This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Peach-Welcome, and please consider the caring and advice being shared here. Stress is awful, and we are here to help you share it. We even laugh alot here...believe it or not! Many hugs.
Beck-We need a BOLO on Ladee- you know - a Bring Our Ladee Online! :)
Well, let me entertain you all with the start and end of a little four hour block of time last night...Woke up at about 1:30 AM. I tried to flush the toliet when I was done, but it didn't work. First thought, maybe the chain thingee is kinked. So, half asleep, I open the tank and fiddle with the chain. Then it occurs to my fuddled mind that if I can stick my hand in and wiggle the chain, there is no water. Oh, the well pump switch is out again. Joy. In my house, this gets fixed by percussive maintanence...hitting the switch box with a hammer. So I dig out the flashlight and hammer. Both are in the pantry, because that seemed like a good place for the flashlight, and MY toolbox is also in there. Along with my box of finishing nails that say "Becky's nail's...touch and you die." But that's another story.
Anyway, I go downstairs and open the water closet (cute, huh?). Since I'm almost asleep, I do not see the large, evil spiders waiting in there. I locate the box, and reach only my arm and the hammer in (I still know the spiders are there!) and whack the box. The pump turns back on, so I go back to bed feeling like a DIY queen. Four hours later I wake up for the day, shuffle into the bathroom again, and whack the top of my foot on the corner of the sink cabinet. Before I could pee, I had a goose egg from my pinkie toe across to my big toe! When hubby gets up, there is a hammer on the kitchen counter and I am hobbling around with an ice pack pressure taped to my foot. Lovely man-he asked me very sincerely not to break anythign in the house or on my body until he could get home tonight. The pump is now fixed - he finally got the parts today. My foot is another thing entirely. I will probally be wearing socks and show covers at work tomorrow because I don't think I'm getting the mis-shapen lump into any shoe I own.
At work, the Devil Went Down to Georgia came on, and I said I loved to dance to that song. My coworkers said they would pay to see that, since I am unable to walk through my house without injury! The finks!
Praise the Lord I did not have to clean the bathroom up after one of Dad's accidents this morning, or get up any more during the night to have Mom take a pill. There are small mercies!
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
Wanted to let you all know that Saturday is PUPPY DAY. Finally. I have been waiting 9 months for this. Feel like I could have had them myself!! Breeder sys Harley and Dyna play and sleep together like they know they are going to the same house.......and Dyna rules!! Girl power!!! And it is supposed to rain on Sat., so I guess I will get used to wet dog smell in a hurry. I will add their picture to my profile.
Need to tell you about the latest pee story on the way to Maine. I told ya'll about hubby having to go into the woods on the hwy between Baltimore and DC the last time, and everyone honking and hollering while he hugged a tree with a bright red shirt on. This time he picked I-287 over the Tappan Zee Bridge in NY. As we slowly go over the Hudson River with 4-5 lanes of traffic, I guess seeing all that water got to him. He screamed at the toll taker when she couldn't get the change right for the car in front of us, but he was polite when we got there. Then he pulls off violently to the right under an overpass. He slammed the van in Park, twisted around somehow and peed in a coffee cup I was saving for such an occasion, and damned near filled it up. All you could see through the driver's window was this NEON LIME GREEN SHIRT!!! His brother passed by us during the event, and the nephews realized right away who it was in the shirt. On the way home, I made sure he was wearing grey or black shirts, and I guess that prevented any further episodes.................
Still messing with papers here. I found telegrams from the 50's announcing hubby's birth, Christmas greetings , receipts for musical instruments from the 40's, have 4 Bibles.......just trying to get things put away and puppy proof. Hope to get some cleaning done before the puppies arrive, cause I won't do it for a while for playing with them.
Hubby's family finally figured out what was wrong with me when I told them I chewed lead paint off windowsills as a child......just so you all know........
Peach, could an antidepressant help? I don't know of many caregivers who aren't on something to make the stress bearable. Let me catch up on the posts. Better living through chemistry, as the saying goes. I am still on one so I can make it through the grief of losing my mom and mil only 8 months apart............
