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Notlike-i will get a few hr break tomorrow...today was my 16 yr anniversary...get go have dinner with my hubby
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Evening everyone......I just got off the phone with seeme and she asked if I would let everyone know that she and her husband are in Maine, at the bedside of her mil. She had a stroke and is not expected to survive the night. They are all doing fine, although tired and sleepy. She is having trouble getting an Internet connection but will update on mil's status when she is able. She asked that everyone send a prayer their way...............
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beck-As practical advice, have you tried writing the coffee maker directions out on a poster board or something? Alot of people don't retain what they hear...seeing the instructions might be better. I challenge you to draw pictures as needed (don't know if you're artisitc or not). As fantasy advice, could you make enough coffee in the morning for the whole day and put it in carafees? Or an IV drip? LOL In reality - my parents have been here over 6 months now, and I still find the microwave screen saying "Push to Start" with nothing in it. Hugs.
Vivian-so sorry to hear about your Mom's eyesight. You might want to contact the Council for the Blind to see what help they can offer. Hugs. And glad to welcome Cousin It! LOL
Stormy-wow, lots of appointments this month for you and Dad. Wouldn't it be great if they supplied beds for caregivers to get naps while waiting??? Hugs.
Ladee-The more cousins the merrier! I want Hand to help me around here! LOL Maybe we can pass Hand around to the best-named cousins! :) Mom is being generally decent, even though I don't seek her out to spend time together. What seems to be most important is that when she does want to talk, I listen attentively and be very impressed with whatever she has to say. I don't bother telling her much about me anymore, like my day at work or whatever, because she doesn't seem to care. Unless she can make a crisis out of it and tell me what to do. And Dad clues me in when he can about what she's on a bender about, so I know in advance when to sound very suprised or interested. I am earning an Academy award daily here. I love the puzzle image - Lord knows all the pieces here don't fit together! And still I keep trying, along with everyone else on this site. Hugs.
slk-Enjoy yourself at the camper. Give up the emails if you want, or try adding things like "He's love some company this week," or "When can you stop by?" Soemtimes, people have to be pushed into behaving. Hugs.
crs-Welcome! It sounds like you are in need of a break and not getting enough help. Blessings to you for taking care of your grandparents. Hope everything comes out okay at the ER. Please let us know, and come back and spend more time with us. Hugs.
brandy-So happy your early Mother's Day went well! What a blessing. Now - spend a guilt-free Sunday doing something YOU want. Hugs.
I had a pretty good day, including a nap. Have been giving gimpy dog asprin twice a day, and he is doing better. Wondering how the weekend will go...
Good night, and better tomorrows.
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At the e.r. Pawpaw had an episode not sure what happened possibly a siezure..bp was very low..waiting on lab work and they just took him for a ct-scan..so now its sit and wait
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Hi everybody i hope ya'll are doing ok today or tonight. Well this month with dad is going to be nothing but drs appts. He had one today with the dr that has been checking his tsh levels. And dr said that it looked fine. He made dad a appt with the dermatologist cause dad has been complaining about some moles on his shoulder that have been bothering him. I asked him did they itch or hurt and his response was i don't know i just know that they are there. So the dermatologist is suppose to take it off tues. Then dad has one with the ear, nose and throat dr the 17th, may 22 is with the dr that does dads stretching on his throat and also the one that done the biopsy. So we will see what happens next..... I hope all of ya'll have a Happy Mother's Day!!! Love and hugs stormyyy
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Brandy, that is so awesome!!!!! I love it when prayers are answered....
And Notlike we have a new cousin.... IT, her real name is Viv, but she says she quailifies because she is hairy, and apparently very comfortable with herself for sharing that with us.... I am a very visual person, and it has blown my poor little over worked mind....So, we are starting our family tree here, everyone welcome, just say who you are... and please, don't give me an oppurtinity to do it....ya'll know I'll take it over the top.....

Thank God today is Friday..... love ya'll, hugs and angels....
