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As is taught in Child and Family Dev courses, self-regulation is learned over time and a sign of maturity. There is a time and place to spout out and a time and place to keep quiet: we all decide where that variation lies. And it is unlawful to yell "fire" in a crowded theater no matter how badly you want to. Self-regulation is important to learn; knowing when to use appropriate behavior (depending upon people, location, and topic) is a lifelong process.
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Good morning everyone!

I agree that not walking on eggshells is much healthier although unhealthy people would rather we not see, feel or speak. Although it might not always work, I find the best way to say how I feel is to own my own feelings by saying I feel ___ when you do or because of __ instead of you are making me feel so angry or whatever. The first communicates a statement, but the second communicates an attack although even with an I statement some will hear an attack

Several days ago, I shared about some good news after my wife went to Duke Hospital's breast cancer center about her mammogram. I think I shared that they were going to get more of her past mammogram results. Well, With more information from her previous mammograms, the people at Duke Hospital have scheduled a biopsy for my wife on Friday, January 13th at 9:30. We've learned that her mammogram score was 4 which is not as good as a 3 or below but not as bad as a 5.

Also, my roofing repair people have various health problems that are keeping them from getting things fixed and I'm back to sleeping to much again, but not feeling rested when I do get up. I will be so glad to see my new psychiatrist on January 16th.
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Morning all, ladee you are right that people tend to tiptoe around, we're taught that behavior from the time we start to crawl, not to make people upset, not to cause a fight, etc.. I know I use to drive mom nuts, cause I would not bite my tongue and keep the "peace", she never stopped to think about "my" peace.

My inability to bite my tongue generally gets me in trouble, I don't care if your the janitor or the owner of a company, if there is something on my mind, it's out my mouth.. My favorite thing to say is where most people have a stop sign on the back of their tongue, mine is "if it's in there, spit it out" lol.

How is everyone doing today?
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Sdpeg- sorry, just found your friend request on fb. We are friends now. If you want to read the post that is on my page, its about a man with a 20.00 dollar bill at a seminar. And it's down a little ways on my page. Hugs stormyy
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notlikemom, if you live in Casa Crazy then it is 'lucl'!!!!!!!
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luck - oops.
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Carol-sounds like a good plan to put your Mom in rehab. It will be safer for both of you. You are still providing her the best care by choosing this.
Burned-sounds like you have alot going on right now. Hugs and know we are here for you.
Mis-I wish peace for you and your family. Funerals are for the living, to help you grieve. It's not easy to pick verses and such, but it's all part of the process of healing. Thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs.
Well, quiet here at Casa Crazy. Dad will be having his treatments on Fridays, starting on 1/20. He should be able to drive himself and not have major side effects. That's a blessing.
Looking forward to a good weekend. Have alot to get done taking down Christmas decorations, laundry, food shopping - you all know the drill. I want to enjoy the mundane things and have some "normal" time without any blowups from Mom. Wish me lucl!
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disclaimer....... I was NOT calling anyone here 'an appeasing liar' or insinuating anything..... ahhh, no matter how I try to explain this is is going to just get weird, so take what you need and leave the rest...I am talking about my OWN family...
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mis, we will be thinking of you and your family..and please come back often, and let us know how you are doing... give hubby hugs for me....
And you got to the new one.. hope you got a few little kisses, they are so precious..
Ro, I truly wish that people could and would talk to thier famillies more openly about things... for some here in the US we tip toe around, don't want to rock the boat, don't want anyone mad at us, and then we wonder why the dysfuntion continues...I am like you when it comes to saying how I feel, hence to the family I am a 'black sheep', that's ok, I'm not an appeasing liar either.... I have many friends who we do not walk on eggshellls and the relationships are so much healthier.....
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stormy- yes your brother should be told and your niece should face charges on what she did that's just not right. your niece needs some professional help. ((((hugs))) to you.

maya - hope your mom gets to feeling bette.

Yesterday we went down and made the arrangements for grandma's funeral and visitation. I lost it when we picked out the verse for the card. I posted on facebook that grandma passed and my friend Trish could believe how many comments there was and Trish thought that was amazing that so many commented. I've been getting alot of texts on phone too. The sil didn't go with my husband and I and I'm glad she didn't to make the arrangements. Grandma's viewing is on Monday and her funeral is on Tuesday morning.
On a lighter note, we met our great niece last night. She's so precious. Mom and baby are home now and doing great.
I'm still going to come here and check in on everyone. It takes special people to be caregivers and you all are angels taking care of your loved ones.
Thinking about you all.
Melissa
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So your brother will have to face the truth... Try to tell him that if he doesn't do something and is in denial, his daughter might go to prison sooner or later. This should wake him up.
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Ros- I know what u mean. Sis and i feel like she is in over her head. We are scared that she might be messing with peoples insurance. And if she is, then God help her. She left a perfectly good job with nationwide insurance years ago making 30,000.00 a year or more and we still don't know why she left. Unless she was doing something with the customers money and she figured she better go ahead and bail out before someone finds out. Sis and i want to tell our brother be fear that he will just brush it off and say that it was the other woman that works at our store. But we know how our neice has been living for the past year or longer. Just a list of things that she has spent her money on- she has been on at least 2 cruises, does the dyeing of the hair probably every month, has her nails and toenails done, goes to virginia to see her husband every weekend( he works up there) that adds up in gas, of course, has started a boutique inside her insurance place, buys merchandise for the boutique, just got back from being at the beach for 4 days for new years eve. Went to a fancy fund raiser that i think costs 200.00 per person. So that's 400.00 for her and her hubby. Seeing shows at the beach.And i'm sure this is just to name a few.....
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Brandy, I don't know why you shouldn't post here. If your sister disagrees, this is her problem!
Mis sorry for your grandma... and I am glad it happened peacefully.
Stormy, I don't know, I have the impression that your niece is not ashamed at all about what she made, and if she could, she would continue to do it. I think you and your sister have the duty to tell your brother (as soon as he is better), because this girl needs help... She has to be stopped now, before she makes a huge mess and screws her life. I don't know, it's just my idea.
Goodnight everybody...
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Anyone want a story?

