The Caregiver... How are YOU doing today?

I haven't posted in awhile but just wanted to tell you I'm taking a week of vacation next week and doing what I want for once! No money to go anywhere but will go to my camper and spend some time up there and soak up some much needed sun. I've already told my hubby to not expect me to be over to the nursing home. He can reach me by phone 24/7 and so can the staff. Looking forward to some time of from work and him. I sound awful, don't I? Speaking of phones, he doesn't seem to know day from night and called me twice during the night, at midnight and again at 12:30. He has a clock in his room too. So now I'm sleep deprive this morning as I couldn't get back to sleep and only got 2 1/2 hrs. of sleep before I had to get up for work! I got him a small refrigerator for his room last month and now he thinks he has to have all kind of goodies in there, ice cream, pop, cheese, etc. I guess it gives him so reassurance that he's not going to starve! But he's lost 16 lb. in the last month and they don't know why. What next? Have a good day everyone!

I would call your senior center and ask what activities they have and visit it with your gm -ours has many activities and lunch is only 2.50 and is very nutriscious-she might enjoy visiting there one or two days a week-most offer transportation at very low cost-and they might also have a social worker you could talk to about howhard it is for you to cope with gm-just being with people her age might make a big diference-please at least call them.

Beckncall, you sound very talented. I wish I could have learned to play the piano. I tried to learn bass clarinet once but found out I was better at singing than playing. So I was in school chorus and loved it. I didn't go to college.

As far as home grocery delivery, yes we have tried Schwans but my grandma thinks they are too expensive. We don't have any other food delivery except pizza which is too salty for her high blood pressure to eat very often.

We have a local senior center but i don't believe they have those type of services. They have classes like arts and crafts, but grandma has crippled hands because of shingles years ago and arthritis. I have asked a home health agency if they had shopping or errand running services and was told they didn't have anyone available for our county. Also, our town is considering ending home health services altogether because of cost.

I wish I felt more comfortable driving to take my grandma out for a drive or to a store more often. We do have a transportation service but you have to make an appt days or weeks in advance to ride. social services did not come back or offer help.

Thanks for suggestions and hugs.

I'm just...exhausted and emotionally corroded at this point. I feel like I could fall in a vat of sour bile and it'd be an upgrade.

I forgot to mention, I just received a bill from my dr's appt in Atlanta already! I went on June 6th n got the bill yesterday. It only been a week like r u kidding me! Gets better. I look at the bill n this bill is only for visit at the doctor their n not the lab. I look n notice Outpt bill is $190.00 then I look and see this
'PQRI list of current meds verified' $0.01 yes, I was charged .01 cents for her going over my meds. wtf? what was the $190.00 bucks used for?
Then it gets better, hold on to your seat. I am getting charge for 'current tobacco non-user CCAd, CAP,COPD, PVD' $0.01. One more, 'Screening mamogram result document review' $0.01 r u kidding me. I brought them a copy of my mamogram. I have heard of nickle-n-dime you to death but never experince the nickle-n-penny to death. Good Grief!

Musiclover, I see you tried social service but did they not give you their number for any resources for help? Also, I agree with the others that to try and seek if you have in your local area called, 'Area Agency on Aging.'
If u go toward top of this page in the blue areas, their is a place in the 'Caregiver Support,' then when you hover over it with your mous you should see, 'Find Agencies on Aging." I think all u have to do is click it n put in your zip-code n it should show if their is one close to your area. These people really helped me out n even gave me a copy of their resources n what they offer and besides me taking notes for I would forget half of it if I don't write it down. All you can do is try this place n see what they have to offer for you n your grandma. Good Luck.