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Good afternoon everyone. Early Mother's Day went exceptionally well!!! She liked her gifts and the card. She was pleasant all day and was really with it. It was like she took a happy pill or something.
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As the caregiver for my grandparents i find it aggrevating that everyone else has a life to live, and forget helping me out. I get out maybe twice a month for about 4 hours each time :-(
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Ladee, You always make me laugh. I am hairy enough to be IT. I'm fair skinned used to be blonde with bluish green eyes. I have black hair growing everywhere LOL! I cant believe I'm putting it out there, but I almost spit out my coffee when I read that. You are hilarious!!!
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Viv, I knew I missed someone this morning, so sorry to hear about moms loss of sight... hopefully the meds will help, what a horrible thing to know you may loose your sight.... prayers for you and mom.... hugs and angels...
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slkanger, I am so sorry your husband is having to see how people can be sometimes, especially now when he really needs visitors... and don't worry about who didn't like what you had to say.... hope it made them feel awful for ignoring a friend..... hope you have a relaxing time away.... hugs...
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Good morning everyone. Hubby got out of the hospital yesterday and is now back at the nursing. So several hours later he calls me and is worried about his little sack of Melt Away Candies our daughter got for him that he couldn't eat while in the hospital! I've kept people up to date via email since his stroke. I felt better after I wrote to tell them he was released and then told them how I hope they never have to go to a nursing home. No visitors and people forget he exsist etc. I'm sure I'm on their list now, oh well, so be it. Think it's time to just quit the emails to update them. If they are interested they can ask me or go see him. When I'm not there to see him, he calls and wants to know when I'm coming over and when are we going out next. When he's at the NH I go about 3 times a week. Tonight I'm going to go to my camper about 40 miles away so I can get away and then come home Sunday morning since it's Mothers Day. Hope everyone has a better day. I'm hoping to since I have something to look forward to for once.
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Morning everyone, It's been so long since there has been a "good" morning, I don't even use that word anymore.....
brandy, do what your heart guides you to do in regard to Mother's day... I was thinking this morning, when they were raising us, they had no history with us, yes they brought their history into OUR lives, but as we take care of them , WE have history with them.... so our job is twice as hard... not only do we do what we do for them, but have all the angst that comes with being raised, or abondoned or abused by them... what the F**k is wrong with this picture...????? So do what your heart guides you to do.... have no regrets....
Cousin Notlike, you know, I bet we have a Cousin IT somewhere!!! (re: The Munsters) Anyone here hairy enough to volunteer.... this is the best family we have, so pick your family label and let us know.... but no one gets to be the Mama or the Daddy.... the only rule we have....other than that,it's wide open...
How is mom reacting to you not having much to do with her??? That's what I did with M yesterday... I choose to make myself a 'moving' target, staying busy and out of mouth range.... S and I had a good day, so all was not in vain...
Lildeb, get someone to make some cardboard cut outs of you and place them all over the house... if nothing else she will be so confused she won't know who to talk to first....with little motion detectors that activate a recording when someone is near.... I think I have missed my calling... I could make a fortune with some of these ideas for caregivers to get a break....
Golfgirl, good move about the white lie, what ever it takes to keep them calm.... and kudos to you for leaving when it started getting loud.... and no problem about the post... some on this sight really don't like me, so I'm sure they ignored your suggestion... or wished they had 'defeathered' me thierself....lol
BSO, it is crazy making isn't it... it's about them treating us that way because they think it's ok... somehow, somewhere we gave them perimission to do this, unknownly on our part...
