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sure rw, let's hear the story, I am awake for a little while.... glad you came back...
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If you all want to know about the "story" as sad as it is true let me know
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by the way yes mom has a torn acl but can't get the ortho specialist to repond. Makes me want to choke him.

How do you get treatment? Health care (at least from my mom's docs) makes me want to scream. I am so not used to this. I have not encountered this before, it is a foreign world to me.

Does it just heal on it's own or is there something other treatment need to happen? It sucks not knowing what to do and get no help from professionals. Any advice?
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shall I entertain you all with a current event that has nothing to do with caregiving but just strange human behavior?
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hello all.. it has been very quiet here today..everyone busy?
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Jam- thanks for the cow pattie, i don't think i have had but one since joining the thread. Maybe i can make the next one! I hope your toe feels better tomorrow and isn't too BIG!!! The other day connor and i saw a wasp(In January????) that's kinda crazy isn't it? Take it easy on them dance moves.....
Ladee- I have been smoking for a long time since i was a teenager. I have quit 3 times. One of those times was when i found out i was pregnant with connor. Then dad got sick and i started back from all the stress. There is no way i could do this caregiving stuff without smoking. I would be the BI%$# from hell. Gotta have my smokes. I know they are terrible for me but I need them right now or i will go insane and i can't do that right now, got too much on my plate. I can't be going to no looney bin. I'm glad that you and marie are getting along these days I know that must help with the stress level for you and her. And i am glad that sonny is still smiling these days. He sounds like a sweet man. And meeting Starri and her hubby in a few weeks that sounds exciting. You will have to fill us in on what all ya'll do.
Burned- Love and hugs sweetie. You have your hands full.
Vic- I hope you will be able to find something that will work for your dad and his undies. I wish i could offer more advice on that but i do not know much about it. Thank God dad can still do that for himself. The Mucus is enough for me and his feeding tube.
Shelia- I hope that you will come back here and post. This place has been what has kept me sane for the last 6 or 7 months now. It will be your place to go when you feel like you have no where else to turn. The girls here are wonderful and will offer you advice on different topics that you have concerns about. So come back and check us out. Love and hugs to all stormyyyy
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Things are picking up another hectic tactic on me lol but i am trying and sometimes it can break me down...I have those moments especially with dealing with depression added with grief of losing my grandmother last year. I say keep tossing me in the ring and Ill fight back...yes we do lose our emotions whether online or not. We do ....so I am hoping in time the past will be the past and we can move back to searching not for companionship but ourselves in the present....as a dear friend of mine use to say there is a special place in heaven for us caregivers whether we wanted to take the role on or not .....we are who we are no matter the walks of life we come from....hubby is giving me an easy night and so were watching a movie ....post when i can again ttyl Peace N god bless again I am on FB if you want to add me:) always need more support ...after all we may not be football players but were definitely a team of strong individual grp of men and women...
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I am sorry I didn't write yesterday so I have to say something about the turmoil here... I am sorry for Sheila who is new, and for RW who just bumped in a few bad days on this thread.... Sheila and RW, I "met" the "Grossed Out" thread almost 2 years ago, and when "the Careiver" thread was created I started to write on it, and I continue to write on Grossed Out because I have friends here and there. I agree completely on what Burnedin says. This site, as a whole, is great and helped me a lot and it continues to help me a lot. There are many different personalities here, very strong ladies and very sweet ladies. As everywhere in life. Of course there must be sooner or later some clash of personalities, as everywhere in life. I was lucky I got to know this site in a "calm" period, so when the first turmoil "burst" out, I could take it in the right way. I understand that if a person jumps in in one bad moment, he/she can feel discouraged. Please Sheila and RW, don't! Just hold your judgment for a while and wait until things are back on track again. It is really a pity if you lose this opportunity. This site really helps people and as I always say, I am still alive and relatively sane of mind thanks to it. We are tired and full of problems and sometimes we just lose our patience... But I really hope you continue to stay. We are REAL PEOPLE... and real people fight every now and then! Kisses, Sheila and RW.
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RE: POA I don't know if I was lucky or what, but my mom was strong enough when she got here, in mind and body, that she insisted on going to a lawyer to have a POA made up. She told him what she wanted me to be able to do for her. It did cost $275 to have done, but that was all I ever needed, anywhere, for anything. It listed all the selling of properties, all the medical issues including NH placement. Other than the fact that it wasn't a tear-off preprinted form, I never knew of anything else I needed. That same lawyer did her will with me in the room....and other than asking for me to leave momentarily, to see if she had been coerced in any way, it was easy, breezy. To be on the safe side, I did print off the computer a medical directive for this state and had it notarized, but I never filed it with the court....kept it in a file at home. Everytime we had to visit a new doctor, I made sure to ask if there was a form needed for those who could get any info about her health over the phone and made sure to fill out names of family members she wanted to know. I'm beginning to think I got away with things easier because if asked, I said I had everything.

