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Lildeb, I was completel thur menopause by the time I was 50!!!!Kept trying to tell Dr's I was in menopause in my early 40's, Dr's thought I was too 'young'... well, I wasn't....didn't take HRT as I am a smoker, just gutted it out and happy to say for over 12 years now, none of that monthly stuff to deal with..
No Stormy, S didn't shake his money maker yesterday, he gets very antsy when M isn't there as the day progresses... she had problems with her transfusions yesterday, they had to stop them and give her something for nausea and vomiting and she started running fever with chills... this happens sometimes.... So it was a very long day for her....very weak when she got home.. finally got her in bed and settled, told the daughter to take S for a few hours, and let her sleep... daughter was not happy with that request, but she did it..... have to go in for a few hours today, and then I am coming home and sleeping the rest of the day.... it's that kind of tired where you know sleep isn't going to help... we all know what that is.....at some point we just hit a wall and move like robots.....
Went to bed when I finally got home and now I'm awake, not good... but will try to catch a few more zzzz's then go do this all over again.... we are like hamsters in a wheel.....
more later, hopefully... love ya'll, and sorry I haven't had time or energy to get caught up with everyone.... prayers for everyone...... hugs
t
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I did have a little victory yesterday though. After 2 years of trying, I finally got her to the podiatrist to get her toenails trimmed up! She hasn't been able to see her feet in years, due to loss of vision. She is a little petite 4'10" lady, size 4 1/2 (AAA) shoe. Always had pretty feet. When I tried to tell her her nails were changing and impossible for me to trim, she thought I was crazy. She thinks she trims them every week, but no one does. At her check up at her reg dr, I said I had to use the bathroom & went back to talk to the nurse. Asked her if they could pretend to do a routine foot check, something they always check for at this age. I insisted that they not mention that I had said anything ( due to the last time I tried this, the dr started his conversation with " your daughterinlaw says...") , because she would disreguard the whole conversation, if they did. I was so amazed how well they performed! The nurse did such a good job lying that it kind of scared me. lol, but they got her to allow her shoes & socks to be taken off for a routine , 95 yr old check! It was obvious she had nail fungus & he recommended a podiatrist. She was surprised but if the dr says it , it has to be true! I wish I had done it 2 years ago

So yesterday we visited the podiatrist, her nails look great & she qualifies to go every 10 weeks, pd by medicare! The best part is she likes him! By the way her imaginary beautiful feet were diagnosed with nail fungus, bunions, hammer toe, a painful condition of the ball of the foot & a circulatory condition. The best news for me...no home care needed!!! I don't have to touch them again!!! I feel much better..
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Hello everyone! I haven't posted for a while. Catherine had a serious bout with Afib a few months ago. She has bounced back again! The most resilient 95 yr old ever! She's leveled off on her meds after a couple of changes. A little slower but each day she's getting her power back! Sadly when she feels worse, my day goes a lot easier. She can hardly see or hear, feel,or remember anything for 3 minutes,, but she thinks she can go through the files and shred papers! The hardest thing now is figuring out if she's really hungry or just trying to trick us into eating because she doesn't think I take good enough care of her son. I get so tired of hearing " but what are you going to feed HIM! I have less joy in cooking for him, because I feel bossed around by her to do it! Blahhhh!
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stormy, the man cave is fine and I'm enjoying my new lap top with Windows 7.

My wife is doing better since her psychiatrist increased her level of wellbutrin for depression.

Someone mentioned earlier about stress and hormones. I can testify to that too for my endocrinologist has had to increase my dose of androgel to keep my testosterone level normal. The various meds that I'm on have made it necessary to take more B-12 and Folic Acid. So far this week, I've had 3 good days with 2 depressed days. This is an improvement over other weeks.

We bombed the house today for bugs but were not totally successful. I think we have some water bugs that survived and must find a way to get rid of.
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Lildeb: Nothing about you and what you are experiencing is off topic. Sounds like you are entering that stage of life. Could be that you noticed small changes earlier, but now you are missing full cycles. Hot flashes at night are a definite indicator too.

