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Love ya Vickie Vic, know this is hard on you... but glad to hear dad is alert... as much as it hurts you to see him in bed, I'm sure he is more comfortable there... and in some ways a little easier to care for him... sending you lots of love and hugs.... you are always in my prayers.....
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Morning all..pray today is a good one. Dad stayed in bed most of the day yesterday..but seemed fairly alert when he finally got up. So another day in the life..
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Hey Ladee: My day was pretty much the same. Feed my dad, wipe his butt, listen to babble....like this morning, I go to get him out of his chair to bring him to the kitchen for breakfast. I bring the walker over to him and he says, :"What's that?" Eh?
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Hey Cattails, how was your day? Oh and my son doesn't have a new found sense of humor, he's always been goofy, that's why he didn't get into trouble when he was younger, he could make me laugh and forget what he was in trouble for....Not going to be anything quick about his recovery, but he's getting there... one more surgery and then hopefully he'll be done... He's been thru alot the last few months.... he'll be getting his daughter for a few weeks here soon, that will help him alot.... she is the love of his life... and mine too, but she's an awful lot like her Granny, much to my son's dismay,,, don't ya love Karma..... hugs...
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Ladee-He is feeling some better. I posted last night about what all they did at the hospital and what tests they ran. We should hear some results about what the fluid showed at his next drs appt which is june 6th. Much love and hugs to all. Stormyyy
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after i post there are so many more I cant remb. very good & only 40 ....
Congrats on the graduation Hope you have a great time they grow up so fast..
night all...HUGS
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notlikemom as I fiannley fall into bed after the wonderful game which rained whole game thank god I took my umbrella & my hubby went & daughters friend . I had a hoodie on and could of cared less. Rained so bad of corse they cancel the next game reason was field to wet!!!! ya think!! I got hugs from my daughters friends they all have pretty much been on same team since tball. where they havent seen me much & coach was talking about concessions & she said we need parents for Mon. She looked at me said her older girl had a late game so she would help & if I knew anyone that wanted to like a teenager but she knew I couldnt & not to mention has came & take my daughter who is 10 to all practices. which they drive right by our home in country to get to the little town like 2 miles from us..
ladee hold in there...
wondering sounds like were in alot of same issues...
couldnt of said it better better tommorrows...you didnt think i was going to vent .
ok sister n law txt said bringing mom food ...Brings her Giant BEAN Burritto...My MIL has had colostomy had it reversed in Feb. (REALLY)
HOPE its not a long night.....
Burned Im not going to trade the rain for heat ouch....
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Ladee: you forgot Cattails!!!!!!!!!!! You are an amazing woman and I am sending you white light. Glad your son has a new found sense of humor. Wish him the swiftest recovery. Hang in there. Love, Cattails
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the egg did fry some but most of it stuck to the asphalt...been having a hard day with my son tho and my husband still has his gander up on something. He still gets confused and his comprehension. There is no way out of it... i got pay off the govt still waiting on more advice etc...still trying to get the printer to print my taxes so i can mail them... plus i havent call home in awhile but too late in the evening now.
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Vickie Vic, we are missing you..... love and hugs...
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gmandsam, congrats to your daughter. What a proud moment for you... hope you didn't let everyone steal your joy... and I have found that if someone is told NO, the earth does not tilt on its axis...... and those kids, tell 'em to find somethig to do, you are not the cruise director and you can find them chores to do if not...... worked good with my kids and is working with my grandkids, amazing how fast they will find something to do.... hope you had an awesome time with your daughter.... come back and visit, as Jam says, we'll leave the light on for ya'...
Wondering, like Notlike suggested, breathe... I find myself holding my breath all the time, then wonder why I am tired all the time... guess taking care of two old folks and the kid with all the broken bones might contribute a tad to the tiredness too.... naaaa, they all think I'm Superwoman.... NOT.... come back and visit, light is left on for everyone.....