A dear friend who spent 72 days in ICU had to be declared incompetant by the court, which did require a court visit to ICU, before his wife could become his guardian and therefore apply for his long term benefits through his employment. One of the first things they did after his recovery, and another competancy hearing, was to fix it so that never happened to either one of them ever again. Just not sure how they did that. Makes me want to cover our butts here...hmmmm.

BTW, Sheila.......welcome.....hope we have something to offer you. RW is new here also.

Jam, hope you can get a shoe on.......I would have a bowling ball on my toe by now....I'd rather put my foot on a slug in my shoe like neighbor Kathy did. Wasn't thinking bee this time of year. Bet you hurt from the dancing tomorrow.

Vic...sending you more zzzzzzzzzzzz's uninterrupted tonight.

9:30 pm and have been cooking for hubby. Only a few more days on this shift. Amen..............later...........
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Vic I bet you are tired after such a long day and hopefully the outcome will be an improvement in Dad. We'll be rooting for him to get up and move around. I could even teach him a "honeybee dance"......:)

Damn, my toe is sore!

Happy Trails,
Jam
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Vic, I will have to find out the name of what Marie has, sounds a lot like what your dad has... but she receives blood transfusions every two to three weeks.... other than being very weak sometimes she doesn't have the same mobility problems as your dad.... guess there are different kinds... i know she gets depressed sometimes because she can't get around like she used to... but she has been talking about recipes today, so maybe her and I can get in the kitchen and make some goodies... she can set at the table and I'll bring her what she needs and learn at the same time....and if it has chocolate in it we'll have to watch Sonny... he does love his chocolate.... !!!!
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Stormy I'm with you..but I think I will have a glass of wine.
Burned thank you
Seeme and Ladee...thought the undies would be her by now myself...I always write order number down and then look for email confirmation...weeeelllllll....dummy me.. didn't write order number down and of course wouldn't you know no email confirmation! and of course the company is now closed...ah another item to add to the list.
Dad went to see hematologist today ... his kidneys are not producing the erythropoietin. He started on the procrit shot and will go back every two weeks for two months ...we will see him in march. Dad was diagnosed with pernicious anemia back in 05. they had to do a bone marrow test. at the time they found early myelodysplastic changes. as was explained today this is a slow deterioration of the bone marrow. the reason I mention this is that the treatment for deterioration is the same. ...
anyway he should start feeling a little better soon and maybe his confusion etc will abate a bit. who knows he may even stand and move better.
am tired has been an exhausting day. we are blessed to have a cancer center in our town..so we didn't have to go far. the doc was great.
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stormy you can have my cow pattie.................I'll share...:)
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hi sheila....don't be afraid to land here, you are welcome and we really are a nice bunch of care givers. It takes many voices to make a thread successful and sometimes everyone fits and sometimes they don't. Happens on all of the threads. This one will get back to normal now. I like your terminology...Dead Documents....hubby and I updated his mother's just recently and I learned a valuable lesson. Don't trust your attorney to get everything done correctly.....READ, READ AND THEN LOOK OVER THE WHOLE THING AGAIN. We found that the attorney wrote up that if her son, my husband was unable or unwilling to perform any of the duties then it fell to my son. Hello? And since it takes a notary and 2 witnesses to sign her Advanced Directive we can't get the attorney to go to her and get it done. So just be vigilant. Another thing we did was, if her money runs out and she is still alive and we must look to Medicaid to pay, we placed all of her money in a Trust acct......I can pay her bills and buy anything as long as it's for her and we don't have to mess with the "spend down" right now. When she does die then we would receive a bill from Medicaid for whatever amount they spent on her. I think her money will outlast her, but who knows? Yes, care giving is more than just wiping butts, although sometimes that feels like 98% of it.....lol
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Sheila, sorry about the bickering, it's not usually like that so thank you for taking a risk....there are many on here who know about poa and such... I am sure they will post later this evening....
yes, in order to keep your loved one safe and you being able to step in when neccessary is vital... then you can get on with wiping butts.... but at least you are covered legally and can help your loved one to not be taken advantage of....It a blessing these things are in place but can be mind boggling to a new caregiver.... you are very welcome here, hopefully the storm has passed and we can get on with things.... others will welcome you also.... let us know if you have any questions or just need to let it all hang out.... hugs and angels sent to you....