bee-Good to hear from you. Congrads to you and Austin on loosing wt.
musiclover-the only possitive thing I have to add is wondering if your town has any grocery deleivery services. By me, we have Swann's, which deliver their own food, and Pea Pod, which delivers regular stuff from the grocery store. Maybe that would help? Hugs.
Not a great day. I left my meds at work Friday, and thought I could make it through the weekend with the one dose I had at home. By this morning, I was dizzy with pain. I did feel better after taking it at work, so I went to the gym tonight. The class I went for was cancelled, and I only had my swim suit with me, so no workout today. While I was there, I slipped and hurt my leg. Think I pulled a muscle. And all that doesn't even include dealing with my parents. So I came home and baked a cake.
I feel for those of you giving hands on care. I know it's coming with my parents, and it's what I do, in part, for my patients at work. But my issues right now are dealing with the independence vs. taking care of stuff for them.
When they got here, I really feared Mom wanting to take control like she had at my sister's house. She was too sick to do much housework anyway, but as she felt better, I did not encourage full-fledged cleaning. And mostly what she would fuss about, she made my Dad clean anyway. He does all the dishes, and is supposed to vacuum.
I've put up with her pointing out what she felt was messy, and making a big deal about how she cleaned it. I've tried to be supportive when they did do something, like sweeping outside. But I'm getting tired of the stove (one of the things she did a massive cleaning job on) being dirty all the time. I don't fry food, so I know it's not me leaving grease spattered everywhere. Last week she even said she had made a mess, and that she would clean it up the next day. When I got home from work, I had to clean the grease before I could cook dinner. Yesterday I vacuumed, including their room. She hasn't said a word about it, and you can tell I did it because otherwise there's always dog hair on the solid color carpet. I feel like if I have to be the housekeeper around here too, I deserve more say in their affairs. But other than scheduling appointments and dealing with the cancer docs, I am not really allowed to discuss their health, money, or how they spend their time.
I get what Musiclover says about GM's obsession with the news. Mom is totally into it. I used to try and talk to her over the phone when she lived with sis, because I knew she wanted to act smart with all she knew and no one else listened to her. When she got sick, she let the news drop, but now she's back into it. I get tired of sitting at my computer and she comes in to rail at Dad about something she heard on TV. And to make it worse, something's wong with the cable and her favorite news channels black out. Tonight she tells me they're out again, but I'm not to talk to hubby about it, because she's not complaining, and he already talked to her about it. Really, I think he told her some BS to quiet her down. But it's becoming a daily issue, and I don't know how much longer I can take it.
I feel like I'm caught in a loosing situation. I don't ask for their help around the house, because if I did, she'd either get upset with me or start telling me what to do. And she seems unable to look around and see what needs to be done herself. Almost like because I won't do it her way, she won't help at all. Meanwhile, I just get more frustrated.
Well, at least Monday's over.

The nurse from the nursing home called to tell me they had put my Mother back on oxygen as her saturation had dropped to 85. This happened several weeks ago and she was taken off the oxygen.after about a week. The Dr's assistant called to tell me she was running a fever of about 100. This is a 1st; don't think fever has happened before. They will do a chest xray and blood work tomorrow. She has been coughing a lot when she eats; swallowing not good and they are afraid she is aspirating her food. They want to send her to the hospital on Thursday for testing for swallowing. This testing was scheduled before the events of today. I am really not convinced that the testing is a good idea. My Mother will be upset by this testing. I just really don't want to do that. I have decided that if drs suggest a feeding tube I will not let them do that. She is 97; she has been through a lot. I know she is tired and ready for the end. I am so upset by having these decisions. It is so hard; I love my mother more than I can express. I hope I have written this in a way yall can understand. I would appreciate your help as I feel very alone. Thanks, Carol

