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What an hour I just had. She punched me twice....threw milk all over the house and on my husband, all because we told her NOT to let her dog out because Meals On Wheels were here to give her a hot lunch! Maggie (her yapping Boston Terrier) already bit the mail man. She has become quite the problem dog as grandma gets worse. Needless to say, she was at the door already when we told her NOT to let the dog out- she does it anyway so she can prove a point that she doesnt have to listen to anyone. Guess what?? Meals on Wheels lady has now been bit. Luckily no blood was drawn but grandma started throwing the biggest fit ever because we left her dog out after the lady left. It was so bad my husband had to bear hug her and walk her to her room. She cried and screamed "Hes hurting me" when you could tell by looking she had enough space in his arms to do the chicken dance if she wanted too. Yep...its time to start looking at facilities. My family is on overload and this was the worse fit/with punching and throwing out of the normal 1-2 fits per day. The doctor has her on Depakote to help.....but it doesnt seem to be working as it used too. She is on 1000 (500 in the am and 500 in the pm) now. He had her on 1500 a day before and we had to reduce it to 1000 because she was hallucinating. Any ideas on a better medicine?? We are looking for placement in a Dementia unit by June or July but I really need some good advice to keep it together until then.
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Good Morning to all of our Angels!

You guys have been busy! Welcome to Angela.....ewwww tuna and jelly......made me think about the days when mil still lived here.....not much made sense coming out of her mouth and she also liked to do weird things with her food....like the day I asked why her oatmeal was pink.....yep cherry popsicle!

The HIPPA law came about because a group of firefighters from somewhere were sitting in a restaurant after a call one day talking about the circumstances and outcome of the call. It just so happened that a family member overheard and complained about personal information being tossed out for anyone to hear the embarrassing details.....thus the law was passed. The biggest problem was that it went way overboard. When I was still working I could come back to the station and talk to my partner about it but no one else. If working a car accident I couldn't even give information to a police officer unless they were actively involved with patient care......you would be surprised how many of them I used for temporary iv poles or had them hand me a bandage or c-collar....something to make them involved. Someday the "right" person will be hurt because of not being able to pass along information and the law will be changed. Technically those involved as care givers should have easy access to pertinent information....the problem is that the law is so vague as to who is allowed what......and the initial fine is $25,000 and goes up.....that doctors and other health care professionals just keep their mouths shut.

Vic I heard you quacking from here!!!! Started raining again yesterday at 5:45pm....pouring actually and the blind doggie chose that moment to wake up and want out....umbrella didn't do much good. My poor grass looks like a jungle out there!

Thinking about all of you today and hoping you get through the day with partial sanity still intact.......sending angels and hugs!

