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bilmo......has the panic attack passed yet? Sarcasm....no sarcasm....eh, we'll take em all........:)
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*love* my little S Man!!!!!!!!
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Jam, you are asking ME how long you've been on AC??? Lord woman, I don't even know how long I'VE been on here, forever???? Feels like it anyway....
Am going to FB and take a look, thanks AC for letting the world know caregivers are human, millions of us, and no help..... that we do have feelings, we are tired, and leaning toward silly most days, at least in my case.....
welcome to the new folks.... it feels good just to put it down for a few minutes doesn't it.... hope ya'll return and let us know how you are.....
My poor little S, he is in a downard spiral.... he has that vacant look, have not seen it before today.... I HATE ALZ..... WITH A PASSION... it is taking one of the most loving and sweet men in the universe and turning him into a shadow, and he is so lost.... breaks my heart.... deep breaths here..... I truly live my little S Man.... truly do.....
Love and hugs to ya'll. will post more later...
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this was after my 2 hr shift was done ...
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Last night ...i had an explosion with my husband but I was also drunk so that enhance my behavior grossly. I have also been overrun with making these appts and I completely fail to call medical transport to get him to his appt. They also move to a new office. I got the disc with the pictures that they requested but I blew up at him because he won't listen to common sense and reasoning. I mean almost 12 yrs of marriage and he threatens to leave. I told him fire me as your caregiver then and leave...if you want to go back to state where your family won't help and do not give a damn then go. I am tired of trying to tell u straight you need to go to the hospital. Then i am one the pushing for him having dementia when he keeps cycling thru the past and doesn't stay with the present most of the time. I mean wtf am I suppose to do...I love him and I am at my breaking point..I am strong but how strong can I remain when I am wearing both hats as a mother and a father. Then i speak out of turn about CPS and shit about other things saying I could cause him lose his disablity. WTF am I doing wrong NOW. Doc wont listen to me and my husband wont listen to me and my own doc wont listen to me. I am about ready to throw in the towel and say F it.
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We had a nice weekend, saw mom today with hubby, did my usual care giving. She is on forced fluids, UTI back again. Swallowing is getting worse, and I thought she had some weight loss, but my husband thinks she looks good. I am there M-F, I need the weekend off to recharge. The nursing she is getting is good, compare to other skilled nursing centers. I still have the guilt, but that is getting better. I know I am giving her the best care I can. I hope everyone had a nice weekend! Hang in there, you are not alone! :)
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Hey everyone....we all need to give ourselves a pat on the back!!!!!! Aging Care has featured our thread on their Facebook page.....we're a great bunch aren't we?

Thank you again Aging Care........you have been a lifeline for so many care givers!!

BS0213......I truly sympathize with you....I also have back problems and it was all I could do to bend and do other things for my mil when she was still here. It was such a relief when my husband decided enough was enough. Does your husband do the heavy lifting and turning for you? Tell us more so we know how nosy we can get.....:)

Bilmo..........here is the crux of the whole situation............WE ALL KNOW that the chances of siblings picking up and taking on the burden of care giving AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. Now that's not to say there aren't a lot of care givers out there who have wonderful, helpful siblings. In the real world there is a care giver who doesn't have time for themselves any longer because they are too busy running back and forth to the bathroom, cleaning poop off the ceiling and not saying a word about how it got there, making dr appts and meeting themselves coming and going, missing meals, missing children and grandchildren growing up, letting their own health fail, missing work or quitting altogether, being ill but putting that on the back burner and any other number of self-sacrifices. Being in a child's home isn't the only solution. Care facilities were created for a purpose, but so often the "child" is made to feel guilty for even considering placing their loved one. And yes I know there are some homes that I wouldn't give two cents for.....but there are some excellent homes that will provide love and caring and the physical side of care giving that is taking such a toll on us, the family member. Case in point, the home my mil is in is the same one my own mother was in. On the national nursing home rating site, out of a 5-star rating, this home has 4. It is clean, the staff is friendly and loving toward their charges, I have never seen a resident dirty or neglected. They are fed 3 meals a day, there are machines if they want pop or chips when the kitchen is closed, but if they want something else the staff will get it for them. There is some type of entertainment daily. Once a month, mil has her hair done and gets a manicure. The difference between my mom and mil? Mom was there as a Medicaid patient......the private billing for the mil is $5000/mo, but there is absolutely not one bit of difference in their care. All I'm saying is that there are alternatives out there and no one should be afraid to seek those out. No amount of crying, begging or pleading is going to bring a sibling into realizing their help is needed if they don't want to give it. A few months ago I asked the question, when we were discussing "ugly siblings".......just who IS the smart one in this whole situation?