Musiclover....i've been wanting to post to u since the first post we shared about being music lovers. I, myself, have played the piano since the age of 6. I studied classical music from an early age, and after i graduated high school. I entered college as a music major. My life long dream was to become a concert pianist. I remember the days that i use to practice the piano for 4-5 hours everyday, trying to perfect every classical piece that my professors challenged me to play. I studied under a very talented concert pianist at the university in my town. The piano was, n still is, one of the greatest passions of my life. As i continued my studies, i began to lose the passion under the strict instruction of my professor, and, to my regret now, I dropped out of my major. I didnt want to lose that passion that i had always felt about the piano, and i realized that i didnt have the commitment that was required to be a concert artist. That is wen i started to write my own music n worked with a recording studio trying to make demos of my work and send them to as many recording studios as i could find throughout the country, with hopes of finding someone who would represent me. Well, that never happened, but i still write, to this day, and without music, i think i would have lost it a long time ago. I think its wonderful that u have such a love for music, bcuz i have found it to be a tremendous source of healing and peace, especially under the stress of the caregiving responsibilities that have now become my life. I hope music can bring u some kind of solace n comfort under the incredible caregiving pressures that u endure everyday with ur grandmother. I jst wanted to share that with u, bcuz there r not many people that i have met, that can relate to that kind of connection.

When u described ur grandmothers obsession with radio, tv and her letter writing, it reminds me so much of my father. He, too, has a terrible obsession with the tv, and sits for hours jst staring at all the bad news that is happening around the world, n i noticed that it makes his agitation so much worse. He becomes very angry and aggressive in his tone when i refuse to participate in any conversation regarding the negative topics that he is completely obsessed about. He becomes very manic n u can actually see how it is physically affecting him. It really scares me and i try everything in my power to change the direction of his conversation, but it only worsens his behaviors. I really do understand wat u r going thru with ur grandmother when u describe her obsession. It can be dangerous for them, physically, n there have been numerous times i have watched my father become so enraged that i can literally see in his face, that his blood pressure is shooting up so high, that im afraid hes going to have a stroke. On top of all that, it has affected my health, as well. I get very flushed, start shaking, become extremely nervous, and next thing i kno....MY blood pressure is thru the roof. I know how hard it is to be around someone that keeps u on edge all the time. I wish i had some advice that could help u thru that, but i dont. I jst wanted u to kno ur not alone.

I think Cattails advice is certainly the right place to start. I kno it all seems so out of reach, but u have to start somewhere, bcuz ur important and ur future is dependent on the steps u take now to protect urself later. God Bless all that u do...I believe that ur reward awaits u for all the sacrifices u have made for ur grandmother. I pray that God continues to keep u strong...n wen u need to escape...put the headphones on n turn up the volume!!!!! Many hugs

My grandmother had some type of episode after not sleeping for over a week. She believed she was getting messages from God and other delusions, crying, and screaming.I took her to the hospital and she was there for a week. She had many major tests but nothing was determined to be a cause. I think it was a combination of depression (from recent deaths in the family) anxiety (from disasters on tv) and possibly effects of blood pressure medication. She had 2 episodes like this in the last year and was put on haldol and then seroquel. Her eyes were just checked but the cataracts were not ready for treatment and she doesn't want surgery. She was given celexa in the hospital but developed a serious choking cough and it was discontinued. I worry about her being on the seroquel too since she has developed mild mouth movements. (she takes a very small dose) My grandmother does own our home and has some arrangements set up for me, but I am worried about my future too. I do not want to be on any medication because I feel I need to be alert and free of side effects in case of an emergency and if she gets out of control again. Social services did visit once but they didn't offer help. She had a home health nurse for 2 weeks after the hospital stay but had to stop because of Medicare. As far as dr. Visits, we live in the city so I can manage to get her to most of them, just a very short drive from home. We have a small clinic for the uninsured that can help me when i need it. My grandma can be calm at times, but she gets angry when she feels that I monitor her too closely. Thanks for posting, cattails.

Musiclover..cattails had some good suggestions. Especially about talking to ur local area on aging. As well as taking care of yourself.

Musiclover: I had a couple of thoughts while reading over your posts. First of all, I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Not only are your concerned and trying to care for your Grandmother, but you have depression and anxiety and, as a result, are fearful of driving and being too far from home.

Your Grandmother has vision problems and your mentioned you thought they were due to cataracts and medication. You also mentioned that some time back your Grandmother had a breakdown and had to be hospitalized. Can you tell us more about that?