Happy Trails,
Jam
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Notlike, yeah, just don't say anthing about the test results.... she may have gotten some news that she didn't like... and she doesn't want you to be 'right' about anything... just keep it in the back of your mind, and keep observing.... Has she singed a HIPA release so you can call for yourself???I will never understand why that stupid law was passed in the first place, makes all this twice as hard somtimes when we need information... of course I would never call a Dr. that would be totally unprofessional, but family should have access to that info if they need it....
So just keep on keepin' on , keep the Laundry Room in the back of your mind, one of these days we are all going to meet in the Laundry Room and tell ALL our elders secrets..... to the National Enquirer!!!!!
hope eveyone had a good day and yeah Shelia, that 's what it feels like when they get on a run about something, round and round and round and round...
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Thanks everyone for your support of my bad day. Yesterday was better - no bed bugs or stolen cell phones. The next time the stars allign that way, I am going back to bed until the day is over!!!
Angela - welcome. And at least I wasn't eating a tuna and jelly sandwich, too, on my bad day. YUCK!
Lindy-missed you. Hugs.
Vic-hope you get answers about your Dad. This "two for one " caring we do is hard when they are worried for each other. Hugs.
Maybe we could send all the pollen to the Laundry Room? That way, everyone would feel better.
Looks like Dad has cellulitis on his leg. So neosporin and bandage changes every night. Thank goodness he told me (after three days of it being red and sore) before it got any worse. And he's been using his C-Pap, even though it will take a while to get used to it.
What Mom didn't tell me was the results of her cognitive test. I heard from Dad that the hospital called her and she is doing better than she did 3 months ago. It's strange, because she all but threw the last one in my face, because it showed she was okay. It's been 3 days now since they called, and she hasn't even mentioned it. And sis and I have both noticed more forgettfulness, so we're wondering if she even told Dad the truth about the call. It's very frustrating to take care of someone who treats you like the enemy. I didn't give her cancer, or memory loss, or any of this - I'm here to help. But helping to her seems to mean she would have to acknowledge she's sick. Too much round and round with her - I would love to sit and talk about this with her but I already know how that turns out. Not good. So I will try to be patient until she's ready to talk to me, or there is a crisis.
Looking forward to it really being Friday! And payday! And a short day at work! Maybe the stars are alligned right for today :)
Hugs to all.
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Ladee ~ ...get in a hamster wheel about something. Luv it. Perfect analogy.
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Poor lildeb, catching it from all sides, but really liked your answer to her about learning so as not to argue..... at least she got quite for awhile... and didn't you , just for a few minutes, want to tell her how you REALLY felt about some of the things she says and does... living in a situation of constant bickering is not good, so very proud that you are educating yourself on how to handle her and yourself, better in upcoming situations.....
Just like today, Sonny constantly hawking (sp) and spitting, I was afraid he was going to make his throat bleed... I finally told him to come with me to see the bluebonnets outside.... got him distracted and he stopped.... lord, they get in a hamster wheel about something, and you sometimes just have to stop it and take them off...
And happy to hear her eating the ice cream did not make your sugar go up... lol.... proud of you girl.... you are doing good..
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Has anyone looked at the amount of posts that we have up just for this particular area? Over 6,000. Anyway, today I got the mnl to fill dirt into three of the plastic swans for the front yard and she enjoyed a little bit.

I also called and talk to someone from the Area Aging Agency and they were so helpful and are going to send me brochures of what their program offers. I also didn't know that the mnl was ease dropping and heard her name mention while I was talking to her about our situation. the mnl just blurted out after I got off the phone that, " I had no idea that you felt that way about me." I was stunned! So, dumb me try to explain to her that she was diagnose with mild AZ back in Sept.
Well, she is in denial like always and was very pissed at me. Then she stated that she is just a dumb country girl and that is why she does some of the things she does or says. I told her she is not dumb and that it is an illness but then she wanted to argue. I told her I was NOT going to argue about it and that I was just trying to get information to learn about AZ so that we can communicate without yelling at each other. She just clammed up for about hour. hey, it was kind of quite for a little while. So, that is when I got her to do the swans and later we went and got tax stuff ready for tomorrow appt and we treated ourselves to a single dipped ice-cream cone and she ate the whole thing and it didn't affect my sugar. yeah...
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My grandson in NM was in the hospital with oxygen tank due to his asthma from the freaking pollen, poor child. he is now back home but still on oxygen and he takes asthma med as well. He is only five years old what a shame. I feel so sorry for him & if he was closer I would just give him a big grandma hug.
Hubby is having the same issue of the pollen as you all for he sounds like he has a frog in his throat. he's taking Mucinex and hasn't help him too much. I did wash his car to help get the pollen off and wax and hopefully that will help somewhat. I'm taking Sudafed and it helps somewhat. Hearing the thunder and lightning and hopefully it will shower all the pollen away.
Sending all you allergy suffers a big fat hug and hope y'all get to feeling better soon.
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Angela ~ In the beginning I used to try to talk with my husband as you would any normal person that had the capabilities of logic, problem solving and was anchored in the here and now. It was incomprehensible to me that this wouldn't be possible, but it didn't take long to figure out that, rather than trying to bring your loved one into the real world, you need to enter into hers. I'm still having difficulty with it, but it's much easier when I succeed. Oneupmanship and trying to prove a point doesn't work with AZ/dementia either. It's almost like interacting with a toddler who's in the terrible twos stage, except the the toddler is in the process of learning, while the AZ/dementia patient is losing what they've learned.
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Jam and Austin- I wanted to clear something up and it was probably my fault at how i said it or worded it. Talking about the nurse and her reaction to dad coughing up the blood. She did not have a attitude towards me or sister it was more like she was concerned as to why my sister did not think that it was important to carry dad to the hospital when he was coughing up blood for 2 days straight. I was glad that at least she had that reaction so i would not think i was crazy for thinking he needed to go somewhere also. She was nice about it all and i could tell that she just did not understand why sis didn't feel the need to get him checked out. I just don't believe that you should be coughing up for 2 days because you didn't wear a humidification mask. I'll never believe it!!!! But sis would put her life on it, that that was the cause of it all. Also i looked back on my calendar and dad has been coughing up blood for 5 months now. In nov it was 3 times that month. Dec was 3 times that month, Jan was 2 times, Feb was 4 times. To me it does not sound normal either. I mean i don't know if this is something that happens with people with copd or trachs, i have no idea. Does anybody know? Is anybody taking care of someone with copd that has coughed up blood? Much love and hugs stormyyy
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Angela, hope you come back with the next installment of " Granny and The Grape Jelly and Tuna Sandwich... thanks for the laugh.... THIS IS NASTY... sure wish you had taken a pic of that second bite....welcome..