The fact that u r self-harming is extremely upsetting to hear, n, i dont have to tell u that its not the answer to ur problems with mom...its a temporary moment of release of frustrations, i know..but there still there wen the wounds heal...Please...stop...n seek help from someone u can trust...be it family or friend.....or all of us here on this thread. Before u self-harm....post first...let us know how we can help u thru that moment. I understand from ur post that u cannot afford therapy, but r there county agencies in ur area that could help u for free.?...there are agencies here for just that reason...jst bcuz u cant afford therapy doesnt mean ur not entitled to help. Please look into that for urself....u r so worth it...Until u have found the proper place to go....please keep posting ,especially wen the need to harm urself surfaces. There are many support groups out there that u may find very helpful n they may be able to help u find a therapist...
There are days wen my caregiving duties become overwhelming, n i want to take a few more pain meds to escape it all......i come here first.....this group of wonderful people have never failed me...Please...give us a chance to help u, too. I will keep u in my prayers....i kno, all to well, the struggles u r going thru.....it doesnt have to be that way.......Keep reaching out...we're listening, Peach......much love n hugs
Mom got me out of bed at 5AM, wanting to go to the ER. A few hours later, I got a call from her at the hospital, saying she has a broken rib. None of us (not in the doctor!) knows how it happened, since she hasn't done anything strenuous or suffered from any falls or traumas. Her legs are getting really bad due to her lymphedema. She has another doctors appointment today to figure out what to do. I think they'll just wrap them up again and send her home. She's really suffering.
I'm not doing so well either. I'm becoming more and more upset that I can't afford therapy at all. I've started self-harming again, because I can't cope with being her caregiver. On top of my own issues, it's just too much and it doesn't seem like it's going to get any better anytime soon. In fact, she is placing *even more* responsibility on me in the next few months. I can't take much more of this.
SHE HAS BEEN MIA FOR SEVERAL HOURS FROM THE THREAD, N WE ARE VERY CONCERNED..IF U SHOULD SPOT SAID CHICKEN, IT IS VERY POSSIBLE SHE WILL HAVE HER LUGGAGE WITH HER...PLEASE, CAREFULLY PULL UR VEHICLE ALONG SIDE SAID CHICKEN, AND GENTLY THROW A BLANKET OVER HER CROWN, AS NOT TO FRIGHTEN HER, N RETURN HER TO THE AC THREAD, ASAP....N, PLEASE.....DONT FORGET TO BRING HER LUGGAGE......SHE LOVES IT!!!!!
I think the anger and irritability is made worse by the seroquel she takes, but her doctors want her to stay on it. I lowered her dose slowly over a few months from 1/2 of 25mg tablet to about 1/8 (a tiny crumb) at night because she has increased jaw biting, head nodding and her tongue pushes out her lower lip slightly. I'm afraid to keep her on it, but I'm also afraid of withdrawal if she discontinues it. Could the anger and facial movements get worse even though she is on a tiny dose? She also has a cough, probably from her blood pressure medication, Diltiazem.
Sounds to me like you are burned out from doing all of this 24/7 with no help. How are you living without any pay from them?
You mentioned before that your brother comes over and works on projects with your dad, so I would assume that he loves your parents and is involved. What does he think? Will he be supportive of you getting Power of Attorney for your dad? Does he share your feelings about a nursing home?
I don't know why your sisters are being so difficult or why it bothers them that you are there. You did mention before that your two children live there too and that your had lost your home before moving in with the folks. Maybe that has something to do with it.
I think you dad has made it clear to you that you are needed and they could not manage without you. You also said that sometimes he worries that he is supporting all of you? Maybe he voiced that concern to one of your sisters. Do you think that is possible?
I think, from your other thread, that the bone of contention is that you have no income. I realize that you put in tons of hours with your mom's care and you dad uses that time during the day to escape to his garage. He needs the break from your mom and you give him that and give her the care she needs.
I don't know if your brother is an ally, but if he is, is it possible that you could work in your nursing profession for 2 days a week and that the cost of an in-home caregiver could be shared between you, your dad and your brother?
Just trying to think of a way for you to bring in some income and also keep parents at home. Also, Darcy, you need some time to yourself. You can't live like this 24/7, caring for your parents and having your dad worried about money and your sisters stirring up trouble.