Caregiving is just this great big crazy ass puzzle that has been thrown at our feet and like a bunch of dummy's we started trying to make the pieces fit.... at least at the end of the day we all have each other... blessings and hugs to you all, ttyl
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I finally got Mom to the eye Dr. for her blurry vision. They say it looks like macular degeneration. She is blind in her left eye since birth. She has an eye disease called toxoplasmosis and it flaired in the early 70's and caused alot of scarring, then a cataract grew over the spots she could see through. Back then you had to wait for cataracts to "ripen" before they could be removed so she went for a few years nearly blind. Now I think she is heart sick at the thought of going blind. The Dr. says there are new meds they didn't have 5 yrs ago, and it helps it was caught fairly early since she was there in January and there was no sign of it then. Its been a long day. Seeing a retina specialist on Monday in Muncie which is an hour away. She doesn't want me to tell my brothers and sisters. I feel so bad for her. Shes lost the use of her legs and partially her left arm, congestive heart failure, and now her sight. Her short term memory is getting bad. Just had to spill it before I went to bed. Better tomorrows I pray. Goodnight to all of you Angels.
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Ladee, you are too funny and putting all jokes to aside, I do hope your son surgery goes well. I be a nervous wreck myself. That camcording may be a great idea and maybe I could make a poster board and it wouldn't have to be but so tall for I'am only 4'7" and not going grow anymore. ; )

beckncall53, that is all you can do sometimes is try to find laughter in what is going on and that way we keep from going completely crazy. However today she was getting on my last nerve while I at a conference about caregiving and finally called the hubby to pick her up and take her to his job. Well, before I went back in we all went to eat lunch and she was mad at me for telling him that she kept complaining to everyone. She denied it and said she didn't know I felt that way about her.
Ladee, I wished that I had recorded her,darn, another one got away. You really got to stay on your toes as a caregiver and this is just moderate stage. Lord help me. So we went to McDonald. I order us all something to eat and I gave mnl her cup so she could get some coke she refuse my help. so quitely watched her as she filled her cup with grape soda instead of coke. Let just day that, I was just grinned ear-to-ear. I so bad... I did feel bad in mid of eating n offer to dump her drink for she kept saying it tasted funny. Instead, hubby got up and done it for us.

BSO213, my mnl does the combative stuff and just wisper cuss as soon as I would walk by or at the living room that is if I don't give her my full attention. Someone here had mention using head phone sets and that does wanders sometimes.

Golfgirl, sorry you had to reschedule another appointment for your mom. Small things like needed room for a wheel chair in a cab is taking for granted by others for they do not have to deal with the situation until they have to face it themselves. That was quick thinking for an excuse to keep her from getting upset and at least you got a chuckle on the way out.
Everyone have a good night at least the mnl is not night walking wandering yet.
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Just a quick stop-in, will comment on posts when I'm awake. Painted and yardwork tonight, so I'm tired. Hugs to everyone and thanks for all the smiles.
A shout out to my cousin Ladee! :)
Good day today - really nice patients at work, and very little interaction with Mom.
Good night, and better tomorrows.
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Austin, they don't say thank you and appreciate things b/c mother has dementia and narcissitic personality disorder. She has a brain disorder. That is how I forgive her. It is her disease speaking.
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Brandy if you can plan something for Sunday that you would like to do-your mother does not appreciate what you do for her-I do not understand why they can not just say thank you for gifts and I love it-why do they have to find fault with what you gave them-now I just give gift cards to her favorite restuarant-she has been unhappy with other things I give her-so why should I stress over it at all.
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I am just dreading Mother's Day. So I decided to give her some gifts and flowers and a card tomorrow. Sister won't tell me what she has planned for the actual day so I have to do it tomorrow. Mom sometimes doesn't like what I give her and if I give her candy, sister throws it away. Mom may be alone on Sunday, but so be it, she favors sister anyway, so she will have to be with sister or be alone.
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Ladee I hope you don't mind but I suggested on another post today that everyone check out your profile picture. It is just hilarious and I think explains without words how most all of us feel. It's just so funny and so appropriate and I think we could all use a good laugh! Hope it's not a problem.