Ok, I want to smoke a whole cigarette, all at one time, like back in the olden days,like last week... I am getting CRANKY..... cough please go away before I kill someone....
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Burned- i have been taking the 12 hour clariden and tylenol sinus and they both seem to help with the pain and pressure that all this pollen is causing. I hope you feel better soon. Hugs stormyyyy
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Angela- Welcome aboard!!! And thank you for the laugh, I needed that... I will be thinking all day about your gma taking a bite of tuna and jelly sandwich. Yuck i know that had to have been nasty.
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Well...I will add to the story from above...lol...When she came out of her room, I assumed she remembered why she was in there (she did not) so I tried explaining to her, as I would a child that she needs to know I am here to help, not to be her boss and I told her she didnt understand that. She says to me... "Well what you dont understand is I LIKE TUNA AND JELLY together" so, sarcastically I apologized, knowing she was lying. I say "Oh Grandma, I was wrong- Im so sorry!" I then told her I would REMAKE her Tuna and Jelly sandwich. She says "no, that wont be necessary, I just wanted you to know you are wrong" I said- "No grandma, I Insist!!! Im so sorry for messing up your sandwich" I went on and made her this Tuna and Grape Jelly Sandwich. I put it in front of her and watched her take a bite...I could tell it was nasty to her- she swallowed it and took another being a smartass...After the 2nd bite, she looks at me and says "THIS IS NASTY!!" I reminded her of her mood swing and why I sent her to her room...she replies "Well maybe we both could of handled it differently" LOL... So, with a good ending It made me understand- when she is in the moment of rage, it was not because of me, it was because of her and the fact that someone caught her doing something she wouldnt normally do because of her disease. We talk alot, I still explain to her why Im here, sometimes she seems to get it and other times she is oblivious. I wish I knew what she retains- if anything from our serious talks.
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Lideb..just hang in there. There is so very much infor on AZ in the Internet to help you with symptoms and resources. Make sure you get info on respite. These folks on here are so wonderful..giving support all the time. God Bless
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Hi, Lindy, glad that you are posting, having to place a loved one I believe ranks right near the pain of losing a loved one. Both people hurt. I know that it about ripped my heart out the day we transferred Mom to hospice. I found out the next day as I sat there watching her take her last breaths that she had cussed the nurses and said she wanted to go home. She had wanted to die in her own home,

I believe you have done the right thing, like placing my Mom was the right thing for me, I could not physically tend to her needs anymore. She argued about using the adult diapers, so that meant getting her up and getting her to the bedside, hopefully in time, other wise you had her to clean up and everything else.

