This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
I have a visual of these two dogs (Lilly and Dyna) wearing cowboy boots and hats and backing up our Ladee on Tuesday. Even without the dogs, the salesman is in for it if he doesn't produce that vacuum. I'm not sure Texas will be big enough for him to hide if he doesn't!
Stormy - Happy, Happy Birthday! He's what I think about the Kick *ss attitude. It comes from my own experience and I'm about the same age as you. I rarely if ever used it growing up. So when I did, it was like a volcano errupting. And it scared me - how could I be like that? So mad and just thinking about myself and how I felt. Then I was afraid to errupt again. But now I've come to realize that I have to use it or truely loose it. And the first few times, I made a sorry fool of myself. But you know what? I got over it. Mostly. I may never get to where Ladee is, but every once in awhile, I can Kick *ss. And so can you. The worst that will happen is that someone may not like you for awhile - so what! So next time you need to KA, I'll be right there with you in your head, cheering you on all the way. That's my Birthday present to you. Hugs.
Thanks to all of you for the kind words and encouragement for my friend right now. The funeral is next week Monday/Tuesday. The third load of filthy curtains is in my dryer. And the house looks a hell of alot better than it did before this weekend. We had a cleaning brigade yesterday and many hands made light work. His Dad told me he loved all of us for helping. Almost made me cry.
And I am never leaving the house again without checking both my shoes!
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
Everyone else, y'all r just as crazy as my butt n keep me laughing for I need it.
thanks. ;)
Bookworm, I am glad your nephew took care of the doll situation for that was to do that for you to give u some peace of mind.
Brandy, I have my small Bible too but had to get me a teenager bible to understand it n it has colorful pictures. Hey, if it works it works.
Yes, i got my beatens by my mom when I was young n it was with a belt or peach switch n that damn thing hurt n left wept marks n she didn't know how to stop once she got started. Tore my legs up n I have had a boot throwed at me n busted my nose because I didn't make the baby formula bottle correctly for one of my younger sibs for her. I guess she may have been drunk?
Anyway, like Ladydee mention, "Here we are... loving, living, honoring, and being present for each other... so guess they didn't beat the "good" out of us." I like that saying for it is soooooooooooooooooo true.
Stormy: Happy Birthday to you. You are such a good person and I hope your BD is a happy one.
Seeme: I love everyone of your puppy stories, every single one. I am so happy that you and your husband can share the laughter and love your new fur babies have brought into your lives. My husband and I do the same thing every day with our 2 dogs.
Beck: You crack me up!!!! I am so grateful to you for taking the little ass hole, eh, I mean Gus, to the vet. Oh my gosh, that must have been so painful for him. I'm sure he is so appreciative of his GM coming to his rescue. So am I!!!!
Cowboy: The clock is ticking and your time is running out. Your destiny hangs in the balance of those remaining hours between now and the next sunset. You poor sucker, you have no clue that so many are perched at their computers, waiting to see what door you choose. Will it be Door #1 Ladee gets a new vacuum cleaner. Door #2 No new vacuums arrive so you sell Ladee the floor model at a discount. Door #3 Bad choice. Your misfortune brings Hoover into a new product line.
Cat
I have, yet another dog story for all of u...except it isn't about Lily....Do i hear sighs of relief from the cyber crowd????
Ok...well i am the proud "grandma" to my kids dogs...lol...they r pure bred Lhasa Opso's n , i do admit...proud or not...i refer to them as "lotsa ass-holes..." Sometimes, they jst deserve it... My son's dog is a male, named Gus....He has the most unique n beautiful sapphire blue eyes, n his personality it the best...My son called to tell me that Gus had a very bad eye infection, but didnt kno wen he would b able to get him to the vet. So...grandma to the rescue...i took Gus to the vet this morning, with his eye completely red n oozing...disgusting.......n the Dr. enters the room to start the exam. He started off by putting drops in his eye that made it numb so he could get a good look at it.....As he's examining him..he suddenly notices something sticking out of his tear duct..He proceeds to grab at it, n it was about 1/2 inch long FOX TAIL lodged in the duct. I couldnt believe it....n the dr. said in all his years as a vet, he's never seen a fox tail work its way into such a tiny hole....i felt so bad for the lil ass-hole...i mean....Gus....anyway...he cleaned out his eye really well n sent me home with eyedrops, n the appt cost $100.22!!!! WTF.....Well...i'm keeping my grandson here with me tonite, bcuz he n Lily r having a great time together....On top of that...i have dad here with me bcuz my mom had a serious meltdown this morning n wanted dad away from her....i feel so bad for my dad...he feels so ashamed of himself...but i've been hanging out with him, talking politics, n feeding his sweet face...Wat a day! I'm not sure if mom will let him come home today, so he might b staying the nite, too...oh well....the more, the merrier!!
I'm starting to feel the earth rumble over here in CA....COWBOY'S in for a caregiver's ass-whoopin, n he's still got to sell that vacuum...on sale!!!
Ladee...wear shoes that match this trip.....u can kick ass better wen ur feet r balanced...lol.....hug all
Let's all remember that tomorrow is the BIG DAY.........and everyone watch for "breaking news" out of Texas...........
I've worn 2 different shoes to work before, too........they were at least the same height, and when a man pointed it out to me, I took them off and went barefoot all day........at an automotive store.....on concrete......didn't think I would ever get them clean again..........
I always thought I was odd, because I loved scary movies all my life. But, I noticed that as I get older I cannot take the "gore" like SAW either. My Mom is still living with me, and her severe dementia does not even allow her to watch TV. So, treasure your moments and memories with your Mom hiding her eyes from the scary stuff. I just wish my Mom could interact with me or watch TV with me. She was my best friend my entire life, and I feel such a loss even though she is still alive.
I always thought I was odd, because I loved scary movies all my life. But, I noticed that as I get older I cannot take the "gore" like SAW either. My Mom is still living with me, and her severe dementia does not even allow her to watch TV. So, treasure your moments and memories with your Mom hiding her eyes from the scary stuff. I just wish my Mom could interact with me or watch TV with me. She was my best friend my entire life, and I feel such a loss even though she is still alive.
Stormy , happy Bday,,, you are a Leo and you care what people think.????.. I'm a Leo too, sorry, I must have got your shrare of "i don't give a f**k.." sure wish I could share some of it with you , then we'd both have a nice balance...I don't go around stomping on peoples feelings, but will stand up for myself in a heartbeat....and make a lot of noise about something not getting done in a fair and timely manner.... I'm gonna get that damned vacuum.... one way or the other... and trust me when I say I WILL get the demo one if there are no others there.... and at a discount.... trust me I say, just trust me.... lol... need to go to bed... long day tomorrow... love ya'll......
According to the news cast, it happened on a Tuesday when a woman wearing a shirt that said, "Fuck off, I'm a caregiver", came into to the store wearing two different shoes and demanding her vacuum. The salesperson, known only as Cowboy, said no new vacuums had come in and refused to sell her the floor model at a discount.
Cowboy is still on the job, but is limited to working in a small space, due to the electrical cord which is now pulled out of his ass and plugged into the nearest electrical outlet.
Cat
". Caregiver on a Mission.... Get the F**k out of my way..... " on the back it will say, and " yes these shoes match in Caregiver World"....