BSO213, being combative is not good! Are there other options for her? As far as her listening, she's never going to listen - stop expecting that! Wish I could offer some hope but in my experience they do the opposite of what you want. With others, mom is a sweet lady. They tell me at rehab that they'll really miss her when she's gone! (I'll bet - like one would miss a migrane maybe) Anyway don't lose your mind. Sounds like you've been at this a while, does your husband help at all? Is he open to putting her into a facility or is that an option!

Just another bit of info: Today I visited mom in the center. She was having her hair fixed preparing for a doc visit. We were already to go but the nurses station forgot to order a cab - we need one that can accommodate a wheelchair! Therefore, we had to reschedule until next Tuesday! Mom was all set to go and had she known this mishap occurred, she'd have been furious! I simple said - doc had an emergency and had to reschedule your visit! It was a lie but hey - one does what one must in these situations! Then she begain with the story (sp) of the aides, how they are so quick in bathing, dressing, putting her on the toliet, taking her off the toilet before she's finished, leaving her on the toilet too long after she's finished, etc. etc. etc. I replied "well that's all the reason to be careful with your leg so that you don't rebrake it and have to come back here". She went off! I got my purse and said - I'll see you later! I had to chuckle all the way to the car - just can't please them no matter what - even when you agree!

Love to everyone!
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Good morning all! Question, I've been taking care of my MIL for about 4 yrs now with her 247 , 88 w vascular dementia and getting bad does awful things , unsanitary etc. (I always bathe her n have her clean). My question is she absolutely does not listen to me, refuses to use walker with me and now has been combative. But with anybody else she's perfect! But as soon as they leave she goes haywire! I'm losing my mind along with my spirit! Help!
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OMG....Ladee...ur a riot...nothing like starting off the day with a stomach ache from excessive laughter!!!!!!! Love your posts...hugs n hugs
Here's to a good day n may all your coffee makers work!!
Later ladies..hugs to all
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Oh Austin, and some for Father's day too, Iaughed out loud....and I would have bought one for my dad... loved it...
Beck, I also have to be positive during the day, but mine is more like, " if you kill her you will go to jail, think of the consequences.....".... no harm intened with my comment, was just saying some days it just doesn't sink in..... the black cloud has my head covered, so it's hard to see the light...you use being positive, I use humor... it all works....
Golfgirl, don't think it was me that said to make peace, but thanks for the compliment on the profile pic, that's how I feel most days, just simply have had all my feathers pecked off or pulled out.... Think I will use this visual today when M gets on a rant... me standing there just being defeathered.... I promise you if she ever looked in my eyes she's just shut up.... my mouth stays shut but my eyes are talking loud and clear.....
Beck, sorry your day was one of those that never stopped....and the great thing about coming on here and getting it out, we don't have to go to bed with it....just treat all the ugly and exhausting stuff like an ex husband....
Deb, can you get a little camera that hooks on your head that you can allow her to see every move you make????? And ignoring does no good, they only get louder.... how bout setting up a tape recorder that loops "I'm right here" every few seconds....put a picture of yourself by it and see if that works....
Notlike, sorry about the new addition to your family " Auntie M", but there is no way those two are not connected by DNA....And the good part, that makes us cousins.... so see, good comes from bad.... right Beck? Just depends on how many brain cells we have left at the end of the day....
I will be stupid for the next few day, just making the decision to quit at M's has lightened my load....so everytime she says something ugly I'm that much closer to not having to hear it from her anymore... first time I've been able to really breathe in months... will get thru the surgeries with my son, won't quit right now, too stressful, but a plan, ya, uh huh , I have a plan..... love ya'll sending angels....
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When getting the card to send to dear sweet-NOT mom yesterday I am going to ask the card companies to write some that say I do not love you you are and were mean to me and not a good mother at and I do not wish the best for you-bet they would sell like hotcakes.
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Ladee, love your comment about my mom making peace with the bathroom issue! If only we could - I put it on the top of my gratitude list! That will never happen. I keep telling her about her leg - but she keeps concentrating on the bathroom. Honestly, I think this bathroom issue will kill her! Thought about a "head" doc seeing her but she's 90! Might be a bit too late!