Take the Doctor's advice, and maybe talk to your own doctor about something like this , does the NH have like group activities? something she can get involved with? that association with others might help pull her out of the depression.
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Angela, I bet you have a few stories to tell!!!! So she must have been a real looker in her time. Bless her heart. My mom still flirted in her 80's. She had a real deep crush on the Methodist preacher in our community. She embarrassed me more than she did herself. So you had a food fight. Sounds almost like fun!!! Except for cleaning up the jelly. It made me feel powerful to tell my mom to go to her room...not that I did it often...................come back and tell us more stories. Lildeb needs to know what can happen and how to deal with it. Laughter always works best for me......just remind me of that after my mil gets here...................
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Almost a year now as Grandmas Caregiver! 73 old /Dementia. She used to be the "catch"...she looked like Elizabeth Taylor in her day and she thinks she is still young now...she is flirting with my husband and trying everything to get his attention. We all thought it was cute and funny at first but its taken a toll on us because she is throwing fits not getting the attention she wants and she calls me names and throws stuff at me anytime I am near him. GOD GRANT ME THE PATIENCE I NEED FOR MY GRANDMOTHER!!! I have a few good moments throughout the days still with her but she is worse than a spoiled 2 year old right now. She was making a sandwich right after I gave her lunch....so I just let her make it UNTIL I noticed she was putting jelly on tunafish....she hates tuna. We have had a problem with her wasting food so I stepped in and tried to help- she was mad that I tried to tell her Jelly doesnt taste good on tuna and she threw the sandwich at my face. I was so irritated I threw it back at her face!!!!! OMG...am I losing my paitence???? I called her a spoiled brat and told her to go to her room. None of me "flipping my lid" helped any. She didnt even know 5 minutes later what happened. I think I need a vacation!
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I do not know if its my allergies or something worse but have an air filter running still not doing much but it has help ease up my smoking. I feel like crap and i havent sleep well the past few nights...maybe its the cat she got her 6th sense tingling like crazy and she was all over the place. I no longer deal with my twin anymore...I just ended it because we will never understand each other just like my husband's family doesn't understand the guilt he has still and how it affects his health. I on the other hand got a couple crazy fun loving kids and seeking an extra job ...i need more hrs but ill have to see where to apply at. I am trying to find a legitimate source that will allow me to work from home besides my additional duties...blast it all zytrec isn't cutting it and i am about go freakish on this frog in my throat lol.
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Ladee, Thank you for understanding and I am trying to get as much information from internet and from here as well. I went to couple of book stores here for that is about all we have and neither one had much of anything on AZ. I guess I need to go online for that as well but not sure what book has the best educational information to help me understand more. I kind of feel bad for I never even thought that she may had been embarrassed and no-one would like to feel like that way, damn! I'll bend over and you can kick my in my little you know what. Learn from my mistakes. She knows where the bathroom is but now that I think about it, she does have her time when it starts getting around 8pm-sundowning. I also caught her one time when we first moved her over here that some how she had gotten the dogs food bowl and was peeing in it right in front of the bathroom! I woke up because i kept hearing a strange sound and to my surprise it surprise me as well and when I asked her what was she doing it was if she had been sleep walking for she started to cry. I told her back then that it was okay and I cleaned up the mess on the rug for she didn't ring it too well in dog bowl. : ) I never brought that up either for I knew she couldn't help it. Like you mention I need to get all information I can and if their is any could websites or book please feel free to let me know.That goes for anyone on this site as well, please. It is nice to read the things that you have to do as well as others to help make it easier for the person and yourself. Like what you do for Sonny with the vacuum and knocking on door. Little things like that I will need to know for future purpose. Be nice if we had an area for do's & don't for AZ members and I know everyone is different but be nice to have a list from past experience care-takers.
I am going to try and call the Area Aging Agency and see how the Respite works and the cost and discuss with the hubby. Right now he is sick with the pollen and trying to teach high school students. I also have a grandson who just got out of hospital but was sent home with an oxygen tank for his asthma due to the pollen and he is only 5yrs old. I told my son that to see if the dr thinks he is immune to his asthma meds and try a new one and to get a hepa=filter and humidifier, poor thing. Be nice I could just go over their & help them but they live in NM.

