The Caregiver... How are YOU doing today?

I'm learning. When I find something that helps me, I like to pass it along with the hope that it will make at least one of your life's easier. This article is about something I'm learning now. My husband winds up on the floor a lot, and sometimes his brain can't send the message to his limbs of what maneuvers to use to get up. I used to panic and spend sometimes hours of instruction and physically pushing and pulling to get him up, a few times resorting to calling the Fire Department. I now just leave him alone, and eventually his brain kicks in and tells him how to do this everyday task of getting off the floor. Here's the article.

Almost every day I am reminded of one of the most important things I learned about Alzheimer's caregiving -- Just let them do it.

In my case, this refers to my mother Dotty. Dotty is deeply forgetful..


When I first moved to Delray Beach I learned that at least once each day Dotty jumped in the car and went to the store to buy lottery tickets. I say at least once a day because Dotty often forgot that she had already gone to the store and gotten the lottery tickets for that day, so she jumped in the car and bought them again.

When I would try to explain this to her it was very painful. Even when I showed her the lottery tickets it was painful. She didn't believe me and the evidence didn't help.

Welcome to the world of Alzheimer's care giving. The standard and usual rules of communication do not apply.

Not long after I arrived, I managed to get Dotty's license revoked. Not that it mattered, Dotty refused to believe her license had been revoked. She told me daily that she got her license back. Or, that she hired an attorney and he got her license back. Myth.

Now that Dotty didn't drive I had to take her to the store every day for her lottery tickets.

After a while I came up with one of my best ever caregiver ideas, or at least that is what I thought at the time. Why not buy all of the lottery tickets in a single day? All 37 dollars worth of the tickets.

So I bought all the tickets and then each day I would hand the tickets for that day to Dotty. It didn't work to perfection, but it worked and I didn't have to make the trip to the lottery store every day.

Maybe I forgot to mention, Dotty had her own very special lottery store. The reason? Because it was a lucky store. Dotty had concluded that her favorite store had better numbers. So somehow when Dotty bought her daily Cash 3 Ticket 8-1-3 at that store, it was very different then if she bought 8-1-3 at another store. Trust me, I did try to explain the error in her reasoning many many times.

Of course, this was before I discovered Alzheimer's World. Now I understand Dotty's lottery ticket logic. Really, completely understand and it makes sense -- in Alzheimer's World.

Several months after my great Alzheimer's caregiver idea -- buy all the lottery tickets on a single day and then hand them out one day at a time -- I received one of the biggest shocks of my Alzheimer's caregiver life. A shock that sent me into a tailspin like I had never experienced previously in my life -- it sent me to the edge of total despair.

Here is what happened. I took Dotty to the store with me. Once inside the store, I handed her the envelop with the lotter cards filled in and the $37. I instructed Dotty to go and get the lottery tickets. She didn't budge. She had no clue how to do it.

Next I walked her over to the lottery ticket desk and encouraged her -- get the tickets. She was clueless. She did not know what to do. Thanks to my intervention, Dotty had forgotten how to buy lottery tickets. Something she had been doing for 20 years.

I had to live with this for a couple of days.

I was in a state of emotional, physical, and psychological pain. I couldn't get this off my mind. I was convinced it would only be a matter of days or months before Dotty wouldn't be able to do anything -- or worse. I really felt like I was on the edge of despair, and ready to fall.

This happened seven years ago.

After a couple of days it was time for us to go to the doctor for a check up. Once there I started to tell our wonderful doctor, Dr. Chiriboga, about what had happened. I will never forget that day or what he said.

He sat down directly in front of me and told me, if you do everything for her soon she will forget how to do it. Once she forgets it isn't likely that she will relearn how to do something.

Next, his words of wisdom changed our lives. He told me I was the ONE -- the only one that knew what Dotty could and couldn't do.

He suggested to me that I let her do everything she could do. He told me, and these words were prescient, that I would probably get criticized if I let her do everything she could. He told me you'll get criticized from people you never met before in your life.

Dr Chiriboga saved our lives. And of course he was right, I have been criticized upside down and backwards for my simple approach -- I let Dotty do everything she can do.

When I went home from talking with Dr Chiriboga, I got out the da Vinci pad and went into the bunkhouse. I decided I would let Dotty do everything she could do. I started making lists.

Soon, after great success with Dotty, I started a new da Vinci page. In a big circle in the middle of the page I wrote --

We will start living our life as we always had.

