Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Ladee: Enjoy every minute of your very long overdue days off. I hope you can sleep in, putter around and just enjoy your the fact that you are alive.

Welcome to the new posters. It's late at night for me, so I'm going to bed, but I will reply to you. My heart goes out to all you are dealing with.

Sharynmarie: So glad to know your sis does not have lung cancer. I don't know what Intrestial Lung Disease is , but I will look it up. Sounds chronic, but I hope for the best. Hey, I just looked it up, but all I could find was interstitial lung disease, which is essentially Pulmonary Fibrosis. Does that sound right to you? You know my mom had Pulmonary Fibrosis for years and years. God Bless her, it just came out of nowhere. She never smoked or was around 2nd hand smoke. No idea what caused it, but in so many cases that is true. Sending you and your sis white light and healing.

Notlike: Enjoyed your post.

Hugs, Cattails
(1)
Report

Ladee: Enjoy every minute of your very long overdue days off. I hope you can sleep in, putter around and just enjoy your the fact that you are alive.

Welcome to the new posters. It's late at night for me, so I'm going to bed, but I will reply to you. My heart goes out to all you are dealing with.

Sharynmarie: So glad to know your sis does not have lung cancer. I don't know what Intrestial Lung Disease is , but I will look it up. Sounds chronic, but I hope for the best.

Notlike: Enjoyed your post.

Hugs, Cattails
(0)
Report

Smitty~I have a brother with Usual Intrestital Pneumonia/Fibrosis and my sister was just diagnoses with Intrestial Lung Disease. Is your mother's pulmonary fibrosis a result of an autoimmunine disease? I ask because you mention she has arthritis. My brother is taking high doses of Prednisone to reduce the inflammation. My sister has not started a treatment yet still waiting for all the results to come in. I empathize with your not having a social life because of the fatigue. I hope you can get help either from family, friends, church, or home health care. Keep us informed!
(1)
Report

Smitty, when was your mother diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis?

My step-mother was diagnosed with that several years ago, but a few months back was told that she had less than 6 months left to live. All of this has taken its toll on my 87 year old dad who wishes she would agree to move to an assisted living together.

I wonder if your fatigue is not a warning sign saying that you need some extra help in taking care of your mother?
(4)
Report

I care for my mom who has pulmonary fibrosis and severe arthritis. She can stay home with the help of myself and another caregiver. I am stressed out but am so grateful she doesn't have dementia or cancer. We are closer now than ever before. I never thought i would be able to say that. It is fulfilling most of the time but my fatigue is affecting my social life.
(3)
Report

My mom is having a colonoscopy tomorrow to make sure that she doesn't have colon cancer (super low risk) or anything other problems. She'll be home Friday morning, she says. I have to admit that I'm not at all thrilled. Not at all.

To top it off, my fiancé is going back home in a few days. I'm not thrilled about that either. It's like my life is going to suddenly just crumble all at once with his leaving and my mom's coming home. I'm terrified of the anxiety I'm going to feel once again with him gone. I have such fears of bad things happening to him, so much fear of being abandoned. All of that will come back in a matter of days, starting with his bus ride back home.

Well, I guess my break was good while it lasted. I didn't do much, hardly answered the phone (all my neighbors have been calling, probably wondering what's up since my mom's car has been gone so long), just sat on the couch watching scary movies and indulging in takeout.

Here's to my miserable life coming back.
(1)
Report

Well, dads bronchoscopy went alright. Dr said that he had a lot of secretions that he thought was coming from him aspirating drink and foods. He said that he didn't see anything for concern, no masses, and that he still did not have the ct scan back that they did yesterday. And dad has a appt with him again this monday at 11:30. Lord i hope sis can carry him to that. So as i told brother yesterday while we were up there at the hospital. THE SAGA CONTINUES.............. Like the Godfather movie. I told him i guess we will be starting on movie #6.............. Brother said, "Not the Saga". I had him cracking up, laughing. He said i told you they wouldn't find nothing wrong with him just like all the other drs. Then last night sis tells me that dad said that if the pain in his side (right lung) where the pleural effusion is didn't get any better then he was going to have to go somewhere. And sis just said that maybe he has got pleurisy. So who knows???? Well i gotta go pick up bil at the hospital and then connor from daycare. Chat with ya'll later. love and hugs stormyyy. P.S. To be continued just like the mini series...............
(1)
Report