Stormy, I didn't know you smoked.... don't think there are many on here that do, I do, I tell others that it may be killing me but it is saving others lives... have smoked too long to give it up now....So put Conner to bed and fix your drink... long day with dad????? Relax and have a good evening....
Had a very good day at work, I really think Marie missed me... we talked more today than we usually do..... her and I have come so far... and then there's my sweet little Sonny man.... He slept until almost 9 this morning, but woke up with a smile on his face like always.... other than my back hurting, it was a good day.... Hope everyone else had a good day, check in and let us know how you are... hugs...
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I've been on Grossed Out--Need to Vent for a couple of weeks and just found this site. I've read back a few days, and I'm kinda scared to join in. Seems to be a lot of bickering. But, since, I'm relatively new at caregiving, I need all the help and support I can get, so I'm going to stick around and see.

As I said, this trip down loss-of-memory-lane is new, so there's a lot to learn. I learned something new today that I'd like to share in case anyone else can benefit. There was talk here of getting POAs. I thought I had all our i's dotted and t's crossed when we got what I call our Dead Documents done--wills, living wills and POAs, both health and financial. My husband just went through a psych eval, and the psychologist was talking to me today about the fact that she believes him to now be past competency and urged me to get a one-step-further document--guardianship. From what I understood, the gist is that the POA allows us to make decisions for our loved ones if they are unable to speak for themselves, and the guardianship allows us to override poor judgment decisions that our loved ones may make; e.g. if they wanted to start giving chunks of money to strangers, or they refused NH placement, but weren't safe alone, or insisted on buying a car and driving even though incapable.

