This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Dorothy is well and she is a doll. Two of my friends came to see me on Saturday and as though it was nice to see them - they are the only ones who didn't disappear - they criticized me for taking Dorothy. They said "You complain you have no money and no work and you adopt another dog?" And I said I am having such a difficult period that I needed something happy in my life. And they asked me: "Do you want something happy, and you take a dog?" (Actually they love dogs). And I asked: "Do you have other suggestions? Shoud I go out with people more often? Should I have a nice trip? Should I go to the hair stylist more often?" Goodness, people don't have a clue. They don't know that any time I want to do something for myself or spend some time for myself I have to plan carefully, save money, (a lot of money) and so on and so on. When they feel like going out and have a pizza they just do it! They don't have a clue. It was nice to see them anyway.
And she called me all the time, but never by my name...it was either Benny, her brother, Sharon, her daughter or mama...... especially at night, BEEEENNNNNYY, BEEEEENNNNNYYYYY, I'd get up , go in there and she would need the whole bed changed at 2 in the morning.....so I understand how you feel... don't want to not check just in case something is wrong.... walk ourselves to death.... how is Dorothy??????
notlikemom, how is mom doing on the chemo, is she getting sick??? I hope not, I have often wondered if I would go thru that , guess it would depend on a lot of things..... what kind, where it was, when was it caught, ect..... glad you and dad got out for a little while today.... and she was quite about it????? Hmmm, you'll probably hear about it tomorrow....
hugs everyone, going to zzzzzzzzzz town....
I have one problem lately with my mother. She calls me all the time. I am doing the cooking? "Rossella, Rossella, Rossella, Rossella, Rossella!" When I go to her, she has nothing to tell me. I dust the library in another room? She calls me again. I go to the bathroom? She calls me again. Every time I say to myself that I have to take my time, because if I hurry up to go to her, I know she has nothing to tell me. But when you are in the bathroom and somebody calls you all the time, you hurry up.
This is another stage of her disease and it makes me crazy.... She is scared of everything, of what watches on TV (anything! She can see just music and dance programs, because if in the TV there are 2 people talking, even if it is a soap, a sit-com, something happy, she thinks those people are scolding her, or they are in our house to steal everything! Oh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Ladee-It must be scary to see seizures like your son has. Blessings. They said Mom could get them with the brain tumors, so I am filling away the info in case I need it later.
Vic-good Pony poop line. :) Glad you had a nice day. My Packers lost, too. i think we need to meet in the Laundry Room for a looser's drink!
Everything went well at church and brunch. Mom wasn't too happy that Dad and I went, but she was pretty quiet about it. She gave me permission to message the doc because we still haven't heard anything about adding the radiation and her next chemo is next week. We'll see what they say.
Here's to the start of another week. Courage, strength, and hope to all.
Sheila, we'll have to give the name of your book some thought.... mind is a great big blank this evening....
I'm sleepy and it is way too early to go to bed..... can't drink any more coffee, so I will have to get up and move around.... OH NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Symptoms depend on how severe the stroke is and what part of the brain is affected. Symptoms may include:
Change in alertness (including sleepiness, unconsciousness, and coma)
Changes in hearing
Changes in taste
Changes that affect touch and the ability to feel pain, pressure, or different temperatures
Clumsiness
Confusion or loss of memory
Difficulty swallowing
Difficulty writing or reading
Dizziness or abnormal feeling of movement (vertigo)
Lack of control over the bladder or bowels
Loss of balance
Loss of coordination
Muscle weakness in the face, arm, or leg (usually just on one side)
Numbness or tingling on one side of the body
Personality, mood, or emotional changes
Problems with eyesight, including decreased vision, double vision, or total loss of vision
Trouble speaking or understanding others who are speaking
Trouble walking
It is key to get to the ER ASAP.
My husband Alan has had three strokes since April. The indicator for the first one was when he was unable to dress himself properly--wrong limbs in pants and arm holes--and a decrease in the functioning of his left arm. The second one was his stating that he wanted to go home while we were watching TV--in our home. The third one was a drooped mouth, inability to swallow and slurred speech.
As you can see, there is a wide range of symptoms.