It seems to me like both of you could benefit from some medication. I know you are not working, but maybe your grandmother could cover the cost of a your prescription. If you could get your depression and anxiety addressed, it would make living with GM easier. Also, your GM can have cataract surgery and it would be covered by Medicare. If she could improve her vision, and get some medication to help her anxiety, maybe she would calm down and be happier.

I know there are stumbling blocks to what I am suggesting, transportation being one of them. There has to be a way. Can you call your local Area on Aging and explain that you need a volunteer to get you to doc appointments. A local senior center might also have volunteers. Ask around and maybe you can get directed to the right help.

My concern is what will happen to you when your Grandmother eventually passes away? I don't know if your Grandmother owns the house/apartment where you are living or if she has any money in the bank, but if not, what are you going to do?

I think it is wonderful that you are with Grandmother, but can you also see this time as an opportunity to plan for your future. It would be wonderful if you could get your depression and anxiety under control. That would be a big step. Have you ever contacted Social Services or Mental Health and explained your situation and that you can't work because you can't leave Grandmother and that you have no funds for addressing your own medication needs.

If you can just get one thing accomplished for your own well being, it will lift your spirits. I know it's hard when you spend time in the black hole, but this is your life we are talking about. Can you make a list of what you need to accomplish to be ready for a future. Tackle the medication issues first and then tackle the next thing.

Please don't think I am criticizing you. That is not my intention at all. I'm just concerned for your future and your ability to someday live on your own.

Sending you white light and best wishes. Cattails.

Hi to all, venting again. My grandmother and I argue just about every morning because she feels the need to write religious and political letters to the local newspaper. Whenever she hears radio or tv news, something upsets her and she feels compelled to write. I have tried to limit her time hearing news but she Insists on doing what she wants. I have tried to explain that this is not healthy for her (or me). She wishes I would help her with her letters but I refuse to encourage her obsession on the same issues she has been fighting for 50+ years. The things she does affects me because we live together. The only peace I get is when she goes to bed. Then I worry if she can't sleep, will she get up and turn on the radio or re-read her books again? If she can't sleep, she can get even more emotional and irritable. If she can't sleep, I can't sleep.
I worry that when we need groceries, I have to leave her alone. Driving is a major fear for me too. Ugh I wish I had family or friends nearby that could help give me a break. She won't accept outside help and wants me to back off and leave her alone to write. I am so lost about what to do next. There is so much tension in the house...it's awful.

Bee great to hear from you-great on the lost lbs. I put myself on a diet and have lost 14 lbs. and when I get back from vac. I plan to lose more but it is a good feeling to get into old clothes-at one of my HS reunions a class mate said I was fat of course in HS I weighted 92 lbs.

Thanks Judy. In order for that to work (reverse) it, I must really mean it in from the heart. Although I'm feeling really really bad about it, I'm still angry with them all. I'm still trying to disassociate myself from the fam. Until then, I can stand by that sliding door and wish it 20 times, and it won't work. It must come from my heart. Maybe, I will break my rule about praying to God, and ask Him for forgiveness for ...cursing people. Then, I will do that AA prayer (from ladee's advice) for about 2 weeks, praying the opposite of my original wish. If I pray about it long enough, maybe it will also enter my heart. Then, I can go and say it 3 times at the sliding door. Bummer, when superstitious beliefs interferes with modern beliefs...and don't forget...religious beliefs...Thanks, Judy!!!

no Bookworm, you didn't bring this on. It's just a coincidence. I do believe things happen for a reason. Maybe this will open their eyes to the fact that families need each other when things aren't going just how we planned.Maybe now they will see that maybe they should of helped you. Maybe now they will see how it feels to need help themselves!!!!! NOT YOUR FAULT

Hello all! Yep, I'm still here. 17 lbs lighter than the last time I checked in here and having to plan a mall trip so I can get some clothes that fit. A dietary change combined with depression helped me loose the weight. I don't miss the weight and I think I feel better physically. Emotionally, I'm doing better, not perfect, but better. My brother, husband and I checked out some ALF's earlier this month and came away with mixed feelings. We had a family meeting and, thank God, we are all on the same page for a change. Then hubby and I went to Mom's for a brief visit. We both came away convinced that in home care is the only solution for the immediate future. If we take Mom out of her familiar surroundings she will be in peril. So within a week of our visit with Mom I arranged to increase her in home care. Mom's condition is deteriorating monthly and she knows something is wrong but is in denial.

