
Love you, Cat
I'm having a very hard time. Over the last week my two brothers have been to visit my dad. Of course, my sister is no where to be found. She will not be coming. This had brought up a lot of bad memories from when my mom died in 2008 and my sis didn't come then either.
Yes, we told her it was important and we offered to pay her way, etc. etc. She didn't come then and she's not coming now. She called this evening and I could not answer the phone. Here was her perky, dead brain voice on the recorder, "Hey guys, just calling to check in and see how you and dad are doing." Well, fuck you, you stupid bitch. If you want to know how things are going, get your stupid ass up here and see for yourself. Don't leave the burden on me and then have me repeat my life and dad's for you. It's too sad and I won't relive it just so you can feel you did your part by listening to me. So you can kiss my rosy red ass. Or as Judy would say, "I'm wearing a red thong, bent over, and have a sign on my ass that says "Kiss This."
Not very spiritual and I know I have to work on that, but right now I just want to say, Fuck You.
So do you think I am getting better?
Cat
Judy- I guess the simpliest thing to do would be to just tell dad that we are leaving, but it seems like he always has this look on his face like why are you leaving? Or i have to answer a bunch of questions. And the main reason i leave while he is asleep is because he might ask me if i am coming back later. And i don't want to have to tell him NO. You would think that he would think that a child would come first but i think he thinks he should come first just from that remark he said the other day about me having to leave at 2 oclock to pick connor up from school. Well gonna read connor some books before he has to lay down. So i will talk at ya'll later. Love and hugs stormyy