This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Son's surgery tomorrow, one down one to go... got the ok for the MRI on the leg, so get that done, the surgery and hopefully he'll be on his feet again soon, it has been almost two months and he is having to start all over again, and with an added cast on his arm.... the ribs are healed, the clavical is healed, the spine injuries are healed....and his daughter was there this weekend, and I know that helped him a lot....
Glad I had a little break this weekend so we can go forward now without mom being so tired she can't think... Notlike, I think about you taking care of people all day and then coming home and doing it again... that's what i do, but at least I don't have Aunt Mom to deal with at night... sorry....
Jam, I think the " when pigs fly" should be used when we are begging for a break... lol....
My friend that came in this weekend had a gift for me.... a yard ornament about 15 inches high, it's orange, lime green and pink, it's a flying pig!!!!!!! I used to tell her that all the time when she would get on one of her tangents about things she was going to do, and be both knew she really wasn't going to do any of it.... Hadn't seen here in twenty years... felt like only yesterday....
So, any suggestions for a name for her or him... I prefer a female name, but haven't decided yet.... "it" has to have a name... all suggestions considered.....
No cutesy names, ya'll know that will never fly, excuse the pun....
For all of you having a rough day, special prayers for you and your loved one....
Will let ya'll know tomorrow how things went with son.... hugs to all of you...
colslif-my heart goes out to you. I've listened to patients cry that cry during dialysis treatments. And no matter how often you let them know you are right there, how many blankets you get, or how many soothing words you say, they just keep it up. Blessings to you, and many hugs.
beck-I am NEVER going to lunch with you! Thanks for the laugh:)
Vic & Ladee-so glad you both got a nice break. Hugs.
burned - hang in there. Hugs.
crs-prayers for you and your health. Hugs.
marty-Best example I've heard in a long time of going with the flow! Hugs.
msdiva-Wow! New Orleans! And your peace of mind...double blessings.
We get Mom's lung scan results tomorrow. For her sake, I hope they turn out good. For my sake, I'll take anything to distract her. I guess putting in 4 flats of flowers, raking, weeding, and generally sprucing up the outside wasn't enough. Oh, and building the raised garden beds and supplying the dirt. Now she has Dad telling me the deck needs power washing and staining. Not this year on my budget! She doesn't have AD, but she sure keeps me hopping. She left a greasy, dirty stove for two days, but when I got home today, she was making Dad remove the nameplate above the number display so she could clean underneath it! Her priorities and mine are very different.
Good night, and better tomorrows.
Finally I get her in the car and she insists that I put the top down, which I did. My ice cream was covered, she began eating her hot fudge Sunday AND the wind started blowing it all over her face and tea shirt, but she wouldn't put the lid on. By the time we got home I had two alternatives throw her in the shower or the pool (we live in Fl). I did both ! One of the few funny care giver days!
Beck, it seems that you are just out-of-luck for that craziness pass you will have to try harder next time for a burger bomb is just not enough to be released. ; )
Colslif, glad to hear your mom is getting over the shingles for I heard they can be very painful. I know my aunt caught them twice and I am not sure how you get them? I had to make sure to stay away from my aunt while visiting in Florida until all her sores were dried because I take anti-rejection meds.
I hope everyone has a good night rest. zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Today, was actually a okay day with the mnl. Of course I felt tired all day and my blood-sugars kept dropping all freaking day up until 4:30pm. I can understand why it dropped all day yesterday for I was very active but today was a slow n dragging day and I ate the same amount of carbs n fat. I give it a couple more days and I may have to call my endo to lower my insulin dose again. Beside that mess, we did have a okay day. peaceful..............; )
Ladee..Let's jst stick some garlic cloves in that birds backside, and let nature do the rest!!!! u crack me up, ladee..love ya..hugs
Burnedncaringst..Please dont lose hope..Whether u r a believer or not, there's no one that's out to get you or playing a prank on you...it's just life and we all get a piece of it everyday and have to figure out how to navigate thru it. There are moments when we can see our way thru to positive things in our day, and there are days that we just can't...but we still have to move forward. You hang is there..Things will get better..endless hugs to you...
good to hear from you Vic and hope you are well rested. Happy to hear Dad has perked up a little but not so good for Mom....:(
How about a "Flying Pig" for the prize of any contests? Any other ideas? We have the Cow Pattie aka the Prairie Rose for posts ending in 00.
Getting hair cut today.....all of them, not just one.....then come home and have grilled hotdogs with my granddaughters.......woohoo what fun!
Hope everyone has a great day!
Beck, thanks for the laugh first thing this morning, between you and Jam giving us 'pig history' this thread just makes my day....can't think of another forum on the net that has this much fun with so many problems....
