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Stormy ditto! To what Jam is saying! We love you and worry will must make everything worse...
For me day started out ok..now I am down don't know why..just feeling bummed. Tired I guess.
Burned..my prayers are with you..eat yogurt will help..you are in my heart and prayers
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stormy......your doctor took a culture.....that's all. You had a sebaceous cyst.....they are NEVER cancerous. Antibiotics are normal treatment....now stop worrying. Please...:)
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I know i shouldn't worry, its just that cancer runs in the family as you know dad has it my grandmother, dad's mom had esophagus cancer and brother had the skin cancer. Brother said that the culture would tell if there were cancer cells and sis said that it wouldn't. Just kinds of infections like staph. So which one is it? sis said i would have to have a biospy for them to be able to tell if there were cancer cells.
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I had my exam done and had a yeast infection...new thing off n on for awhile is pimples down there....so gross...i am not having them on my face...but also have vaginosis....what the heck is that yet considered normal....least they know I do not fool around with my husband the way he is lol...oh well school, milk and med for me ttyal Peace N God Bless..
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stormy.....it's normal to send things off to pathology......don't worry about it. It will be fine.
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OK the more i think about this culture the doctor took the more i am worried about it........
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Ladee and Jam- I know i feel that neice is out of control and things need to be looked into. Sis went on equa fax to check out dads credit. And it still was good. And the only thing that she saw was about neices car. It said she had 3 more payments left to pay. Sis seems to think the reason she told the people at the bank that she was poa was so she could find out how many more payments she had left. And she could not find out anything cause it did not have her name on the contract for the car so she told them she had poa so they would tell her. Now that is what sis thinks is her reasoning. I think that she had no right or there was no reason for her to say she had poa. She could have called sis and asked her to find out for her. There is no excuse for her doing that. Whatever the reason.
Also she(neice) had told sis about a month ago that she was going to try to get her a credit card. Then about 2 weeks ago she tells sis that she got one with a limit of 5000.00 dollars. How in the hell does someone with bad credit get a credit line with that much. Just worries me. Told hubby about all this last night and he thinks we should tell dad what all has been going on with her. He says that we are sorry (me and sis) if we don't tell him. I feel he should know too. But sis i know is just trying to keep the peace. I think she is being too naive about neice. I would love to know how she got that credit card. And what all else she has got too.
Well i went to the dr for my cyst and she cut it that hurt somewhat but when she started mashing that thing, good lord that did hurt. She took a culture of it and said that they would call me in a few days with the results and said that it looked like i might have some staph infection in their. How lovely!!!! She put me on 2 different kinds of antibiotics for 10 days. Got to take 5 of them suckers a day. Next i hope i don't get a yeast infection. Ahhhh the joys of womanhood!!!!! Sorry to gross ya'll out soo early in the day just thought ya'll might want to know what she said. So i will find out more in a few days. I hope ya'll have a lovely day!!! I got to go pick up my meds and go to dads to relieve brother that has been there an HOUR. Love and hugs stormyyyyy.
P.S mis- I got the poochie bells and the panic button. Lily has been using the bells she still has had a couple of accidents but it is just going to take time. Have not set up the panic button yet but will check it out tonight. Thank you again so much for sending the bells and the button to me. Love and hugs to you stormyyyyy
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Good Morning Posse!

stormy.......I have to agree with ladee.....you and your family need to put a stop to everything right now. It doesn't matter whether or not this is a niece.....she apparently doesn't care what she has done to Grandpa or the rest of you. Okay, so she falsified a POA to the bank.....has she taken money out of Dad's account? How about credit cards in his name? She's hurting your Dad......I would be kicking some butt.......the first thing to do this morning is for sis to GO to the bank, get the real POA on file there, open a new account and freeze his old accounts. That way if she is taking the money or has automatic payments coming out, that stops. You asked how to find out what else she has done? By being proactive. I know it's a shocking thing to realize this is family but she has committed a crime. We care about you or we wouldn't be telling you all this..................

Vic.....don't look at it as complaining....only wishful thinking out loud. But glad your parent had visitors.......nice for all of you. And soup sounds yummy......

I hoping today the col doesn't continue to complain about coming home. It's so hard to tell her that she can't. Target explained over and over that she physically wasn't well enough to do that and had to be able to get out of the wheelchair. The problem is her mind tells her she stands and walks all the time. I learn everyday what I get to look forward to........................:)

I hope everyone has a good day...........will check back with y'all later..........

