The Caregiver... How are YOU doing today?

Morning everyone. Same old same old today. nothing new, nothing old. Notlike, I know hwo you feel. When auntie moved in we were all in crisis mode, after loseing mil and uncle, and her stroke. We didnt think she'd last 6 months, I thought her health would deteriorate very quickly. The only thing deterorating is her mind and it will be 2 years in sept. It hit me one winter day, the first year she had been here, when i saw a MRI she had done after the stroke. It spoke of more than a stroke. It all so mentined moderate brain atrohy, moderate white matter changes and listed a diagnosis of small vessel disease. Brain atrophy I associated with alz. but she didnt seem to have alz. She took care of all her afairs, knew who and where she was, what day, kept track of appt. and could carry on a converstion. But she threw 3 year old tantrums and was extremely selfish, and not like her old self. She still takes care of most of her own affairs, but gets confused to them, she uses the wrong words a lot, gets time mixed up. I have taken over her med, because when they changed them all she just couldnt learn em all. She used to forget situations that happend a few years ago, now she forgets situations that happened since she lived here. She gives me her shopping list and I have to play guessing game on at least one item every week. Today she wanted 1 Downey. I guessed depends and got it right. She knows she forgets, shes aware she gets confused. She used to be very cautious about her diabetes, now her weekly list consist of pudding, ice cream, peanut m&ms. i just let her. As long as her blood sugar stays in the 200-300 range at night and lower in the a.m. Which it always has. Like you the mind thing wears me out. The confusion, and reapeated questions dont bother me. Its the slefishness and acting like a 3 year old that does. I could wipe a behind everyday 10 times a day and it wouldnt bother me. As long as they didnt have the ablilty to act like that. You cant spank and 80 year old. I think this vascular stuff is almost worse than alz. although ive never lived with an alz. patient since ive been grown. With alz. the memory is the first thing to go. They have no choice but to let you take over whats best for them. If you get upset with them, they wont remember in 15 min. She is still very upset with me about something I said 6 months ago.With vascular dementia they retain memory and knowledge of everyday things, they lose the ability to handle matters, instead they make a trade off for extreme selfishness and stuborness. I keep thinking maybe we jumped the gun and could have figured out a better way for her to stay in her old house for a while longer. The physical therapist who cared for her back then told me no. It was this or the nh for her. You just never know. I hope every caregiver has a peaceful day today.

Good Afternoon Everyone, I finally slept last night, and am feeling more human today. Ladee and Seeme, thanks for your compassion. I am thinking I need to read up on dementia. Last night I got up to go the bathroom and mom was up, so I check in and she said her back hurt. She asked if I thought if she sprayed her inhaler on it, would it help. There have been alot of little other things, but I think I have been denying them. I feel really bad even now because most of the time she is ok. I am going to have to go get groceries today, we are about out of toilet paper, that is pretty motivating. I'm not sure how well the antidepressants are working, but I guess its only been a week. I havn't wanted to hurt anyone. I was thinking about the suggestion to have my neighbor sit with mom, and I pretty sure it will be a good way to get her to leave. Well it getting late and I havn't done much today so I better get with it. Hope ya'll are having a good day. I'll be back later. Vivian

It takes awile to get into a new normal even when caregiving was a big chore.

Hugs to all... even though my mom is in a safe facility for dementia since December, still trying to recoup from trying to keep her in her home the last three years... can relate to a lot of what everyone is going through

Jam-So glad you made it through the storms okay.
To All- I read through the posts but am not awake enough to comment. Blessings to all.
Another weekend gone. Another two days of back and forth with Mom. Once in awhile she was decent, even nice. We talked about her last treatment, and what she will bring as a gift for the techs. She came and ate Sunday dinner with us, but just peas - no meat or potatoes or anything else. She says she ate too much rich food on Friday, which is why she doesn't feel well, but I'm not sure I believe her. Mostly the weekend was little irratations - the wrong bean seeds, insisting I take the dog to the vet(because docs can fix everything), asking who was going to pay for the garden seeds(after hubby spent two days building the beds and we already bought the rocks for the bottoms), buying me a chocolate bar when she knows I'm on a diet, showing me the big (her word) ant she found in the bathroom - stuff like that. It gets tiresome.Hubby's trying to figure out how to move the washer and dryer upstairs so Dad won't have to do the steps. When they came here, I wasn't thinking I'd actually have to live with them. I thought I'd be taking care of a really sick woman. Fooled me. She is sick, but not in the way most would notice, because it's mental and emotional. I'm afraid by the time we get to the physically sick part, I'll be exhausted from the rest of this. I keep thinking about Dad's cysto and Mom's brain scan this week, Will the results be good or bad? And either way, how will that really change anything here? I guess I'm going to find out, ready or not.
Need to get ready for work. Hoep everyone has a nice day.