seemeride, You will be in my prayers for I lost my mom at age 58 and I know how it is to lose a mom. I hope you can find peace during this time.
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Jam..we started quacking last night..steady downpour! Have been keeping my tounge wi mom. Hubby is still here for a few more days. Depending on how dad is doing..I hope to go see my grand baby next month for a few days.. Trying not to get my hopes up in case dads health issues get worse..
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Lindy, like Jam says, give her a little time to settle into the routine at the NH. You will wear yourself out even more going back and forth every day. Or if you must go to reassure yourself, don't stay so long. Easy to say, I know.

Notlike, bless your heart!!! And I thought I had a bad day yesterday!!! NOT!! You humble me. Wishing a better day for you today............

Welcome to all the new posters. Remember that a problem shared is a problem halved. We are hear for you in any way we can help.

Anyone heard from Rosella lately? She must be working hard again.

Looks like it will be another 4 months before we get puppies. Momma had a false pregnancy, so she is retired. But, the extra time will allow us to settle the mil issue and bury my parents' cremains. Maybe even take a vacation to the northeast. If I wasn't so picky about wanting an OES and would settle for a Lab, I would have had puppies by now. As it is, I will have waited 10 months........I could have given birth myself!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! NOT!!!!

The lilac bush and river birch trees grew leaves overnight. I can hear the hosta growing. May start tilling the garden this weekend if the weather holds. Life does go on............

Hope you all have a wonderful day with few problems.......hugs to all.
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Good Morning Posse!

It's good to read from you lindy although you don't have good news to share with us and I'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time! You do have the HONOR of winning the COW PATTIE for posting #6500....woohoo! The first thing we need to work on is drying up your tears....they make your face red and splotchy and stuff up your nose.....you know Mom is being taken care of because you took the time to find a great home for her...if the doctor wants to start Mom on some Zoloft then by all means do so, it's a pretty benign medication and if she hasn't been on an anti-depressant prior to this then that is a plus. The change is hard on all of you but needed to be done before you were hurt physically and Mom might have been hurt because of the need for more help. I know you will find it hard to take a step back but that is what needs to be done at this time.....as long as you are spending every hour you can with her, she will not start to acclimate herself to her new surroundings. It's time for you to concentrate on getting yourself back, spending time with your husband, and allowing Mom the chance to start making her new home her "home"....and she won't do that if she thinks there is a chance you will relent and take her back home with you. Remember that you did all of this out of love for your mother....you want the best of care for her and that shows in realizing your limitations and finding a home that will care for her properly. Stay with us and we will help you through this....hugs to you!

Welcome BS0213......selfish siblings seem to be a common denominator with care givers. And there isn't anything you can do to change the way they are. So you will probably have to look at outside help or a place for Mom until you are able to care for her. Or this could be the time for all of you to look at placing Mom. Your health should be your #1 priority....without that you can't do much caring for anyone else. Come back and visit with us and let us keep you from falling into the black hole of burn out.....

seeme.......we had lightening and thunder yesterday morning....yep that girl just walked into church....:)
ladee.....the rain should be moving away from you and we will be getting a little more today but that should be it. Hope no detours to work this morning.....
notlike.....hope Mom settles herself down....you just amaze me, you are such a good daughter and give of yourself daily and too often have it thrown right back at you.....you are very valuable to us!
Vic.....are you swimming yet? This rain should have reached you by now.....I don't want to quack alone...:) Hope things have gotten better between you and Mom....maybe it's time for you to get away for a few days.