New to this post - kindred spirits with funny, bittersweet, heartbreaking - strangely similar tales to share. Latest with my 81 year old Mom who lives with me is she seems to have forgotten how to take out her implanted dentures. Two nights now have been mega battles to get her to let me take them out and put them in the Efferdent. Trying to decide if I do it once a week is enough or if that will give her an awful infection under the full upper. Sometimes I feel I will go mad - nice to have a place to vent. I am looking forward to this Saturday - I am actually getting out to go with friends (not just to work). Sometimes it feels like I just work and take care of Mom... and this past weekend she forgot my name. She was fine 6 months ago except for the Arthritis. It is an incomprehensible disease! Miss her so and then all of the sudden she will tell me I look nice out of the blue - guess I better treasure those moments. An hour later she may tell me I am being mean when I tell her she needs to take her dentures out. Thanks for the sounding board.
(3)
Report

Welcome MariRosa, hope you find a 'home' here..... lots of great people on this thread, lots of love and encourgement... collectivly a lot of experiance... so hope to hear from you again.....

Notlike, what do you mean the new caregiver won't take care of S the same as me ?!?! Ya, uh huh she will !!!! Girl has a ton of energy.... want me to see if she'll hire out in other states??? She's going to do fine.... she's loud, won't take M long to squash that!!!! So, on my first long weekend in 8 months or longer... YE HAAAAAAAA.... More later, after my first nap..... love ya'lllllll
(1)
Report

Hi Jam! Hi everyone! New to the forums. Doing ok today, but again it's still early. Taking care of my 89 year old father in law with progressive dementia. He seems to be on the same dementia stage your Mom is Jam. Some days are not that bad but others we feel like we're going to lose our minds with his. Right now we're battling his urge to migrate back home. He used to be a snowbird for many years until about 8 months ago when he had some strokes that affected his memory even more. He forgets and / or refuses to use his walker often... we're lucky last time he felt was on fathers day. The other day he sneaked out of the house to go for a "walk"... but a worker on the street told us he was asking for a ride. His VA nurse just brought us some door alarms we need to install as soon as possible. Last night we watched 'Happy Feet' with him and he seemed to enjoy the music. We've only been living with him and watching him for about five months but already sometimes wonder for how long are we going to be able to live like this. My husband is a dialysis patient and my health is not that great either so sometimes it seem like too much to handle. *hugs all around*
(5)
Report

Mary-Good for you for holding your ground. At least your Mom realizes she needs care.
Ladee-A wonderful long weekend to you! That's awesome. Let's see how many naps you can get :)
Got home last night and their van was in the driveway with the flashers on and the hood up. yippee. Dad was cleaning it out and must have turned the headlights on by accident. So the battery was dead. Big emergency, don't ya know...needed to go to Walmart for Polident. It' never as funny while it's happening as it is the next day :)
Good day to everyone.
(4)
Report

One more day, then a glorious four days of not hearing... would you, could you, can you, did you, by the way, oh I forgot, when are you, why didn't you, you should have, when you have time, is it, well, I don't know about that, I need you to, and on and on.... so going to train new girl today, watch her with S, and take my little check to the bank, come home and SLEEP..... love ya'll, hugs across the miles...
(6)
Report

Hang in their Mary. Your sibs can help her with the paperwork if needed before you go. You need to be home with your family. Hugs, Cat
(0)
Report

How is this for a turn of events:
As said before, I am leaving my Moms house to go back home to my family.
Mom wanted me to be her caregiver, a position I do not believe I can, or want to do.
Today, told Mom I was leaving, she said some mean things and told me to leave and never come back.
Well, Mom called me a little while ago, apologized, talked like the Mom I knew, but still got angry when I said I could not care for her properly at home.
Then she said it would be helpful if I could find her long-term care paperwork so they can pay for another 30 days in the nursing home.........................
.
So, deep down she knows she shouldn't be home yet, but was bullying me to give in.
I tried to be very nice during the conversation, but you know, I do not like bullies.
(4)
Report