By this time I already had Dotty in the gym and had noticed the remarkable things that she could do. This was slowly convincing me that we could start living our life the way we always had.

So we came out of our Alzheimer's cave.

We started socializing. Dotty was back to talking to people. Brand new people she had never met. She was telling her wild tales to anyone that would listen. They believed every word she said. I had learned to accept these tall tales instead of correcting her. Instead of getting bent out of shape, I learned to laugh right along with everyone else. Did it matter that none of what she said had happened, or that much of it wasn't true?

No.

I didn't know it yet but I was crossing over into Alzheimer's World -- seamlessly. In Alzheimer's World it is not unusual to learn that what is true is false, and what is false is true. Doesn't matter over there. Just doesn't matter.

So yesterday it happens. Somebody I never saw before in my life starts criticizing and berating me.

She is mad because she thinks I am not helping Dotty step off the sidewalk and into the street. I am there doing my usual thing -- cheering Dotty on and encouraging her to take the step. I am holding on to her but I am not really helping her. She won't fall and I know she will take the step -- sooner or later. In Alzheimer's World you just gotta learn to be patient.

So here is the women yelling at me, telling me to get Dotty a walker and all kinds of stuff.

I give her the stare and I put my palm out and just wait for her to run out of gas. Dotty makes the big step down and away we go.

Now to be honest, please pardon my French here, I would have enjoyed ripping that woman's butt out with my mouth. And trust me, I know how to do it without any profanity. I could have given her the stomach ache she was trying to give to me.

But you know what -- I didn't say a word. I just took it in stride. I am comfortable in my own skin as an Alzheimer's caregiver. And, like I said before, I won't let anyone crap on our parade.

On the way to the car Dotty said, that woman is an ass. I laugh. This one is true in real world and Alzheimer's World.

All in all, pretty good day.

You have to learn how to let a person who is deeply forgetful do things, everything they can do.

You need to learn how which activities then can do, and never assume they cannot do something until they prove to you conclusively that they can't.

Please. Avoid the tendency to say and think, this won't work for us. Try it first, even if you brain is telling you it won't work.

Never forget, there is more there than you can imagine. So use your imagination in a positive proactive way.

Morning ya'll. Vickie Vic, happy to hear dad is doing better.. just know you are loved...
And a good day with mom too, wow, maybe you are in caregiver heaven and just don't know it....
Stormy, glad to hear things are boring for you right now... as much as that in itself sucks, at least you know he is maintaining.... hugs to you..
ASG, glad to hear it was a good day with Auntie... you just amaze me that you are able to maintain any sanity on the merry go round with her... or maybe you aren't sane and we just don't know it.... either way, you are loved too...
Marie was Cranky Cassie all day, I just can't help but look at the two of my charges and wonder about God's plans sometimes.... here she is with a sound mind, health issues and a straight up bitch, Sonny is late stage Alz. and nothing but a sweetie...
It was almost an explosion yesterday when I missed a BUG on the floor in the entryway hall.... IT'S BEEN THERE ALL WEEK !!!!! No, it hadn't, but I let her get away with that one, ya know, picking your battles and all that happy crap.... but after a few hours of dodging verbal bullets, went to ask her something about lunch, she threw her head back, rolled her eyes and deep sighed (probably the only deep breathe she had taken all week !) and that when I wasn't playing anymore... just told her I was going to fix it how I wanted to, if she didn't like it she didn't have to eat it... see, it's this little passive-aggressive game she plays... if I don't ask her, and do it wrong, then I get blasted... if I do ask her, I get on her nerves.... she sets it up to be able to bitch no matter what... she ate the lunch....but just about burned the tires off my car getting away from there yesterday....
Seeme, today is " get the mil' day, will be thinking of you, hoping you have installed rubber bumpers all thru the house for when she is bouncing off the walls.... hopefully this will be very short term.... but know we will be hearing from you more often....love ya...
Moving stuff from one storage location to another this weekend.. I'm already tired and haven't even gotten started yet.... so I'll pop in when I can.... hope you all find a way to get a hug today... am sending some cyber hugs, but it's just not the same.... love and hugs to those I didn't say love and hugs to.... a few brain cells went by the wayside yesterday..... love ya'll