It may take a while before your estrogen level drops substantially. When you are ready, I think you should see your GYN. Remember that you are under stress too with your MIL, and often hormones diminish more quickly under stress, so that could be escalating things. Given the medical issues you have to keep in mind, I'm hesitant to recommend anything, but Flaxseed can be helpful. Whatever you do, make sure that your other docs are in the loop to any changes you make in medications or supplements.

You live in a warm climate. I use to and then moved to Washington state. Big difference in how I felt. No hot flashes after I moved here. Keep a fan in your bedroom at night to help keep you cool.

Big hugs my friend. Sending love, fans, and flax seed. Cattails.
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Lil deb- My sister is your age she will be 48 in dec. and she has been getting more short tempered and missing cycles for the last 6 months and getting really flushed in the face is what she says and she has been thinking the same thing pre-menopausing, so she goes to a dr a new dr cause she hasn't been to one in about 20 yrs. And this is just a general drs office but they do a little bit of it all. She tells the dr what her symptoms are and the dr thinks too that she is in the early stages of menopause. So that could be it whats bothering you. Hope this helps.
Cmag- Glad that you had a better day with your mom. How's the man cave these days? And the wife?
Ladeee- Hey there wildchild. How's our Sonny man doing? Has he been shakin his money maker today? lol.
Jam- How is target doing these days?
Welcome Newcomers- You have found a home away from home!!!!! Hope you like it here!!!
Bookworm- Dad has not always done the clicking sound and burping right afterwards, it's just been in the last 6 or 7 months. It's like he done it one time and it was on after that. Been doing it ever since. My brother and i were talking about it one day the clicking and burping and my brother had me rolling laughing cause he said that it sounded like dad was calling a horse with the clicking sound. That's what it sounds like. I have no idea why he does it or if it is coming from swallowing air, the pleural effusion, or if it has just become a habit for him. But it sure is aggravating.
Well not much went on today dad is still the same. I was soo ready to get outta there today. Dad fell asleep and i left him a note telling him i was going to pick up connor at daycare and i got outta there. Some days over there it seems like the clock has stopped. Well i hope all of ya'll have a good weekend. Love and hugs stormyyy
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Okay this is way off topic but I need to know. What if you think you r 'menopausing' and how many cycles u must not have n which doctor should you let know? Diabetic, GYN, Kidney, Heart or Family doctor that is not up to par of my health for I am too busy seeing all these other specialist. Or do I say anthing for right now? I am going on my second month once without a cycle once this month is gone. I have not been exposed. I seem fine, I do get a bit irritable-snappy more than normal,and hot at night the most. I already had this test done about a yr ago from my diabetic specialist n I was fine. I am 47 n my mom when she was a live started her about age 48.
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Cmagnum, I am glad you had a better visit with your mom for she sounds like a very spunky young lady.
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Thanks Cattails. My Mother is on thickened liquids and food that is finely chopped.
Today she said she was sick but the nurse said she was okay. Dementia robs a person of so much. I don't think my mother knows how she feels. She ate well yesterday but today would not eat. She has gotten lots of attention because of this swallowing issue and I think that has convinced her she is sick. This testing will only make it worse.
Everyone here has so many problems and I so wish there was a way to make this easier. I'm hoping that a break through or some kind will be found for Alz and Dementia as with the baby boomers, of which I am one, will be there and it is not going to be easy for caregivers.
So funny, never thought I would be in this situation with my Mother.
Thanks and the best to all.
Carol
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Angel, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate n you shouldn't have to do it all by yourself for you have a life too. That mess from your older sister is someone who has no clue about being a caregiver. Tell her to get her butt to your place take on some roles as a caregiver to help her see the 'light.' I am sorry to hear about news of not able to have any children. However, it is not the same but their r a lot of children in a adoption agency that really need parents that r loving n caring n you two seem like that couple withy the roles you have already taken on n some.

Ohiogal, vent, vent, and VENT some more. Alzheimer's disease is such a robbing disease n I lost my grandma due to it years ago n now the mnl has it too for about 2yrs. Look for the blue top tabs n hold your mouse over it n it should drop down with other resources n such. Take advantage of them too.

