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Good afternoon all!

As we approach Christmas day itself, two ideas come to mind. First, the hilly area of Bethlehem has several small caves, one of which the early Christians thought is the place where Jesus was born. Figuratively speaking, many of us feel like we are living in some sort of cave with darkness all around. May the Word made flesh, the light of the world which the darkness has not overcome, the only begotten Son of God who understands our human condition and who is our compassionate savior send his light to cast out the darkness of your cave; send his Holy Spirit strongly to help you know that he, Immanuel, is with you and understand's the pain of the burdens that you bear; and renew your inner person with his saving grace. Second, Shepherds were rather poor folks who would have never expected the first announcement of the Messiah's birth to be made to them. No matter how poor you may be; how insignificant you might feel that you are; or how looked down upon or isolated from how others live, may you know afresh the joy of the good news of Christmas that was first announced to the poor, isolated, and looked down upon by society shepherds! Amen and Merry Christmas!!!
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She has been using her television remote control! (as a telephone)
Thank you for the laugh!!! That is so funny.
My mom put her pants on inside out ... it is so difficult to stifle a laugh!!!
But she IS putting shepherds and angels around the nativity she has had since 1948 ~ the first Christmas married to my Dad (RIP: 2010). One tiny step at a time.
But laughter IS the best medicine and between inside out pants and remote controls as a telephone ... I will be very healthy laughing through this holiday!
Yes the remember the REASON...Amen!
SDPeg
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Good Afternoon Posse!

I hope the day is good for all and improves for those who are having unexpected troubles. As Vic says.....may the REASON for the season be in your hearts. Please don't allow yourself to be caught up in the hectic, stressful, hustle and bustle.....we all know there is enough of that in our lives that we don't need the added from the holiday trolls!

Maybe this will give you a chuckle......we finally discovered why and how the col has been getting herself so agitated when trying to call us. She has been using her television remote control! The aide walked into her room last night and she is hollering hello into the remote! I'm thinking it's time..........out of sight, out of mind......it will take 5 min and she will no longer remember there was a phone and won't get herself so worked up.

Hugs to mis.................