Notlike, glad you enjoyed the gym.....but I bet it helps with your stress level. on your feet all day at work, then coming home to Aunt Mom, yeah, but that's why I smoke.... no gym for me... cigs will do it for me.... and no lectures please.... it keeps me from killing people.... what ever it takes, right?
M didn't blow a gasket when I told her I would be off tomorrow.... will be glad to have a long weekend, even if part of it will be spent in the hospital with son tomorrow getting his MRI,,, we already know the Dr is going to do a complete rework of the knee..... I know my son is so ready for this to be over with.... he got an extention for his crutches to hold up his broken right arm... Monday the staples come out and hopefully it is healing well and he won't be feeling quite so hampered and can get around better..... helped him wash his hair tonight... he is so funny, had me laughing so hard I had to pee.... as I'm leaving, he opens one slat on the blind and all I could see was his eyes.... and he's yelling , "mama don't leave, mama, mama, please don't leave me here".... He's never called me mama, always mom, so that made it even more funny.... he's doing so much better than I ever would in the same situation....
Beck, hope you are feeling a little better today.... I'm sorry for your pain and grief.... it just hurts so bad sometimes, takes our breath away.....but the crying does help.... and then we do it all over again the next day... lots of love and hugs to you....
stormy, how is dad????
I know i forgot someone, sorry, been a long day.... love ya'll and hugs across the miles to you all...
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Ladee-You've found the perfect pillow! And I know just where you can place it, then push down real hard...LOL Hope your son's MRI goes well and you get good results. And hey, I've gotten strong enough to handle a hissy fit, thanks to you and everyone here. :) Yesterday's was easy. I have not provided enough info about getting her a new dentist (baloney), she wants to go to mine (over my dead body), and she has no interest in the flyers I brought home for local things to do because it's too much walking/parades make her cry/they have their Bible class outtings. And those were the reasons before she even looked at the info. (Too bad, so sad, go ahead and be boring if you want) See? I'm getting the hang of this! :):):):):)
tbailey-hope you had a great time at the game and the sitter worked out. Hugs.
gmandsam-Congrads to your baby! Hugs.
burned - so, how did the egg cooking thing go? It gets in the 90's here for a few days a year (we call it summer LOL) and I've always wanted to try that.
Wondering-First, please take a deep breath. Let it out. Repeat as needed. I too live with a woman who refuses to accept reality and does not want to be happy (unless she's getting her own way all the time). I know how hard it is to be positive when the person you are around is so negative. Smile anyway. Then scream into a pillow. Count your blessings that you are not like that. My heart goes out to you. Come back and tell us more...laugh with us...find out how funny this adventure can be. In the meantime - hugs and more hugs.
Dad's doc thinks the C-pap is helping. I agree. His color is better, and he doesn't fall asleep in his chair as often. Yeah! Big discussion today was that Mom mentioned last month again about getting their own appartment. As lovely as that sounds, they cannot afford it. Especially when she gets sick again. And I don't want to have to run back and forth. So that's that. He also wanted to know how I will manage it when she is at the end. I was able to tell him hubby's and mine's plans for remodeling, and that were are working on it. Hoepfully put his mind at rest.
The gym was great! I might move there LOL. Did the treadmill, pilates class, and met with a trainer. Now, if I can just loose a bunch of weight before I don't have time to go anymore, all will be good. And hubby comes home for good tomorrow! Super Yeah!
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
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gmaandsam...now your focused on wats important...your daughter. Enjoy the graduation and, again...congratulations. Hope you finally got smthing to eat..lol
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congrats to ur baby finishing high school and guess what we have today extreme heat advisory with bit of added humidity here in the desert except for my daughter everyone staying inside unless we absolutely have to go...were also seeing how long it takes for an egg to cook in 105 degree heat.
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thanks beckncali.... with a few hours to spare til graduation, i managed to get it all done except i find myself starving and waiting for a text from my lunch date who i hope doesn't cancel on me. you're right about staying focused on the celebration. this is a big time in her life, in my life too and she is my only child who has grown into a much better young adult than i was at her age. i'm so proud of her and although it hurts that my dad isn't able to spend this day celebrating with us in her big moment, i am glad and grateful to still have his mom, my grandma & my kid's great-grandma here with us on this day.. no matter how much the old grouchy lady upsets & frustrates me, i still love her with all my heart.

thanks again for your kind words.
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Hi all...caught up on posts..just want you all to hang in there despite the chaos, stress physical pain, anxiety, anger ...we are all praying for each other ...

Dad seems a little better..

Love and hugs Vic
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Sorry didnt even read any post just need to write my 10 year old has a ball game tonight I took advice from my new friends here hired a sitter .me and hubby going My SIL txt me last night and said she will be by to put a rinse on her moms hair today after work I said well you need to be here by 5 Told her why she txt back okay nop problem c u then....... I called the lady sitter she said no problem. I Just hope she comes UGH! Ill feel you all in later...
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gmaandsam...first things first...Congratulations on your baby's graduation. What a wonderful moment for you, and, no doubt, very emotional.. I'm sry there's a tornado around u at a time that should be filled with happiness n excitement and much celebration. Try to keep ur focus where it needs to be..the celebration..becuz the moment will be jst a flash and it will be over. Everyone around you that are expecting things for themselves...well..they can wait till 2moro.
Don't let the selfishness of others take the day away...We can't b everywhere for everyone when THEY want us to be. We need to be with the one's that need us the most..and right now..it's your baby...Hang in there..Try n enjoy today, it will b a memory 2moro. Hope things get better...hugs to u and ur graduate..
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"HOW AM I DOING TODAY??"
i'm two seconds away from starting to cry!! today's a big day. my baby is graduating from high school. gma's got a doctor appt in a couple hours, thanks to my mother(who only thinks of herself) my niece and nephew are here from AZ but because they're alone in a house with no cable, no air conditioning and nothing to do next door at grandma's house they are bored and want to hang out with me or in my room.

my kid called and said graduation practice is over & needed to be picked up so i jumped in the shower and planned to drop gma off at the casino for one hour because according to her, i don't let her go any where and when i tell her "my plans" as we get in the car, gma says "no, the free dishes were suppose to have been picked up yesterday".

my niece's hair is a mess. my nephew is waving at me to unlock my bedroom door so he can use the internet. my kid is waiting outside at her school for me. my friend who i haven't talked to in a week is texting me to "meet him for lunch" and now i can't have a smoke because i only smoke when i'm by myself and its usually in the car.

and....did i mention my baby is graduating high school today??
i wish my dad was here. i miss my old man....

ok.... now i'm crying
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I do swear with my mil one day is up six are down. For instance my mil is going to do something nice for my husband (her) son and she told me last night that not to tell him until she was ready and I said of course. Then she jumped all over me verbally and called me a liar that she knew I was going to tell him right then and it went on and on until I yelled OK. I swear she is going to cause me jump off this da n house. Could dementia cause some of her bad actions. She is getting mean as h ll. I don't know how to act from day to day. It is draining me mentally and physically. She says she is ready to die, boy dopes that hurt. She said she does not want to be happy and there is nothing I can do. Any suggestions?
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Notlike, there is no such thing as a 'small' hissy fit... and you know that....it sends ripples out into the universe that cause things to happen to happy people, not good things....I'll be thinking of you at the gym tonight.... just try to keep the grunting and OMG's to a minimum until they get used to you there....it requires sweating, so I'm not up for that.... Texas summers take care of that for me..
potpot, hope you come back and tell us more about your situation.... hugs to you.
Beck, hope today is a better day for you, and if not, feel it till it doesn't hurt so bad....tell your sis how grateful I am ya'll are there for each other.....I HATE ALZ....
MRI for son's leg tomorrow.... I know he is so ready for this to be over, going on the third month and they are just now getting the special crutches for him to walk with a broken right arm and broken left leg.... not too steady on his feet.... I know he will do a little better mentally if he can get outside sometimes....Have rigged up a way to wash his hair and for him to take a good sponge bath, he told me yesterday he'd give his pain meds for a shower.... lol...
M is going to spin like a top when I tell her today I have to be off tomorrow. One day at a yard sale I found this little 4"x4" pillow that says 'It's all about me" and gave it to my son, he told me yesterday I could have it to give to M !!!!!!!
Hope everyone is ok, not everyone checking in... Stormy , prayers for your dad.... I know I haven't addressed everyone, don't have the energy to go back and read... so just know ya'll are thought about during my day, prayers sent when I do think of you....
Onward thru the fog.... hugs across the miles...
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potpot-welcome, and please keep coming back. It sounds like you have alot of stress going on right now. Others here know more about AZ than me, but I do know if you are seeing these things in your husband, it's time to find a doctor who will listen and help. Maybe one who specializes in the disease, or one who works with people who may have it (gerantologist). If you've had 33 good years together, his anger now may just be a symptom of his illness, not really personal to you. Hugs, and please let us know how you are doing.
beck-blessings to you. Even though you are in a tight spot right now, trying to make the living arrangements work out, please remember that we can only do the best with what we've got. If your Dad is getting worse, maybe you can get a paid caregiver for part of the day, or temporarily move him to your home, or stay with him in his. Think outside the box, at least until all your boxes get lined up! Hugs.
I'll be at the gym tonight. When I can't push anymore, Ladee's hug will make me do that one extra rep. Thanks, hon!
Dad has a follow up appointment today with the C-pap doctor. I'm less concerned about that then about getting a chance to talk with him without Mom around. She threw a small hissy fit yesterday, so I'm wondering what happened while I was at work. Hmmm.....
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Beck: You just go on loving your dad and respecting him. Keep loving your mom too. This has to be such a difficult time for them. Your mom may only share with you when she is at her wits end, so take that into consideration. She's at he wit's end and can only take in a small amount of what you offer.

Beck: Here's how I see it and I don't mean to upset you. Eventually, your dad will pass away or reach a point where he can no longer live at home. Your job is to keep things together as much as you can, but you can't do more than is possible. What you can do is love your parents. If your dad passes or ends up in a facility, then your mom will have the comfort of you and your husband being at her side and taking her to see your dad or visit his grave.

I know this sounds harsh, but you are here to deal with reality and love your parents through that reality. They will never be alone if you are there to love them and guide them, wherever that leads.

Just be your loving self. It's sad and you can cry all you need too. That's a good thing. Your heart will warm their old bones and they will feel comfort at having you near. What more could any parent hope for?

Love Ya, Beck. Cattails
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Stormy..i'll be praying for u n ur family. Praying for positive results!! God Bless
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Hey everyone- Dad is home from the hospital, he got home last night. They done a chest xray and found that he had a large pleural effusion (fluid on the right lung) same side where his tumor was. They drained 2 liters of fluid off of his lung. They still have not told us much about the fluid and how it looked. They are waiting for cultures and analysis to get back. They said that the fluid had dads lung compressed so they done another chest x ray after draining the fluid and said his lung looked alright. Then tuesday the dr did a bronoscopy and when he looked down dads trach he said that about 3 or 4 inches below where his stoma is that on the side it looked inflamed or distorded. And when he touched that side with the tube/camera it started bleeding so he thinks that is where the blood was coming from. Also he said that he thinks it looks that way because of the radiation that dad had 2 years ago to the neck area. They done a ct scan and said that looked fine. So really all we are waiting on now is the fluid results from his lungs. And he has a appt with his regular lung dr june the 6th. And he will have the results for us hopefully. The only other thing that the dr said about the fluid was that it looked like it could be some infection/inflammation going on. So really that is all i know right now. Today he was complaining some with his shoulders or across his shoulders hurting. He has alot of moles on his shoulders and back and he was telling me that the moles were hurting him. I've heard of a mole hurting but not several or alot at one time. What about ya'll. If i hear of anything else i will keep ya'll posted. Love and hugs stormyyy
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I wanted to send hugs to u Cattail before i finished my post, but accidentally submitted it before i was done...anyway...must be all the tears of the day...much love to you and huge hugs...thanks again for everything
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Thanku Cattails for ur beautiful message. I know that i can't change the pace of this consolidating households, and i'm trying to think things thru as i go along. I'm afraid of the day that Dad is gone..I'm having a very difficult time accepting that reality and i think that i jst really allowed myself to stop long enough today, and the flood gates were opened. I will do all that i can for my parents....i will join Dad in his new world whenever we're together, but most importantly, I always show him the respect that he so deserves, never humilate him or embarrass him. This disease has already taken so much from my father, but it can't have that..at least i can control that. I think i may b babbling..im sry..i jst wanted to say thanku for your words. So many wonderful people are here for me, and we've never met, but we all live the life of a caregiver.
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Beck: Sweetheart, you are such a good soul and I just want you to know I think the world of you. I have read your posts and realize how hard you are trying to make things good for your parents.

Beck, you have a long road ahead of you. It's wonderful that you have the chance to consolidate households, but it will take time. In the meantime, you are going to have to deal with your dad's illness a day at a time.

You can't make the change of housing go any faster than it can. Just take a step at a time. Those steps will add up and move you along.

Love and Blessings, Cattails
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Much love back atcha Beck....
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Ladee'.....Thanku for your post. I think today is the first time i've allowed myself to feel the reality of the loss. I called my sis in Colorado, and we cried about the dad we once had...cried for my mom....cried for each other...... the angels have landed...between u n Bilmo...load has been lightened..Much love
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