Today was my 10th yr post-kidney transplant so we all drove up to Newnan Georgia n shopped n ate out. Mnl got her some shoes, hubby got him some shoes n I got me a hat to help keep the sun off of me beings I found out from my last visit from Piedmont Hospital that I am 3 times faster to get skin cancer because of the meds I have to take. Better safe than sorry. Mnl had a great time, grumbled a bit but you could tell she enjoyed herself n that is all that matter is that we all enjoyed ourselves and together. It must going to storm. ; )

I hope everyone is able to get a good night rest...
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Today was a better visit with my mother at the nursing home than last week when she wanted to walk out of the nursing home, get in her car and drive home. Yet, mom told me that she was about to call the police chief where we used to live when I was a child and where she lives now to go find out where I am. I reminded her that I was at home which now is in __ city. What an interesting train of thought was in her head today.
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sorry...rip granny...
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Cadam: My dad had a major stroke that affected his speech and ability to swallow. After some rehab, his speech therapist wanted to have a test done to see if his swallowing had improved enough to move him up in types of foods he could eat. I went to the test with him and sat in on it. It was very simple and my dad was not stressed by it in any way. For example, they gave him a piece of canned peach and then watched via x-ray how it traveled down his esophagus. What they wanted to see is if he was able to control the swallowing or if parts of the food went into his airway and into his lungs. My dad was unable to eat the peach successfully. What this meant was that he would need to have foods of a thick pureed consistency in order for him to control the swallowing and keep them in the esophagus and free of air passages.

I don't know what your mom is eating now, but I would strongly advise against a feeding tube. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but she does not need heroic measures to keep her alive while her dementia continues to progress. She can be kept comfortable and, from the sounds of her medical directive, would want to be allowed to pass peacefully. That can be done.

My dad had a feeding tube for a while and it brought on constant and severe diarrhea. My dad did not have dementia or I would have never agreed to a feeding tube. Personally, in retrospect, I wish I had not done the feeding tube because, while my dad can eat now, there is nothing else that he can do.

I am sending you lots of love, best wishes and comfort. End of life decisions are so difficult, but you have to look at the big picture. In your mom's case they seem pretty clear. Hugs, Cattails
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Thanks Jam, for your thoughts, advice and hugs. I have never shared my feelings in print before, sorta scary!
Wanda, so sorry about your husband, too. I feel confident his anger is becoming more and more often because that is what I am hearing alzheimer's will do to a person. When they become fearful, anxious, frustrated - they lash out, hurting the ones they love. And the teasing neighbor will some day pay for his actions.
Brandywine, I am new to this site - and finding it an excellent source to find some comfort in my negative world. That is why I have this logo of a sun with bright smile and glasses. I am trying to stay positive with a smile, but my dark glasses hide the tear ridden eyes from all the crying I do. I'm a strong person but I just don't understand how a person can turn on you so fast - one moment nice, the next moment attack mode full of insults. I need to find a rubber room, too, lol.
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Carol, I feel for you. I don't have any advice. Can't even figure out my problem.