Happy Trails,
Jam
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What a mess Stormy, but you know what, sometimes you just have to take the moral high road and do what is best, I would not be emotionally black mailed into not filing charges..... This young lady is not being done any favors by not making her pay consequences for her actions....it's a horrible position for your sis to be in, but so is being the victim, and that is what this girl has done to your family, made ya'll the victim.... possibly it will be out of ya'll hands by her being dishonest with the bank.....but time to put the big girl panties on and do what needs to be done... no telling what all ya'll are going to find out before this is over.....I feel bad for everyone involved.... keep us informed..... does your dad know what is going on??? I hope not in a way, it will be very upsetting to him, but maybe he needs to know, on the other hand, and he may insist something legal be done....hugs
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There is more mess going on with my neice. Gotta be quick about this cause i got to go get in the shower. I got a call at dads yesterday from the bank and they were wanting to talk to dad and i told them that i was his daughter and that he couldnt talk. Then they asked if i was my neice's name. And i said no and gave them my name. They gave me a # for dad to call them. And what that was about was my dad signed for my neice, his granddaughter to get a car. It is in dads name only. He was going to co sign for her but her credit was too bad. So he just put it in his name. She makes the payments. Well i called sis and told her about the phone call and she called the bank and they said that they had on record that my neice HAS POWER OF ATTORNEY, AND SHE DOES NOT, MY SISTER DOES. So my sis could not find out much information from them except that she is a long ways off from paying the car off. And neice had just told sis that she had made the last payment or was going to soon and the title to the car should be coming in the mail soon, that girl is got to be in some mess. We just don't know the extent of it. But sis had sent in a poa sometime not to long ago to the bank. I told her to send another one in along with a copy of her driver's licenses. So they will know who she is. Sounds like neice is fooling around with identity theft to me. That girl has got problems. I think more than what we realized. Now how do we find out what else she has done? Gotta go, i will talk to ya'll later. Love and hugs stormyyyy
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Well we made it to church yesterday..was easier since hubby was her to help. Dad had a decent day until late afternoon. Started getting fidgety .. He did eat a decent meal. A little while ago he was trying to get out of bed..called me to come help him get up. He needed to call his buddy that he had been talking to about his car ..something about it not working right. He said he wanted to get up so he could call him back and tell him he was sorry he couldn't help him. ...I told him he was probably in bed by now..dad said didn't you hear me talking to him and the phone ringing..told him no...try to go back to sleep.
Here I was commenting yesterday about folks not calling or visiting.. After church one of my friends said she would like to come visit. Told her thanks and that early afternoons are pretty good. Figuring I would hear from her sometime or maybe not..you know good intentions and all. Well she called late afternoon and wondered if she could come visit. She brought soup and homemade bread and stayed with mom and dad a good hour! How generous and how bad of me to be complaining! By the way the food was fantastic. Pray we all have a good day.
Notlike..dad likes the ricolas..now when I go with parents to docs. If something comes up I try to ask is ths or that correct in my telling them so parents hear the doc validifying what I try to do at home. It works ...sometimes ☺
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Vic and Ladee- yup, the doctor is king. Hubby and I even gave Mom a bunch of ideas to help soothe her throat and un-stuff her nose-Vicks, cough drops, hard candy, smoothie, ect. She went with the Vicks, but nothing else. She says she's tried many things in her life and they don't work. Can't argue with that, didn't even try.
Carol-you may have done this already, but how about taking family pictures and her momentos to the NH? Surrounding her with things she cares about might make it easier for her. Hugs.
Burned-Lock yourself in the bathroom if you must! And take a deep breath. Take your time in 5 minute breaks if you neeed too. Remember, breaks are NOT to hurt your family, they are to help you clear your mind and heart so you can continue to do the stressful job you are doing. Hugs.
Must call chemo doc this morning and let her know Mom is sick. DK if there will be chemo tomorrow or not.
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ASG, thanks, I did love my lady Ruth and yes it was tough at times... but my main stressor was bg as you said, we see each other in town and don't even speak.... I miss her husband.... but not her....I said if I got away from there in one piece I would never look back....I do know I will live in a cardboard box before I ever do live in again.....some families just will not listen to the caregiver in charge of thier loved one and it makes our job ten times harder than it needs to be... I walk with a limp now.... and think about Ruth when my leg is really hurting, but she is not the one I am mad at. Bg is the one I am mad at, it didn't have to happen.... and Ruth ended up dieing because of an undiagnosed UTI in that atrocious NH bg stuck her in.... don't get me wrong, I am very grateful Ruth is happy and whole and would not change that part if I could.... it's just so much abuse went on to Ruth and to this day bg does not see it as abuse..... living in, too much is learned about the family and you are an outsider and your hands are tied.... until I called the home health nurse and told her what was going on.... she stepped in..... I have never shared what I saw done to Ruth that weekend, and if for no other reason, I would still have nothing to do with Bg when that was all over..... And I was blessed to have Ruth, we did have some really good times.... and being cursed in German is quite an experiance....but I still miss her ASG... I miss her a lot....
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I am so tired right now and cooking dinner atm ....then hopefully kids will be in bed soon...i have to pick up daughter in the afternoon and go get some more milk etc and my antidepressant ....just so flat out depressed ....trying to cheer myself up is harder than ever...I guess i am still lost in grief and worried that hubby may keel over before his next appt with the cardiologist,,,any advice to help a mother on burnout....i havent had a moment to myself it seems but trying...
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Welcome to all the new posters. I am no longer taking care of my mom, as she died in September, but I do read and jump in here once in a while. I took care of her for 5 years total, but only found this site about 10 months ago. Hopefuly you will benefit as much as I have. Stick around and chat for a spell....