Hope everyone is having a good day.....I'm bored and whining!
Another practical use for Depends is to wear them while shopping at the mall. Saves having to interrupt shopping to go to restrooms. Just kidding, just kidding. Or am I?
Sorry dads new undies aren't comfortable for him Vic, are they too tight somewhere or he just knows it's something different??? If they end up not working for him, you can wear them when you finally get to sleep and not have to worry about going to the bathroom... just a thought....
Need to get going and get the laundry thing over with... then I can leave them in the basket and sometime go to work wrinkled somewhere besides me face, I just look at it as 'caregiver camouflage'. You ever notice how we tend to put distance with someone who has on wrinkled clothes... well, it keeps people off of me at Walmart...my big outing for the week... woo hoo... we are just pathetic sometimes, so I am grateful that we have each other and understand about things like this... ya'll have a good one.... love and hugs...
Ok..here's one..I am grateful for all the poop..he isn't stopped up!
Sheila..well the undies work but he keeps pulling them down or calling me so he can pee..oh well
Plan on taking folks to church today..just depends on how dad seems. Can't do what I did last weeks when he was barely able to function. Will see what morning brings.
Had a good day yesterday..ran a few errands, enjoyed lunch with a good friend and vegetated...and clothes..well they are all clean .. Basket and ironing board full! Hahahaha
Watched my beloved Saints game..boy it was an exciting game! Boohoo they lost....
Did rest and the pain eased up so..guess I am ready for another day.
Love and prayers you guys for the best day possible! We are all ponies for doing this job..man proposes and God disposes.
Here's my last one-
I'm grateful for the lack of time because I'm so far behind that I'll never catch up and no longer feel guilty for playing FB games, reading, or sleeping when I can.
Sleep well everybody.
I'm grateful that I can't do everything for myself anymore, because my daughter and son-in-law do it for me.
I'm grateful that a car accident f*cked up my foot so that I can't wear heels and pretty shoes anymore, because I save so much money.
I'm grateful that a car accident f*cked up my foot so I can't walk far, because I get the prime parking spots with my handicap license plate.
It IS fun.
I love the pony story!!! I'll go with it...
I'm grateful we move the furnature around so much because it's like coming home to a new house quite often.
I don't mind getting rid of alot of my decorations and extra kitchen things because then I can go shopping for more.
I don't mind all the doctor appointments because there's no reason for me to eat apples (apple a day keeps the doctor away).
Hey, this is kind of fun.
Have a good night everyone. It's been pretty quiet here today.
What is Foot Drop?
Foot drop describes the inability to raise the front part of the foot due to weakness or paralysis of the muscles that lift the foot. As a result, individuals with foot drop scuff their toes along the ground or bend their knees to lift their foot higher than usual to avoid the scuffing, which causes what is called a “steppage” gait. Foot drop can be unilateral (affecting one foot) or bilateral (affecting both feet). Foot drop is a symptom of an underlying problem and is either temporary or permanent, depending on the cause. Causes include: neurodegenerative disorders of the brain that cause muscular problems, such as multiple sclerosis, stroke, and cerebral palsy; motor neuron disorders such as polio, some forms of spinal muscular atrophy and amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease); injury to the nerve roots, such as in spinal stenosis; peripheral nerve disorders such as Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease or acquired peripheral neuropathy; local compression or damage to the peroneal nerve as it passes across the fibular bone below the knee; and muscle disorders, such as muscular dystrophy or myositis.
Just spent the last 20 minutes posting about the banana and the knives for Sheila, and lost the damned thing.... AC is getting on my nerves with this crap, so will try again tomorrow, don't feel like trying again right now.... but Ruth was a character, that's for sure....love and hugs...
P.S. Oh i don't mind washing and drying the clothes, I guess cause the machines do all the work it's just the folding and putting up....
Like Jam said, there's a world of info online.
Ladeeda ~ Sorry you're feeling blue. Grieving sucks. It's soooooo painful. Cyber huts. I missed the knives and bananas situation. Sounds verrrrrry interesting.
Hi anne.....good to hear from you again!
ladee....I remember well the trauma of the fx leg and bananas and knives.....big hugs sister....
sheila.........they sent me to the back of the line......