I am wishing all the blessings and peace you can imagine for all of my new found friends and for those who walked the care giver journey with me words cannot express my deepest feelings for you...........you ALL are very special to me and you are my blessing......MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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Thank you Vickie Vic, just what I needed to hear today... love ya and appreciate ya.
Have a good day everyone, ya'll are in my prayers....
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Morning all my caregiver friends! I pray the day is the best and that all of you can take a few minutes of me time ...even if it is on the toilet! It is a very tough time with a lot of us right now...the stress of "trying to make Christmas" is not something we should be doing. Please please roll with the flow as best you can these next few days. Try to be joyous in the moment...even when granma, mom, dad, hubby etc are being crabby or ugly with you because of whatever they are going through. We do what we do because we love so deeply in spite of it all.
Try to breathe in the heat of the moment...turn your back do a little twirl.... This to shall pass.
I am so grateful for all of you...you are and have been my strength and support ...each of you are in my prayers ... For strength and hope ...and in thanksgiving.
May the "REASON" for the season be in your hearts and give you renewed strength of mind, spirit and body.
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I am tired from running around all week after a week of finals at school but today was fun. While mom was at hair dresser I drove into the neighboring town (30 minutes away) to get something. I had reward points to use so I opted for a small purse size camcorder. It is really cute, by Kodak and my thought is to video my mom as much as I can for my own memories and others as well. The blessing was: the camcorder was marked down from $129.99 to $79.99 then I had $37+ of points!!! So for under $100 I was able to get the camcorder, memory card, 2-year insurance on it and a calendar for mom. She has a particular one she likes and I wanted to add that to her ever growing pile of gifts for Christmas. I scored on that camcorder!!! And just think of the memories I will have. I have not had one before so now that it is charged up I will be able to figure out how to use it before Christmas.
Mom and I went to a holiday party at the local casino. I came home with $300 more than what I left with. So I guess you could say the camcorder was free with some leftover for etc for Christmas. woo hoo. So tonight I am happy and Mom said she was thankful that I am with her. Despite all the crap others try to dump on her (ok: not others, just bro), she has been looking so happy lately. I think she is seeing the strength she has in making it through yet another holiday without my Dad. Do I miss him? Cry for him? Ache with this loss? Yes. And I do share that with my mom but I also encourage her (and myself) to enjoy life.
I encourage you all to do the same!
Good night
SDPeg
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Shawna: I gave my mom her ornament tonight and I wish I could explain to you the happiness I saw on her face seeing HER nativity on an ornament. I told her friend of mine made if from a photo I had. I cannot thank you enough for the work you put into this masterpiece. I cannot thank you enough for putting a smile on my mom's face as she immediately recognized HER nativity on the ornament you made. How am I doing tonight? I am doing great knowing you Shawna. Thank you for the depths of my heart!!! SDPeg
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me too! just had early Christmas supper with my daughter, sil and grandkids and the presents were right on -they were thrilled. That's as good as it is going to get, I think, and I should be thankful, and I am, but some other stuff is simmering on the burner and may explode yet -aaaargh!!! and I don't mean moose antlers - and Christmas being over is not going to solve that
trying to find something philosophical to say, but didn't have much sleep last night so gonna do the seeme thing zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and hope I am in a better mood tomorrow morning -sometimes life sucks -and that's a fact!
love ya all
jo
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To bpryor01: Take heart in this. You've had an excrutiating day and feel like you've hit the bottom. The good news is you can only go up from her. New day, new ideas, new strength, and new love. Stay strong, we understand.
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Ditto to what brandywine just said......
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Now how am I doing? Feeling a little anxious. Will be so glad when Christmas is over.
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And you could always ask for a job in the "LAUNDRY ROOM".....
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Prison does sound like a nice break doesn't it mismiley....lol... meals cooked, tv, lots of down time..... naps, " What are you in for?".
"me? Oh I smacked my grandma"......
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How am I doing today? Well was doing good until 10 minutes ago. Grandma threatened me again this time she doubled her fist. I told her go right ahead and do it cause when you do you'll be in the NH. I'm getting to be soo done with this crap.
I just need to go to the Laundry room. She was really confused when she did this. I came in from the garage from smoking (was suppose to quit on Thanksgiving that's not happening yet or in the near future). She said that she had to know what I was doing. I asked her why she needed to know. Then she says that she didn't care what I was doing. Oh she also said that she was going to send me to prison. Ok, well I'll take a hot pink jumpsuit, a tv and maybe I'll get to finally to some college course to while I'm there serving my time.
Speaking of the Laundry Room. I was talking with one of my friends at work about the Laundry Room. My friend has a Therapy night on Thursday for men only. He thought the Laundry Room is a great idea.
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Ros- chicken soup is an excellent Christmas food. Get better soon!
Mom was actually nice to me today. Talked to me, bought me my favorite donut. Hmm. Maybe I'll keep these grandkids around longer.
My sister says she thinks more of Mom's memory is going. And her general cognition. Sis has noticed a number of things like this. I respect her opinion because she knows how Mom was before the cancer. I need to get that testing scheduled after the holidays.
Night all. I hope tomorrow night (when we open presents) goes the way mom wants. This might be her last one, and that makes me sad.
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Merry Christmas to all!! My mom is home from her respite. It doesn't seem like she was there for 5 days. It was good. So glad I did it; though the decision was very difficult.
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Merry Christmas Ros..........COW PATTIE!!!!!! I hope you and Mom start to feel better soon....hot soup sounds really good.

Welcome theinbetween that's exactly why I started this thread....because no one seems to pay any attention to the care giver. It's almost like we don't exist......wouldn't you just love to look at some people and say "oh I'm just peachy, that's why my hair isn't combed...I'm real good at making a ponytail or pulling it behind my ears....what make-up? Never heard of it........yes, I know my perfume is a little much, didn't have time for a shower, gee why do I feel funny? Guess I forgot to take my medicine today.........but by golly my loved one got theirs.....*sniff-sniff* oops, guess I missed a spot......hungry.....I'll eat sometime......." People look at us but see the loved one as the needy one because we are taking care of them. They don't see the hardship that care causes to the care giver. And then we end up here, because where else can we go to find others that feel like we do? We belong to a unique group who can see the humor in cleaning poop and answering a repeated question repeated times. So stick around and when you need a pat on the back, just ask, we have a lot to go around.

burned.....you might be able to go to the IRS website and find the answers to your questions. Eggnog and vodka....doesn't sound half bad...hmmmmmmm.