Lil...yes mam...its been so long since Ive been fishing I bout forgot that:) I think they have so much denial, and are grieving(maybe a little payback to;) hubby will have to come around eventually. I know my hubby gets extremely irritated when she comes out and complain, complain, since i talked to her doctor about what what was wrong with her, he seems more understanding. Hang in there. I dont know jam may have more advice on it, but when he is so upset like that may be a good time to discuss nh with him...or not. Brandywine... that would be so so frustrating. I cant imagine. I have a couple of siblings and I hope, with my parents unless it just brings out the worse in everyone(and it might) we will all be able to get along. My grandpa is sick again. Bless his heart. Its a wonder he is still around. I cried last night wishing so bad I wasnt so busy caring for auntie that I couldnt help the family with him. He does not have dementia, he has severe heart problems, last stages of CHF. My mom was saying how they were having a hard time, getting back and forth for dad to set with him while the others went to work during the day, I live closer to my grandpa and thought how itd be nice to be able to take a turn setting with him sometimes, to give daddy a break. How unfair it seems that im too busy caring for a non-blood realitive. To help my own family. We have always been very close. What precious time and converstions I could spend with him. Oh well, guess it wasnt in the cards. Auntie always seems compassionate about my grandads illness, then says..".well you wont need to go be with them anymore will you?"(i went to see him when he was very sick one time) followed by "where will he be buried...you wont need to go that far will you?" "The funeral isnt for them anyways"....she is definatley "speacial". I try to remind myself that selfishness is part of her disease. She was very tired tonight. having trouble with her bowels again. Says it hurts when it comes out, dopes herself up with some prep H(but denies roids) not sure if its a thing inside her head, or her butt :)her bm's dont appear large by any means. She did this same thing a couple weeks ago, wound up having some bowel inncont. I felt sorry for her. Any suggestions? Ladeeda...are you sure Marie isn't losing her mind as well? Job security! Auntie was being mean to hubby(and everyine else) when he was alive. Dr. diagnosed her with bi-polar, gave her anti-deppresants, she threw them in the trash. Said it made her sleepy and she needed to be awake to care for him. Mil keep saying she was losing it(before mil passed away). I told her at the cemetary the other day, that she was right, and could she please do something from the great beyond to help. I got no awnser. Shes probably laughing. Well I better go to bed before I take up all the writing space on this thread. The administrators might boot me off for hogging the website:) night!

Hi !!....I hope everyone here was able to have at least a little "slice of happiness" today!....I've been trying to play catch-up....reading and reading all the posts.....It is SO GREAT how everyone helps everyone here!!...
I haven't really said much since my MIL's emergency gall bladder surgery....she is doing much better, except that she does not have much of an appetite and she has lost 35 pounds in 2 months!....I realize that some of the weight loss is from being in the hospital, but not 35 lbs.!!.....In addition, she is now getting dizzy...again....she told me today that she has come close to falling a few times these last few days...and, if it weren't for walker, she would have!!...I'm not sure how much longer she will be able to live on her own!!...I go back and forth to her house everyday, but since this last hospital stay, she seems so much weaker.....One of my BILs and SILs were suppose to visit her today....I wonder if she "pretended" to be "normal" for them???.....She tries to cover-up for much of the family.....
In addition, my SD (AD) got out his electric scooter, which he is not suppose to ride anymore, and went for a "spin" and he ended up driving off the side of the road....He got scraped up a little, but he is OK.... claims some young girls made him swerve off the road.....( In reality....it was probably his slow reflexes)...Now, the scooter is locked up!!....It's hard because he was just diagnosed before Christmas, so most times he is still pretty much ok....his only other symptoms, so far, are his inability to work with money now, he forgets if he watched a certain movie, he will sit in one place for hours, and he sleeps for like 12 hours at a time, he also has trouble comprehending mechanical problems (he used to be a machine repairman)....so, I guess the disease is progressing, and I know from reading here on AC, and also from my grandmother who had Alz, that symptoms can progress slow sometimes, and other times very fast.....This is all VERY SAD for me right now!!.....Thanks for letting me talk!!! It does help!!
I sincerely hope everyone had a beautiful day!!...I thank God that I was here to enjoy it!!!....Take Care, and God Bless you all !!!!! ((((HUGS)))) Liz

lildeb, thank you for your advice. However, it won't work, b/c sister won't talk to me about anything, anything at all. She will not talk to me on the phone at all and only emails me when she wants something and won't reply to my emails and if I were to go over to her house she would not answer the door. Letter writing would be out of the question as well, b/c she would throw it away. So there you have it, no communication. Brandy. So it is an impossible situation.