Caring for Mom long distance isn't easy but having spent those few days with her convinced me that it is the best arrangement for all of us. The new care giver just started last week. Her name is Stacey and I feel blessed to have found this agency (not a franchise) and the very supportive, compassionate director who found Stacey for us.

Mom says Stacey is nice enough but she resents having her "in the way" and "taking away" her independence. So be it. I think in time she'll learn to appreciate the company. I'm relieved because I know Mom is now having at least one nutritious meal (dinner) each day. More importantly, Stacey is a real live human being who sits and eats with Mom. Mom's hallucinated "kids" and her vision of my dad sitting at the table not eating what she has put in front of them cause her great distress and depression. Because Stacey "visits", the "kids" disappear. That upsets Mom, too. But at least she's not throwing out as much food.

So, for those of you whom I haven't had the pleasure to meet yet, you can tell we are in the earlier stages of this journey. It's been over two years now and the decline is notable in Mom's cognitive abilities. My daily conversations with Mom are often difficult because she gets agitated easily, feels paranoid when she reads the mail, and is always complaining about her hallucinated "kids" or "grand kids". The saddest part of my interactions with Mom is that she thinks Dad is ignoring her and "not coming home every night". She thinks he's mad at her or may be having an affair.

If Dad could hear her, I know he'd be crying, too. We lost Dad in 2004.

So my friends, the journey continues for all of us. One thing I know for certain: it is imperative for us, care givers, to refresh and unload in any way possible. I've missed all of you and I'm forever grateful to have found this group so long ago. Reading your posts is both encouraging and difficult. Difficult because I know our journey is only going to become more challenging. Encouraging because you all remind me that I can do this and that you will always be here.

I've done a lot of reading over the past few months. (Yes, I can read again. It's not easy and it is a bit stressful, but I can do it for short periods.) I've been reading the Mayo Clinic's Guide to AD which explains the many forms of dementia as well as AD. It has an Action Guide for Caregivers which I am finding helpful.

To those of you who are caring for your loved ones, know that your polished crown is waiting on the other side. To those of you who are coming back to help keep the rest of us encouraged, thank you.

A vacation a Walmart - now there's a concept! Hey, take some respite anywhere you can get it!

As of Thursday, I'll be going away for almost 2 weeks, part vacation and part caring for Mom. Then our 3 year old grand daughter, Taylor, will be visiting with us for 2 weeks. (Now that will be insane, caring for Mom long distance with a 3 year old in tow.) If I come back sounding nutty you'll know why! lol

Take a break and breath deeply. I'll check back as time allows. I've missed all of you. Carolyn aka Bee

Bookworm, you didn't bring on the bad karma to your family. They're responsible for their own karma. It might make you feel better to stand at that sliding door and say a reversal of what you wished, 3 times, like you did before. I don't believe you need to do this, but it might make your conscience feel soothed. Just my two cents.

I'm just venting...I need to still need clean mom's trache but I'm feeling soooo sad and guilty. Weeks ago, before therapy, group therapy and this website, I had reached the peak of my anger, frustration and bitterness. I was in physical pain and soooo exhausted and it was close to 10pm.

I'm a very strong believer of "what goes around comes around, just as you do to others, it shall be done to you". So, in such bitter anger, I went to the sliding door, looked at my brother's house. I stood there, and with my whole heart, soul and mind, I said with anger: What goes around comes around. Just as you have done to me shall be done to you! Just as I experience all my health problems and have no help, so shall happen to you! Just as I am suffering these pains, so shall you! Just as I have no help with parents, so shall you with your children to you! What goes around comes around, I wish all this to you - my brother, to you- my niece, to you-my nephew (saying their names), to ALL of you! I wish with my whole heart, soul and mind. Please, please let this be so!" And for emphasis, I said it 3 times with my eyes close and wishing with all my strength.