Got fudge made....cookies tomorrow....then I'll share...lol.

Hope it's been a good day for all.

Happy Trails,
Jam
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I agree with burned. I can't wait for Christmas to be over with. Found out that sister is not going to ask me to care give anymore for a while. She doesn't want to pay me. So she is going to do it herself. I can tell you this that Mom has oodles of money, tons of it and could easily pay me. They have to pay the aide, why can't they pay me. The aide is on vacation right now. I'm sure I will catch H**ll for this writing or for asking for money. So its a problem all the way around. So now going to do a crossword puzzle and detach from all this.
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Is there anyone with info regarding with filing taxes and whether or not if I can claim hubby as dependent and since I am his aide how do I work this out...any info would be appreciated...
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"will have" an acceptable Christmas. See, I am confused!
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Hi girls. My mother and I are still fighting with the flu, my mother is sleeping practically all day long and I feel so tired and confused in my head that I understand why she feels like this, so I am not worried anymore for her. This is kind of a strange flu which takes all your energies away! I hope we'll be decently well for Christmas and for what follows. We are going to see my brother and family on 25th, and we are going to have the famous cousins meeting on 26th, while tomorrow night my mother and I will be by ourselves, but considering that we don't feel too well, I think I am going to cook a very hot soup for both of us! I hope everyone of us will be an acceptable Christmas...
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hi all and happy holidays....well my migraines are back since my collapse in june but had a period of no migraines. I sorely miss my family back home but nothing i can do about it and yes may seem trite but i havent been able to send anyone presents or cards for bdays and xmas but i have been so low on funds. I am slowly getting the rest of the christmas presents together via fed ex and ups for the kids. I am just overwhelmed and ready to soak in eggnog n vodka bath. My sister is trying to say my son is autistic when he makes eye contact and communicates effectively its just this sleep problem were having. Right now they are playing together. Then my dear lovely friend is pushing the move to WA state but were not ready to move there...physically i cannot handle the stress of another move and starting over again to be his aide. It may seem stagnant but until i get hubby's referrals done and arranging sitting and then try to get a caregiver in the interim so that I can make my own appts to see the nuerologist myself. I have already requested a new referral for a different gyno since the last one was rude and didnt want to wait for the medical release from west valley. I have decided overall care for my husband would be Banner Estrella in PHX bigger hospital more equipment maybe more professional behavior. Lol believe it or not i am still trying to let go of the accusation of his PCP saying I am giving him arsenic when I found the well water here in town contains besides extreme amount of mixed sulfates and yet I am killing my husband flat out ridiculous. LOL hubby demanded I get myself a pair of new balance sneakers because i been wearing sandals. I do not understand but at 33 i am experiencing hip pain, missed monthly visitor, back pain and migraines . I can't be falling apart my kids need me so how i can cope with all of this. Last night hubby had small grand mal episode and i had to literally lift him onto his bed after he almost ran into one of our other computer set ups and his pulse is staying at 99 above 35 sometimes lower tho pulse ox is good. I am tired n stressed and I cant wait for christmas to be over with.
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This is a frustration of mine. Why is it that no one seems to ask how you, the caregiver are doing? It's always how the person being cared for is? I get that people think by asking this, somehow it shows they care about what's happening with our loved one, but it's maddening to me that no one seems to care enough to ask how it's going. Sometimes it's extremely difficult. If they really cared, wouldn't they ask instead how they could help. Really tired of dealing with people who don't seem to care and replace true care with niceties..
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Yeah, Jam, don't be so stingy........Guess I will go to Kathy's since that's where all teh baking is being done........Mike is sleeping....I am trying to be quiet......and I dropped the bathroom squeegee while I was in the shower....gotta get out of here while I can.......ttyl......
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Please share the cookies and fudge!!!
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Good Morning Posse!

Wanted to check in before I start my day of cookie and fudge making.