There are some amazing care givers on this site. Please join in and stay with us. We want to support you and help you find a way to resolve the outside stress of this situation. Please know that you are in safe company. Not all suggestions are helpful. Mine may not work, but stay with us and know we care. Hugs, Cattails
Recently she has been putting nasty comments on my facebook page about me taking advantage of my parents. I removed her from my facebook and blocked her. I don't need that. After that my brother said that he wanted to give me a heads up, that the 2 sisters (who normally hate each other.) were talking and decided that my parents should get a small house near the sister who lives 1 1/2 hours from here... where they could live ALONE. She could "check in on them once a week or so?!" My mom can't even toilet alone. Can't get out of the chair most of the time without strong assist. ??? Needs constant supervision. I decided to send out an "update" of what a typical day looks like here, so my siblings could see what goes into caring for my.... OUR parents. I spared very few graphic details, including what goes into toilet cares, meals, etc. to let them see that their uninformed idea would not work.. though I didn't mention that my brother told me anything.
Now my AK sister wrote to me last night that our parents are broke because of ME living here with them... that I should have never gotten involved with caring for them. That she thinks it best we just sell their house and put them in a nursing home. Period... she had a lot of nasty things to say about me, my family as well. ??? I think it would kill my dad living in a nursing home. i know how they are. My dad would end up feeling like HE had to do everything for my mom, as they don't have enough staff to provide the cares she is used to.
Anyway, my parents don't want to move. They don't want to sell the house. They are NOT broke. I don't get paid/compensated in any way for caring for them... it would cost a LOT more to live in a nursing home!? They don't want to help. I get that. But why does it bother them so that I am doing what i can to care for them the best I know how?? This is the short version. I am just frustrated!
Only u know if u are in any danger of misusing medications n alcohol....n only u know the reasons when n why u use them. I jst wanted to share some of my struggles with this same issue in hopes of reaching somebody in need of the help. If that is not you...then, God Bless...keep it up..
As for that "lil" patch of grey hair u discovered......let me b the first to congratulate u on that one!!!! I look at my grey hair as hard earned, silver strands of honor and commitment...lol....except...i took it a bit too far, n i now have a "Crop" of honor n commitment on my head......lol...too much of a good thing aint always so good..haha...U take care, young lady....jst kno there r people who care about u, n this will always remain a safe place , should u need it....much love n hugs....hope u get some rest tonite..
Wishing you more moments of love and happiness. Hugs, Cattails
Stormy-thinking of you, hon. Hugs.
Lildeb-thanks to you and others for the understanding. Hey, at least you and the dogs got a shower! I missed one for a few days this past week...too tired, and nowhere to go important enough to care :)
Ladee-we should just set all the newbies in this world, and my Mom, down with you for a "talk". How much better things would run! :) Glad son continues to improve. Hugs.
Seeme-I am so lucky I'm not anywhere near where your rummage was! I would have bought 1/2 the stuff! Ah, another vice of mine...unlike the wacky weed vice, which for me is just a cyber joke. My two frozen drinks last weekend were probably my last ones for the summer...I had a darn headache after drinking them. It sucks to be out of practice (JK)
Beck-you always make me laugh :) Leave the little knife alone - if surgery can't get you out of caregiving, a paper cut isn't going to do it either! LOL
Cat-glad you talked with your Dad. He definately has an excellent shot of settling in where he is...with all the nice people, it sounds like a good place.
Dad is feeling better. Still having some looser BM's, but not as bad. Hopefully we will hear something next week. He's lost 15 pounds already...and I have to go the gym just to loose 7! :(
Mom had a brain MRI yesterday. We'll get the results on Friday. She is getting tired again more easily. One day at a time with her. I've also impressed more than once on her that Dad needs rest. I guess I'll know when I need to step in more, both to her and for her. So far, the time just doesn't feel right. I know she will resist no matter what, so I better make it worth my while.
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
Stormy, I am so sorry you are feeling depressed n I am actually feeling a little bit better n I feel a little selfish. I hope you can get yourself out of that depressed mode for that can be a bummer. Been their n done that. Can you go outside n just listen to the birds n try looking at the pretty clouds in the blue sky n see if u can visualize anything thing from the clouds? It sometimes help me n gets my mind off of things. I do hope you get to feeling better soon.