Jam, does Cattails get a prize for answering the pig question, come on now, you need to do this more often, pose off the wall questions, but you also need to offer a prize...we need something to look forward to....
Ok, deep sigh, now I have to get back to work, YUK.... anyway, ya'll have a great day, will be thinking of the pigs today to keep a smile on my face....
Oh and Beck, M will make sure those tail feathers NEVER grow back, but appreciate the offer, maybe you can come up with some garlic concoction that I can wear to keep the flying pigs away from me.... oh yeah, it's gonna be a fun week.... will explaing about the flying pigs comment later this evening....Ya'll make sure to leave some shout outs to Seeme, she is home and very very tired.... hugs across the miles....
As for parents..while I was gone mom had a minor TIA..think she was nervous about hubby and I both being out of town. We have a fantastic caregiver who love both parents but mom just worries. She was tired on Sunday last but has been good all week. Dad has been pretty perky and alert..another upswing I guess.
He goes tomorrow to see Hematologist to get procrit shot..
Prayers for everyone ...you all have been in my thoughts daily. God bless
She needs time to adjust to a new living arrangement. Having said that, there may be a need for an evaluation of her medications.
My heart goes out to you all. Love, Cattails.
"you had me at Bilmo" hahahaha..
Lildeb..although your suggestion about giving mom n dad the "real herbs" is quite tempting...I could swear by the crazy conversations I've been having with them lately that their growing some of their own and definately under its influence. How else would i sit thru conversations that begin with the daily shopping list, to the belief that my dad received a Carls Jr. chicken sandwich that had explosives in it, and I had to quickly get it out of the house before we all blew up!!! Hell...I was just trying to get him some lunch, now I'm guilty for bringing a bomb disguised between a bun to try to kill us all. So..as only a good daughter would...I offered to take a BIG bite out of the bomb-burger...in the backyard, of course, to prove that everything was fine...secretly hoping that the burger was my ticket off this crazy train! Damn if i survived it..My job, among others this week, is to hone in on the correct fast food establishment that serves these magnificent burgers, or, hell...I'll just make my
own..lol..lol
I hope you all had a good weekend. I got in another argument with my daughter, this time, making sure to point out all my flaws, mistakes i've made, and just her general evaluation of her mother...a loser...so...if I suck at being a mother...I'm going to shine bright as a daughter..even if it means eating explosives to protect dads lunch time experience. Sandwich,anyone??? hahaha
Bilmo..I never got a chance to welcome you, but I was online the nite of your "need to vent"...All i can say is...right-on...ditto..i feel ya... Glad to see you back and sharing your insanity with all of ours..We love that..at least i do..
My love n prayers to u all and,of course...endless hugs
By the way...I will be doing my Monday morning melon squeeze!!! lol
The first story was published around 1843 by James Orchard Halliwell-Phillips. In this version, the pigs are merely numbered. A subsequent retelling published by author Andrew Lang called the three pigs Browny, Blacky, and Whitey. However, in this tale, the villain is a fox instead of a wolf!
One of the most well-known versions of the beloved story is the 1933 Silly Symphony cartoon produced by Walt Disney. This adaptation casts the three pigs as "Practical Pig," "Fifer Pig," and "Fiddler Pig." In this version, the Big Bad Wolf is not cooked by the pigs - instead, he burns his behind and runs off howling in pain.
So depending on which version you have read or heard about they were all given different names.
Goodnight All!!!!!!!
Beck, lay it out on us for we can always need a good laugh, the good, the bad and the ugly.
i cannot breathe, got to go take something for sinus. uh!
Notlike, I had a wonderful, blessed time with my friends... I have not been this relaxed in a very long time.... we were laughing so hard in the restuarant I know everyone thought we were drunk..... we didn't care... we are all like minded about that kind of thing, and life is too short not to laugh out loud as hard as we did....
FINALLY heard from Seeme this evening... her and hubby are finally home, mil passed away the day before Mother's Day... she said to tell you all HI and that it will be a few days before we hear from her because she is exhausted... she sounded so tired,,,,,
So, that's my update for this evening... just happy Seeme Sue is finally home and happy Cattails won the pig name contest..... hugs across the miles to you all.
Wonderful day today! Went to a huge flea market with friends. Saw some incredible stuff- conversation pieces, I guess you'd call them. Started filling a room in our heads with them - the chair shaped like a high heeled shoe, the day-glo lamps, the mushroom footstool. I spent $3 on tins. Newer ones, but maybe they'll be worth something someday. A Sucrets tin, and asprin tin that opens by pushing the two red dots, and a bandage tin. Remember those?
Diva-ditto to what's been said. Welcome!
Ladee-hope you had a great time with your company. Hugs.
Hope everyone else had a good weekend.
Good night, and better tomorrows.