Sharwood......welcome, pull up a chair and as ladee says, join the rest of the exhausted care givers here. Sorry to hear Dad is being aggressive. You learn to duck real fast....:) You might want to consider a check-up to rule out any medical issues that can be fixed. It's possible that the aggression is the way of his dementia, unfortunately some go that way while others become very sweet and loving. I wonder if when waking Dad he is startled and just lashes out. Maybe you could try gently calling his name to rouse him then uncover him and get him up. Whenever my mil would fall asleep and I would need to wake her, I either made noise so she would wake on her own, or I very gently touched her while saying her name.....I don't know how many times she would practically jump out of her skin!

I visited with the col yesterday and I am noticing a trend of she is not wanting to really visit....it's almost like we are intruding and when we say it's time for us to go, she doesn't try to get us to stay. We tried to call her for several hours last night without her answering, then around 10:30 she calls us and I could hear an aide talking so apparently she got someone to help her dial the correct number. When I was there yesterday, I went over how to open the phone, push the number 2 and then push the green button. I wrote that down on paper and left it on the corner of her bedside table. I'll give you 3 guesses as to how long she remembered that. Anyway, when I answered the phone I could hear panic in her voice....well, she had worked herself into such a state and thought there was something wrong because we weren't answering our phone. We see her about every 2 days, so I'm seriously thinking of taking the phone away from her. She cannot remember how to dial, cannot remember our number, doesn't answer when we call and it seems to now be causing increased agitation on her part.
And I have to also call our attorney back today because the screw-up he did with all the col's revised paperwork is still causing us problems. The NH doesn't want to resign where the attorney messed up, so we must find another way for witnesses and the notary to verify the col's signature. I'm going to have Target call the att office and stress that $2500 should have gotten us correct wording in everything.

Hope everyone is having a good day...will check back later while eating cookies and fudge....:)

Happy Trails,
Jam
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Out of the mouth of babes...took the fam damily to see Christmas lights. Stopped at a house where the whole yard is tied to music that plays short-wave on a radio station. Mom sat there in the van, looking at the back of the seat in front of her. My 6 year old niece asked her why she was just sitting there like that! It's bad when a child can tell you're unhappy and rude. Mom said the fast pace made her eyes hurt, and that's understandable, but she turns into a stone when she doesn't like something and it shows.
Rossell - sorry that your Mom is to that point. I was thinking about my Mom in what I wrote. With the cancer, though, mine will probally be following the same path. One of the tumors is in her frontal lobe and others are in places that control memory and emotions.
SDPeg - Go Mom! Go You! Good for getting the mail back! Prayers she will follow through with the rest of the changes and get rid of that awful brother.
Vic - thank you for your story. Caregiving for both parents isn't what we expected, is it? I feel like I had a plan that got thrown out the window when they said Dad had cancer too. You've had so much unexpected happen, and you are doing it with grace and strength. I am so glad we've met on the site. Double trouble! Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
CRay - Blessing for wanting to bring Dad home. Strength being sent to you...
Sharwood - Ditto what ladee said. You must protect yourself.
Hubby's feeling well enough to make me laugh again. I missed that. Baking cookies with the girls tomorrow. Night all.
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Welcome sharwood, and join the rest of us being so tired we can't think.... is there a possibility of a UTI???? If not then get him to the Dr. and get a med adjustment.... my leg was broken by Ruth this year from being aggresive and the family not listening to me about how bad it had gotten.... don't wait until he harms you in some way.... my heart goes out to you... come back and let us know how things are.... hugs to you...
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I'm tired and need a break. I really wish dad would sleep through the night. I think that would help my spirits a lot. Besides being tired I mostly worry about dad becoming more aggressive. The other morning when I pulled the covers off him to get him up for breakfast he started yelling, batting at me and trying wildly to get out of his chair (he sleeps in a recliner). Just about 1/2 hour earlier he'd been all nice and saying how much he appreciates us (not his regular personality either). I waited about an hour to try again. It started better, but once the chair was down he started the same stuff. Besides being exhausted and feeling like I live in a loony bin, I'm worried about when he starts being that way all of the time, or even just most of the time. There's no way we can keep taking care of him if he becomes regularly combative!
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She's been recently apprehended for DWI, so help me out, Ladee! I need examples!
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