Morning all..ASG..so glad that auntie and yu guys are getting some good moments. When all is said and done these are what we will remember the most.
My mom gets constipated like that from time to time.. I have even had to take her to the er to get cleaned out! Uck!!! I have found that magnesium citrate works great! It is a little bottle of fizzy stuff that cost 1 dollar. Within 6 hours all is flushed through! Lol I notice that is the elderly aren't regular they stress about it and that in itself make the situation worse.
Burned..glad you a feeling a little better..you amaze me woman!
And ladee you and seeme well what can I say.. Know you guys are holing me up!
Mom and I enjoyed eachothers yesterday.. Guess I listened better and she put her hearing aids in! Haha

Hey ya'll nothings going on here. Just the same old stuff. Dad did go to the dr today and got the results of his tsh levels. They were elevated to a 8.06. But i'm sure its nothing, they will just adjust his meds. Ya'll take care. Love and hugs stormyy

well dinner is roasting in the oven it is gonna be another late one...simply do not care besides on the clock n sometimes the kids like a late dinner. I got over that weird funk that made my body feel like it been running too fast and too hard. I guess i needed physical and mental rest. I guess the clock been going crazy on me because of this renewal crap etc. Then I had imaging company calling me today having trouble billing his insurance and they were going to his medicaid first so have to call them and finish the process so I can keep him under LTC and me his aide:) for better or worse I am glad I do not have almost 7 million dollars that would really put a stink in the process. I am rich enough with the ones I have close by. as for my sis in law her issues wont be fixed because she refuses to do so ...she may have to go to the hospital for mental problems and one of them is unwilling to fix her life at the age of 58...sometimes just can't rely on family like you should be able to.

Another good day with auntie..(knocking on wood). I don't know what to think. She asked me to go get stuff to make milk shakes tonight so I did. Her the girls and i(the boys are on a sleep over)drank our milk shakes and planted our flowers. She told the girls how she didn't have a green thumb, her was purple and she kills everything she touches Lol. She finally said her but was numb from sitting in the chair so she went back to her room. Poor thing had a couple accidents today due to being constipated and consuming 2, 8 pill pakages of dulcolax the last few days. Poor thing she dosnt normally have them, she said she didn't even know when or that she had done it until she went to the bathroom. I feel for people who have to consume that much medicine to make em go. I don't know why but enemas dosnt touch it. For some reason when she gets blocked up, it up high. Not to be gross but, if figure we all have had our share of putting up with sh*t:) or shall I call it pingo! Ladee I used to have pics of the boys riding on the brama bull.my mom did I mean, they burned in her house. the other bull was mean, we had to cross over a fence and walk down the railroad tracks which ran parrallel or our driveway to avoid that monster. I don't see very many of them around here. I've really been thinking of my grandad here latley. It breaks my heart that I'm so caught up in caregiving in my own home to someone I'm not technically related to, instead of helping care for the one person I always thought I would. That's one reason that picture touched me like it did. It reminded me that even though its not by blood, she still needs me cause we are all she's got:) and my grandad has MANY. So I guess the good Lord put me where I was needed most. You would be suprised at how many medical people give me a lack of information because I'm not her child. Esspecially in the hospital. They always ask me if she has children when I tell them I'm the niece. Oh well. Ladeeda I'm sure you know how I feel.

Vic, what Seeme said, and know you have love and support here and we all really do know that feeling of thinking there has to be something else I can do to make this better... accepting our limitations and accepting things as they are is very hard... I went thru it with Ruth, all here have been thru or are going thru that horrible powerlessness of watching our loved ones not doing well....
This is where LOVE, our most powerful tool comes in.... in the end, that's all we really have to give, tho it was given a million times a day in many ways with our actions, to make it more comfortable for those we love.... but then we just get to love... with a broken heart, but it is love all the same....
All of you, regardless of your situation and where you are in this ongoing story of caregiving, you are so appreciated, so loved, so thanked.... angels sent to all of you to help carry your load , what ever it might be.... hugs to you all..

Oops meant can't!! Haha maybe my emotions are taking over and I want to make it better. Oh well!

Dad seems a slight slight bit better. At least he hasn't thrown up and he responded a little better. Have gotten some food and plenty of water in him. Seeme I hear ya loud and clear... I know that I can change or fix things ..just need to be loving and attentive.
Prayers for all of you.

Prayers to burned...may you feel a little peace.

well my kids are having fun but my stomach is not and i think of all the things i do for this broken healthcare system is impacting my health again. I feel sick and nauseated once more...hopefully gonna try to eat something and maybe improve my outlook just so tired and not feeling it today.