Jam, you ain't a whistling dixie for that was a book full. About time you shout it out and I bet you feel a bit better too. ; ) I am glad you were able to ride out the storm safely and sorry for those who could not. I don't think I would ever want to live in Kansas for they have too many tornadoes for some reason. My son use to be station in Kansas and he would call all the time about nasty weather and they lived in a trailer.

Ladee, you are only human like us so go ahead and post and scream away.

Allshegot, start planning now to see who you can get afford to help with the mom so that your husband and children and YOU can take a small break in the woods. Just make sure if you go fishing to hold your mouth right in order to catch the woppers. ; )

Notlikemom, sorry to hear the mom is not feeling well, hopefully she will start eating soon. Hopefully your dad's bounces when he tumble off the trailer at least you two were able to laugh about it. They say that, "Laughter is good for the soul."

Brandywine, I would talk to my sister and see if she is allowing her to drive or get her to put the keys out of sight of mom. We just took the keys from our mom for she was lost just down the street one day. When she ask about the car keys we pretend we had no idea and that we did not mind taking her where she needed to go until she found her keys. let's just say the keys were never found. It was best for her and other people for their safety.

Burnedncaringst, as for feeling like you have a zoo, I think we all can feel that way sometimes. Can you try and look at the things you are accomplishing right now to help ease your anxiety disorder a bit? For example, you were able to make a payment on your credit-card and you have already applied and done all the necessary paper-work to apply for the stamp process. I do hope you and your family are eligible for every bit counts. What kind of hobby do you like to do when you ever get the time? Look at the small things that you are accomplishing for they add up and you are only one person. ; )

As for me, I had to get onto hubby again for the way he spoke to his mom. I try not to do it in front of her but sometimes I just want to strangle is dumbass! For a person to be so smart and a educated teacher why the world he don't crack this book, "The 36-Hour Day." He may have read two pages. I told him that the book has helped me a lot and of course this social network area too. thanks everyone. I have notice that I don't yell anymore at the mnl and that I understand it is NOT her but rather it is the illness of AZ. I have learned that to not let clothes in her bedroom that are either on the chair, on the table, on the floor or doorknob rather than in the drawers that I had made signs for her. That it is not hurting anyone so be it. Back to hubby, I made spaghetti and the mnl didn't care for the sauce with the meat and tomatoes. So, she raked them to aside and she was complaining that I always put too much on her plate. However, she seems to eat it all up most of the time. I just tell her to eat what she can and if she don't like it that I can make her something else. Hubby gets all bent out of shape and tells her she can eat the sauce with the meat. I know he worries if she don't eat that she will lose more weight and get sick. However, her appetite is fine and sometimes not but I know she will snack on peanut butter and crackers later on tonight. I told him that maybe she don't even like spagetti with red sauce. He tells her if she not going eat the meat stuff than she can just go to bed without dinner and go to her room. I'm like wtf !!!!!! I just kept calling his name and told him he needed to go sat down and eat. Of course she was crying for that was just wrong. You don't treat her like a freaking child!!!! If he educated himself than he would understand more!!! I'm screaming right now.
I sat with her and told her to eat what she can and if she didn't want it I would make something else for her to eat. she ate the as she said, 'stringy noodles.' that was too funny and we both laughed. I try to tell her that he worries about you for you are is mom and he's afraid if you don't eat that he's afraid you will get sick and I also told her I would have a talk with him about speaking to her correctly. I finally got to dumbass and told him what if I put some cooked carrots on your plate would u eat them. He don't like carrots cooked. I told him then maybe you need to go to your room with dinner. Trying to get him to see. I told him he was wrong the way he talked to her and that by telling her that what would that have accomplished? If I didn't talk to her she would had went to her room and Not had eaten at all. The point is to get her to eat and not force and scold. I told him that he needs to read that book besides two pages to help him understand. Mnl has been diagnosed with AZ for over 2 yrs when will he start recognizing that? I know it is his mom but please, I need his help too. Ah!!!!
At least we got the mnl to walk a half a block today after all that cooled down and he did feel bad about speaking to his mom. He stills needs to read, read, read, Crap, that is what I'm doing and I know Im not perfect and will slip too but I am able to catch myself now since I have read most of the book and have been getting help from others post here. Shew! I'm done for tonight.