Cattail, as for the parents, dad is loving all the attention from the nurses at the rehab n they did transfer the SM yesterday but she is in a separate room. Maybe that will give each other an incentive to visit each other or not. my what ever I got is now trying to break up out of my chest since my running nose has stopped. Not sure which is better but running nose or cough your brains out what little I have left. ; ) At least the throat, nose n ears r feeling a bit better. Plus, I got a 1.5 hr nappy poo. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz it felt great.
Love, Cattails
My father is doing as well as he will be doing. My sister is hanging in there.
My Dear Hubby stays so sad now that he understands that he will not get better.
I had a great weekend at the lake. Thank you DIL. She paid for everything. My son OKed the whole trip. He is a long haul trucker. We took one of the grandkid's. Ashlyn (9 yo). I played with her in the pool all afternoon. So much fun.
DIL was so sweet. She made me feel so relaxed and so loved. Even bought me a drink called a mudslide.(LOL) I might have a drink maybe one or two times a year. She handed it to me then started laughing. I ask her what was so funny.
she said oh nothing, i just want you relaxed. All this and her knowing I am not a drinker. Never had one before. Found out that sucker had 4 kinds of booze in it.
LOL!!! HUGS to all of you. Wanda B.
Let my begin by saying that Cattails post to u is about as true n honest as it gets...I only wish i had Cattails in my life wen i was at my lowest....but, we BOTH have her wisdom now....a blessing, for sure....
Whether or not u r struggling with an addiction of any kind, is certainly none of my business....i can only surmise by ur posts that u r having some difficulties juggling all the immense responsibilities that r ur life. Im about to say some things here, without judgment or criticism included, bcuz, i know, first hand.....that approach never works and its a dangerous path to travel with anyone who is already judging n criticizing themselves. We r certainly r own worse enemy.....at least i kno that i am..
Im a 53yr old woman, married 30 yrs to my high school sweetheart, mother of 3 grown kids, daughter n caregiver to both my beautiful parents............n....to sweeten my history even further......a pain pill addict for more than 30yrs of my life.
Mind u.....a "legitimate" addict..(that always makes addicts like myself...feel justified...lol)...never the less.....i will b in need of these meds for the rest of my life.
Wen i look back over those years, i've had to ask myself..."Mel, have u been responsible n used ur meds bcuz of "legitimate" (there's that word again....)pain, or have u used them wen ur life as jst become an f-n pain."....there's a monumental difference. Whenever i meet someone who says that they have used pills, or alcohol to ..help them sleep...or, escape my crazy life for jst a little while...or...i deserve it..i work hard n need a break (Ive used all of these, by the way!!), it raises a red flag for me, bcuz,as an addict......this is the first sign of rough waters ahead..
I have been judged n criticized by more people than i care to count because of my addiction n the behaviors i have shown to others wen under the influence. Unfortunately....one cannot b a pill addict without alcohol being close behind....They go hand in hand.....always....
I have jst come thru the most difficult 9 mnths with my kids bcuz of behavior i exhibited on thanksgiving day...2011....Ladee knows my story, but i have no problem sharing it with all of u...who knows....it may b someones epiphany.....i pray that it is..
As of yesterday...i am now speaking to all of my kids for the first time in 9 mnths. They have judged my actions of that day, very harshly, and left me without a shred of dignity....i hated myself, everyone else around me, n i'll b perfectly honest when i say...i wanted to die. I jst thought after all the embarrassment n humiliation i had caused my family.....it would b best for all ,that i call it quits....thank God i never went thru with that thought.
