This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Ladee- Let me just say you go girl. You are crazy and i love you.
Got to get to bed.... Love and hugs stormyyy
Ladee, the roofer didn’t do a very thorough job. It’s not karma. Whatever hole he didn’t close, the wasps found it. Best to call him back before the warranty expires. Or before you find out that you are now allergic to the wasp stings. (I read somewhere that if you keep getting stung by a bee – eventually your immunity lowers until one day, you have an allergic reaction.) So, best to get the hole fixed quickly.
This is a huge moment in time for us. We will enjoy it to it's fullest extent.
Thanks Beck, I so appreciate your friendship and support.
Bye for now. I'll miss you. Love, Cat
As for Ladee n the Walmart Cowboy....i dont think u have anything to apologize for. If anybody knows the need to let off some steam n have a lil fun....it's dear, sweet Ladee...I kno she enjoyed reading all of our ranting posts after a long, 14 hr day....i kno i would....It was all in good fun, n God knows....it sure got me thru a rough couple of days with dad....so, i say to you....thanku....looking forward to the next adventure. Ur creative writing will b invaluable wen we begin the ASS WHOOPIN on that f-n roofer.....How dare he put r Ladee in harms way wen she's jst trying to relax n have a bite to eat!!!! He's on MY sh*t list......Ready wen u r....huge hugs,n safe travels..
Must share another canine adventure before turning in...
As some of u may kno...i had my "lil ass-hole" lhasa apso, grandson here overnite...but before i took him back to his parentals...he had to leave grandma with a lil surprise, that has now traumatized me...
I've been taking care of an injured bird in my backyard for the past 3 days...He had a broken wing, n i was nursing him back to flying condition...he was very content wondering behind all my shrubs, n he was doing really well. Lily saw him hopping around n went over n tried to play a little lite soccer with her, but she immediately stopped wen i let out a blood curdling.."NOOOOOO"..n the bird escaped, unharmed n went back into the shrubs...Lily has been really good about leaving it alone n jst watching it, but not getting close to it....Then there's lil ass-hole.....Apparently, while i was gone at my dr. appt today....Gus discovered my feathered friend, n decided to play "toss the bird in the air, then catch it"....my husband was home, n watched him from the window...wen he realized wat Gus was doing...he banged on the window, n Gus let go of the bird...Bill assured me that he saw the bird hop back into the shrubs....so he felt confident that he was ok.....well....wen i went out tonite to water my garden, my feathered friend was dead! That lil ass-hole was, not only playing catch, but he was mauling the poor thing in the process....i found his dead, mauled body on the lawn, n Gus really did a number on him....I called my son, n said...."That grandson of mine is an f-n bird killer".....n he jst laughed his ass off.....i'm so sad bcuz i was able to keep the lil fella alive for 3 days, until Gus arrived....I figured..if any dog was going to kill that bird, it would have been Lily, but, nooo...it was that damn lotsa-asshole...Gus wont b getting any presents from grandma for a while....n i warned my son....don't b surprised if he's coughing up feathers for a day or two....damn dog.....he may be as cute as can be....but after that.....it's all down hill!! Woof, woof....nite ladies
On the other hand, I agree with Beck. Your roofer needs to be our next target. If wasps are finding a way in, he didn't do the best job. Now I'm sorry; but Karma did not anticipate your Wall Mart experience. It did not plan a reason to get even with you because it knew you would read that add and Cowboy would give you grief.
Something didn't get sealed. The wasps are nesting and have access to your room. This isn't Karma, it's just reality. Call the roofer and tell him you are tired of working 14 hour days just to come home to angry wasps. Something is wrong and you want it fixed. For crying out loud, you deserve a safe place to sleep.
I'm leaving town tomorrow. Flying to North Dakota to be at my Granddaughters wedding. For some reason I'm afraid to leave. We have to board our dogs and it pains us both to leave them. It pains me to leave my dad. It pains me to leave my plants and the birds who thrive on the seed we give them everyday. And yet my Granddaughter is like my own child. She has always been a special light in my life.
We will celebrate this time in her life and be there to cherish her birth, the experience of her life and our wishes of her happy tomorrows. We will hold her up to the powers that be and ask that they pass her by with life's difficulties. But we know in our heart that her journey is her own and that she will have to find her way.