Notlike... How awesome for you!!!!! That was a MUCH needed break for you, and of course no one could tend to all those tedious details like you can.... they were just waiting for the SUPER CAREGIVER to return.... sorry, M does the same thing to me... she has two other women working for her now, but I get to do this silly stuff..... aren't we SPECIAL...
M said no on the lady that interviewed yesterday, and I'm glad.. wasn't my decision tho the daughter did ask me what I thought...... oh Lord, what a question to ask ME... of course I told her what I thought.... that I didn't feel like the lady really wanted to work, that she may have thought it was just setting around watching TV and maybe fixing a meal.....but M is the one that said NO, so another girl coming in tomorrow.... either way, I get my long weekend... YeEEeEE Haaaaaaaa !!!! love ya'll
(3)
Report

Caregiver,
great news. Take the job!!!!!! These past few years have been very hard on many of us - getting back to your former income level is a great opportunity.
(1)
Report

Well, Saturday was a good day. I did nothing related to caregiving. I know I'm lucky to still get a day like that once in awhile. It won't last, but I make the most of it while I can. I did what I wanted, when I wanted.
Of course, I paid for it. Last night, instead of being at the gym, I ran their errands...picked Dad up at the tire place, dropped off library books, bought buttons for Mom that she thought were on sale but aren't until Friday - but I had to run right over and get them before they ran out. Oh, back to real life.
Dad is not really better. He is only having one BM a day, which is an improvement. But it's still mostly liquid. It's been 4 days without his meds, and I expected to see more improvement if that's the cause. I think the going less is only because of the new pill they started him on. I'm going to email the doc tomorrow if things don't improve and make an appointment at the GI clinic. I'm also waiting for the C-pap people to call me back. he's lost so much weight, his mask doesn't fit right anymore. When it rains....
Cat-Good to see your Dad was out and about in his wheel chair. He seems to be settling in pretty well. Hugs.
Wanda-poohey on the broken car! My parents' van has been broken, too. It sucks. Hugs.
Caregiver - I was LMAO about the placement of the dead bug! Hope you do find a better job closer to you. Hugs.
Mary - blessings to you! Enjoy your normal life. Your family will be so happy to have you home. Hugs.
Vic-Glad you got some stable days. Any kind of normal is nice. Relax a bit when hubby gets home - I know you need it. Hugs.
Hope everyone is having a decent day, and if not, may angels hold you up.
(3)
Report

thanks everyone, but unfortunately it requires a move of a few hundres miles away and I am in no position financial or otherwise, and I prefer to work from home, however, on a brighter note they did tell me of a position coming up in October I might fit into .... they also said if they start hiring from home in that department I'll be hearing from them....I have a job I like but better pay and benefits is a good draw for me away from it
(1)
Report

Caregiver..hope job comes through!
(0)
Report

Morning...have had a few days that both parents are stable. Dad is more lucid and is feeding himself pretty well! Mom seems calm blood work was good so Coumadin is doing the job. She has had to take and extra anxiety pill periodically but glad she realizes that she is getting that way. Hubby is coming home tonight..yaay! Been a rough two weeks. One day last week I was washing dad..getting him ready to get up and I guess the way I was bending over gave me a muscle spasm in hip down leg. Ouch! It is finally getting better but will welcome help from hubby.
Stormy..hang in there girl..try to take the day moment by moment. You are a loving daughter wife mother and sister. Prayers for you. Did you tell sis about your trip?
Mary..hope the drive has been good and the music cranked up!
ASG..sorry that cat took off..hope you and family doing ok.
Seeme..fur babies are having fun at your expense! Love ya girl.
(1)
Report