Austin, I think this group will be fun, and you are going to make some new friends, I commend you for going out there and sharing what you know, face to face, to help people just getting started.... You'll be able to share from MPOA to burn out.... they are so blessed to have you....you'll have to share what the group is like, what questions they ask, ect.... I would like to do something like this, maybe I'll check into it when things settled down some with son....Am looking forward to the day some of us get to work from an 'advisory' postition as opposed to hands on.... I would love to find a job where I could teach, or counsel, but not in the stars for me I guess....
Seeme, strange how we all do things differently, I will do the physical, but prefer the mental, as there is little logic with Alz/dementia, and I find it more challenging... where dealing with Marie always complaining of pain or just being in a crappy mood, I am less tolerant of those with a working brain..... tho, I have to say, since son's wreck, it has been going much smoother.... I say I don't expect it to last, and it won't, but am enjoying the break from her frowning face... feel like I am with Notlike's Mom everyday. I planted her some tomato plants, can't wait for fresh veggys, of course she had me plant them where she wanted them, not where I thought they should go, but didn't say anything, I was enjoying being outside....
Hope everyone had a good day, if even for a few minutes you found something to laugh about..... love ya'll

Ladee you are doing just fine girlfriend-you are very supportive of caregivers hanging on by their fingertips and also those of us with other concerns-and I remember well how important it was to have others say they understood how I felt and keep me proped up enough not to fall apart completely and I learned a great deal and will use some of that to help with the cargivers support group I joined to help those going through the journey themselves.

I think I got some names mixed up again, I'm not sure if it's my mind on overload or I am becoming Sonny... so forgive me for anyone having to use an extra brain cell to find out what I mean and who I'm talking to..... I'll start making a list again....then I'll try to remember where I put it... love ya'll

Viv, you just said what we have all said, and on more than one occasion.... so you just get on here and say what ever you need to, anytime you want or need to, and we will always let you know you are not alone....My sister will tell the story you just told, but in our case, we couldn't do anything to suit her, she wouldn't take a break when we were there, she was too busy telling us how everything should be done, and on and on... so I started doing my share for dad when he went into assisted living.... she never knew when i was there, when I took him to the Dr, when I ran errand after errand for him, but he was an ass, and they played some sick games together, they fed off each other's bitterness... but she will say no one helped.... I did, but it doesn't matter what she thinks... one day she was dragging her ass around and dad called, he needed something, probably something stupid like cough drops, so off she runs... she no sooner got home and he called again, off she ran.... when I suggested she get him to make a list and she could go once a week, I got my head blasted off my shoulders..... so there is the other side of the coin, but I know when ya'll post it is really what you say it is......no help... so that is when we have to use our imagination for respite.... some on here are so burnt out i worry about them.... other than us converging on Washington as one tired group of caregivers, seems not alot is going to be done in our favor....SO, we come to places like this, vent, cry, find out we are not alone, laugh, make fun of each other, and make friends..... no we many never get to meet, but we can talk everyday to each other, and we all know where we are coming from.....so hang in there, you sound like you have a lot of insight, so please come back and tell us how you feel,
Brandy, I think your sister is my sister.... let her do it then.... you'll just have to learn to not let it bother you when she says you did nothing to help... those that need to control it all, well they have their own agenda.... not for me to waste a brain cell on, I have been where you are.....and you come back to and vent until you feel better... this is a safe place to put it, so vent on sister-friends.... hugs to you all...

Vivian....I am glad you feel that way about us. It makes things all worthwhile. Even though my mom died back in Sept., I know so well those feelings you and Cindy have. My sisters live 900 miles away, and even when they came to visit, it casused enough of an uproar that it took me another week to get mom back into her routine. It was nice to talk to someone else when they were here, but mom pushed herself too much and I had the task of straightening her out when they left. Only once did hubby and I get time away from things when they were here. And I was in such a fog most of the time!!! Mom would scream all night.......and if she didn't wake me up, I was checking on her to see if she was still alive. I never slept more than 4 hrs at one time. I was so tired just before she died, that I was almost physically ill. I actually said to her out loud that I couldn't do this any more. And that day I called 9-1-1 for the last time.

Again, I reiterate, those of you deal with ALZ and dementia have my utmost respect. I don't know how you do it.....with love and compassion, I'm sure, but you are better than you know.............

Hello Everyone, I got on here first thing this morning to make sure Jam was ok. I thought of you alot and prayed you would be ok. I waited to saying anything, cause I woke up this morning meaner than a grizzly bear. I'm on about my fifth day on not sleeping well at all. I'm waking up about every hour going from the bed to the recliner to the couch, and the back to bed to start it all over again. I took melatonin and it didn't help. Mom woke up early and I could hear the clickety click on her powerchair nonstop. It drives me insane. I moved from the couch back to my bed shut the door and all was well for about a hour till she blasted the volume of her TV and had her door open. I went in and bitched her out, and told her I felt like I was being tortured. Oh Cindy! it is normal, I am finding, to be angry and resentful. I am becoming extremely bitter. I thought I was the only one in my family who would always be nice to mom and not take anything out on her. I sold my house and moved in with her 6 yrs ago. I thought when I moved here I would be able to get a job and have a normal life. I thought my brother and sister would help. My sister did come around sporatically, I think whenever her conscious became so guilty she would show up. When she came it was usually about 7 pm and would eat dinner and lay on the couch or get on facebook. She would spend the night and sleep till noon. She gave me presents on occasion, but I began to resent them because I felt like she was just trying to buy me off. A couple of weeks ago, I told her I didn't want anything to do with her anymore, because she didn't care enough about me to give me one day a week off. She is a karioke DJ and performs Saturdays and sometimes on Friday, her children are grown and I think she has the most supportive husband I've ever seen. Her response was to rip me to shreds and say things that I don't think I have in my power to ever forgive. I found this site after that, and the support I have received here has help me immensly. They told me it was ok to vent here, so apparently thats what I'm doing today, your post triggered me to go ahead and let it out. I wish I had helpful advice for you. Just reading about the ones that have it worse than I do helps to put things in perspective. People would tell me that it seemed like there was only one family member generally that would take responsibility, but after I got on here I was shocked to find out just how true that is. I think our hearts are bigger and we care more deeply than they do. Maybe they don't have the level of compassion that we have. Just being able to express myself here has helped. I think I'm being nicer to mom, (except for this morning). I was really sick the night before, I think I had food poisoning. I havn't wanted to make friends, but since finding this thread I wish I could meet all the wonderful people here. Well I'm feeling a sense of relief so I'll say bye for now, and Thank-you for all the help. May you all be blessed.

The anger and resentment, in my opinion, is normal. Yes, it is probably because the family doesn't help. You didn't mention if anyone else is even close. I know I was angry all the time before I was able to vent here and realize that I wasn't alone.....that seemingly petty irritations were just that and didn't matter in the long run. I am also on an anti-pressant, which helped me get rid of the anger. And I started turning things to the humorous side. Hope you stick around for as longs as you need us.

Hi Everyone!
It's been a while since I posted but I have enjoyed reading your posts daily! I just got over pneumonia!! I guess the germ fairy didn't realize I don't have time to be sick! Thankfully, I am finally feeling better and hopefully, rid of this cough!
Here's my issue for today...I have noticed that since I have taken my mom home to live after living with me for 3 months after surgery (she has early dementia), I feel our relationship has changed dramatically on my part. I feel angry towards her all the time and very impatient. For 3 months I did it all without any help from family. I paid for her meds., food, took care of everything, and nobody else did anything except argue with me over decisions I made. I do not even second guess my decision to let her go home. She takes care of herself, her home, she is happy being with her cat, etc..., but I still find I'm the one who still runs errands and does everything else for her. When I'm with her, I'm just angry all the time. We use to laugh and could have lovely chats, but I just don't feel it any more. I think I'm just resentful that nobody else has offered to help. I can't do it all! She can't afford someone to come in and help do her pillbox once a week or run errands for her, so it's me! My sister has come down twice since she's been home-BIG DEAL!
Is it common to feel this anger or resentment, which I really think is due to no help from family members, and I'm taking it out on mom. Her memory is lousy, and it frustrates me that she won't write things down or she'll call me at work for a last minute item which she has noticed she is out of. She isn't living with me any more, but it was almost easier when she was!
Suggestions please!!!
Hugs,
Cindy

Just checking in. Today I feel very grateful that I will not care for mil. Those of you who deal with the mental issues of caregiving are in my prayers and you have my utmost respect. To me, it is so much more taxing and tiring than the physical. I don't know how you do it without drugs, which many of us are on, or without breaks from the insanity. I am exhausted after only 10 days. My forte has always been to see the logical side of things, so finding out I can't be logical with someone has drained me. Many blessings and angels to you all..........surely your reward will come from heaven..................