To have ones life judged, criticized, scrutinized, n held under a microscope to b shredded, cell by cell, is more than anyone should have to endure. It's not right. As u have mentioned.....no one here has walked in ur shoes n lives the pressures that ur life has demanded of u to take care of.....by urself...... i get it.......i think all of us here....get it...I say to u, with complete, n heartfelt sympathy......im sry that ur life is so hard right now.....but there seems to be more here than jst the pressures of your home life that concern myself n others on this thread....Dont misunderstand my intention here.....im no AA group traveling cyber-space...although i do attend a group that has helped me understand myself more clearly n helped me to stay accountable, at all times, wen i think i need my meds...I always must double check my intention before taking that next dose...Is my pain level beyond wat i can tolerate to get through that particular moment?.......many times....absolutely.......or....Am i taking that next dose, or drink, bcuz im fed up, tired, beaten down by the world n all who reside in it......! Am i taking it to jst escape for awhile....feel high...afterall..that IS the payoff for a drug or alcohol abuser....the high keeps us comin back for more...at least it has been the payoff for myself.... I've had to learn to face the challenges of my everyday existence with my "intention" first n foremost as my internal guide...Not easy....n i have not always won that internal battle, but i have certainly come a long way....n..today...i can honestly say....my "intention" guides me well.
Im not sure why i decided to go this route with u, except that i sense that u r in that place where u r beaten down..exhausted..mis-understood...lost...hopeless...unappreciated...taken advantage of.......Burned....the list goes on n on....I get it...n wen we r in that place, some of us reach for that drink, or that bottle of pain pills to make it all go away....It wont work!! Wen u come out of that fogginess, ur still right back where u started...only feeling even worse about urself for taking that "much deserved" break... We all deserve those breaks....but we deserve to have our dignity entacted once the break is over..
I lost my self worth n dignity for many years...n i have worked long n hard to regain myself n my family....but i must always remember....im only 1 dose n 1 drink away from starting all over again....Intention....always start from intention..
I think, along with ur therapist, u should ask urself some difficult question, n answer them with complete honesty to urself first....this is not as easy as it sounds..Look at ur self in the mirror...revisit those moments where u've needed something to get u thru ur ,already, difficult life n circumstances. R u making excuses, as i have, to justify, wat could be a serious problem?? Ask ur children how they view there mommy on a given day....there is where the rubber truly meets the road. Children see everything and make a decision about us by the example that we set each day..I'll never forget wen i picked my youngest up from 2nd grade, and as we entered the house, she turned to me n said, "Mommy, can u take ur pain pills so u can help me with my homework?" I had no idea that she even paid attention or noticed that i would pop a few pills before homework time...WOW....a memory that has never left me nor her...she is 20yrs old now....Regrets r hard, and cruel.....but exist for a reason.
Ur actions n behaviors are being closely watched. Please....always b aware of that. I worry about u, bcuz i have lived thru the outcome of my choices, n thank God...i still have my kids...
Just b honest with urself......really honest.....U may not have a problem at all, n i may b spouting off words that dont apply to u, but i sense something in your posts that is almost a silent cry for help..I jst wanted u to know.....there someone out here in CA that really does understand the struggle.....i jst dont want it to become the demon....
I'll apologize, up front, if i have crossed a line with this post...If anything.....mayb it will be of help to someone, n if any of wat i have shared, applies to ur life, i hope i have helped in some way...I admire wat u do for ur family,Burned....I jst want u to come to a place where u can admire urself.......God Bless u, sweetie.......huge hugs from sunny CA....
Not to get personal, but I don't imagine you have much of a sex life, if any, and there is really no one in your life that is there for your needs or to make your days, nights or your heart a little lighter. And, yes, you are in your 30's so that's a big loss.
When your best friend moved to your area, you talked a couple of times about the two of you going out and having some drinks. Or maybe she came to your place. I don't remember, but I worried a bit then because it is normal to want to have some fun, but I hoped it didn't get you into a bad place with alcohol and partying.
I can understand having a glass of wine at the end of the evening to help you relax and get some sleep, but it can be a slippery slope and you were the one who said you were drinking too much. I'm not criticizing or judging you at all. Just don't want you to add another problem to the burdens you already carry.
I'm glad you see a therapist and have someone you can talk to about your daily life. I wonder if you could talk to him/her about how you can build your self esteem during these difficult times. I may not explain this well, but what I am trying to say is if you can find a way to manage all the difficulties with less anger and a less defensive attitude you will feel better about your self and the situation.
