This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Kids..well you do have to stay on top of them or they learn they can run all over you! Don't know if I could have handled this when they were little..but we do surprise ourselves! God doesn't give us more than we can handle! I know I know...while we are going through it is really seems crazy but when we look back..we see He was always there. Love and prayers for a good day in all our situations!
Up with the chickens again today! BRRRRRRR.......it's 13 degrees out there!
Welcome Marj........glad to see you join us and just jump right in and post whenever and whatever you want. I read your profile and it's refreshing to read how you are getting along with the caregiving. Your mil sounds like mine was in the beginning....except for the appetite. Mine always tried to tell me how large she was and even though she had an appetite like a lumberjack in truth she was 5'4" and 120lbs before she lost weight, then we managed to put that back on her this last year. Her mind is now gone to where as soon as the words are out of our mouth she forgets. So come back and visit with us.....we love making new friends and this thread has wonderful care givers and very compassionate ladies....and sometimes CMag pops out of his man-cave.
ASG......I sure hope we can get the lake house sold this year since we can't convince ladee to come here and buy it.....:) The kids would probably like swimming in Wheatland park. Sounds like Aunt is having some good days....I'm glad for that. Is everyone feeling better? I saw on your FB post where hubby wasn't feeling well.
stormy.....don't let that cyst go too long....you don't need an infection. Sorry to hear Dad might be getting another one. How's sis? Is she prone to kidney stones?
sorry for the long day today ladee.....but if you take your lap then I'll probably see you on FB.
Ladies please check in so we know how you are getting along.........hubby is taking me to lunch today and we will be visiting with the col also....must check her ears and make sure they are working....last time there I was having to hunt down a quilt so I need to find out if they ever found it. It's so much more cheerful for her than the green bedspread that is provided for her. Will check back in later....hope everyone has a great day!
Happy Trails,
Jam
And if you've been reading this thread for awhile, you know us, now we would love to get to know you.... just jump right in.... it was very refreshing to hear that things are good for you in so many areas....we need to hear things like that, it gives us hope....so hope we see you again...
ASG, I love reading your posts anyway, but especially now with your new phone.... it's like a puzzle, we get to try and see what you 'meant'.... and great suggestions for being a mom with added responsibility of caregiving... does Stormy know how many little ones you have???? I always love reading your posts ASG, and wish we heard from you more often..... love and hugs...
Ok, we are going to try the long day again today.... that's why I am up so early... did sleep all night, AFTER calling the cops on the illegals and their music at 10:30, am starting a search today for another place to park this thing I live in.... I am too old and cranky too keep putting up with the crap that goes on here all the time....said I am going to cut my stress this year, and living somewhere else will definetly be one less thing to be upset about....
But the good news it they know me at the police dept. now, so I all I have to do is give my name and they know why I'm calling....sometimes it takes them 30 minutes or more to come out, during those times I am setting here thinking, hey, I know how to get them here faster, and all the beautiful visions of me out there with a baseball bat breaking all the windows out of the guys truck goes thru my head..... he sets in his truck to listen to his music..... so after awhile the bass and my heartbeat are the same.... one of these days, one of these days.......they don't speak English, I don't speak Spanish, but a baseball bat is universal, especially with a fat old tired lady on the other end of it..... but they don't let you smoke or have internet in jail, so those are my deterants..... so far.
Ok, gonna go make the big bucks today.... as ASG would say, blink blink, ok......
Going to take my laptop today, after I get all the Suzy Homemaker crap done, think I will play some games and just let Sonny rearrange the whole house if he wants to.... yep, that is where my mind is today....
Love, hugs and angels to you all today.... later, much later....
Well, I thought the cow pattie was a lucky charm. And i'm going to keep on thinking that. Glad i got one!!!! Thanks for all the congratulations on getting one ya'll.
Jam- Lily Lou is doing some better with the bathroom issue. But she still has her accidents. So i am hoping the poochie bells work that mis is sending me in the mail. They might be here this weekend along with the panic button(life alert).
Everything is pretty much the same on the front with dad, although me and sis thinks he is getting that neck infection again that looks like a yeast infection around his trach tube. ugh. It's something all the time.
And me and sis have not felt too great this week. Her back has been bothering her and she thought that she maybe having some kidney stones. So i was having to take care of her and dad today.