Sigh...my 2 sisters (with their family) -whom I text asking for help monetary wise so that I can hire a caregiver for the parents every weekend (calculated $300 per persoon/month) - No Response from them. But, I didn't curse them with the what goes around comes around curse. I just was so disappointed.

Well, just today, when I got home and turned on CNN - they are evacuating Colorado Springs. I did text them a warning last week to pack all imp. docs and photos and carry it with them to work. One sis text back that fire is too far away. Well, today, they're evacuating them. Now, I feel bad. I don't think I included them in my curse that night when I was so angry. Maybe What Goes Around Comes Around is Fickle??? Anyway, my mind says it's not my fault. Fires spread, jump, etc...But I still feel sooo guilty. I just needed to write this down because I'm feeling so, so bad.

Alrighty then, here it is Monday already, like one day is different than all the rest, huh???? Vickie Vic, so happy to see you a little lighter with your load... I go there myself sometimes... we just get too tired to problem solve our own stuff..... just something so simple can put us back on track.... so happy to hear you are feeling better today..... love ya....
Sorry for not welcoming the new folks, and won't even bother to try and get caught up... just will wait to see what is happening from here..... ya'll know I only have a few brain cells that work, so have to use them accordingly.... one for work, one for my son, one for me, and of course one for ya'll...... I thank God everyday I have at least 4....
Dr's appt for son today, then back to work for evening... will be glad when M gets her strength back so I can stop doing these evenings.... I know, wahhhh wahhhh wahhhh from all of you doing this 24/7.... but see a few of us have to not work so hard so we can be here for you..... and then there are days, no matter how hard you've worked that day, you are here for me.... love it when a plan comes together.....
So blessings for each of you, one moment of respite, know you are appreciated for everything you do...... hugs across the miles.....
Oh, couldn't find my shampoo this morning, had to use Dawn dish detergent, uhhh, I don't recommend it..... WalMart after my day settled down.....any excuse to go to Walmart, that is a Caregivers vacation, sad, isn't it.

Ok..here's some notlike ...
Creative
Resilient
Nurse
Maid
Compassionate
Bad guy..when having to say no
Good listener

Ladee..thanks for the reminder..I know that prayer and in all the hoopla..I forgot! You guys are the best and have pulled me out of the dumps many times you are my family too! Today is a new day and a day to make a difference! Love and prayers

Compassionate
Analytical
Ready
Earpeice
Generous
Inventive
Voracaious
Entertaining
Responsible......On the good days these are priorty... on bad days this is what I bottle up inside
Confusion
Anger
Rudeness
Eeeeeeeya!!!
Grumbling
Insanity
Verbs
Erratic
Resistant...
I'm sure when I have a working brain cell, then I'll do an HONEST one.... lol

Vic-many, many hugs to you. I like Ladee's prayer. Glad you are finding some peace.
seeme-yuck! and oh, so true.
Waiting on Ladee's take on Caregiver, and anyone else who wants to chime in. I am really gonna look online and see if some kind of t-shirt could be made. Hmm...
Hubby's gone again. Praying for a quiet few days. Was at a large family party earlier - everyone wants to know how the parents are doing. The fact that I'm usually going crazy seems immaterial to them. That's why I love you all - you know what it's like to do this job.
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.