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I am so tired. Even though my mother is now in a Nursing Home. The worry never stops. They have now called to tell me she has swallowing problems. She has to goThursday for a test at the hospital. This will be very upsetting for my Mom. I really am my self up set by this. I still never have a moment that I don't have worry. I really don't want them to tell me she needs a feeding tube. My mother is tired and I think ready to go but I can't make that decision. I am so distraught; what do I do. She has a living will that says no feeding tube but she is not in a coma ; she has dementia and is totally unaware of what's happening around her but still aware. I need thoughts and advice.
Thanks,
Carol
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Once again I am ready for the rubber room. They got Mom into a NH and w/o too much fireworks. The only problem is that it is 100+ miles from my home. Now sib is doing her own fireworks about that I "should" visit Mom at least 2X per month. See my other story on the discussion page. Sister is acting extremely nasty about it too. She sent me a very nasty email. All I had said is that I couldn't go there all that often and she nearly exploded!! Hello?!! I am disabled and not all that well. So I come here for comfort and understanding.
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OhioGal08, I agree! Alzheimer's is EVIL. I wish I could have my DH back. The real
man not this person that looks like him. His anger is happening more often now. Not with me but with some of our neighbors. They can't seem to understand that they should not argue or debate anything with him. One of the neighbor a 31 year old man that we have known for about 10 years wants to tease him. I have talk to this person many about doing this. Why want they listen to me when I try to explain. Wanda
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Ohio......good to meet you and pull up a chair and tell us all about it......find me a person who DOESN'T think Alzheimer's and every other form of dementia is EVIL and I will point a finger and say liar....lair......have you ever stopped and thought about the aging process as a whole? It's kind of mind boggling.........we actually start the slow downward spiral in our thirties......look at all the years we spent learning to function in this world, only to use it for a short time before it starts to fade. Our hair turns gray.....okay we can live with that.....we start to get a wrinkle or two...okay we can live with that too.....hell we even get used to tucking our boobs into our waistbands and buying a little looser jeans to cover up the little smirk on our butt..........but when it comes to the loss of brain cells we don't want to tolerate that for a minute. Wouldn't it be great if when those cells die off that a person just begins to sit quietly in a corner because they don't know what to do anymore? Instead, our loved one can go from one extreme to another in a matter of minutes. Those loving parents and grandparents that we worshiped growing up have become mean-tempered or for some they remain sweet-natured and unfortunately not a one of us is prepared for that when this journey starts. We all have to learn by trial and error.....thus the frustration, the tears, the regrets, the "guilties" start and we are so blessed to have found each other to lean on. So bring your burned-out self back here because girlfriend you've got lots of company! Sending you hugs!
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I am probably not the person that should be commenting here as I am experiencing a handful of stress. Alzheimer's is evil- changes a person into someone you don't know. I'm burned out.
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Angel......happy to see you here and hope you can find something to take away with you that might ease your heart and mind. You have a lot going on in your life and the one thing I don't see......what is it that you want? There is no rule that says you have to put your life on hold or the hopes and dreams of a family have to be forgotten, simply because siblings are not stepping up to the plate. There is absolutely no comparison in taking care of a child and taking care of an elderly person, and those who do think they are alike, well let's just say they have a lot to learn. Come back and visit with us....we'll leave the light on for you!