I'm thinking of you all today and hoping for a day of peace.....sending angels to watch over you as you go about your day!

Happy Trails,
Jam
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Morning all.. Prayers for all of us in our various caregiving situations...I pray for us to get some much needed rest and respite.
Talked to dads doc yesterday...results of bloodwork showed some inflammation ..suggesting that it is coming from marrow. Uric acid level was good... Doc suggested that we talk to hematologist when we go for his shot next week. He is sending test results over. So basically no help yet with his rigid body. I know in my head I am doing everything I can to keep dad comfortable but sure hate to see him in this shape and my heart tells me to keep pushing.
It is frustrating because he has so many things thing wrong with him but all in all not any one reason he is in the shape he is in. Mom is declining little by little but still able to take care of herself. Moving slower more back pain
I see her worry with dad as he gets confused in the day. We are feeding him more often.
Ah well.. Sucks getting old and having to depend on someone to take care of you.
Hope and pray that we all have a decent day
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Feeling better today, got some cough meds yesterday, at least was able to sleep most of the night....
Sonny went to the Dr. yesterday about his BP, hope I can get a straight answer from Marie today... Sonny has declined this past winter... but as I have said before he is very social, and all she does is set in her chair and watch tv and read the paper... but he is more frail and not as steady on his feet.... makes me so very sad, I hate this disease, hate it with a passion...
Sorry some of you are having such a down time right now... wishing I could come and give you all the respite care you needed... that would be my ideal job, traveling around, helping the people I have met on here, and giving back for all you all have given me.... maybe one day.... who knows what God has planned...
Love you all, and maybe today all we can do is put one foot in front of the other...hugs
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Notlike, sorry that mom is , well, mom.... And crying is good, just means we have reached the end of our rope.... let's the pressure off, we do get weary from getting our feelings hurt... and to not be told about medical issues is too much.. How are you supposed to provide care when you don't know what is going on.... I am so sorry, and am sending you a Texas size hug, but with my face covered... I have some serious lung crud that is taking it's toll on me with the coughing... it's something going around... will go to the Dr. next week if I'm not better...
Welcome to all new posters... good place to put your feelings and get up and do this job all over again....
hugs and angels to all of you...
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Tried to scan the posts, but I am too tired and upset to think tonight. Will say a prayer for everyone.
My horrible day started last night with finding out Mom is keeping medical things from me. Like the results of an appointment I set up for her. And once again having her not appreciate me, after an hour in 80 degree heat setting up a bird bath and feeder for her to watch.
Woke up today and I knew it was Friday, until it turned out not to be. Dropping things, crying jags, a patient with bed bugs, and my cell phone walked away by itself.
I wish I knew why I've felt like crying all day. It's not my usual response to troubles. I guess things just pile up in my heart. Ah well, keeping calm and carrying on...
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
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Lindy I know it is hard to have to place someone in a nursing home but it was time for you-you just could not take care of her-you are visiting a lot and that helps-she will adjust soon-maybe the Zoloft will help her at least in the beginning-bless you-soon she will get into the activities and will realize that is where she needs to be.
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Well my daughter parent teacher conference went well...just needs to be more vocal but overall the best well behaved student you'd expect. On top of that she has protectors and admirers...my girl just brings a smile to anyone...i hope to be over this thing soon..
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Hi this is Lindy. I had to place mom in a skilled nursing facilty, it took me a while to find a great one. I am having a hard time and so is she, she cries, and then I cry, filled with guilt. I can not take care of her, need 3 people to move her, she fracture her ankle, and now thing are worse then before. My thoughts are full of her, and I have trouble sleeping some nights. I have a great home, husband, but I am with her most of the day, and when I leave I am emotionally drained. She is in a great place, the change is hard for her, and me. I wish she would say I will be find, but she cries, now the Dr. wants to try Zoloft to brighten her day, and control anxiety, I think I need it too! :(
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