Went to the cemetery today and put flowers on the gravesite's of the col's husband, her mother and stepfather. Then went to visit with the col. Again she was going to show us how well she can get up and walk. Then we told her we had put flowers out and she asked "on who's grave"? Target said Dad's......and she said "who? That's his son"......I explained to her who we were talking about by using his first name and I swear she didn't know who I meant! They were married for 52 years when he passed away....so sad to know that she doesn't remember him.

Hope today has been good to all of you......my thoughts are with you!
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Yesterday and today I was feeling sorry for my self. My Mom and I have not really been seeing eye to eye. She thinks I am treating her like a child. Honestly reading so many posts, I guess I don't have it so bad. God give us all strength for our challenges ahead. Good luck everyone.
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bso123 Maybe you should go lay down right now with your back pain being soooo bad wink wink then the decision will be clear unless HE agrees to do all the care because your back wont allow you to just & idea or tell him she will probaly be better with 2 people or a lift in a facility maybe she has brittle bones to.
I'm so SOrry To hear your having a bad time Billl!!! I hope things get better for you Yeah I know how those siblings are its my inlaws Im caring for MIL. The dAughter & her hubby pulled up with MIL Ice cream I have dinner cooking oh well !!! Im like you JUst glad to see her leaving Feel sorry for him He lives with her lol Everytime my hubby (her lil brother) goes off on her . Her husband says he has to pay for it...Oh Well She is a beautitian (spelling ??) All I kept hearing her worry about was when she will be able to get back to put a rinse on mothers hair...Like My MIL has even combed her own hair If I didnt do it lord Ill Just shut up right now worthless is all I can say Bilmo About Siblings that just come & go or dont come at all..WORTHLESS!!!
JAM THANK YOU for starting thread Id be in bed or on couch all day if it wasnt for this site(Your threrad)....Because of it ive met some great people to...
cattails ,,,burned,,, austin and vic and ladee and billmo and soooo many more.
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Awe BS0213... So sorry for your frustrations....hopes she gets it SNF unit for help
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Ok so about a week and a half ago my MIL fell and broke her hip, she has vascular dementia and has been terrible at home. She was in the hospital for a week with very limited work with her and PT so she basically is bedridden, we.my husband did not want to send her to TCU or SNF because he figures she's better at home and WE can care for her (I have major back problems). Well Dr. Had to release her per my husbands request. WELL we're back in the hospital again cause of a broken rib my MIL recvd while at home during transfers from bed to chair. I myself could not lift her only clean, feed, and help bathe. I hope this time she's put in skilled nursing facility! She's currently very anemic and still cannot walk.
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Woohoo..Happy Birthday YOU! Love ya Jam ..so blessed by everyone here. Stormy so glad dad finally got to hospital ..please let us know you are in our prayers.
Think dad is going down down physically..these last few days he although he is alert every time he eats his bowels move and too soft..can't control. He feels lke he is losing weight steadily. He is in good spirits though so I am grateful.
May the Lord lift us today to revel in His glory..
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I think I have dementia...............I've been here almost 3 years......right ladee? :)
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Morning again everyone! Happy Birthday to all of YOU.......because without YOU there wouldn't be a thread....sounds corny I know, but it's true. I have been here for almost 2 years.....my how times flies. Over that time I have been helped through some tough times by friends who have become very dear to me, I have learned that there are some really good people out there who are trying to the best of their ability to do the "right" thing, I have also seen what may look like good on the outside is actually dark and ugly on the inside. It takes all kinds to make this world.......and I can say that it has been and will continue to be a pleasure to have all of YOU a part of my life!
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Good Morning! Hope everyone has some positive plans on this holiday......