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ASG..thanks for sharing..how much stronger you are and how faith filled you are. God gives us strength. So proud I found you on this site. You have given me much hope thank you dear one!
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Just got off the phone with hubby's brother who has my MIL living with him. Either she got into the melatonin to the point she drugged herself into confusion, or she is dehydrated and/or UTI. It never ends. She is the last one left now.....and I just hope she is left in SC and not here. If she is still so confused tomorrow, they will take her in and get things checked out. They were just calling to inform us, but I could tell my bil was upset with the level of confusion. She didn't know whose house she was in , couldn't remember the g/sons names.....and hubby is supposed to take her back to Maine in April....to live by herself. Part of the problem is she never met a pill she wouldn't take. I just can't do it just yet. NOTHING will stop me from getting my puppies!!!
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ASG...........COW PATTIE!!!!!! Woohoo!!
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Thank you Tina....I appreciate that and yes I do feel better. We just got off the phone with her and she is demanding to come home. So we tell her what the criteria is for coming home and ask if she can meet those.....her response is "you're a doctor, you figure it out"......oh my.....thank goodness the thought will be gone by now. I may love her and want the best for her, but I'm not about to put myself back into that situation. I honestly think it would incapacitate me. And I'm going to Vegas soon....lol.
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JAM you did a wonderful job with col. I don't know how you did it. I can see a change in you from them. You seem soooo relaxed now. You really did make the right decision. Now you and Target can focus on her not the caregiving. Ladee you to with Ruth my goodness. I could tell how much you loved her,you put up with even more from bg. That was tough. You handled it so well. RUTH was sooo lucky to have you.
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ASG, personality disorders can be treated, but it takes a lot of hard work and first of all they have to come to see they need help and are willing to work on it.
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Ladeeda....your rock hunting sounds like a lot of fun. I loved rocks when I was a kid. We have all kinds of them up here.
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Thank you Jam...and Ladeeda. And yes you are right. I agree with you.
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ASG, thank you for sharing all that from your past, you are one awesome woman, mom and wife, and thank God for B who is a great dad and husband....... all those prayers brought you thru, and you were blessed... and we are happy you survived all that and came out the other side the loving woman you are...
And you didn't need to tell the kids the truth... you made a very wise choice, if they came to not like him, it was because of HIM, not anything you told the kids....
Do not misunderstand what I am about to say, I do not feel sorry for him in any shape for or fashion, but it is sad that he will never experiance what great kids you have...... his loss.....love and hugs.....
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ASG........BIG hugs to you darlin............glad you aren't in that mess anymore...you have a husband that loves you, wonderful children and the col's twin......:)
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Anita I understand your frustration. Don't remove Mom from the waiting list, she may be first before you know it. And if you're not ready when she is, you can always say no, move me back a little. My mil...affectionately known as the col.....always told us to never put her in a NH...she would hate it and die. She had been living in her own home built onto ours since Nov 09. We had help 5 days a wk, from 10 to 4pm. Her dementia was getting worse, she was incontinent of bladder and bowel and that was getting worse. She refused to use a cane, then a walker, bought her a lift chair and she couldn't get the hang of it. We had to padlock the front door to keep her from wandering off or walking into a 2-lane highway. The back yard was fenced and locked. One night last Oct I found her on the floor, lacerations to her face and hubby made the decision to place her right then. It was wearing on me badly, even though I had help with her, I still was the main care giver and I was angry, tired, frustrated, tired, tired and tired......I am on medical retirement after 25 yrs in EMS....so physically I couldn't take care of her properly. We put her in a NH telling her it was rehab, and she has done great....not a single word about dying from being there. She loves the food, says everyone is so nice and she even gets out there and plays Bingo, she mingles with the other ladies, after all is said and done, it was the best thing we ever did. We got our life together back, she is being taken care of....I don't have to worry about her falling if I turn my back, don't have to find her sitting in the bathroom playing with what should have been in the toilet.....:) It's a personal decision that has to be made or not by everyone. There is no room for feeling guilty about any decision....I have always said that when you recognize your own limitations the placing is done out of love and caring.....not out of selfishness. Hugs to you!

Happy Trails,
Jam
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Its amazing to me how much different my life is from 15the years ago. I look at that scared young me and it seems like I was living in a bad movie.thank god it only lasted about 3 years. Ive always felt I was lucky I survived all that. I see young women like myself...who wasn't as lucky as me. Who either died from the abuse or got wound up with the drugs and have one heck of a bad life. Through it all I never stopped praying. Never let the things I saw desensitize me to that life and think it was o.k. or normal. I have nightmares very rarely now...but am able to wake up and go about my day and not let him hurt me anymore.Holy cow im crying now. But not in a bad way. I haven't talked about these things in so long.
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And yes most people don't like him. He has never even had one or two good friends. Even many people in him family refuses to allow him in there house.
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Can they ever reform them or treat them for that? The personality disorders?
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C mag...interesting to hear youto side...being the child. I have always hoped I made the right decisions. When they were little a couple friends told me...why don't you tell the kids he truth...let them know he can be dangerous. I remember struggling win it. Wondering if I was doing the right thing.plus I had to take parenting classes for the divorce. Of coarse he didn't have to. Cause he was in jail at the time.
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