Jam, no I can't take the keys b/c the aide uses the car to do errands. Besides sis would explode if I did that or anything else, its like sis thinks I am merely the step child, which I am not. Sis is in CHARGE and I am to stay out of it. So I have to let go and let God and pray for the best. I come here to vent though. Thanks for letting me vent.

Good Morning Posse!

Made it through the storms okay....those people in various parts of Kansas and Oklahoma not so much.....5 people died in northern Okla.....prayers said for them.

ASG......did you look at Wheatland park? The last time we were there they had done some upkeep and I bet the kids would love to swim there. We had talked about renting the house and last Fall when I went down to refill the propane tank I mentioned that to the MFA guy and he said NO....within an hour you would have 600 replies and your house would be torn up before you know it. So we had it winterized and it will sit until it sells.

brandy I hope Mom isn't driving either. Is it possible to just take her keys without anyone seeing and then swear you don't know where they are? Sis is tempting fate by leaving the car and keys within easy reach.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day..........

Happy Trails,
Jam

Sorry, should have read before I hit submit, I meant NOTLIKE, you won't get what you need from mom.....

Morning Ya'll, hope everyone had a safe night, I had a long post last night and lost it, didn't have the brain cells to start over....
ASG, glad it was a ho hum day with Auntie, and yes, take those kids camping.... and why drag her along... the kids can scream and holler and make messes till thier little hearts are content.... and no one fussing at them....start looking for someone now to stay with her, so you can make plans for a family outing....
ASG, guess you are not going to get what you need from mom, I didn't get it from my dad, so onward we trudge... but God does put people in our lives that gives us what we need, just not always the source we expected it from... You are very respected here... and always know that.
Starri and I finally had a few hours to spend getting to know each other, hopefully if her butt isn't too sore from her ride yesterday we'll have coffee today....
Have a lot to do today before heading back to work tomorrow, a long week, but a good paycheck....
didn't go rock hunting yesterday, those rocks will still be there when I can get away from here and not worry about my son.... he is doing well, got his Workmen's Comp papers in the mail yesterday, so at least that part is being done.... He has been so blessed, and I really hope he is starting to realize it....
Hope you all have a blessed day, check in and let us know how you are, good, bad or ugly.... we are not alone... hugs and angels..

Jam....All is well around here. No storms so far. I'm not sure what our weather is supposed to be like. I'm normally a weather watching nutt, but for some reason the latest forcast hasnt caught my attention. While getting hubby up this a.m. i saw where they had tornadoes in Kansas and Weastern Ok. Hubby told me to watch the weather closley. It's funny you mentioned the lake. Hubby drove me around over there today, looking at the different camping grounds. We were dreaming of going camping Lol.We talked about packing auntie up and bringing her along. Hubby says him and fil wanted to take uncle on a fishing trip a few years back but she wouldnt let him go. She was to afraid of the water. There would be no way we could. He says later on in the summer we might see if we cant get someone to stay with her and go camping over night. We tooked the kids along and you shoulda seen their faces. They want to go so bad.Can you imagine that???A whole day and night without auntie... Hubby says one of those camp grounds has really gone downhill in the last several years. He showed me the marina and said it look like it had been closed. Its such a pretty area. Don't get discouraged about the selling of the lake house. The economy seems to be improving, and this is the time of year everyones getting spring fever. Have you considered renting it through the summer? Although that may be asking for trouble. You wouldnt want it torn up while trying to sell it. Well our weekend was same ol same ol. Nothing happened with auntie. Good or bad. so thats a plus. I'm getting used to the baby alarm. Auntie dosnt understand why I can hear her but she cant hear me. I told her I can only hear her if she gets inot trouble and yells. She was trying to set her alarm clock last night and had the cloack all messed up. Its amazing to see their mind not working. She was always very sharp. I read where if they have a high intellegence, its easier for them to mask their symptoms. I wouldnt say she was extremely genuis like Eienstien, but she retired from a catalouging department where she was an office manager, plus they did real estate, plus other various small buisnesses that uncle would have going. So she was very very anal about everything. So its difficult to see her mess up a clock. Ladeeda always says she hates this disease. I agree. NOT LIKE...auntie has had eating issues since the winter. I think the dr. thought she was dieing or something.She had lost a lot of weight. She still plugging along. Somedays she eats like a horse, some days she eats little, she has a nausea med prn, as well as a daily antacid. Its really helped. She cant seem to tolerate cereal anymore. I think part of it is in her head. I think i might try to turn back in for an hour or so until the kiddoes get up or the aunt starts yeling:) hope you all have a wonderful day. Hope stormy and family have a safe and wonderful trip to Disney.