Welcome cougar.....vent away, this is a good place to do that. I'm sorry you are having those feelings about future care for Mom. You've done your time, so to speak, now it's time to let someone else take some of the burden. The only thing I can see that you might want to work on is allowing Mom to MAKE you feel guilty.....the key word here is allow....if you don't want to feel that way, you won't. When they get her sodium level under control, she will mellow out because right now she is sick, plain and simple. When sodium levels in the body are low, water tends to enter cells which causes them to swell. When it happens in the brain, it is called cerebral edema. It's dangerous because the brain is confined in the skull without room for expansion, and the swelling can lead to brain damage as the pressure increases within the skull. In chronic hyponatremia symptoms can be very nonspecific and might include headache, confusion, seizures and eventually coma if left untreated. Remember that transitioning Mom from home to advanced care isn't a sign of failure.....it's a sign that you recognize your limitations, that you love her and want only the best of care for her. You deserve the opportunity to have a life for yourself.....don't wait until you have lost the chance.
stormy......the pleural effusion is a build-up of fluid in the lining between the lungs and the chest wall cavity. It is usually secondary to something else. Keep us informed.

Nothing significant going on in my little corner of the universe....wishing all a great day!
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Jam you rock you gave us a place to be real and to help others when you are here you are not alone anymore-it has been 4 years for me on AC
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Happy Birthday to YOU !!!!!!! Jam started our thread a year ago today and here we are 7487 posts later.....so this is our Memorial Day too... caregivers are like soilders... no disrespect intended here by the comparison.. but we are in the trenches, fighting for our loved ones, fighting with them on some days, we have PTSD, we have flashbacks, we are stressed, we rescue animals, and we SHOULD be wearing camo's.... we have laughed, cried, given and got shoulders to lean on and cry on... made life long friends, and had a few negative words... happy to say that has only happened once....
Jam started this thread because we needed a place to talk about US, to be honest and say how we really feel, yes , and on some days to say we don't want to do this anymore... we can't do this anymore... and we have been loved and supported in our choices....
This thread was a life saver as my lady Ruth passed away 8 days before Jam started this thread.... have been here ever since.... was here before on another thread, but circumstances presented themselves for the begining of this one...
Just can't keep an old caregiver down.... many memories for me today, good, bad and ugly... so, enjoy this safe place that our Caregiver Warrior Jam made for us, and have a blessed and safe day.... hugs across the miles to you all....
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I mean I am NOT into etc.
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Bill: Glad you spare the innocent and I do know what kind of bugs you are talking about. Make the calls and I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed. Won't do the legs cause I have an aspirin between my knees. Bawhahahaha. No offense to anyone, I'm just into the religious right. Cattails
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Cougar: Love the name. How is your mom when her sodium level is normal? What are her other health issues. I can't blame you for wanting a life of your own. At 42 year old, you are entitled. Tell us more about your mom's health issues. Do you have POA for her and is she competent under normal circumstances.

Stay in touch, Cattails
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And Bill: Thanks for saying you'll make a few calls on Tuesday. Don't get frustrated in the process. Give the folks you talk to a chance to get to know you, like we do. If you want to rip their heads off, do it here and not on the phone. Love Ya, Cattails
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Billmo: Wow 3 below. That must have been a record. The coldest I've ever experienced here was 16 degrees. Sequim is on the Strait of Juan de Fuca and the marine influence is supposed to keep cold temperatures at bay..no pun intended. Actually, before we moved here, we read up on the weather and I believe it said lows rarely below 20 degrees. We use to visit all the time before moving here and all the locals said, "Oh we get snow, but only for one day and then it's gone....it's like a big local holiday." Well, we moved here in June 2004 and I couldn't wait for that day of snow. It came in January and it only lasted for one day (24 full hours) but we got 17 inches and it took a few weeks to melt. Haven't had that much snow since, maybe 6 to 8 inches, but we live at an elevation of 500 feet, not near as bad in the city proper snow wise. Average rain fall here is between 10 & 16 inches, kind of a sun belt for Washington. Doesn't sound bad, but you do get more drizzle days than rain days so sometimes it feels like it drizzles a lot. I lived in central ca for many years and I'm not a heat person so I don't miss that at all. This is beautiful country.
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this is my first time comming here but I need to vent a bit. I'm feeling very guilty because my 78yo mom is in the hospital and she is having a very bad time of it. She had to be restrained today because she was fighting with the staff trying to leave. She is in there because she had very low sodium levels, to the point that they said she was close to starting to have convulsions, and the low levels caused her to lose her balance and fall while I was at the store picking up her medications. Tonight she was totally out of it thinking that she was at her moms farm and saying the people in the hospital were trying to steal her home and everything in it. Well I finally got a hold of my brothers and sister (I live with her they live several hours away) and I'm going to be looking into what needs to be done to put her in a home. I'm feeling guilty becuase I can't safely take care of her anymore and I need to make sure I'm taking care of myself. I'm so stressed that I've had to be put on blood pressure medications for the first time ever, I'm taking panic attack pills and I think I'm giving myself an ulser. I feel like I'm doing this all on my own and am feeling like I'm the bad guy in this.