Vickie Vic, it's just messed up the situation you are in, but I have complete faith that you will do what it takes to make yourself happy.... it really DOESN'T matter what they talk about... I have been upset for a little while myself today because of family crap, but it just is what it is...turned it over in prayer, God, this really has nothing to do with me, help those involved to have a happy and meaningful life.... In AA it's called the resentment prayer.... and as long as i've been clean it works EVERYTIME.... I pray for the person I have issues with to have everything I want out of my own life.... whatever that might be for you sweetie, and I promise you, you pray that prayer and before long you really start to mean it...and believe me, I have started that prayer is some situations thru gritted teeth, but after praying it for awhile, I find I really don't feel the same.... don't ask me how it works, I just know it does..... and very proud of you.... you are OUR special Vickie Vic, WE care what you think, how you feel, what's bothering you, what makes you happy or sad.... we don't get to pick our family, but we do get to pick our friends.... none of us showed up on this sight or this thread by accident..... ya'll are my family, the ones I count on, the ones that care and the ones that really matter to me,,,, these other people, well, I start to think of them as card board cut out people after awhile.... they don't live on the same compassionate plain I do.... but I pray for them stilll..... it keeps it from eating me alive, taking over my brain and heart.... because I have all ya'll.... hmmmm, sounds like I'm the winner here... and you are too, so, know you are loved... know you are appreciated, valued, honored, and we do give a big happy damn if you are listened to.....We listen to you..... we always hear you... so am happy to hear you are trying something different.... what ever it takes to get you a few feet down the road..... love, hugs, angels..... and more love...

Oh ladee..lok in you settings on your phone..there should be an option to block .. Or call the phone provider and they should be able to walk you through. Love ya girl!

Ok all..had a reall heart to heart today..have decided to forgive ..funny ladee..was reading today and had those light bulb moments..great minds! I was very kind to him and will play nice with mom. Forgot that when I was growing up that we were taught about 'offering up' the sufferings we encounter though out the day. It means that these things we are going through we offer them up God usually with prayers for the salvation of souls. I know you two are right about talking to my priest. Will do that soon. I am taking drugs..lithely help. Funny my brother started to get huffy this afternoon when I came back...just killed him with kindness and matter of fact talk.it worked. You are right that the things they talk about don't really matter..I know mom loves me and I have to just be kind. What gets me is there is no communication . A couple of weeks ago when brother was here dad had a mild stroke..it passed with no damage..the point is brother never called or sent a text in the last two weeks asking how he and mom were. Guess out of sight out of mind... you all are right and Seeme..so wish I could get some real time away!! Not to be..so will take these periodic times with all the gusto I can. I love you guys and am so blessed by each of you. Love and hugs...I am in a better place right now. It isn't about me and I have to offer up the crosses I encounter throughout the days.

Seeme...ur list describes my life wen raising my kids.......now it describes all the bodily functions i do before i leave my house every morning!!!!!!!! lol

meant CAN'T help you with the block

Ladee......BIG COWPATTIE TO YOU!!!!! Now if you could only pass it through the phone.......can help you with the number block.....

Since Ladee isn't in the right frame of mind to do the caregiving thing, I will offer my suggestion........from the worst days of my former job......which is what we face every day:

Crap
Aches
Rashes
Excrement
Gastritis
Incontinence
Vomit
Ichiness
Nastiness
Grossness

Sputum
Urine
Crap
Kaka-poo-poo
Shit

Didn't say it would be pleasant, but it is true!!!!!!!

Ladee doesn't want to go to jail........Seeme's version of a spa........

Vic, Ladee had some good suggestions, especially about going to see the priest. They are supposed to have enough schooling to help with all kinds of relationships. Ask him for spiritual help......because it is a spiritual problem. And you know you need break in the worst way.......you are too close to see how bad you need it.......I mean REAL AWAY time.

Does anyone know how to block an incoming number on a cell phone...!!! Being harrassed by a family memeber and am just too damned tired to go to jail, which kicking some ass is my first choice.... but will wait for replies....
And Bookworm, I think we are all simply amazed at who you are... not only what you do, but not taking the easy way out, going against relegion and family to get help.... Strong doesn't even cover it..... makes my days nothing compared to yours...... sending you tons of hugs,,,, and lots of prayers... thank you for sticking around, we are all being so blessed by your prescense here...... you are just amazing.....
And Notlike, am still thinking about what my letters are going to stand for.... I am a tad stressed today with this family shit, so maybe i will wait until tomorrow, mine would be really really ugly right now...... where us my steam coming from the ears emoticon when I need it.... love ya'll.