Learning new skills to handle stress and difficult circumstances; one that gives you a sense of personal pride and peace, will do so much for your sense of self. You are a fighter and you've defended yourself a lot in your life. It's how you were raised and it is a natural response for you. It's how you survived. But sometimes what you project is what you get back.
I'm not saying anything is your fault. What I am saying is that the circumstances are what they are and you may not be able to change them. All you can do is change yourself and how you respond to them. You have so many people you have to work with in caring for your family. If you can learn new coping skills and get through difficult problems with with less anger and frustration, you will see change in your life. You will see change in your children too; maybe even your husband. You will be the center of positive change for your family.
I am saying this with love and the best of intentions. We all need to work on our coping skills and how we treat and relate to other people. It's a life long process and every time we manage to handle something better, getting what we need without alienating others, we feel better about ourselves.
Keep an open mind and talk to your therapist about this. Bring up an example of someone you had a confrontation with, what you wanted from that person, what you got and how you could have handled it better. I'm not talking about your sis or extended family. Just your everyday life right now.
You have tremendous potential. Your kids will both be going to school this year and that will open some doors for you. Anything you can do to improve yourself in managing anger and frustration will open even more doors for you..
Sending you love and comfort. Cattails
Burned, I think this is the first time you have ever aknowledged that others are trying to help you....and no, we don't walk in your shoes, we really have no idea what your life is like.... and I am happy you didn't take offense or feel judged when others were trying to help guide you in a different direction.... all I can do is pray for you, that you get a break soon, finacial help, a new job, some respite, you have been here for a long time... and people really do care about your situation....
Seeme, did you bring ME something from all that stuff??? You know that sometimes it's ALL ABOUT ME.... glad you are home....
Stormy, sorry you are depressed... but was glad to hear dad was able to stay alone.... How is your bil? keep us posted on your situation....
Darcy, glad you feel you have found a safe place to have your feelings... our feelings aren't right or wrong, but it's so nice to have people to share them with....
I can not believe it is only Wed.... I feel like I could sleep for a week....
lildeb, ya, it's a miracle he wasn't killed or killed someone else.... the hospital they took him to was 2 1/2 hours away... I do not remember any of that drive there.... didn't know anything on how bad he was hurt, Hiway patrol came and told me, all they said was he was a Code 3..... what ever in the hell that means to a scaired mama!!!!! He was in surgery 4 hours with them trying to put him back together.... so yes, it's a blessing he is still here to get on my last nerve.... that's my boy, his whole purpose in life is to make me worry......
Jam, did you have a big fish fry from the fish out of the drying up pond.... but I am confused.... you don't want them to die, so you kill them anyway and eat them.???? I know I am dense sometimes, so I am missing something here....
I know I have missed someone this morning.... it has been a long week and it's only half way over... this old lady is needing some serious time off.....
Hugs across the miles to all of you... find one thing to be grateful for today....
Notlilke: Keeping you and your dad in my prayers. Glad cancer has been ruled out, but hope a solution to the problem is found.
Lideb: Get better. Give us an update of your dad and step mom when you get more info.
Beck: My heart goes out to you. Stay away from neckties and sharp objects.
Ladee: You are always a bright light. Glad your son is improving and hope you get some rest. Your humor and kind words always lift spirits.
Vic: Hope things improve. You do so much for your parents. Hang in there.
Rioblue and Darcy: Hope you stay with this thread. Lots of good people who share your world.
I took my dad a cheeseburger for lunch today and we had lunch, privately, just the two of us. I told him my hubby was having some medical problems and essentially explained that he would be at the facility for some months so we could have time to get ourselves together. He was clearly concerned about my husband and asked me, "How old is he now?" So we talked about him being there and I reminded him that Nick was there and that the nurses, Karen, Christy and Julie, really cared about him and wanted to make him happy. I asked him if he was upset with me. He seemed surprised by the question and said, "No." So I told him how much I loved him and he said he loved me too. I promised I would be there all the time to see him and bring him special lunches.
Later, back at the nurses station, Christy asked him how his hamburger was. He was all smiles and she hugged him and he laughed.
Things went well and I did feel a big load off my shoulders when I left. He's really a nice man and I wish he was well and independent like he use to be. Bless his soul. I do love him and we will carry on.
Love to all of you, Cattails.