Caregiver! Good luck! Fingers and toes crossed!
(0)
Report

Caregiver, how awesome for your new job offer... prayers for you... and in regard to mom, well, it's a been a few years since you have needed her blessings with new adventures... sorry she wasn't happy for you.... we are tho... so there are more of us than her... so let us know if you get the job....can't change mom, but you sure can change your and your kids future..... hugs and angels.....
(3)
Report

how am I today, well part of me is feeling pretty great...I just had a new job opp put in front of me with better pay, medical/dental benefits, and they will match my rrsp contribution, putting my kids and I back to where we were before my lay off in February of this year. I decided, against my better judgement to share the great news with my mother. I told her they hours may be better to at 7 am - 3 pm, however, she has informed me I need to think about the shake up of my household with this and how it may inconvenience everyone else...well the only one not happy about this is HER...I did the testing and have my fingers crossed because it would give us a much better quality of life..I phoned her today and she was putting some laundry away , did some dishes and puttered around...hmmm...not bad for someone in such pain and disabled, considering she mentioned being outside, where she went to watch a man unload his truck so she could approve of how he was doing and what he was doing....true to course she told me that was okay with her, he wasn't hurting anything.
(1)
Report

Mary...Turn the music up, roll the windows down so the beast can stick his/her head out into the rushing air, say goodbye to every mile of the road behind you and enjoy the freedom! There's nothing like going home. Good luck!
(1)
Report

13 hour drive straight thru.
Just me, my dog and all of my worldly possessions in the trunk of my car.
I won't even fuss about the road construction in So. Georgia (OMG!)
.
(0)
Report

Well sis carried dad to the dr today and they done a xray on him and the dr said that it looked like he didn't have a lot of pleural effusion, but he wants to do a ct scan with contrast and a bronchoscopy tomorrow. So me and my brother are carrying him up there tomorrow. We got to leave at 8 to get there by 9. And i am going to have to get up at 5:30 or 6 to get myself and connor ready so i can carry him to daycare. Sis said that we should be through by 2 and put us getting home about 3:00. So it is going to be a busy and stressful day to say the least!!!! I will be ready for a drink and my cigarettes when i get home....... Dreading tomorrow. Will life ever be normal again???? I wonder sometimes....... I guess i need to get to bed so i can start another lovely day in the life of caregiving... The gift that keeps giving.........Love and hugs stormyyy
(0)
Report

Mary: I imagine when you start your drive to Nashville you will be feeling a real sense of freedom. I'm very happy for you. You go enjoy your family and be happy. It's time. Love, Cattails
(0)
Report

Mary, so glad to hear that things have turned out so well for you and your Mom. This reprieve will also give you and your siblings time to put a plan in place for when Mom can no longer live alone. But in the meantime, enjoy watching those tourists! Congrats on the soon-to-be grandbaby.....that's always welcome news. Please come back and let us know how you are and how things are progressing with Mom.
Thinking of you all tonight........hope it's a good night for each of you!
(0)
Report

Here in Florida, there are some strange laws so I am confident that the NH will follow the law in both deed and spirit - too much has been said by more than one sibling to allow them to act neglectfully. Maybe not what we would all think is best, but here in Florida, legal..................
There is a version of the California 5150 that you heard about with Britney Spears a few years ago - committing someone against their will.....................
Bankruptcy law is different here from any other state I have ever lived in or done business in - that is why OJ Simpson moved here after the murder trial...................
The medical care system here is, oh, I don't know the word, backassed, maybe?! .....................
Bulk healthcare, like going to Sams Club: generic, one size fits all, giant packs of toilet paper......

The people are very nice and friendly down here. Not Southern-nice, but Yankee nice, so pretty good. The water is beautiful. If you like warm weather, this is the place to be. Prices in this town are low. But it is not home and I am going home.......................
.
By this Friday I will be sitting on the couch, cuddling with my littlest grandson, playing a game together on my laptop, interspersed with minor bouts of tickling and wrestling, excuse me, 'rastlin'.............................
(3)
Report

Mary -welcome -you have to do what is best for you and I am glad you are standing up for yourself-I spent lots of years waiting for others to realize I needed more help with the husband and finally had to tell everyone I could not care for him anymore-now that he has passed I belong to a caregiver's support group-those 16 years of being his caregiver gave me experience -so I take that to the meeting and also 2 of my friends who were caregivers also go to give advice to those going through it now-attention is finally going to caregivers now that people are living into their 90's and older. Good luck to you in getting settled in an apartment and am so glad you did not cave in to care for your Mom-if she is treating you badly now it would get worse if you take on her care yourself-the social worker who thinks she is acting responsible does not seem to understand how she really can not cope caring for herself-but it does not have to be you doing the caring. I hope you keep in touch with us.
(1)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter