This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Ladee- Aww... what a sweet post to all of us. Thank you and you know we love and care about you. I know it's been a rough couple of weeks and hopefully things will start to get better soon for you.
Jam- Tanning cream, i try to go to the tanning bed but i don't get there that much so i have to use the fake stuff. Love ya
Lord this place is the house of horrors with me and dad hacking and coughing. We got enough mucus between the two of us to float a boat!!!!!! Yucky right??? Sorry to gross ya'll out.... Will post later tonight. Love and hugs to all stormyyy
Vivian....Jail......my version of the Seeme Spa....
Notlike....A free round for everyone in the Laundry Room.......Cheers!!!
Getting ready to go to the dentist....yuck...hubby has made it to Connecticut.....so far, so good. At least he is still headed north.....no u-turns in sight!!!!
I can't tell you how nice it is to get on here and laugh along with all of you.. I am hoping that Ladee has time to breath this weekend, maybe we can make our cup of coffee together and just yak for a while, been trying to be good and not bug her.. I can be a pest..rofl..
I'm glad to hear that everyone had a decent day yesterday. Ours as normal wasn't very eventful, we did go to La Grange and see some stuff, along with getting Glenn signed up for the VA, would you not know it, I left the camera here at the RV, told Glenn I was putting one camera in the bike and one in the truck, maybe I would get some pictures.
Have a wonderful, peaceful day all.
Those who post with your cell phones always give me such entertainment....I love it!! also have that feature on my new phone and some things I text are hilarious but get frustrating because I have to stop and correct the words.....so now I am laughing....Vic you have given me a terrific start to my day...thank you!
And isn't it mind boggling how these little old people don't have the strength to get themselves out of a chair, but they can pick something up and hurl it across the room?
Austin....sounds like this new group will be interesting....please let us know how it goes. Why they wouldn't jump on the chance to have some experience there makes me wonder if the "leaders" don't have any hands-on either. Book smart doesn't mean you can do the job.....we all know we have learned things and seen things that aren't in a book anywhere.Will be waiting to hear from you.
I have today to work on these shiny, white legs.....supposed to rain for the next 5 days.......I'm not real sure, but I think Elvis has left the building!!!!!!
Sending love and hugs to all for a peaceful day!!!!
Angela..not like said it good..what a lousy alarm clock! Scares ya silly..hope you were able to go back to sleep..hulk hogan! Haha
Austin..know support group will work out great..you have so very much to offer
Ladee..love you and crying is good for the soul..let's all the yuck out! Hugs hugs
Stormy..hope you will breed a little better today
Jam..White legs will turn brown!
Austin-sounds like a good start to the group. Good luck!
Cmag-glad you're feeling better. Hugs.
Ladee-Giving you a shoulder to cry on...hugs and prayers.
Off to face the day. Whatever it may bring.
Have received so much from so many of you, can't imagine my life before having this safe place to be human, to be scaired, tired, silly, and love so freely....In that hospital, I felt your prayers, it helped keep me sane and to do what needed to be done.... I have felt your prayers every day for all the reasons we pray for each other.... and have sent many prayers myself for ya'll.... what an awesome power love is.... and so many of us will never get to meet, but since none of my family cares one way or the other, knowing I have ya'll as my family gets me thru more tough times than ya'll know...
So I cried my tears of being a mama, but smiled and laughed out loud when I read Notlikes comments, and knowing Stormy needs to get well for vacation, and Jam's shiny white legs, and Seeme's crazy mil, and Viv finding her place here, and Cmag feeling better and allowing us to see his vulnerable side... and on and on and on....Since I can't hug each of you, please know that I absolutely could not do this without ya'll... appreciation just doesn't seem to express it for me, but many of you know me well enough to know what I am trying to say..... and maybe tomorrow, I will not be into 'self' and can address all the posts..... love you all so much.....
So sorry you are sick..glad you got drugs!
Cmag...glad you are better..was feeling down myself. I pray the ups come more often. Fight for a happy place in your mind..look at your sweet wife and smile..don't hide out in your man cave too long without any distraction..write a poem or just journal your feeling away....prayers.
Today, has been a much better day than how depleated/depressed I was on Easter Sunday and on Monday. Up one day and then down for one or 2 more is not unusual for me.
Notlike- and yes connor is getting excited about disney, he asks me everyday are we going to disney world yet? So we are doing the countdown thing now. Love and hugs to all stormyyy
Stormy - counting down for you. Connor must be so excited!
To all-I love being a part of this thread. It gives my brain something else to think about instead of my regular days and nights. Dark, light, funny, or sad, I know this is my home.
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
Vic-love ya! Hugs.
Mom's really worn out from the radiation, otherwise quiet here tonight.
ASG...glad it was just a sprain.. Wheelchair..may be safer on your furniture than the hover round.
Hang I there Vivian ..we are here for you
Ladeelou..will let all of you know about doc appt.....
Seeme..praying for Mkie! Poor guy and get rest rest rest...love ya girlie
Seriously, when I tried to talk to Mom about her last radiation appointment, because I plan to be there and the doc wants me there, she wasn't too happy. Wanted to know why I would go, and especially why the doc wants me there. Well, let's see...I've been at every major appointemnt since this started, I keep the schedule, I understand more of what the doc says than both parents combined, I'm the POA, and I am the Good Daughter. Would that be enough? if I didn't go, then a week later she'd be asking me questions for which I had no answers. Argh!
Dad's leg keeps getting better. Yeah! So all is not good, and all is not bad. We'll see how it is when I get home.
Ladee, don't forget that should you need me, I am only a couple of miles from you.
Hugs to all
Welcome newcomers this is a great site to vent and make friends, come back and tell us all about it.
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She wont use it. Maybe that will save the furniture. Love ua