Hey everyone. Ladeeda its a deal, did someone say movie time in the laundry room????I'm there. As long as there is no laundry involved. I've been in the middle of the big winter to spring summer switch ovr with the familys laundry. Everything washed, most stored away to be gone through next year to see what fits who. O gotta bunch I need to get around to pass on to the nephews. Its sad that my baby boy has grown outta so much and I have no one else in the house tobpass it down to:( bright and shiney here now, thought we we're gonna get spme rain but it puckered out on us.its supposed to eb high eighties here on Sunday. I shoulda had the girls plant flower seeds earlier.id love to put flowers out now. Oh well. Hope all you caregivers have a nice eve. And a restful night

Vic, I've been where you are, and it doesn't change a thing. If you hadn't been there for both your folks, they wouldn't still be alive. Remember that. You cannot put off the inevitable forever. And sometimes my prayers don't even get put into words. They are just feelings reachig out. God knows what is in your heart.

Lildeb, such a difficult sistuation. Yes, your sister needs you now. Prioritize.

Mslisadoll, I was looking forward to my mom having a colostomy, but she died first. My dad had a temporary one for 6 weeksd. After the first blowout, which, thank God, happened on the hospital floor, I was told that 20 minutes after eating was usually a good time to check the bag. His bag was in the small intestine, so it was all fluid. Guess the same goes for fluid intake. And we put a garbage bag under him when the bag got changed. Of course, at the time I was just learning how to deal with it and so was dad. He died just after the reversal surgery.

Wish I could help with all of your troubles and worries. I will have my mil here tomorrow. Not looking forward to it, but hopefully it will just be a temporary stay before she goes back to Maine. She sounded good the last time I talked to her.

Everyone have a wonderful day..

Good Morning Posse!

Good to read from so many this morning.....WELCOME to our new friends! Franny joins us and wins the COW PATTIE! That must be a good omen for things to improve in your life!
Hi again Lisa..so sorry for the added burden of now dealing with the colostomy and yes come here to unload....we have a bunch of good shoulders to lean on.
ASG.....ditto what ladee said.....Love ya!
mis......if you need some pointers for getting your dental work done just holler...you will do fine and won't really have to worry about losing them in the mud...lol. Have been following you on FB and looking at the pics of mudding....I bet there's mud in places you never thought you had!
Vic....you are such a good daughter and doing such a fantastic job of care giving...please don't beat yourself up. That just leaves internal bruises. Watching the end of life cycle has got to be one of the hardest things we will ever do because it's inevitable no matter how much hard work we put into the care giving. Hugs for you today...

And remember that we can say a prayer and God will hear us whether we are changing diapers, mopping floors or sitting in the laundry room!

Happy Friday Trails,
Jam

Lildeb-my heart goes out to your sister, niece, and to you. When there is more than one major need (sister/elder), sometimes you have to pick the most pressing. And it sounds like your sis nees you the most right now. So stick to your guns and spend the time with her. Hugs.
ASG-Can we have movie night in the laundry room? Popcorn for all! Hugs.
Vic-Let's see...you worried, you noticed the changes in Dad, you continue to take care of him, you called and made appointments with multiple doctors, and now you got an answer. I'd say you did ALOT. Please don't beat yourself up for not knowing what was wrong with him. Your parents are lucky to have you. Hugs.
Franny-welcome. Have you tried contacting a social worker? Maybe through the Department of Aging, or through one of his doctors? They might be able to give you some options for home care for him. Hugs.
It's Friday! Yeah! Well, for me that just means 48 hours of home caregiving, instead of work caregiving. But I'll get a nap!
Going to see a good friend tonight. Non-alcoholic drinks, chocolate, and venting. I can't wait. Tomorrow I am taking the parents shopping. I could wait for that. LOL
Have a good day everyone.

Yes ASG saw the post about the rocks, now when you are just ready to put Auntie on the first boat to China, you can look at those rocks and think of me spending that 20 minutes with her...lol....blink blink ya think!!!!!!