Cat
And I'm sure to some it was much ado about nothing... but I know my potential to get arrested in said situation , especially when I think I am RIGHT.....
But ended up with bad karma..... ever since the guy fixed my roof, I have been getting red wasps in the house, they are always in my bedroom.... killed one this evening.... came back in here to eat something and get settled to go to bed.. felt something on my neck and BAM the sob stung me on my finger..... had to laugh, and ask myself, did you REALLY get a good deal today.... YOU BET I DID... it was worth the bad karma.....
On this site I have met a lot of people who I have come to love. They make me laugh, they make me cry and sometimes they make me want to go out there and just KICK SOME ASS.
I think my muse enjoys ass kicking. It comes to life; "What? An ass kicking?. Move that zip code size butt of yours over and give me that flippin keyboard!"
What is it really? It's a mental exercise in civil disobedience. We are free to imagine ourselves, our canine friends, our harried lives, our mismatched clothing, out in a Wall Mart parking lot wearing an obscene T-Shirt and hunting down the evil doer who thinks he can jerk us around one more time. The asshole who wants to put that last piece of straw on the camels back. Well, we are mad as hell and we are not going to take it any more!!!! This insignificant flee on a dogs ass must will pay the price in choosing Door #3. We are united with humanity.
On Lisa's thread the Kick Ass Girls wear nothing but blue tights and tuna cans on their boobs. Remember Wonder Woman? Well, fast forward 30 to 40 years. We still have that Kick Ass spirit, even if the tuna cans bruise our knees while we are running.
We are Care Givers and we navigate a difficult path. We take on burdens and we do our best in the most difficult situations. We can feel old sometimes, so tired and so very sad; but we share a common bond and maybe a common wound that has made us who we are. We are sisters and we love each other. We stand together and we kick ass and we are stronger than most, even when we are not sure we can move forward one more foot.
We hold each other up, we give it to God, we give it to each other and sometimes we give it to the Muse who loves to make us laugh.
Beck: Don't you feel bad when this day is over. The Muse will be back and we will be on another journey of laughter.
Love you all, Cattails
Cat....i jst love ya....u make , yet , another day for me, very tolerable.....Im a bit sad that today will come to an end n possibly Cowboys existence....this entire thing has kept my spirits up like nothing else....thanks to ur "professional" journalism of, wat has become, a very important story in this caregivers life!!....to quote Kimbee........"u ROCK"......love ya, girl
Cat
Well, it sounds like the crowd is chanting Door #3. Yes, as the back story of this event has been filled in, viewers have become disenchanted with Cowboy and his pathetic need to follow store policy. Americans have had it with policy and they want an ass kicking.
The cries have become particularly loud from the many Wall Mart shoppers who have been held up to world wide ridicule for continuous fashion indiscretions The fact that this pissed off care giver was wearing two different shoes and had to listen to the ineffective Cowboy bring it to her attention has sent a call for solidarity across the nation.
A crowd of cross dressers together with a contingency of blood thirsty onlookers have started to fill the Wall Mart parking lot in anticipation of tomorrow's drama. Among the blood thirsty was a woman who was yelling, "Just kick his ass now, even if you get the vacuum." She was holding a little dog with a patch over it's eye. By her side was a snarling Golden Retriever wearing a weave. This woman was also seen lying down in the parking lot, playing dead.
Not one to miss an opportunity to capitalize on this national revenge saga is a mobile T-Shirt company who has set up business in the parking lot. The "Fuck you, I'm a Caregiver" shirts are selling like hotcakes.
One group in the crowd was wearing spring loaded tennis shoes, blue tights and tuna cans. They called themselves the Kick Ass Girls and yelled that it is about fucking time that care givers, even those who dress badly, get the respect they deserve. The leader of the KAG's was demonstrating the pounce of the tree ninja while a fellow sister demonstrated the Falcon Punch.
The Hoover company has called for their Research and Development team to be on site for tomorrows showdown.
Yes, I couldn't want to be Cowboy. One way or another, there's a can of Woop Ass with his name on it.
Well, that's the latest from this Texas Wall Mart parking lot. Tune in for further updates and uninterrupted coverage beginning tomorrow at 8 AM.