My dad died when I was 9 and my mom has relied on me ever since. She has laid very big guilt trips on me to the point that I have never moved out of the house so thats making me feel like I'm letting her down while also feeling like my brothers and sister need to step up becuase I've taken care of her for the past 33 years. I am starting to resent and hate everyone because I feel like they get to have a life when I don't. I've never been in a relationship and at 42 will more than likely never have kids. So I feel as if I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life.
Well I think I've vented enough for now thanks for listening! I need to get some sleep now (hopefully).
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Bill: People qualilfy for assistance all the time. Please take some time to call Social Services and explain your situation. You've been taking care of your mom and she recently passed. You couldn't work and take care of her too. You were a guitar player and now you have carpel tunnel and can't play professionally anymore. Your utilities are being turned off. You need retaining for the work force and some money to live in the meantime. And Bill, it's not unusual for a utility company to charge a deposit. The billing was in your mom's name before and she has a credit record with them. You are a new client and they will change a deposit, which will be refunded to you in the future. Not any help to you right now, but it's not personal.

Like Beck says, we all care about you and enjoy having your friendship.

Love, Cattails
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Bilmo...you certainly have valid reasons to feel HATE for the sibs. It saddens me that you are so unhappy. I suppose i could say all kinds of positive affirmations right about now, and quote Wayne Dyer (love him)..and tell you to look at the positives in your life, cuz i kno we all have them in some form..but the reality of the situation is this....there are jst those times in our lives where there are NO words to change the state of mind that we are in at any given moment. When i'm pissed..i'm jst pissed and everyone can go to hell. I'm having some strong feelings myself regarding my own kids, and i'm REALLY pissed about it. Sometimes, u jst have to let it out. I jst don't want this to consume u...living every day with such hatred and anger produces nothing but health problems...this i have learned first hand. I really can empathize with your situation..but i would like to say...as a complete outsider, and total stranger to you...judging from your posts..u seem to b a very intelligent n interesting man. Not many people can express themselves in writing so vividly. I'm not sure i'm getting anywhere here, but i guess wat i'm trying to convey to you is..as much energy and time as u put into feeling anger and hatred..put a little of that time into understanding that u matter, too. I don't even kno u, but ur postings really do matter to me and many others. If people didn't think you were worth it, u wouldnt b getting so many posts from people who are giving advice and trying to help. It all boils down to the fact that people out there want to see you find some happiness for urself n most of all...peace. Don't think that u don't deserve it, bcuz u certainly do. Be kind to urself once in awhile...it's ok. By the way...i'm so with u about the animals!! I hav a beautiful dog named Lily and she brings me such joy and after a difficult day with dad...she's my anchor. I completely get how u connect with those kittys!! That right there is something to smile about....right? Ok..i'm sure u will rake me over the coals for all this babble, so Bilmo...bring it on, cuz i really do enjoy your posts, so "thanku" for that. Peace my friend...
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Stormy..i will keep your dad in my prayers and i will b praying for you for continued strength. God Bless n many hugs..
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Thanks Ladee and bilmo- i will keep everyone updated.

Just wanted to let ya'll know that Dchurch's mom passed away wednesday nite. She had lung cancer. Hugs stormyyy
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stormy, sorry to hear about your dad.... please let us know what is going on when you hear something.... either Jam or Notlike will know the answer to your question,,, prayers for you and your family. Posted to you on FB, lost my mom in May also... hard month.... hugs to you....
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Thanks burned i really appreciate it. We have been worried about him. We just kinda thought it would stop like it has done in the past and it has stopped but it starts back up bleeding. I hope you are doing ok and getting some breaks from having to take care of the kids and hubby. I don't know how u have done it. You are a strong woman burned. Thank you for the prayers. I know we need them. I will be praying for you and your family. My love and hugs to you stormyyy
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Omg stormy i hope they are helping u keeping a close eye on him and some form of a break for u hon...so sorry I havent said much lately but been busy here keeping prayers going.
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