And then i have developed a huge cyst under my breast that will not pop. I have never had one there before. Although i have been plagued with cystic acne for years but that has gotten better since i started going to a dermatologist. The cyst is just sore. If it has not drained by monday i am going to the dr to see if they can do something for it. Well, i fell asleep trying to get connor asleep so i think i am going back to bed now. Night all. love and hugs stormyyyyyyy
burned....glad to hear you got some rest. And yes, you shouldn't try to take on the burden of a sil.....not your responsibility, especially right now. We might find you sitting in the corner talking to yourself.
stormy.....how's Lily and the housebreaking? Saw that you finally got your cow pattie....woohoo!
ladee.....so glad you had a regular day....doesn't that feel good when you realize you can go home and relax? Hope you got a good nap.
Hope everyone is having a peaceful night...you're all in my thoughts every day.....and prayers are sent for each of you that your burdens will be light.
Happy Trails,
Jam
Sheila, a cow pattie is something that cows leave in the pasture after they have had lunch.... AND it the prize you get when you post with the last number being 00, something we started at the begining of the thread and it' just stuck, sort of like a cow pattie in the pasture.....
hope everyone had a good day, later, hugs...
C-mag- meant to post to you last night. So happy for you and the wife. This is wonderful news for all of you. Now ya'll can go out and celebrate (LIFE)!!!!!
Ros- that is a big personality. Sounds like ya'll are two peas in a pod. Glad that she is a good match for you.
Well, better go check on pops. I hope all of ya'll have a great day!!!! Love and hugs stormyyyy
Semee-glad you are feeling better. I've been sneezing alot - hope I don't get a cold.
Vic-Lately, I've had so many errands to run, I stop a couple of places after work. It is nice to delay homecoming some nights. I won't be able to do that when Mom gets sicker, so I do it while I can. My sis lives 800 miles away. She is great support on the phone and by email, though. I'm blessed to have her.
Welcome to the new posters. You are going through alot. Blessings and hugs.
Still quiet at Casa Crazy. Dad's first treatment is tomorrow. And more chemo for Mom next week.
Have a great day!
mis, good to hear from you... how awesome the things you are finding.... and the autograph book, priceless.... hope you get to go north and have a good time, you and hubby deserve it... think about you often.... hugs
Stormy, Dorothy is:
as smart as a fox
as hungry as a shark
as happy as a skylark
as fast as a hare
as stubborn as a donkey.
A big personality in a very small dog.
cmag- that's good news. Give Ms.cmag a hug for me. I know you two are relieved of the news.
seeme- glad that you're feeling better and M is on a normal shift. I'm younger than you and I got to bed anywhere from 8:30-9pm cause I got to get up so early.
stormy- yahoo!!! you have a cowpattie. :)
Yesterday, I finally got some cleaning done while the chili was simmering in the crockpot and even made a dozen of cookies. I was tired by the time my hubby got home. I did find a newspaper from 1851, now that thing is pretty darn old. We put it in a safer place. Also we found grandma's high school diploma and an autograph book from her senior year that was pretty cool to read through. One of our neighbors called and was checking up on us and was wondering if we were still going to be neighbors and I told her that we were. She was relieved. My hubby goes over plows their driveway since her husband can't do that stuff anymore. Speaking of snow we're suppose to get some tomorrow night. I wished it would hold off cause we're suppose to head north depending on the roads. Spring can hurry up and get here. Hope everyone has a good day and talk at ya later.
River, glad to see you back, I don't think of it as the internet per se, I've known some of these ladies for a long time and it's more like setting down and drinking coffee with friends, or drinking rum or all the other stuff we talk about here... not just caregiving... tho that is our main focus... we get silly sometimes, but you will feel the genuine love and support here.... thanks for filling out your profile, it helps us to get to know you.... and you get to know us.... hugs from all of us to you....
Yipeeeeee- I got the cow pattie!!!!!! Hugs stormyyyy
I would not lay a finger on him nor raise my voice, and I would have him saying yes ma'm in about ten minutes...... he is a good boy, most all kids are good... but I wouldn't be a young mom again for anything... after all we are now calling my son, Hairy Fairy....but that is a statement about his adult choices.... not the way he was raised... that's my story and I'm sticking to it...... going to bed, long day tomorrow... hugs to everyone....