When they were teenagers, my mother and her younger brother traveled via bus to their older brother's first wedding. A little old lady got on the bus and asked my uncle if he would please put her bag into the rack above. She told them that she couldn't do it herself because she was "so feak and weeble". It's been a private joke between them ever since. One will say that they're feeling a bit feak and weeble and the other one will start to grin. They were always pretty close when they were kids. He still sends her flowers for Christmas and when she's in the hospital. His wife is a really nice lady. Sometimes you have to wonder how she got roped into this group.
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carol, happy to hear you have a good plan... and no, that would just be too much.... hope you get things settled, so YOU can get settled and enjoy your girls..... hugs to you...
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Well the time has come, I'm going to have to put my Mom in Rehab. I will not be able to handle her with only one good leg. Her right leg will be totally non-weight bearing for a long time. No way I can take care of her. Got company more news later. Carol
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today my son is having his first day as a 5 yr old and now i got to get step on somethings and my doc thinks there is nothing essentially worrisome about hubby yet he just stopped breathing a min ago and I had to give him his emergency inhaler. He has been complaining alot about chest pain but mainly he needs to be motivate to do something so he isnt so down....meanwhile I am saving money to get another laptop once I talk to ssa and call the district office to transfer policies to here in Az but sometimes I wonder if its worth it all...I would love to sell my afghans but I cannot wait to start loom knitting i feel i might make a better product to bring in extra money in order to possibly set up a booth for the small town festivals that happen here...anything worth while doing is worth profiting from even if it helps me to stop robbing peter to pay paul... hanging there will give update later...got one more errand to run and i am chilling for awhile but i wish i knew what i could do for supper.
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Not doing too good. I am afraid to post on here, for fear that sister will recognize the situation and then I will catch H*ll. She is so sensitive it is pathetic. I guess I could post about my husband and his MCI and she would leave me alone. But it is Mom who has the problem the worst. Mom has dementia, husband has Mild Cognitive Impairment.
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I was right. It's an infection. They're calling in a prescription for an antibiotic. She's feeling feak and weeble right now, but she'll feel better with the meds, I hope.

And yes, there's a story about feak and weeble. I'll tell it sometime soon.
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ms, I am so sorry about Grandma.
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Sdpeg- i sent you my email, check your profile on ac.
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Emjo- I agree totally!!!!! sis has been holding back so much for so long. A person can only take so much before they burst.
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well, lost 2 posts so this is my last try -keeoing it short
stormy I hope the pingo hits the fan and your sis goes for broke - no need to hold her tongue when your niece has behaved so badly
mis (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) glad you and rob were there and it was peaceful
ros -dorothy is beautiful
everyone hope you are doing decently well today - I just can't write it all out agan and lose it
love
jo
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Sdpeg-talking about family drama- you just wait until my sil finds out that her daughter is not working up at the store. That's probably when all hell is going to break loose. And i just don't know how much more of holding her tongue my sister can do. There might be a all out war this year!!!!! Sil is going to wonder why her daughter is not working up there even though it was probably about 2 days a week she worked and probably about equal to 10 hours of work. Better go dad is coming back from the br. will gossip later......... Hugs stormyyyyy
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sdpeg- r u one of my friends on fb? request for friendship if not. love stormy
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To me that just sounds like she said, "To hell with ya'll".
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Emjo- Yes, I think she is pretty special too!!!! I feel bad that our neice took advantage of our family, but really she did a number on my sister because debbie trusted her. And our neice just took that trust and threw it in the trash. My sister had been crying to her and me for months saying that she didn't have the money to pay the bills at the store and our neice hear and knew all of this, still she said nothing and just kept on stealing to satify her wants. I think that is pretty sorry of her. Thanks for listening stormyyyy
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Mis-so sorry you are in my thoughts and prayers.... :( Stormyyyy
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Mis..love and prayers are with you...
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Ro - dear heart, Dorothy is adorable!. You've suffered so much loss recently and are a hero to all these pets. Take strength from knowing how much better their lives are/were because of you. (((hugs)) Bee
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