The pull-up diapers just fit better, the biggest advantage of tape over pull-up is when one is full of "pingo" tearing the tape is a little bit easier than tearing the pull-up.....and the pull-up has a tendency to hold the pee in better since the legs are tighter.

I'm thinking a nap sounds really good right now........thanks seeme for the idea!!!!
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Angel, I'm sure you do feel like your life is on hold. I, too, was infertile, but I didn't have to take care of a parent while going through all that. That alone is a monstrous stress in itself. If you want kids, do what you must now. And the disturbed sleep...........how I remember........and if I take a nap now when I'm not even particularly tired, I do it. Being sleep deprived is no fun. It almost made me sick many times.
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Last August my Dad had a quadruple bypass. We all thought this was a great thing because his quality of life would improve. Well almost a year later and he can no longer do much for himself. He is very unbalanced and has fallen at least 20 times in the last year. He now has to use a walker and even with that can only walk a couple of feet. He is incontinent which is very tough. His mind has slipped as well and he doesn't remember how to do things safely or sometimes even what a phone is. For the first 6 months my sister and I lived with him (away from our families) to take care of him. Once we realized he wasn't getting better we came up with a plan to sell our houses and buy 2 new houses. We came up with this plan in January. It is now June and we have sold both our houses and my husband and I bought a house with a handicap addition for my Dad to live in. My sister bought our childhood home about a mile away so she could be close to help out. Right now I am feeling burnt out! The majority of the care giving is done by me. There are many nights of disturbed sleep because he had an accident. Every morning I wake up to having to change him and strip the bed. I have very little time to myself and my life has totally changed. I know I am blessed and I am thankful for what we have been able to do for my Dad but it is hard! Prior to this happening my husband and I found out we were infertile and were trying alternative methods to have a baby. Now that no longer seems like a possibility. My older sister told me that my younger sister has it just as hard as me because she has a child to care for. I haven't found the energy to talk to her since. I am glad to see I am not alone and grateful for the stories I have read that give me hope.
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Bookworm, got the pull ups, it will feel more like regular underwear to him, even tho they are a little thicker.... can't wait to see how well he did last night.... gotta run.... will try to get caught up with everyone this weekend.... love and hugs to ya'll.
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Stormy, I think there's a connection of his clicking noise and the burping afterwards. If he's clicking the noise while swallowing air from the mouth, this will cause air in his stomach and then it comes back up as burping. Similar like I avoid chewing gum because I don't know how to chew it and NOT swallow air. When I chew gum, I just keep burping for a long time.
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ladee...just wondering if you got S the Depend "pull-ups"..I buy the other Depends which you tape the sides together. I was at the check-out counter when this elderly asked me about it. She doesn't like the pull-ups. She prefers the ones with the tapes. Since I don't wear it, I'm not sure what's the difference. Yeah, treasure as much as you can with S. I try to remember the "old" mom and not the new one.
Stormy...when my dad first got home from the hospital, he made these really terrible, irritating clicking of his mouth. I just hated it. Drove me crazy. And he was burping a lot too. But this just lasted for several weeks. I'm not familiar with all your dad's problems, but do you think maybe too long on one of his meds or combining several meds at one time that's causing the gas? Do you think a hot pad (or heating pad) on his stomach will help push out all that air/gas inside of him? When my Gerd acts up, I can't stand drinking water. It made my gas worse. Hard to say....
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Hey everybody. Thanks for all the advice on the sugar. I don't drink enough water. Hardly any, it's either tea with equal, coffee or mt dew. I need to do better about drinking some water. The sugar drops were not that bad today I just kept eating or snacking on peanuts every few hours to keep it up.
JoJo- so sorry to hear about your gma. I will keep u in my prayers.
Ladee- Sonny man is lucky to have you to look after him. But i'm sure you feel like you are the lucky one to be able to care for him. What a special bond you two have. And i'm sure that was priceless seeing him shake his money maker. lol
Nothing new on dad-same stuff different day. The constant coughing and burping is raking on my nerves this week. I do not know why he is burping all the time. And he started making this clicking sound with his mouth and then he will burp afterwards. I can deal with the coughing but that burping all the time is annoying. Maybe ya'll know something about it that i don't. Well gotta go to bed 5:45 is going to come early in the morning. Huh.... Ready for my saturday off. Love and hugs to all of ya'll thanks again for the advice. Stormyyy
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I have always been taught by a diabetic specialit that, if I am having a low, that to treat it with a fast rapid drink like 1.4 c of cola or a 3-4 oz glass of juice or 2 glucose tabs n check after 15-20 minuets. n repeat if it hasn't with up. I really don't think that little of juice or cola is going to have that much of an impact on the brain. Protein with fruit is great as for a snack but, it will take too long to correct a low sugar if she is having one n that is why I mention juice or soda. I am glad that you r going to get it check out.
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Hey ya'll, had to share about the fun we had tonight entering into this new phase..... I had to make it fun, as much for me as for him.... I didn't make a big deal out of it, like we do this everynight.... he got a little aggitated when he pulled them up, I said, "oh you've fussed about this before, we'll see if we can find some that are thinner"... then I put pj bottoms on him.... again , something new....so I said, Ok this is where you shake that money maker... and he laughed. i was dancing all over the bedroom and tell him to shake it S, shake it... he started doing a little dance and I thought i was going to loose it.... bless his precious heart....so after we put his slippers on, I said let go show M how we shake our money makers...... and off down the hall we went, him holding my hand... when we got in there, I said, "ok, lets show what we can do." I started singing Shake that money maker,and ya'll he started dancing... picking those feet up and dancing around... even M was laughing.... a great great memory.....he asked me about why he had pj's on, I said to keep your chicken legs warm.... and he relaxed..... It could have been a bad thing tonight, but it didn't have to be...... and it wasn't... he may be giving M a hard time right now, but it is a memory I will cherish until the day I die... thanks for letting me share my "moment' with S.......
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My eyes are burning, so tired. I "liked" your posts, not so much commenting tonight.
Prayers for S, JoJo, and Purplerain.
TG tomorrow's Friday.
Goodnight and better tomorrows.
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