Franny...my grandad has an icd...and has for years. You are probably better to do just as you said. You can only do so much and its outta your hands. Yes my grandad who is close to the same age as your uncle has an icd. His primary doctor said, he can't walk anymore, he can't do anything without being outta breath. His kidneys have been failing for a while, let's think about shutting the icd off as he is in so much misery. Cardiologist said nope, I think you still have a few good days left, that would be suicide. My grandad being a preacher now thinks its suicide so he won't do it. All the e.r. people plus his primary and kidney doctors think its time to diactivate it. So he suffers and suffers. I don't mind keeping him around I love him so much. My point is, he has an ejection fraction of not kidding you 10....his pacemaker keeps it going a certain beat and the icd shocks him back as soon as it goes into a fib or tries to stop. It happens 3 to 4 times a week now. Your uncle likly has a very long road to go. My grandad had his put in in the late late eighties, he is part of a trial on them. So yeah don't continue on the path that your on. Stay close mabe, help when you can. But don't get sucked into it. Is he willing to go to a different doctor? No cleaning oneself is a sign of dementia, so is being incontinent. So is beaing mean to the person caring for him. Is his memory still in tact? Maybe that's why say he dosnt have dementia. I just found out my aunt who I care for in my home has vascular type dementia. She only recently started losing her memory,it comes and goes, but she has been throwing tantrums for a few years, really bad since her stroke. Can you get him to see a neurologist familiar with dementias?

Ladeeda Lol. I love you to girl. Today I saw the old auntie bavk for a very short time. It breaks my heart at what dementia does to people. therapy fund...great idea. I hadn't thought of that:) that might be more important than a college fund. .Did ya see my post about the quartz I found and thought of ya? Its a couple pages back I think. That Fn cat Lol...would you believe she keeps sayin, "I don't know what I was thinking making her stay it that cage. She's such a good kitty. I guess I thought I was protecting her I don't know, what I was thinking, it was crazy to do that really"blink...blink..ya think!

Mlisa doll...this is a great place to vent. Go ahead and type your heart out. Dealing with a colostomy isn't easy I know. The more you do it the easier it gets. Congratulations on the job.

Thank You allshesgot2,

I plan on moving out and continuing to help my uncle,but only on the weekends.Since he is not senile,and refuses to bathe or wash up regularly,there is not much I can do.He will need life alert when I move out,because of the heart failure and the ICD in his chest.I will no longer put up with the smells in the apt.When i move out,he can deal with the Landlord if there are any complaints from the neighbors.His Cardiologist is another condescending sob,who tried to tell me how to talk to an 89 year old.

I do apologize I have been busy and dealing with a small family drama of my own and mainly just ticked what seems to be the lack of caring on my husband's side cuz of his sister medical problems. Normally, I do not have issue with such things but as it is I cannot stand by let someone who has no money and no where to go. She has refused to go home and used everybody for money yet expect the world to do her beck n call. I did let her children have it and end up getting shunned. You only have one mother in life and her children are biding their time taking responsibility of her medical and mental needs. She is about to evicted and i am out of ideas besides halfway houses does anyone know a decent place for her that i can drop a byline to the family located in Az or Indianapolis for almost 60 yr old woman with no money or insurance ...she lost her SSDI but has been trying to win it it back again but she wont take SSI which she should. Just a concerned member even tho I am not loved by all of my in laws.. lol.

ASG, I would like to spend about 20 minutes with Auntie, that's all I'm gonna say... and we need to start a fund now for ASG's kids therapy....I'm just a little protective of ASG and her kids..... love ya girl.... oh and the F'n cat too...

thank you - now it is nice to feel like a small part of our forum and not so odd. my mom has a colostomy and now can not get out of bed, so we are having incontinent accidents that are bringing us down a little. I am supposed to go to work pretty soon and she still wants to stay here as we are sick of doctors and hospitals and the hype that goes with it. Nosey people that are clueless make it worse as they don't help a thing. thought was the only one that felt like "shiitte" and am getting a small cyst on my hand and probably getting ready to type my heart out but am very grateful to finally get to go to work. guess whatever happens happens and not much you can do about our folks health except the best we can do. oh well, take care of yourselves and thanks so much for letting me vent

Vic, a UTI is not always a deal breaker... it is very common in our elders and sometimes we don't always catch them right away because it mimicks other behaviours, so you are not alone in not always catching the first signs of a UTI.... The antibiotics they use are very good and this is not a chronic condition with dad. so you should start seeing improvement real soon.... and drive by prayers are heard also,

Ok everybody else. Auntie came out this afternoon, when she heard the kids coming home. Brought out her box-o-grahm crackers....and wanted to share..with the kids hmmm. The kids were all looking at each other, not sure if they should take one, was very polite each took one and thanked her. For the newbies or those who may not remember shortly after auntie moved in she had a majior melt down cause my 5 year old asked for a gram cracker, he saw her eating one, asked me for one, I encourage him to ask her...thinking it would kinda break the ice. And she wiggs out on him. He cried, I cried. She set in her chair eating another in front of him. They no longer have view to her apartment, she has a kitty cat now. So the door stays shut. Anyways. You never know how they are gonna be with this dementia stuff. 15 min later I put in the new muppet movie thinking since she was out perhaps she would be content to stay out a while and watch t.v. with my daughter. She watched for 20 min then shouted at my daughter to turn it off cause nobody is watching it. Certainly not her. Hmm her eyes were glued to the music part. Oh well. Al in all today wasn't horrible.