There's so much to consider besides just wiping butts.
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Damn i just missed it. The cow pattie that is. I was soooo close....
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Well, i just got through reading the many posts of tonight and i don't know whether to get my cigarettes out or my frozen margarita. I think i will do both. Just trying to get some humor back in this place. Glad it's over though. Love and hugs stormyyyy... Love all of ya'll....
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Cow pattie Jam,,, yehaw....
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Ditto....ladee and seeme............getting sleepy now....:)
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Burned, you have come so far and thanks for your encourgement for things to get back to normal here.... all storms pass...
Like Seeme, I remember when you first posted.... and to see how far you have come, the things you have had to do, all the outside help you have had to ask for.... you are amazing, and glad to see you posting more often... hugs and angels.....
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Burned...I remember your first posts....you sounded so lost then......with life and the overwhelming responsibility of caregiving for your family. You are an inspiration to anyone who has seen your growth on this thread. You are why I stick around.....if only to make you smile...........
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its another typical day in the smith household and i have all the bills paid nearly...one more left. Tomorrow I take my daughter for her appt with our therapist to see how she is handling things. The kids have been typical and yes I know caring for the one you love or caring for a complete stranger it is still something. Caregiving is given those with tough attitudes and strong hearts...compassionate to sacrifice what once was their life...the person u care for becomes ur life....living example I take care of my husband and raise 2 children at times I feel as though I am completely alone but I am not....slowly but surely getting some support from the community. My life is hectic and not simple not the way I want it but I take it with a grain of salt and tsp of sugar to sweeten it help. I rather do what i am doing...as for anyone being scared off that isnt the case but to lose respect for oneself and others no matter how the situation is we should keep it respectful and clean cuz this is for all of us. We can scream online when we can't let out a big scream...we all have that scream inside of us yet at the same time we have that thing called love. I love this site and thread so ignoring the preening or whatever....I am using this to let out my frustation and my heartache dealing with a big situation....every situation is different there is no need to judge ...just be there....I like reading the humor bits gives me a joy and i like reading the sympathy for others afraid of losing the person they admire and love most....I am exhausted and burned but I keep going....because God gives me my daily dose of strength and inspiration thru my husband and my two children...i truly do not care if my 2 cents isnt worth it just having my say and lets turn this thread back to what it is an outlet for the turbulent emotions and advice...learn to be friends...I need this and as do you all in way or another....so lets do what we do best and be helpful :) Peace N God Bless
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mis, hope you and hubby are ok.. I know today was very rough for both of you... loved the pic of the new baby on FB.... hope sil behaved herself.... let us know how things are with you....
Lindy, hope there was no major injuries with your mom.... I know you are worn out and are just hoping things go more smoothly until time for her placement...
Vic, have you ever used the extra pads for men in his "night pants", that's what I called them so I could get Ruth to wear them.... hope the new ones come in soon...
RW, hope you had a good work out last night, wish I had that kind of motivation....
Is there any kind of elder day care or senior center your mom could go to, or would she not agree to that....let us know how you are....
Seeme, good news about mil... nothing serious... a blessing all the way around...hope you are feeling better with your cold... how much longer before you get the puppies??? Think M will post some pics on FB???? Gotta show everyone the new babies.....
Jam hope your toe isn't swollen, I could just picture all the dogs howling and jumping around...not to mention you dancing..... and of course Target knows nothing.... did he even find the meds for you to put on it????
Have got a ton of things to do around here, Starri and hubby will be here in a few weeks, am really looking forward to meeting one of my sister friends..... love and hugs and angels to help us thru......
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OMG...........where is B when you need her?
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You've done your best to run Peg off. You and Ladeeda and anyone else who participated owe her an apology. You should all be ashamed of yourselves for the way you've attacked her.

This is not a high school clique. And you don't own it.
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No Maya....you're right this thread is about care giving....of all types, whether that is caring for someone in your home, theirs, a NH or being a professional....which to me takes a very special person because they chose to do the job, it didn't choose them. In case you have forgotten, underwear and lingerie are off the "care givers" list of topics also. You seem to have a need to attack others here through me..........if that makes you feel better, then go ahead.....
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Gee, why am I not surprised at your childish posting?

Answer the question. Does your employer know that you complain about them on a public message board?

Something tells me that they don't.
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Fingers in my ears, eyes closed, LALALALALALALALALALALA
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Jam, it's about caregiving and not about decorating or how to housebreak a dog. It isn't about being a visitor in someone's life or being an employee caregiver. It's about real caregivers who are struggling to keep going themselves while they do their best to keep their loved ones going as well.

And yes, you contribute to it being off-topic all the time. Should I remind you?

I do know what I've witnessed in these attacks on Peg. I see where you've taken it upon yourself to decide where and how this thread will go.

Once again, you don't own this board, so how dare you say that you're taking it back. That's ridiculous. Grow up. This isn't a high school clique.
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