My Mom has really gone downhill since the first of the year. I talked to her tonight on the phone. I asked her what she did today and she said she drove to the next state over to see her brother. I asked her specifically if she had really done that and she said yes but she said she doesn't drive around the village just to the next town. We live very near a state line boundary. I told her most emphatically that she was not to be driving. And she said well why not. (she has dementia). I told her again that there was to be no driving and she said well who says and I told her my sister says so. Then she said sister can't tell her what to do. Sister lets her keep her car and the keys are hanging in the kitchen on a nail. I wish sister would sell the car, but you can't tell sister what to do, she knows everything. It just panics me to think mom might try to drive. But to give all of us peace of mind, I don't think she was driving.
Then mom talked about her lawn. She said she is not going to water it at this late date in the autumn. She says nobody waters in the fall, it isn't healthy for the grass.

Sleep well notlike and have fun tomorrow. Still watching the weather channel and it's not looking good for us here.

Jam-just read your post, prayers you stay safe from the storms. And thank you, respect was the word and attitude I'm looking for from Mom. 'Nite!

Burned-Hugs, hugs, hugs. I am sending those cleaning farries your way!
Vic-Glad Dad is more limber. Hope it keeps getting better and better. And hope you get some rest tomorrow. Hugs.
Ladee-You potato sneak, you! Might work, though...And I can't take credit for the coloring books - I thought of puzzles. I love the coloring book idea, too.
I don't know which one I'd like more - my boring old life back, or to be in Disney with Stormy and Connor!?! I love Stitch, he's my favorite.
Mom still doesn't feel well, and isn't eating much. I'm trying not to pry, just to keep an eye on her. We'll see how tomorrow goes. I'm not sure if she's nauseated or having bowel issues. I'm going to suggest she take her anti-nausea meds if that's the problem. But getting her to talk to me is like pulling teeth.
Dad came outside and helped with the dirt. That was good. He also fell off the back of the trailer when it tipped under his weight. That was bad. He seems alright, so we are laughing about it. I guess it's easy to tell where I got my clutziness from. Mom was a pip all the way back from the garden store. As far as I'm concerned, the garden is really for Dad. If she wants to find fault, so be it. But I HAVE to find the right bean seeds, because I am not spending all summer growing something she already said isn't good enough.
Have a friend's babyshower to go to tomorrow. And I need to make up for my lack of a nap today!
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.

Evening All!!

Going to try and touch base with all of you. Sitting here waiting for the storms to finally reach us and hoping that they will decide not to take aim at us, but that may be wishful thinking! Earlier today we learned that the hospitals in KC have been contacted to make sure emergency supplies are sufficient and all area emergency management have been put on alert. We are in the 70% probability for tornadoes from 11pm to 6am.