Franny51...what a rude doctor!!! Does he not see that you are trying to help? Did you move in with your uncle to help him? If he dosnt have dementia, and he's in a terrible situation, I would find me a new place and then call the local social services to have them check him out. What are the circumstances surrounding your caregiving? Best wishes come here and vent and maybe we can put our heads together and help.

Vic I'm sorry for what you are gooing through. Uti do make them out of their mind so maybe the antibiotic will help. Praying for you to. And yes I catch myself doing the drive by prayers instead. I try to stop what I'm soing and say a little prayer for people while I'm thinking about it so I don't forget when my head hits the pillow at night. Rest assure vic, you are doing the best you can. Most of this is ou of our hands. All we can do is all we can do. Prayers to you. id love to have me a prayer warrior;)

I am a Caregiver to an often nasty 89 year old uncle who is incontinent and doesn't want to clean himself.I have one foot out the door.According to his doctor,he is not senile and I have been told by my uncles's doctor that he has every right to ask me to leave.I am tired of putting up with the apartment smelling like urine.I have no family and no one to turn to and am at my wits end.My uncle has heart failure and kidney failure but is ambulatory.When I try to get him to wash up,he says,"I am lucky to be alive'.He always points out that as long as he can pay his bills on time,he is ok,and needs no help from me.I am currently looking for full time work and will probably move out.

Vic prayers to ya.

It's been a while since I've posted but I've been trying to lurk. Welcome to all the newbies.

A week ago today was my worst day I've had. This stuff is going in phases but I know it'll get better with time. For those that are new here my husband and I took care of his grandma for almost 5yrs before she passed in January of this yr.

The past couple of wks I've been playing out in the mud and making mud pies. What flavor you all want? lol We've got offroad vehicles and just really got them out when it was record breaking temps here 2 wks ago and now a less than 50 miles north of me they have winter storm advisories. This weather doesn't make any sense.
I'm going and getting upper dentures means some tooth pulling is in order for me. I'm not looking forward to the pulling or dentures. My worst fear is I'm going to be driving my side by side on these bumpy Michigan trails and my teeth fall out. Then I'll have to radio my husband " Oh honey, we gotta turn around." Husband: "Why? Me: " I lost my teeth!" lol
Talk to you all later. Keeping you all in my prayers.

Hi all..has been a few days since I have checked in and I haven't caught up on posts.
Just wanted to let you all know what has been going on here. Didn't get and help from hematologist as his muse said he didn't get any info. But the good news there was dad didn't need a shot as his RBC was normal! Yaay.. So we are still dealing with his deterioration. Yesterday dad seeme to be going away in his mind and there is no way I can get him on the toilet. Rather than Greek out cause he cannot stand and I start yelling cause I think he can do something about it.. I decided to go back to using tabbed diapers and changing him in his bed. Well today he really seemed more out of it. I decided to get him to the doctor. When I called to get him worked in..his doctor called me to find out what was going on. Again I told him about dad going away in his mind and the rigidity of his body is even worse. He said he send a cover letter to the hematologist with the labs he wanted him to look at. I told him..no such luck. Well anyway he asked if I thought dad might have a UTI.. Here I am thinking that dad just had urine checked 3weeks ago and it was clear and his urine that I have seen looked good. He asked if I could get a sample and bring. Well ...low and behold UTI..just gave him the first antibiotic...pray it isn't too late. I feel like such a heel and I still think dad has dementia with lewy body's.. Doc said that if it wasn't the UTI that he has gone as far as he can ...I almost took him to er today..really didn't want to do that knowing he may not come home. Will give this antibiotic time to work and see if it helps him come back around.
Just knowing you all are out there is a blessing to me. I am scared that I am not doing all I can for dad and fighting to get him help. I am down and at a loss. Mom prays and her prayers are answered. she is an incredible prayer warrior! I do good saying short prayers throughout the day and since dad has gotten sick..I am so caught up in the moment that I don't pray like I ought. Dread the day when dad passes and mom sees him go. Yesterday was their 59th wedding anniversary.
Will try to catch up soon. Welcome to new posters! Glad you are here. This is a great thread with wonderful caring folks.