This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
cmag, happy to hear you have found a Dr. you are feeling you can make some progress with.....and try not to feel any anxiety about telling the previous Dr. It is a sign of growth when you know you have outgrown your Dr. and it is time for a new one....
Hugs to everyone....
Who is Lizard....did I fall asleep and miss someone......:) I love your posts ASG!
I am very sorry for people who could be better if the drugs didn't cost 3000 dollars. I am starting to understand why Marie is bad tempered, sometimes.
I am sorry for those of you who have to take care of POA and legal and bureaucratic problems. As if someone didn't have enough to do already.
We don't have storms here but it's cold and we are all gathered around the stove.
Ladee take care.... If Diva is scared, let her sleep in your closet.
Good night! Rozella
I would say to oldwonderful that just because the NH is now the home of your loved one, it doesn't mean you are not still the caregiver-you are and your presence makes all the difference. The care is the same, it's the location that's changed.
yeah I am loving ASG's posts, it's always a surprise.....
A great friend sent me some 'auto correct' stuff today, my fave is 'Jesus, Mary and Jerome", I laughed until I was crying.... so keep it comin ASG.... love ya....
I'm being asphyxiated and apparently I'm going to have to move. The col's dog jumped up on the opposite side of the bed and laid down.........okay, he's not bothering anyone. But then it's bad enough that he burps like a beer-swilling Bubba....now he is farting like one..............geez Louise this dog stinks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Burned, sorry you are having to go thru all this crap just to be able to still be employed and keep a roof over ya'll's head...... prayers for you....
We got some major rain and wind this morning....don't even want to think about this spring.....
ttyl, hugs....
CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY.......... FAR, FAR, FAR AWAY. WHERE NO ONE CAN FIND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm thinking about entering the witness protection program. Anybody know WHO i need to contact???????? love and hugs stormyyy