ASG......don't know what kind of weather will come through down your way. If it has to hit our house at the lake I hope it takes the whole darn thing this time! Sounds terrible I know, but doesn't look like it will sell soon and I can't talk ladee into moving....:) Stay safe and I will be checking on you!
seeme.....Woohoo, the cow pattie is on it's way again! Did you hear any horror stories today? Hope mil is not too bruised from her fall. Enjoy your quiet time. I don't think you have said recently how the giraffe is.........any updates?
starri.....saw your post on FB about the bike ride. How's the butt tonight?
ladee......did you go rock hunting today? Hope you got some much needed rest and sleep.
dchurchill......do you think maybe it's not so much that your friends are tired of hearing you talk about your situation but that they don't know what to say? Pre-care giving, I don't think any of us had a clue what we were getting ourselves into so those that aren't doing it have no idea of what is really involved. I, for one, never in a million years envisioned myself wiping the col's butt or holding the trash can while she puked or the other things I've done. And it's okay to get angry.....it's how we deal with it that counts. Hubby is right in that we have choices but sometimes all of our good intentions just fly right out the window. That's when we have to stop and take a breath and start over.
2long.....welcome and I hope you find a home here with us. We have a lot of love and support to share and we sure like to pass it around! I know how frustrating it is to know that you have siblings that can do their fair share but won't. We make ourselves tired venting about things all the time, but if we don't do that the top of our heads will blow off so please know that it's okay for you to get things out in the open. Maybe your physician can give you a referral on a place to get counseling. If you have a local Social Services agency, they can also send you in the right direction.
stormy......is off to Bibbity-Bobbity Boo land....take lots of pics and make lots of memories, this time will never come again. Maybe when Dad told you he didn't need any help, that was his way of wishing you a good trip and to not spend your time worrying about him. He loves you and appreciates what you do for him and I bet he didn't mean it in a bad way.
burned.....hang in there girl....things can't continue to be crazy forever. Maybe when you bff gets there she can help out. Give you a little bit of a rest.
Vic.....glad to hear the meds are helping Dad. But girl, you need a break!!!!!!!!
BS.......hmmmmm so hubby likes to complain about everything you do to care for HIS mother......I'm seeing a vacation in your near future. Let him find out how hard you work to do the care giving and hopefully he will sing a different tune. If not, then perhaps he can become the care giver and you will become the "swinging single".....sending you hugs!
Vivian.....how hard would it be to get the "pain in the butt" neighbor to sit with Mom and let you get out of the house for a while? Instead of running her off perhaps it would work to your advantage to enlist her help.
Olivia....so sorry to hear about your husband. Taking care of Aunt is an awesome thing, but not at the expense of your health. How wonderful that you want to provide your Aunt with a quality life......and that comes with lots of ups and downs. You will learn to have a thick skin and there will be things that she says or does that will hurt your feelings, and even though they aren't said with malicious intent, it still hurts. You're very welcome to come here and let it all out.
cadarn......good to read from you! So sorry you are going through a tough time.....it's hard to fight off the feelings of guilt....just remember that you are showing yourself and Mom how much you do care by making sure she has the best of help. When the time comes for us to get the "phone call" I hope it's to tell us that the col has passed and not that she is ill or some other problem. I don't want her to linger in suffering.
notlike.......I really like ladee's suggestions for Mom's potatoes. It reminded me of how much trouble I had last year digging up the sweet potatoes. I also garden in raised beds. I have 3 that are 6'x10'. I didn't think I had grown anything but plants....oh contraire.......I found so many potatoes it was unbelievable. I wish Mom would speak to you better, I'm sure there are times when you are glad she doesn't. I understand your frustration and no, you're not being petty.....after all it's your house and no matter who it may be, it's not wrong to want some respect for what is yours.
CMag..........how's the man cave? Hope things are getting better with your situation.

Tonight the col is so confused.....I think Elvis is out on tour....she hasn't seen him lately.....and she forgot to go shopping for her husband (he passed in 97).

If I have left anyone out I apologize and know that it wasn't done on purpose.....sending hugs and angels to all of you....you are in my thoughts daily.

between my kids and my husband its a zoo and the zoo is about to get crowded here soon with my best gf coming down with her kids and husband. I finally got payment made to my credit card and still awaiting for verfication for my foodstamps after i spent 200.00 dollars on groceries and still waiting for the other bills to clear out and then ...seriously need to get a new hobby or find a way to make my current hobby make some extra money for me so I will not be in constant dire straits....been dealing with my depression and my anxiety disorder is getting worse sometimes making it very difficult to cope with things that I normally do. I got a bit of housecleaning to do and I still got to take out the trash here soon. I live in a desert right but guess what its freaky chilly and its april. We should be having temps in the 80's or higher...i even had to plug in my radiator to warm up things. I am sitting in my robe atm trying to stay warm but I hope all is safe and good for all...sorry if I am not in my usual spot on mood but I am hanging in there. I still appreciate all ur prayers n support ty again.

BS2O13...Oh my I'm so sorry that would make me angry. Children of the charge can be so selfish. I think its part of all the things they feel abiout having a ill parent. Not that it excuses the behavior but is some insight into it. I know about the bizzare and sometimes gross behavior. Its like one min. they speak to you like they make complete sense, they know where they are who they are , then do something very outta character...like licking yesterdays pudding off the table that the cat has just walked over and licked, just because it caught their attention. Its frustrating I know. Those who dont spend all day with them think they are fine. Something should be done. she needs to be in nh...or at the least sister needs to come over and take her turn. I they figure something out for your sake. Yes sometimes we want to run away...but we dont. thats a permanant solution to a temporary problem. Im sure in some situatons it does come down to that. bg huggs to ya. come back and lets us know your situation, and feel free to vent anytime.