By the way, love your profile picture! It really says it all!
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lildeb..I jst checked in before turning in for the nite and read your post. Thanku for ending my crazy day with some laughter. Your mayo n waffle story was a side splitter, although frustrating for you,i'm sure. It's a comfort to know that even in the midst of the insanity of our lives as caregivers, we can make each other laugh with our challenges of every day life. I loved that post..hugs
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I jst got home from "a day"..and sat down to check in. I'm quickly learning that this is a "no holds barred" forum, so, positivity aside..today sucked!!!
I had a total of 14 calls from dad today..in between those calls I did their banking, grocery shopping, and rushed over to the house early this morning because, once again, that fabulous Keurig coffee maker wasnt working right, and God forbid, dad doesnt get his 3 cups of coffee by noon..As usual, i discover that my mom has ,again, flooded the damn thing, so i had to teach her how to use it for the 6th time. To top off the day, I had to take dad to get his toe-nails clipped,ugh...and he peed all over himself in the waiting room in front of a packed office. That was an experience! I got him cleaned up and he got thru his appt, but i don't think he really knows what the hell happened today. I then stopped off at their fav. restaurant and picked up their dinner..scallops, shrimp and crab..of which I cannot enjoy because I have a severe shellfish allergy and that just pisses me off even more. Nothing like driving around with the smell of crab in the car and praying that my throat doesnt close up while i'm driving dad home!! I came home, did sm laundry, cooked dinner, and watered my dying plants. I have a miserable headache, my back is killing me, and the arthritis in my hand is so flaired up that i can barely hold on to anything. Havent eaten anything yet today, because i'm jst too exhausted. At this point, i'm praying i make it thru the rest of the evening without an emergency coffee maker breakdown! Anyway...jst thought i'd share..lol
Ladee..If i dont find the positive in my everyday existence..I might as well commit myself, before someone else does.. It's all about making it thru another day..
Stormy..thanks for you understanding and the hugs..back at cha..
Slk..so sry to read about your husband's health..my thoughts and prayers will be with you..hugs
To all you wonderful ladies..goodnite and endless hugs.
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Dear mnl is starting the crap, "Debbie, Where you at?" It drives me nuts!!! We had just got in the house from my nutritionist visit and I had to go to the bathroom. No more than 2 minutes she is raising her voice and saying those words. I even dream this freaking pharse. She never does or ask her son this question only lucky me. I lied, she did do that to him in the JCPenney store. ; ) I guess we will have to put a leash on her when we go out. As for the house, I have no clue. I just know it drives me nuts and she don't even want anything for she even admitted that she just wanted to know where I am at. ah!!! I can't even take a piss now! I may be wrong but that is exactly what I told her. I don't think it did any good but I didn't care at the moment.
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Hi all, I'm just dropping in to check on all of y'all. Been busy clipping tree limbs and bushes for our house insurance purposes. They sure can get picky here lately and not like the price is giving us a great deal. I mean how often does anyone use their home insurance due to an accident or something. I had to drag the mnl to get all her yearly test done and all of them in one day. Eco, Dek scan, X-ray, Mamm-gram and fasting lab. Whoo hoo. Now, we get the results next wk. Treated her out to her favorite place the Waffle House. She did get a bit confused for I asked if she like some syrup on side of her plate so she could dip her waffle in the syrup. That way she can controll the amount of syrup she wants being she don't like sweets. Well, she mention she needed mayo. I told her that it wasn't a sandwich that it was a waffle. Then she telling me she always use mayo on it. She is not that bad on AD just yet, she seem to be confused. Then I offer her some butter instead and that if she still wanted mayo I would get it for her. Then she tells me that, NO! I don't put mayo on this for that is just stupid. I just let it go and went with the flow....
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Good night everyone, prayers being said for all, especially slk.
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